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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?      Home login  
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 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 526
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?Page 22 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
^^^^^ I know, right? I am sisappointed.
I got nothing to work with here.....no storyline at all. :(
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 527
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2015 2:27:48 AM
Perhaps that was the trial run on the subtle approach? Now that's been proven ineffective, can we expect a "shock and awe" post on the next attempt? :)
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 528
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2015 3:31:45 PM

Generally speaking, the older you are when you get married, the less likely you are to get a divorce.

The higher the level of your education, the less likely you are to get a divorce.

That's just the facts,



Well said.....but your advise might be like blowing in the wind with some of the certain folk’s mo's....unless you, me or they can make out the difference why it is.....

Nonetheless.....imo.....the best persons is when you don’t need help, want’s... etc's....as they are very happy, secure, etc...but love those who live,love, & explore on the same plane of freedom.....this is the best of life to share together & alone......
 WONOFME
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 529
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/20/2015 5:42:59 PM
Hi Becky;
Looking at your profile, I would be ready to marry you.
1) Seeing you are in the health field you could take care of me
2) you live in California which is a lot warmer than Quebec
LOL
Now a bit more serious.
When I got divorced (1990) I asked the lawyer how to avoid this problem in the future. Her , yes from a woman lawyer, response was quite simple - don't get married again. Now that is because in Quebec we have civil law which puts women and men on an equal footing. Or in other words what is yours is your and what is the SO's is theirs. Anything that was acquired together, like a house or bank accounts get split. Kids must be supported regardless of who has custody.
Getting back to your question, I would want to live with someone for at least a year before deciding if we wanted to get married, mainly for compatibility reasons. You don't know someone until you are with them for several weeks at a time. Do you want a crutch or do you want a mate and support each other.
Would I marry again? Yes but not after just one glass of wine.

Take care. There are still some good guys and gals out there. But you have to get to know them first.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 530
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/20/2015 6:45:05 PM

I would want to live with someone for at least a year before deciding if we wanted to get married, mainly for compatibility reasons.


I agree with the sentiment, but the first question is: Where? Assuming by this age, you're both settled with possibly your own homes and furnishings and other assets (and family roots), who is going to get uprooted to see if you two are compatible by living under one roof for a year-especially if it's with someone who doesn't live in the same area? It's easy for young people just out of school and starting on the journey to adult life to live with someone for a while to see if it works ,when they start out with nothing, but not so easy when trying to do it the second (or more) time around.

Another problem is a lot of older people are feeling the effects of Father Time breathing down their necks, so they're in a hurry to find a suitable partner a.s.a.p. and hitch up before their market value plummets to near zero. So they aren't likely to be willing to do any kind of year long test for compatibility.
 deepthoughtlighthumour
Joined: 2/15/2015
Msg: 531
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/21/2015 1:04:05 AM
(Just joining the conversation): What I think of marriage?

It's a fly trap. It's the eternal doom, defeat and despair. I've never seen a happy marriage where the man did not imagine himself with a thousand different women every week. So what's the point? The moment the youngest turns 21, by statutory compliance, all couples ought to be divorced.

I don't get this so-called "marriage" thing. This is only made to torture people. I'm not saying everyone is married to the wrong person for them; I'm saying there is no "right" person for anyone. Can't be. No way.

That said, my brother is happy with his wife in their 40-year long marriage, dad was happy with mom until she predeceased him, and my best friend is happy with his wife who has given him 5 children, in a span of 20 years. All six have appeared to be happy, but both people in each of these couples constantly bicker with the other, and my brother complains to me about his wife almost incessantly. He is totally under her spell, and I don't think she even realizes it. Then again, my brother tends to make others walk on eggshells around him, so a fiery, strong-willed woman is a good counter-balance to his personality.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 532
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/21/2015 7:02:07 PM


Another problem is a lot of older people are feeling the effects of Father Time breathing down their necks, so they're in a hurry to find a suitable partner a.s.a.p. and hitch up before their market value plummets to near zero.


You got this right!

I've had some fun 5-6 date wonders with a few older gals that were quick to ask when my lease ended and what they could offer me in a cohabiting situation.

I believe there time life is more valuable then mine, and didn't waste it any further.

Also, as hard as 1 year sounds to some, I say 2.

Of course, I'll lower that to 1 in 15 years :)
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 533
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/21/2015 7:27:37 PM
^^^
Meant to say, their time left is more valuable then mine.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 534
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 3/28/2015 3:15:33 PM
Have not and will not live with a man without marriage unless he is related to me. Has worked so far.
People do get married at 60 and above. Met one couple who met at 60 were married two years later and one died twenty years later, with the other holding her hand.
It happens.
 65Silver65
Joined: 5/25/2015
Msg: 539
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 1:11:55 PM
Men over 60 do not think about marriage. Most have been burned by community property laws to the point of never forgetting. You also max out SS payments if your single. One can draw survivor benefits in the case of a passing spouse and keep a new man or woman.

Passing money along to kids can be the combination of asset to buy a life insurance policy to deal out what you want to the kids tax free. Marriage is not a requirement.

dating how long before marriage: 200 years or more.

It is required to live together if the entent was to stay that way.

Full disclosure is always best. Staying together has nothing to do with a legal document. It is all about the people envolved.
A family is never required to accept my decisions. The family has no position voice an opinion .

When two people choose one another those are the only opinion needed. Seeking approval of others always confuses an issue.
 65Silver65
Joined: 5/25/2015
Msg: 540
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 1:15:25 PM
Would have to commend you in the steadfast position on not living with a man unless married.

Wishing you great joy in your continued life as a single woman.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 541
view profile
History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:23:12 PM
Men over 60 do not think about marriage. "

So what makes you think most women don't feel the same way???

"Most have been burned by community property laws to the point of never forgetting. "

And those of us widowed shake our heads and know we don't want to date a bitter person, while still not wanting a live in.

"Seeking approval of others always confuses an issue."

Seriously??? I have not sort approval since high school for any issue let alone the issue of how I live my life.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 542
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:29:20 PM

Men over 60 do not think about marriage. Most have been burned by community property laws to the point of never forgetting. You also max out SS payments if your single. One can draw survivor benefits in the case of a passing spouse and keep a new man or woman.

Passing money along to kids can be the combination of asset to buy a life insurance policy to deal out what you want to the kids tax free. Marriage is not a requirement.

dating how long before marriage: 200 years or more.

It is required to live together if the entent was to stay that way.

Full disclosure is always best. Staying together has nothing to do with a legal document. It is all about the people envolved.
A family is never required to accept my decisions. The family has no position voice an opinion .

When two people choose one another those are the only opinion needed. Seeking approval of others always confuses an issue.


Wow--nice assumptions there--maybe the woman has more money that you so then your whole theory of not getting married just had major holes blown in it!

One thing that really bothers me is this conception that men have that they were wronged by community property laws --after some woman has spent their life (giving up her career) to raise the family. I have had so many men after 20 years of marriage talk about how bitter they are and so I ask --how are you kids--all college graduates and successfully employed-none ever have had troublesome kids, then I ask how was their home and they all admit it was spotless and what an outstanding job the wife did of making their house a loving home for their family. Then I ask where they met--in college and she quit her job shortly after they got married and she became pregnant...but they were both on a good career track. Now 20 years later --he is making so much more money than her having to start over at an older age yet ****ing that he has to share what he feels is just his cause he worked and she didn't...It will take her 20 years to get to where they are now if she can find a company willing to give her a chance. Yet more tellingly if I ask if they would have given up their career to raise the family --they are all quick to say never would have happened--so selfish to begrudge someone who for the love of the family lost out on so much.

BTW I made more than my ex's so none of this applies to me.

BTW talk to those who were living together and had one of them get sick and have the kids come in and put the person in a home and then the kids kick the other person out of the home. Had a friend who was living with a great lady and she was killed while out for a walk...as soon as the funeral was over her relatives threw him out of the home they had and put it up for sale....the home he had spent all his time, effort and money fixing up for her....see where a marriage could have helped!
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 543
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 4:17:58 PM
Given the fact that women tend to live longer than men it stands to reason that the female will probably care for the male should one get sick. Therefore it takes a special kind of female to want to marry an older man. I respect that.

There is this thing however called the dignity trap. Unless one person has no real house it is hard to combine houses, at this time in life. One persons identity will collect dust in the other persons house with your stuff slowly fading into oblivion or visa versa. i would love to be in a committed relationship but the thought of leaving here to live somewhere else is not in my plans.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 544
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/17/2015 5:13:59 PM

There is this thing however called the dignity trap. Unless one person has no real house it is hard to combine houses, at this time in life.


A solution could be to have both parties sell their homes and get a new marital home together. I've seen that happen, but that takes total trust in each other, which is sometimes not achievable because of being financially burned in the past and never mentally fully recovering from it, no matter how long ago it happened. There will always be some mistrust. That's why I've seen a lot of posts from older people who say that they will never sell their house, even if they meet a new love in their life, because they want to make sure that their kids will inherit their house and assets, and wouldn't trust a new love in their life to carry out their wishes, should it ever come down to that. It's ironic, because everybody says a cornerstone to a good relationship is trust, but that trust is in small doses if a person had a failed relationship in the past.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 545
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/22/2015 6:39:40 AM

Men over 60 do not think about marriage.

WRONG! somedon't & some do. Please don't paint all w/ the same brush!


Most have been burned by community property laws to the point of never forgetting. You also max out SS payments if your single. One can draw survivor benefits in the case of a passing spouse and keep a new man or woman.
And some have been widowed


Wow--nice assumptions there--maybe the woman has more money that you so then your whole theory of not getting married just had major holes blown in it!
I concur


One thing that really bothers me is this conception that men have that they were wronged by community property laws --after some woman has spent their life (giving up her career) to raise the family. I have had so many men after 20 years of marriage talk about how bitter they are and so I ask --how are you kids--all college graduates and successfully employed-none ever have had troublesome kids, then I ask how was their home and they all admit it was spotless and what an outstanding job the wife did of making their house a loving home for their family. Then I ask where they met--in college and she quit her job shortly after they got married and she became pregnant...but they were both on a good career track. Now 20 years later --he is making so much more money than her having to start over at an older age yet ****ing that he has to share what he feels is just his cause he worked and she didn't...It will take her 20 years to get to where they are now if she can find a company willing to give her a chance. Yet more tellingly if I ask if they would have given up their career to raise the family --they are all quick to say never would have happened--so selfish to begrudge someone who for the love of the family lost out on so much.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 546
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/22/2015 5:09:32 PM
I got divorced after twenty some years of marriage and was quite content to give up one half of our community assets which I had earned because she had stayed home to raise our children. Frankly, it was worth it to free myself from her!

What troubles now me is that some judges are awarding non working wives considerably more than the one half they are due, at least in some community property states.

Beyond that I believe it would be foolhardy to remarry without an unquestionably enforceable prenup.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 547
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/22/2015 6:59:52 PM
^^^
I once met a gal that was receiving $9K in alimony monthly. No children either. She was stressed at the taxes she had to pay on the alimony.

I told her she better pray her ex stays healthy...

My name is Steve and I'm proud of the alimony I've paid in the past!

Them wives did my dirty laundry and cooked some fine meals.

Seriously...I'm one of the few divorced men I know that made it this far in life relatively unscathed.

One gal told me her strategy, here in Cali anyway, was to enter a civil union for 10 years and only consider marriage after that.

Interesting. I thought that civil partnership thingy was reserved for same sex couples?
 Brave_one
Joined: 6/26/2015
Msg: 548
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/23/2015 3:35:49 PM

And some have been widowed


and a ,‘’Merry widow,’’ still knows best...lol



Them wives did my dirty laundry and cooked some fine meals.


lol my son is a stay at home Dad.....as the 21st Century has arrive....but I did give them as a gift ,free dipper service till the young one is trained....

hope that helps Clooney in fair play
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 549
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/23/2015 3:46:03 PM

...free dipper service till the young one is trained....


Is that the Big Dipper or Little Dipper?
 Brave_one
Joined: 6/26/2015
Msg: 550
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 8/24/2015 4:39:29 PM

Is that the Big Dipper or Little Dipper?


lol Well, if the little tot eats whole food, it will be the,'' little dipper''...and if he eats well something a little less solid...& loose, it will be the,'' big dipper....''

And thanks for getting my diaper's on the right way. lol.....as I did that too with my 2 boys in the 20th century jsyk... M
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