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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is it me or is POF one-sided?      Home login  
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 Goldfishxyz
Joined: 6/7/2014
Msg: 126
Is it me or is POF one-sided?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I don't know if there's any definite proof that it's one-sided but you do see more men than women coming to the forums and asking why they can't get responses and most of the people requesting profile reviews are men. The women tend to come to the forums asking questions about relationships they're already in.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 127
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/22/2014 1:09:48 PM
Based on the results on tinder...the majority of women contact the top 10% of men. Online dating as your main avenue as a man is a big, big mistake. Even if you are gay/bi man that is still not a good idea IMO.

It is still a tool that can help but yes POF and all other dating sites/apps are one sided.

If you are not viewed the apex of socio-economy then you are already at a disadvantage. But it doesn't mean that you are stuck in a league because adult hood is the big league period. So. you can empower yourself to be a better man and that is why online dating is a waste for a man if that is your main avenue. Empowering yourself with real life endeavors is what attracts women.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 128
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/22/2014 9:45:42 PM

I won't call a woman a bunch of names because of the disappearing act. However I can get my point across without being a jerk. If a woman had expressed interest in going out on another date and suddenly ignores me when I had tried to finalize plans. Then I might send a text saying something like "It's okay if you changed your mind. But at least you could have told me instead of not returning my calls". Some of these women responded to this and apologized for not responding earlier. Then they would state "I'm taking a break from dating" or "I'm not completely over my ex" etc. I don't know if these reasons were true. But that wasn't the main point.


A lot of times, I'll pull the "You could have told me you were backing out BEFORE I avoided making plans for you". Every... single... time.... They INSTANTLY suddenly rediscover their phone and respond. Nothing like finding out you just weren't worth a response. And to the girls who in another thread accused me of beating women... THis is more realistic of what happens.

But something just doesn't click in the heads of girls who act like that. THey demand respect, yet refuse to give it. They expect to have this fairytale relationship, but can't even tell someone they're changing plans. How do they honestly expect themselves to function IN a relationship?
 not_single_x
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 129
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/24/2014 11:23:01 AM
Guys aren't selective enough. They send out tons of messages.

Women only send out a few.

Therefore women are a lot busier fielding messages and the guys are sitting there with empty inboxes.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 130
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/24/2014 11:41:03 AM

Guys aren't selective enough. They send out tons of messages.

Women only send out a few.

Therefore women are a lot busier fielding messages and the guys are sitting there with empty inboxes.


I think you've missed something obvious here. Guys don't have the luxury of being selective. They have to send a larger quantity of messages because a smaller percentage of them are returned.
 not_single_x
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 131
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/24/2014 11:48:18 AM

Coma_White: I think you've missed something obvious here. Guys don't have the luxury of being selective. They have to send a larger quantity of messages because a smaller percentage of them are returned.


No, I get that.

I was addressing the "what" I just didn't bother filling in the "why".

When I'm actively dating I do this whole carpet bombing campaign of messages, maybe 2 dozen, out of which I'd get maybe a 20% response rate.

Turns out that most of my success was with women who contacted me first.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 132
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/25/2014 1:28:56 PM
Is it wrong or naive of me to think that "carpet bombing campaign" and "dating" should never be in the same paragraph?
Cindy O
 The_Duke_of_POF
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 133
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/25/2014 2:56:29 PM
Online dating is great if you're a woman but it sucks if you're a guy.
 not_single_x
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 134
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/25/2014 4:57:27 PM

ladyc4 : Is it wrong or naive of me to think that "carpet bombing campaign" and "dating" should never be in the same paragraph?


Why not?

Dating isn't the same thing as an exclusive committed relationship.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 135
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 6/25/2014 7:40:05 PM
Turns out that most of my success was with women who contacted me first.


Agreed. The majority of dates I got were with women that contacted me first. That's because I am flexible with the women that showed interest in me. If there was some physical attraction and no obvious dealbreakers, I would give it a shot. Even though she might be somewhat different than my usual type.
 chocolategirl2
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 136
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 5:10:48 AM
Well I can understand why you have only gotten one message. Like whenever I sent a message to a guy I can't even get a conversation just one word answers or no response. So I choose not to message anymore I let the guy do so. So you not receiving a message is reasonable. You just gotta be more tactical about
What the message you send is. I like it when people read my profile and make a comment about one of my likes, or asks me more about it.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 137
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 10:09:17 AM
Agreed I've had better 'success' by simply responding to messages and not initiating. This solves 1 small part of the equation...is she interested in me as more then a friend? And what exactly do I mean by success?

Libido/Inbox is still less then 1, but getting closer as I age like a fine wine:)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 138
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 11:28:34 AM

Well I can understand why you have only gotten one message. Like whenever I sent a message to a guy I can't even get a conversation just one word answers or no response. So I choose not to message anymore I let the guy do so. So you not receiving a message is reasonable. You just gotta be more tactical about
What the message you send is. I like it when people read my profile and make a comment about one of my likes, or asks me more about it.


That's good advice, and it's better than saying "Hi, how are you?"
Unfortunately, sending messages about something in her profile usually results in a one word answer or no response.
Sometimes it's not a bad idea to message people with no pictures because they probably get less mail.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 139
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 11:36:06 AM

Sometimes it's not a bad idea to message people with no pictures because they probably get less mail.


HALLELUJAH !! and AMEN !!
 MasterOfReality84
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 140
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 2:18:30 PM
Yes it is one sided. I've received flirt messages and they state that this is flirt option just for women, there is no flirt option for men, so there's probably more background stuff favoring women on this site, not very surprising though, women are probably the ones spending more on here.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 141
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/17/2014 5:08:21 PM
"It has seemed to me that POF seems to be more geared towards girls because they seem to not have to do any searching because all the guys message them and they just have to read profiles and respond."


These "It's not fair threads" always amuse me!

I am pretty sure POF didn't design this site to favor women......


Unequal number of messages between genders with preceived attractiveness as a huge factor is just simply human nature.......nothing more nothing less!


But hey......it makes anyone feel better to stomp their feet.....then have at it! Lol



And with regards to this......


"Yes it is one sided. I've received flirt messages and they state that this is flirt option just for women, there is no flirt option for men, so there's probably more background stuff favoring women on this site, not very surprising though, women are probably the ones spending more on here."


If you seriously think that if POF gave men the flirt option it would "magically" increase the number of messages and dates you get......well.....you should probably change your screen name!

As a matter of fact, come on down to Orlando, Fl. I will take you to someplace you might feel right at home at! It is called Fantasyland at the Magic Kingdom! And I can even introduce you to a few of the Disney Princesses! Got a favorite? Lol Ok......just teasing you :)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 142
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/18/2014 10:55:54 AM

Unequal number of messages between genders with preceived attractiveness as a huge factor is just simply human nature.......nothing more nothing less!


That's exactly it. Women are more valuable than men by default. That's basic biology. Women have a much more limited reproductive ability. You might not be thinking about those things when you're dating, but we're driven by basic instincts and emotions and how men and women interact in public and on websites reflects that.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 143
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/18/2014 11:26:32 AM
What the message you send is. I like it when people read my profile and make a comment about one of my likes, or asks me more about it.


Sure he can do that. But when a woman doesn't like his photos or profile, he won't get a positive reply. Regardless of what he writes in his initial email. On the other hand, attractive men can send "How are you?" initial emails and still get some positive responses.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 144
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/18/2014 10:25:46 PM

That's exactly it. Women are more valuable than men by default.


Um, no. But thanks for perpetuating the myth.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 145
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/18/2014 11:14:26 PM
Nah...

My ability to commit, provide and protect trumps her ability to 'put out'
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 146
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/19/2014 10:49:49 AM

Um, no. But thanks for perpetuating the myth.


It's not a "myth", it's a fact. A woman's reproductive capability is extremely limited compared to a man's. It just sounds like you're in denial.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 147
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/19/2014 1:18:26 PM
Octomom being the exception, right?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 148
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/19/2014 1:28:20 PM

These "It's not fair threads" always amuse me!
I am pretty sure POF didn't design this site to favor women...


So I guess night clubs I've been to don't favor women either-the clubs where women get in for free and guys have to pay a cover charge. I suppose they do that because guys have too much money that have to get rid of and women are poor.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 149
Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/19/2014 1:33:54 PM
After several years, you do indeed become a product of your environment.

Love is a battlefield...

He didn't know the night would end up in frustration
He'd end up blowing all his wages for the week
All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek

Hahahahahhahaa
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 150
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Is it me or is POF one-sided?
Posted: 7/19/2014 1:38:33 PM

Octomom being the exception, right?


lol... octomom. Having eight kids in nine months is still a very small compared to a man's reproductive ability.


So I guess night clubs I've been to don't favor women either-the clubs where women get in for free and guys have to pay a cover charge. I suppose they do that because guys have too much money that have to get rid of and women are poor.


That's exactly it. I don't think I've ever seen "men's night: men get in free " anywhere around town.
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