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 AUTHOR
 the_big_bad_wolf
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 10
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
get ride of him!!!!!! an ex like that is bad news and who knows what hes telling her.. i know!!
been there done that the best thing is too stay away and if hes to much to let go then think of it as you deserve someone better! i dont now you guys but sounds like exacly what i went throuygh many times!! so let him go if he really likes you he'll come back and tell the other one in front of you.. to scram or he'll get someone to take care of her! and he will protect you .. if not dont waste your tears or time!!
 the_big_bad_wolf
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 11
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 8:20:57 AM
oh and sweetheart! hes got to be cheating.. thats what a women likes when her ex is with another women it makes her feel good when he runs back!
 the_big_bad_wolf
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 17
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 11:39:31 AM
stop being old fashion and maybye you will find a better man.. its now 2004 old fashon is out of style.. with all the men i now anyway so good luck.
 the_big_bad_wolf
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 19
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 11:42:48 AM
have you tryed an older sugar daddy? it might jjust take you out of your shell!
 ExplorerMedic
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 24
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 1:00:07 PM
It will be a very long time before I give my heart to someone again. I feel so stupid and wounded. I need a good cry. It’s my fault. I should have looked before I leapt. Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!

I believe some people seek relationship like shopping for cars--always keeping a spare in case of break downs. Some 'LAY A PERSON OUT RIGHT' for a NAME, PAY CHECK, or because they have an AXE TO GRIND and numerous other motivations that HAVE nothing to do with TRUE LOVE. Some SERVE TIME IN MARRIAGE as if it were jail time or self flagellation or trophy wall-hanger. Some seek a LICENSE from CLERGY or STATE as an INDULGENCE. The MOST important aspect of relationship, in my opinion, is TRUE CONNECTION OF SOUL based upon a common bIt will be a very long time before I give my heart to someone again. I feel so stupid and wounded. I need a good cry. It’s my fault. I should have looked before I leapt. Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!

I believe some people seek relationship like shopping for cars--always keeping a spare in case of break downs. Some 'LAY A PERSON OUT RIGHT' for a NAME, PAY CHECK, or because they have an AXE TO GRIND and numerous other motivations that HAVE nothing to do with TRUE LOVE. Some SERVE TIME IN MARRIAGE as if it were jail time or self flagellation or trophy wall-hanger. Some seek a LICENSE from CLERGY or STATE as an INDULGENCE. The MOST important aspect of relationship, in my opinion, is TRUE CONNECTION OF SOUL based upon a common belief in God through Christ, shared interests, hobbies, and goals-- BEST FRIENDS. ALLof that starts in our SOUL/IDENTITY. You yourself KNOW that you PURPOSED TO WRITE WELL AND SUCCEED before you ever wrote your first prose. You LIKEWISE did MUCH re-writing. RE-WRITE yourself. START OVER. One may NEVER Love without being VULNERABLE. It is OK to get BURNED-- that's how we learn. For a Christian STARTING OVER is as SIMPLE as making oneself a NEW VIRGIN through Christ, in my opinion. Like a MUSTARD SEED and in FAITH tossing BAGGAGE into the SEA. Anyone may do this. It is a FREE liberty and requires NO LICENSE from STATE or CLERGY.elief in God through Christ, shared interests, hobbies, and goals-- BEST FRIENDS. ALL of that starts in our SOUL/IDENTITY. You yourself KNOW that you PURPOSED TO WRITE WELL AND SUCCEED before you ever wrote your first prose. You LIKEWISE did MUCH re-writing. RE-WRITE yourself. START OVER. One may NEVER Love without being VULNERABLE. It is OK to get BURNED-- that's how we learn. For a Christian STARTING OVER is as SIMPLE as making oneself a NEW VIRGIN through Christ, in my opinion. Like a MUSTARD SEED and in FAITH tossing BAGGAGE into the SEA. Anyone may do this. It is a FREE liberty and requires NO LICENSE from STATE or CLERGY.
You have the CORRECT IDEA-- don't be any man's YO-YO if you seek TRUE LOVE. As a man I personally choose NOT to be anyone's YO-YO-- not a yo-yo for woman, man, or any unrighteous authority on the face of this earth no matter how much power or guns and knives they think they have.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 26
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 3:36:25 PM
I guess Don's Ex does not take NO for an answer, or Don never 'really' said NO. Or anything inbetween that looks a little gray.

This can happen after a few days, can happen years later.

Similar scenarios of other women/men moving in on one's partner even decades later are common stories.

None of this has anything to do with Old-fashioned.

One of the main purposes of the 'Caste' system is to prevent these kind of things.

Better you know now than later.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 28
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 3:52:12 PM
Taking your time has nothing to do with having your heart broken or not.

You cannot prevent that completely! Impossible!

In fact the longer you know someone, whether you have sex or not, usually the harder the fall, the more severe the disappointment.

That's the nature of dating. This is what often happens.

Do you think remaining a little more impersonal from Men, keeping your feelings within, in order to deter disappointment is going to better facilitate a relationship?

There is often some pain. You may very well be trying to prevent something that may not have been preventable in the first place.

The resolution to these kind of problems is getting resilient & tough. Expect it, and don't get yourself into a position where you feel hurt when it all goes to pot.

That way, you won't spend several months 'getting over it', but it becomes rather easy to move on and say: NEXT!!!
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 30
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 4:29:58 PM
Georgie, something I forgot to ask:

Should Don come back next week telling you he has severed all contact with his Ex, and he has fully resolved to be with you, would you not take him back?
 ExplorerMedic
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 33
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 5:40:45 PM
"The resolution to these kind of problems is getting resilient & tough. Expect it, and don't get yourself into a position where you feel hurt when it all goes to pot."

I do NOT think this is VIABLE advicefor those seeking the UNEXPLORED EXPANSE of TRUE LOVE, RIDE. Insulation is neither hot or cold. I believe it is GREAT advice for those seeking conditional and limited relationship terms. In my opinion for TRUE LOVE actualization as a couple we MUST be willing to be tender and RISK everything. Similarly we must be willing to BOUNCE BACK and MOVE ON when a relationship is UNFIXABLE. GL-- you should ask Don if he wants more than one wife ? My first inclination is to believe he wants polygamy. I know that can be OK if he can afford to keep you all and meet your needs, however, is it what you want ?
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 34
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 5:57:26 PM
Georgie, it is also possible that Don's 33 year marriage ending may have left him in a bit of a spin that may be preventing him from seeing things very clearly.

Possibly this lack of a clear view led him to Raymonde in the first place, who may be actively playing on his emotions that is causing his state of uncertainty & doubt.

Perhaps its not a trust issue after all, but one of common Human Frailty.

Adjucation of someone comes all too easy once you have been hurt. There is no hunger for explanations in times like these.

Might I recommend another, more constructive course of action?

Maybe not today, but in a few days, call up Don and ask him if he wishes to sever his ties with Raymonde? If so, what could you do to help him?

(Many wives have successfully gone to great length to cut the line between their husbands & another b*tch that was trying to move in on him, because she thought he was worth it)

Looking down one's nose is easy. Rolling up your sleeves and pitching in with some Help is only a task for the noble.

And isn't it true, when each no longer works at helping each other, a relationship will fall apart in due time?

Would you be going too far to butt your nose into his business?

Ask yourself this: "Is he worth it?"


Medic: resilient & tough = NOT ---> Insulation, nor hot or cold.
 ExplorerMedic
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 36
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 6:27:46 PM
10-4, RIDE. Thanks for the clarification, sir. You are prepared to RISK yet unwiling to remain INJURED when things go to pot.

GL-- I sensed you desired THE BEST TRUE LOVE may offer. I believe you should ask him. He may call his wives EMOTIONAL HELPMATE, FLING, WILD OATS, AFFAIR, or even MISTRESS... You are insightful-- ask. It's like suicide intervention or the 'white the elephant' in the room no one talks about. Broaching a subject will NOT make it real or make it happen-- it will only clarify.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 38
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 7:08:24 PM
Medic: Accept the fact there is an overhelming chance to get INJURED, and you won't have any problems letting yourself go completely. Just accept it!

Georgie: Often too many presumptions, too little in the way of solutions.

Always gotta leave to door open just a hair that all may not be lost, when there is no hard-core evidence to the contrary.

In the absense of any concrete answers, Time itself may become the main point of focus.

Should the matter not be resolved in a reasonable & acceptable framework of time, the line has to be cut when there is nothing further that can be done about it.
 ExplorerMedic
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 39
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/13/2004 8:21:07 PM
Now that I uderstand, RIDE ! JUST LET GO... HALO !!! Sure hope my 'chute opens Arrggghhh !!!!! SPLAT !!!
 dodge-and-burn
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 46
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/14/2004 6:14:05 PM

have you tryed an older sugar daddy?

Fuck you're hilarious, Wolfy.

No offence Georgie.

Wolfy, I don't think that people over 30 have Sugar Daddies. Surgar Daddies are for young girls like yourself. Which is why they're called Surgar Daddies, they're daddies that give you the surgar.
 dodge-and-burn
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 47
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/14/2004 6:25:33 PM
You know what Georgie, after a 30 year mariage, I wonder if 3 years being single is even enough time to heal. I think you're just like me, being nice and trying to understand the situation and giving him the benefit of the doubt, but you are almost dealing with a child from an emotional standpoint.

I broke up with my ex almost 2 years ago after being with her for over 5 years, and just now I'm seriously looking.

But like someone said, if you think he's worth it, then fight for him. But you may need to be a little aggressive enough so that he'll stay put. But then he's not staying put because of his own will. I think that he needs to learn to fend for himself.
 hk165
Joined: 11/14/2004
Msg: 56
Do I need to worry? Trouble in Paradise?
Posted: 11/16/2004 2:24:02 PM
Georgie,
I know that you are hurting but this guy is not worth the effort. If you have the slightest idea of him cheating that is a sign that he wont ever change. However i know what its like to find out the love of your life is cheating. It was the cause of my divorce. The way I got proof is by a little program called a Key stroke logger. There are programs that when installed on a computer will log and email all the keystrokes that has been done on the computer that its installed on. You can find one on downloads.com. Good luck, Bill
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