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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is it me or is POF one-sided?      Home login  
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 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 101
Is it me or is POF one-sided?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

When you get 35 and up it's way more women than men.


I haven't noticed. I'm 44 and have no shortage of messages and potential dates. The guy I'm seeing right now is 34. YOu'd think would have his pick from lots of younger women, but he's spending his time with me. Go figure.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 102
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 10:15:25 AM
A lot of guys my age are realizing girls our age SUCK. It's all in how mature they are, mentally. There's lots of great girls my age, but I can understand why a lot of guys look for so much older. Around your age, the days of having fun, juggling 5 guys at a time, random sex, partying every week are over, and you're looking for something with some actual substance to it. On here, A LOT of what you find around my age is single mothers of 3 kids, people who work part time in a grocery store, but you better have a good job, every picture is at a club... It's hard when you just want someone stable, but all you can find is the exact opposite.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 103
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 11:07:55 AM

It's hard when you just want someone stable, but all you can find is the exact opposite.


Age isn't necessarily a measure of "stability".
(Not meaning that to anyone in particular, just based on experience I'm not sure there's a correlation ).
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 104
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 12:53:32 PM
People are like planets...as they get older some settle into very stable orbits while others spin out of control and into the sun...:)

Good one Forums1
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 105
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 1:17:42 PM

A lot of guys my age are realizing girls our age SUCK. It's all in how mature they are, mentally. There's lots of great girls my age, but I can understand why a lot of guys look for so much older. Around your age, the days of having fun, juggling 5 guys at a time, random sex, partying every week are over, and you're looking for something with some actual substance to it. On here, A LOT of what you find around my age is single mothers of 3 kids, people who work part time in a grocery store, but you better have a good job, every picture is at a club... It's hard when you just want someone stable, but all you can find is the exact opposite.


You have a good point. A lot of guys I know get tired of dating the party girls and start dating older women. It can be difficult to find people that aren't into the party scene or other habits. I recognize a lot of the people on here from my city. I'm always blown away by the number of people that smoke. I just don't understand the idea behind getting a nice haircut and a manicure when you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and end up looking ten years older than you are. Some of the women have extremely hoarse voices from shouting over the music at the bar. They're also a lot bigger than they used to be from the alcohol and food they consume, but they keep overdoing it because the guys around them are still complimenting them to get laid. Some of them have five kids from different fathers and tried to have more children with people you know. A good friend of mine recently went on a date with a woman in her 40's that had a colostomy bag but still wanted to get wasted all the time. They had plans to take a drive and go for supper, but she flaked out and sent him a message saying she was hungover later. There aren't a lot of stable people out there, period. Single and stable is even more rare.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 106
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 5:28:34 PM

You have a good point. A lot of guys I know get tired of dating the party girls and start dating older women. It can be difficult to find people that aren't into the party scene or other habits.


Most of the older women around here are still into the party scene too. Even women in their 40's are holding solo cups in their POF pics.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 107
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 6:01:35 PM

Even women in their 40's are holding solo cups in their POF pics.


Heyyyyy, I use Solo cups all the time.....and I'm not a partier....I just prefer to keep my dishes clean.....I like to use paper plates, too....and plastic utensils plus paper towels. But, that's just me......


It is me or is POF one-side?


All depends on which side you are viewing....
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 108
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 6:07:50 PM
"Most of the older women around here are still into the party scene too. Even women in their 40's are holding solo cups in their POF pics."


That's funny! It has been my experience that people with money like to party.....seems like that is all they do!

Of course......no red solo cups for them! ;)
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 109
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 7:58:34 PM
Heyyyyy, I use Solo cups all the time.....and I'm not a partier....I just prefer to keep my dishes clean.....I like to use paper plates, too....and plastic utensils plus paper towels. But, that's just me......


Lol I've been known to do the same. I was told that was how bachelors do it. Washing dishes isn't my thing.


That's funny! It has been my experience that people with money like to party.....seems like that is all they do!

Of course......no red solo cups for them! ;)


Well, I do live near the beach so a lot of the people here have some cash. Not much else to do besides get plastered at night either.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 110
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/20/2014 10:11:36 PM

That's funny! It has been my experience that people with money like to party.....seems like that is all they do!

Of course......no red solo cups for them! ;)


The difference is WHEN. I work 6 day weeks, I pay for my own apartment, all my bills... What would I want with a girl who calls out of work because she's hungover, because apparently getting wasted 4 hours before she has to be up for work seemed like a good idea? The people with money tend to be a little more responsible about when they party, because they have to work, that's why they have money.

Except for the rich daughters we see on TV all the time. They party as much as they do because they never have to work. They didn't have to grow up like the rest of us.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 111
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/21/2014 11:19:27 AM
If a man in his early 30s wants a girl who behaves more maturely, I suggest he go *younger*.

Women in their 40s and late 30s are often just as childish, so going older won't bring you a better behaved partner.

Meanwhile, gals in their early to mid 20s often believe they've outgrown their peers. They like playing grown-up with an older man, and they can do a good job playing the role of an adult.

The worst thing about women in their early 30s is baby rabies, the biological alarm clock. Not mentally stable.

Some men might like women your age *because* they "suck" (evil grin).
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 112
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/21/2014 11:30:04 AM

It's all in how mature they are, mentally.


That is tough to find at ANY age.
 TastyKoko
Joined: 3/14/2014
Msg: 113
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/25/2014 3:39:12 AM
So you have to seek what you offer and offer what you seek eh? What about interracial relationships? Do people who are entered in the online dating world have to contact people of their own race? Or does your strategy only apply to intelligence and physical features?
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 114
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 5/25/2014 9:24:15 AM

So you have to seek what you offer and offer what you seek eh? What about interracial relationships? Do people who are entered in the online dating world have to contact people of their own race? Or does your strategy only apply to intelligence and physical features?


Someone brought the idea up a few years ago, and it became an obsession. Just like the "alpha male" they like to talk about. It's mainly used as the answer to why the overweight guy can't get the girl from the gym, or the shy guy can't get the girl that wants to go partying all the time. It's this idea that your personalities and looks have to be this perfect match, because that's what these sites sell, your match.

The problem with this is that we see the exact opposite happening offline all the time. There's fit people who prefer bigger. There's social people who prefer someone shy. Everyone is different and doesn't all follow the same exact mold.

But the advice has a flaw. Nobody should settle, yet the person seeking should aim equal to them, but the person being messaged is free to aim high because they're the one being messaged. The advice cannot work unless BOTH people settle on less than what they want. I'm saying settle because of the refusal to take anything less you see all the time on here. Out in the world though, people look past A LOT, and end up happy together. The criteria just gets out of hand. We make these rules, but don't even know why. I've stumbled on a few profiles that demand a bachelor's degree. When you question the reason, they're smarter and they make more money. Fair enough. But I make more than she does without a degree, and I learn tons of random things in some of my free time. Also, if I'm doing this fine with money, and have room to move up and make more, why am I going to put myself $80k in debt to get a piece of paper that I'm never going to use in my field? Seems a little smarter than the people who just blindly get a degree in Psychology because that's what you're supposed to do after high school. I'm not holding a grudge, I'm just making a point... We have all these concrete rules that we will not budge on, but do we even understand what those rules mean?

I think that advice, and why so many of us are on here for way too long is because we spend too much time looking for either our match or what we think is our match, and not enough time actually building some type of relationship. You don't have to date to talk to someone. Conversation and networking is going to get you way farther than just randomly messaging people or answering only the best messages. You never know what you're missing behind the profile.
 Chayanna24
Joined: 5/17/2014
Msg: 115
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/6/2014 7:19:57 PM
So the overall message of this thread is as follows:

Women get messaged many more times than the guys do and have more control over dates

Most of the guys on this site WISH / WANT to get hit on instead of always being the one who do the hitting

It is NOT okay to get angry if after 2nd date one party disappears from radar

Continue conversation even if there is no interest since you have just made a friend,
who knows maybe for life

Younger guys really DO prefer older women

Above all, don't place too much importance on what is written on
a profile bio because none of it could be true... or worse you could be attracting the wrong person... or even WORSE you could be attracting no one at all !!

Got it :)
 gjly2k
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 116
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/16/2014 6:45:53 PM
Hi mate I've read you post and I'm still in the same situation as yourself. I've cheanged my profile abit a few times and even looked at the girls profile and messege the girl with a breif messege opening messege with something ralating back on there profile and it makes no difference, I've been coming on here on and off. Trying again messeging girls that I'm interested in and I get **** all back. I'm also on Tinder and had a few matches but when you try to get a convo out of them they don't bother to speak to you back. I've recently got knocked back by a girl few weeks ago who I use to work with. I played along with how she let me down gentley. Its still very frustrating and hard for me that I'm still getting no where but here and Tinder are like the only options for me reagarding for looking for girls atm cuz offline has been shit for me and never ending story for me getting no result.s
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 117
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/17/2014 12:07:58 AM

Women get messaged many more times than the guys do and have more control over dates


True.


It is NOT okay to get angry if after 2nd date one party disappears from radar


A person might be disappointed if someone disappears after the second time they meet them for a date, but it's a pretty silly thing to get angry about.


Most of the guys on this site WISH / WANT to get hit on instead of always being the one who do the hitting


That would probably make life easier for a lot of guys.


Continue conversation even if there is no interest since you have just made a friend,
who knows maybe for life


Sometimes you do, something you don't. It depends if the person is interesting to talk to.


Younger guys really DO prefer older women


I think a lot of guys like the maturity of older women. They get tired of the younger girls that party all the time or don't know what they want.


Above all, don't place too much importance on what is written on
a profile bio because none of it could be true... or worse you could be attracting the wrong person... or even WORSE you could be attracting no one at all !!


Of course none of it could be true. I would place more importance on how a person behaves in real life. A person can write anything they want about themselves on a profile. I can be Batman if I want to.
 Miss_ing
Joined: 8/17/2013
Msg: 118
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/20/2014 7:56:14 PM
At 21, I was meeting young men in college. They had the same experiences as I did and they were young men that hung out with same group as I did. If you are in college studying "criminal law," then look at the group your in, is there a group of young women that are constantly hanging around, PAY ATTENTION. As for your profile you do come off as self centered. Simple is more, don't demand but be kind. Would you say those things in person to a woman you like? If you do then good luck. If not then your scaring off the woman of your dreams. Be personable and not so needy.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 119
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/20/2014 9:26:07 PM
Is it me or is POF one-sided?


Yes. It's You. Markus has a bevy of hotties at his disposal on this site that he created so he could have a bevy of hotties and deny you any action. It's you.



Can anybody here give me some advice here? It has seemed to me that POF seems to be more geared towards girls because they seem to not have to do any searching because all the guys message them and they just have to read profiles and respond.


Here is some advice. Quit whining and look in the mirror and do some introspection. If you are not getting what you want,then figure out WHY, don't depend on a forum of strangers as we cannot possibly tell if you have a collection of pantyhose, trolls, star wars memoribilia, live in your mothers basement,,listen to Rick Astley... or... what the hell ever it is you are gonna blame next.

IT'S YOU.


Thanks for letting me vent, and this ain't Dear Abby. Buy me a beer when ya figger it out.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 120
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/20/2014 9:37:48 PM

TrustInKarma :I'm a woman and I'm still single. I do write men first, not even the super handsome ones, and get no responses or worse, get blocked after the first "I like your profile" message. It's not one-sided at all.



What are they blind? . LOL... Had to tease you... I dunno where Yelm is, but had I the time to get there from here after I changed the oil in my car and drove there,I'd buy ya dinner.

OP.. Dude.. it's not a pick and select and walk away with the prize.. you have to SELL yourself... as in.. what are your best atrributes.... are you a handy man,are you a math whiz,can you fix computers rather than formatting and re installing the OS, what have you got that SHE might find attractive?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 121
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/21/2014 8:08:01 AM
It is NOT okay to get angry if after 2nd date one party disappears from radar


I won't call a woman a bunch of names because of the disappearing act. However I can get my point across without being a jerk. If a woman had expressed interest in going out on another date and suddenly ignores me when I had tried to finalize plans. Then I might send a text saying something like "It's okay if you changed your mind. But at least you could have told me instead of not returning my calls". Some of these women responded to this and apologized for not responding earlier. Then they would state "I'm taking a break from dating" or "I'm not completely over my ex" etc. I don't know if these reasons were true. But that wasn't the main point.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 122
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/21/2014 8:58:19 AM
LinuxD, thank you, that is sweet of you. The guys that I have dated or talked to are to cheap to buy dinner. They want to "hang out". I've talked to this one guy on another site, he met me in person by chance at Target, so he knows I'm not a catfish, but he absolutely cannot get himself to set up a date. I even told him straight up that I like him and that I would like to go out on a date. He gets wishywashy and claims that he doesn't plan things, he likes to be "spontaneous". I told him that I can't be "spontaneous", as I have a job, kids, and a life. Then he gets all pissy that I don't sit on standby until the mood strikes him to see me. WTF? He's an army officer, you'd think he has shit together, but he is just another big flake that I have met online.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 123
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/21/2014 11:20:17 AM
^^^ Sounds to me like he may not be fully representing who he is,as in he may be married of have a S.O. and he can't plan anything for fear of being busted.
Maybe I'm wrong....
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 124
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/22/2014 8:06:26 AM

Can anybody here give me some advice here? It has seemed to me that POF seems to be more geared towards girls...


- Relationships have always been geared towards women... they have the looks, and the knowledge (intuition), the main powers. They call it "women's intuition" for a reason. The internet had nothing to do with it... it's been this way since fire was invented!

Love and dating is a woman's world. Guys just go along for the ride! You should be so lucky! Too bad so sad!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 125
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/22/2014 12:48:51 PM

They call it "women's intuition" for a reason.


They USED to say that phrase a lot. I rarely hear it anymore.
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