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Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 20
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Dating a person who works third shiftPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I have worked 10 hour and 12 hour night shifts, seven nights a week, now that will mess with your dating. It's not easy to get off work in the morning and just go to bed right away, you usually need to wind down. Then you try to sleep all day, and boy does the world not conform to that!, then you have the evening open before work but mostly I was too tired to care about dating. If this is consist work hours then you might find someone who can fit into your time frames but if like where I worked, you are forever getting shifted around to different areas and different shifts, you just mostly go home and die until it's time to work.
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 21
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Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/1/2014 6:01:15 PM
It certainly makes relationships and dating a challenge, I've worked 12 hour night shifts for the 13 years and it has definitely taken a toll on my social life, most of my friends are shift workers too. There are people who are willing to adapt to your schedule and those that won't, but I've found it takes a little patience on both parts to make it work, if both are flexible it can work out.
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 22
Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/1/2014 8:03:38 PM
The problem when I've done it isnk't when they worked; it was that they were too tired to date when they weren't working. If you want to date a person, you have to actually see them sometime, but if their sleep schedule got messed up they'd crash on their days on and then they would try and regulate on their days off... so it became way more talking than actual seeing in person. And to me dating has to have some in person. I am up late, can talk at night so I was good company for them while working, but they were not good company for me when they weren't :)
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 23
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Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/2/2014 6:02:09 AM
Thing doesn't matter what shift a person works if they have the type of job that exhausts them on a daily basis.

..if you only have the energy to hang out and watch movies, or sit around a fire and chit-chat.....then you need to find the type of person that likes to do those things with you and not expect you to hit the clubs or anything "physical" on your time off.

I have found... if people are truly interested in each other, then they will always find time to see each other, and will be accommodating to each others "downtime" needs.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 24
Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/2/2014 10:28:32 AM
With no intent to disrespect anybody participating in this thread, I do think the presumption that shift work, traveling for work, or other situations where a couple are not on the exact same 9-5 ,5 day week schedule, is the kiss of death for dating and relationships, is UNFAIR to the millions of shift workers, on-duty/on-call workers, traveling workers, deployed service personnel, who do date, have relationships, marry and even parent.

I've dated shift workers- I've BEEN a shift worker. I know tons of young families where the couple intentionally work different shifts to minimize the need for child-care.

It's not just factory rats that work 2nd & 3rd's public safety personnel, medical personnel, it's the staffs of the stores, gas stations, etc that stay open 24/7. Tons of these folks date, have relationships, marry and have families.

Granted, it may be something of a challenge but it is not a barrier-unless to CHOOSE for it to be.
Cindy O
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 25
Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/2/2014 10:32:08 AM
I used to work graveyard and swing shifts for years, while I was still married, and it was hard on my marriage. I had to quit because my then-husband couldn't handle it. He was tired after coming home from his day job and I wasn't there to cater to his needs and take care of our son. I can't imagine how much harder dating would be with those hours. Sure, lots of people do it, it would be best to find someone who works similar shifts.
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 26
Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 6/2/2014 7:29:27 PM
Cindy is correct. No one can answer for everyone.

My examples were the people I have come across and tried to date who had shift work with odd hours The first worked 4 am to 3:30 pm and they were in bed by 8 and our entire dating was sitting at their house watching their reality tv shows crashing early and getting up at 3:30 am. No exceptions. Ever.

The second person worked 6 pm to 6 am and we saw each other literally three times over six week period in spite of the fact they considered themselves dating me, because their first day off was crashing and their second day off was regulating sleep and they lost all concept of time. So they literally never made time to do anything whatsoever, in or out. They just didn't have the energy with the very rare exception. In both cases, the style of dating just didn't work. The former because there was never ANY variation in place or activity and I didn't want to be acting like an 80 year old married couple the first month we were dating; and the latter because I actually like to have in person SOMETHING with a person who is supposedly dating me. I am not picking about what as long as there is SOME variation, but the never I had a problem with. Just different dating styles. They admitted they had had extreme difficulty figuring out how to date because they were wiped out; very stressful job and extremely messed up sleep. So we switched to plain old platonic friends, and that has worked out great. The other, not so much.

That does not represent every single person; it only represented 100% of the shift workers I came across and attempted to date.

It all depends on the person DOING the shift work; their personality, energy level and their desire for hands on datinig versus very occasional hanging out.

Different strokes for different folks.
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 27
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Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 7/21/2014 7:34:35 PM
Just a thought..............IF you work a Monday through Friday schedule (10pm to 6am), I would think that this is not so big of a problem (provided that you have the energy level to do it). Aside from the obvious (but not so easy to find) choice of a woman who also works 3rd shift; you just need to meet a woman who also works a traditional Monday through Friday/9am to 5pm shift (and, who has children and/or enough errands, responsibilities, friends, family, and/or interests) that keep her sufficiently busy Monday night through Friday night. Now, if you are NOT off on weekends, then I see you having a problem.

I have done this TWICE in the past 12 years (while working 3 jobs). In the most successful instance, we spent every Saturday (all day) and every Sunday (most of the day) together, and spoke on the telephone just about every night. She had a 'traditional' job, but worked long hours, plus she had a child. Worked perfectly for us.
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 28
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Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 7/22/2014 6:53:45 PM
I'm considering changing from days to weekend nights (3 12ves) to escape co-worker drama and to have the whole week off. I would miss having my Friday and Saturday nights free though. Don't think my bf would like it either.
Joined: 7/8/2013
Msg: 29
Dating a person who works third shift
Posted: 7/24/2014 4:14:21 AM
I work the 11-7 shifts 4-5 nights every week in a nursing home. I sleep 3-4 hours during daytime. No problem dating. Just problem attracting decent men for that matter.
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