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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?      Home login  
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 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 101
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?Page 5 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
IMO we already settled the issue, you legally isolated your assets so no one can touch them, so any further discussion is beating the issue to death. But you can't force everyone to want to emulate your actions, other people have different circumstances and other priorities in life.


Not trying to force anyone to do anything. Also just because you have read what I have to say doesn't mean others can not benefit from it.
Look at mjinict she seems to think a prenuptial agreement and will is enough. Sadly that is not so.

As far as not finding dates I have not had that problem nor have I seen anyone I know IRL having that trouble.

I have stopped using the net to date as to many were not what their profiles claimed.

People gaining actual knowledge and wisdom from others is never a waste of time I have learned much from these pages and the people here.

As far as not worrying about these things as we get older I don't agree we should be more worried and should be much more cautious. We now have no time to recoup these losses should a divorce happen.

I'm sorry if you don't like my posts however you are free to ignore them.

Lagoodguy you are dead on.


Why in so many threads women keep saying that they don't care for the money the men have and they are not after the money. While so many men talk about how much they lost when the women they fell in love before took them to the cleaners later when they started to talk about the divorce. If women didn't take half of what a men has men wouldn't be worried about it or talking about it so much. Before anyone gets married and men in particular they should spend one week in divorce court and watch real life... It would be a huge eye opener for everyone, Men and women.


Yes it would!
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 102
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 9:48:29 AM
Well....I was the woman with a few bucks..when I met my 2nd man....We were together 17 years...never legally married.
He had nothing..lived in a R.V....didn't even have a license...had it revoked after his...2nd impaired charge.
Quite the catch eh?
I had two teenage daughters...he had no children...he had never been married.
You know....I never thought once about money or questioned his devotion and sincerity....I trusted/loved him.
A few of my brothers assumed he was just a gold digger....they soon changed their minds.

He worked hard...contributed to the fianances...raised my children...respected/loved me and them.
He never drank ever again....was a good decent person. We worked together side by side...He started a business(with his dad)..my name was not on it(in case it failed)...but I worked for free and supported him...through the years of no money coming in from the business. Oh yes, eventually it made money.
Now....In my will...He got it all...as a husband should and it was likewise with his will....my kids knew that and respected/loved him and never once questioned it should all go to them.. I never doubted for a minute he would act or revise his will for them.
What a kick in the face it would have been if....I treated him less than what he was.
I don't know if it was blind trust or luck...!!

There is always another side of the coin....people!
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 103
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 10:29:22 AM

Now....In my will...He got it all...as a husband should and it was likewise with his will....my kids knew that and respected/loved him and never once questioned it should all go to them.. I never doubted for a minute he would act or revise his will for them.
What a kick in the face it would have been if....I treated him less than what he was.
I don't know if it was blind trust or luck...!!


That is great it is what you wanted.

Why is it okay for you to be able to date/live together/marry the way you want to but not okay for myself and others to be able to do the same on our terms?

What is so wrong with wanting to retain assets that you work for, or to leave them to your own children when your life here is over?
Shouldn't a person of our age been able to save and build assets?
Shouldn't a person be able to decide for themselves if they want to marry or not?
Why does the government feel the need to deem someone married that has no desire to do so?

Because it makes it easier to redistribute wealth. Sorry but seeing as I am the one that acquired my wealth I'll be the one deciding where it goes.

It is not about love or trust it is simply about my choice. My children have been in my life longer than any partner I've ever had shouldn't they be rewarded for their loyalty?

I think so.
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 104
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 10:58:34 AM
Good Grief!
As DB said...It's been said to death....You do what you want but just because others don't live their life...all about the almighty dollar and have issues with "trusting and loving another".....don't feel we need to be educated on how to hide the money.


My children have been in my life longer than any partner I've ever had shouldn't they be rewarded for their loyalty?

We all love our kids...duh!! I hope you have taught them life is more than about money...
If not....2 words...Menendez Brothers.....
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 105
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 11:00:19 AM

In fact, prenups get blown up regularly, says Michelle Smith, CDFA, of Smith Financial Strategies Group in New York. “Judges are the ones who make the final rulings. And they are human beings, just like everyone else. They are reading the faces in the room, and body language. They are thinking, ‘Does this smell fair?’


So what is the way of someone protecting their assets and money they earned or inherited beforehand if a pre-nup can be tossed aside and considered useless, just because a judge feels like it? If both parties sign a pre-nup, agreeing to specific terms of distribution of assets and money upon divorce, how is this any less valid than any other legal document? Is the only safe way the Tsar way, where you sign over everything to other family members, so that you have nothing in your name before getting into any relationship and being penniless on paper? So should every relationship be built on mistrust and deception? That's not what I would want.

But come to think of it, there might be some truth to this. The divorce cases of the rich and famous are always in the news, where someone who is worth millions married a "commoner" who was worth next to nothing before meeting Ritchie Rich, and the "commoner" is after half of the estate during a divorce, resulting in a huge legal battle. You would think any rich person would demand a pre-nup before marrying a person who has no or little wealth. But it seems like many are successful in getting a lot more than what's originally offered by the rich person, even though a huge portion of the "winnings" go to the divorce lawyers.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 106
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 12:15:10 PM
So should every relationship be built on mistrust and deception? That's not what I would want.


Not what I would want either, but that seems to be the "POF way". Nobody owes anybody anything.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 107
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/27/2014 9:32:18 PM
Some posters remind me of Odysseus, who sailed past the Sirens by being tightly bound to the mast, his men blocking their ears with wax

The sirens were dangerous yet beautiful creatures, portrayed as sexy female sea nymphs who lured nearby sailors with their bewitching song to shipwreck on the coast of their island

So it seems even 2000 years ago, men have been trying to protect themselves from femme fatales.

So what's the deal? Don't men trust themelves to just don't get married? Problem solved, just say no.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 108
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/29/2014 7:09:52 PM

In fact, prenups get blown up regularly, says Michelle Smith, CDFA, of Smith Financial Strategies Group in New York. “Judges are the ones who make the final rulings. And they are human beings, just like everyone else. They are reading the faces in the room, and body language. They are thinking, ‘Does this smell fair?’ Blanket complete waivers aren’t viewed as fair. Did the partner have adequate legal representation? Were the issues thought about, negotiated, discussed, disclosed? The judges look for financial disclosure, and the lack of it. They weigh any appearance that you were trying to mislead, which will taint the entire document as disreputable. Consider this: Anytime there is nondisclosure, there is a 50/50 shot it gets thrown out. All the more reason you want to not only disclose, but over-disclose.”

http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/law/advice/can-i-break-this-prenup.aspx?artid=890

This is why. Wills can also be disregarded as well. I'm not taking the chance.


You're not taking a chance because you're thinking of yourself first? I'm curious, what do you think you should give to a relationship? Is it all about you first?

"Gabrielle Clemens, CDFA and vice president of wealth management at Citi/Smith Barney in Boston, points out that the judicial system takes into account such descrepancies even after the document was signed by both spouses. “Judges believe in a thing called ‘equity powers’,” explains Clemens. “You can write in anything you want, but sometimes a judge will throw out a clause that he feels is inequitable. In fact, judges can be inconsistent. Depending on the day, the weather, or the judge’s own life experience, he can ignore, or disregard any provision.” "

This is what I don't get. People read "prenups get blown up regularly," and think ALL prenups get invalidated. Or they think one-sided, they didn't get what was fair, and some how the other side got more.
I think people who feel this way, are only thinking of themselves. Do they understand "equitable"? Equitable means what is fair and what is right. Give credit to the judges who really are doing what is fair and right.

"The most common prenup-buster is the failure to disclose an asset prior to signing. Whether the item was overlooked, or the exclusion was deliberate, the revelation can void the whole document, which means all the other provisions can be revisited as well. “Both you and your future spouse have a fiduciary responsibility to bring all of this forward,” explains Susan Campbell, a CDFA, and principal with Buena Vista Financial Resources in San Francisco. After all, the goal is to make informed decisions about your future.” "

Or maybe during marriage, one thinks "all I make is mine and I'll hide some away". Is this one area where trust get's broken if you're not honest, and "love" begins to feel one-sided?

We all say it takes effort to make a good relationship. Relationships break, whether it's marriage or not, when one party begins to think the other party isn't giving fairly into the relationship or marriage. This has a whole lot of meanings.

Not what I would want either, but that seems to be the "POF way". Nobody owes anybody anything.

Exactly. It's not just intimate relationships, it's the whole life thing. It's an attitude. A crummy attitude. This is where I find out whether I'm compatible with another person. Are they only in it for themselves, or does the potential partner truly become the kind of partner you want for the rest of your life.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 109
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/30/2014 5:00:32 PM

You're not taking a chance because you're thinking of yourself first? I'm curious, what do you think you should give to a relationship? Is it all about you first?


Funny thing is in each of my marriages my wives had access to both my business and personal accounts, yet I didn't have access to theirs.

They drove a new car and traded anytime they wanted. Most times more than once a year. I paid all the bills save the house electric which was never more than 300 a month. And I normally gave them more than that in extra spending money a month.

So please tell me how not wanting to continue to support them after the marriages ended is thinking of myself first?

I always gave more than I should in my relationships. However let me remind you a divorce is the end of the relationship. So why do I owe them anything that is mine if the relationship is over?

I never have understood why one person is expected to pay another for a relationship that is over.



So what's the deal? Don't men trust themelves to just don't get married? Problem solved, just say no.


Of course I do however there are other laws and entrapments to consider some states and or local laws if you leave someone in your home alone they can claim they live there and you have to then legally evict them.

Its not being all about yourself or being greedy. It is about taking care of yourself and your children.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 110
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/30/2014 6:47:37 PM

"You're not taking a chance because you're thinking of yourself first? I'm curious, what do you think you should give to a relationship? Is it all about you first?"

Funny thing is in each of my marriages my wives had access to both my business and personal accounts, yet I didn't have access to theirs.

They drove a new car and traded anytime they wanted. Most times more than once a year. I paid all the bills save the house electric which was never more than 300 a month. And I normally gave them more than that in extra spending money a month.

So please tell me how not wanting to continue to support them after the marriages ended is thinking of myself first?

I always gave more than I should in my relationships. However let me remind you a divorce is the end of the relationship. So why do I owe them anything that is mine if the relationship is over?

I never have understood why one person is expected to pay another for a relationship that is over.

In each of your marriages you gave your wives access to your accounts. This was by your choice, yes? The reason was because you loved them, yes? And at the time, this was your wish?

You don’t understand why you might have to pay another after the relationship is over. In my State, Calif, that would only be the case if 1) there were minor children, or 2) one, usually the man, made significantly more income during the whole length of the marriage, and the judge was awarding half of the assets and income from during the marriage. I don’t know of any law here which says ‘one person has to pay’. It’s about being equitable.

When I said “what do you think you should give to a relationship”, I was asking about a future relationship. Not your past marriages.

It sense you may be bitter about your past. If I were to date you, and figured this out, this would be a red flag about proceeding with a new relationship. Being disgruntled is no way to start a new relationship. And if you don't want one, that's your choice.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 111
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/30/2014 8:58:48 PM

one, usually the man, made significantly more income during the whole length of the marriage, and the judge was awarding half of the assets and income from during the marriage. I don’t know of any law here which says ‘one person has to pay’. It’s about being equitable.


See this is where I differ from most here and it is not because of my past marriages. I see it as common sense. Yes I made more than either of my ex's.
They had full access to not only my accounts but my time and attention. While we were married..... The way I see it is if they want to go fine but I'm not giving half or more of my assets to someone that is no longer in a relationship with me.
That is why I see it as paying someone they didn't earn it they did profit from it while we were married but not interested in paying them once it is over.



When I said “what do you think you should give to a relationship”, I was asking about a future relationship. Not your past marriages.


The same I gave in all my relationships everything I have mind body and soul as well as worldly possessions I'm just not going to allow someone to just walk away with them should the relationship end.



It sense you may be bitter about your past. If I were to date you, and figured this out, this would be a red flag about proceeding with a new relationship. Being disgruntled is no way to start a new relationship. And if you don't want one, that's your choice.


Well your sensors need recalibrating. Not bitter at all just very aware of how things work and how to protect myself and my children.

If it is as so many ladies here claim and they don't need material things from men then why is the way I do things a problem?

See I have removed all the chance for material gain in a marriage so it would really only be about love.

Again I would offer all I have for the right lady and the right relationship as long as there is a relationship.

Sorry if that upsets you it is how I choose to live and life has truly never been better.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 112
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Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/30/2014 9:31:54 PM


That is why I see it as paying someone they didn't earn it they did profit from it while we were married but not interested in paying them once it is over.

You had money and assets. And yet multiple marriages that ended in failure. Why was this? I wish we could hear the woman's side.
Why do you view this as "they didn't earn it". I kind of see this as one-sided. For example, a typical 20-30 year marriage, the woman is primary caregiver to raising the kids, takes them to all sorts of youth activities, keeps the home maintained, cleans, and the couple has lots of family friends together... real partnerships. But then the selfish attitude pops out, "she didn't earn it". Let's be honest. She probably did as much work around the house as you did out of the house, raised the kids... and something happened. No longer the perfect marriage. No longer two people in love with each other to the end of their days. There are couples who do make it to the end of their days. What happened with you?


See I have removed all the chance for material gain in a marriage so it would really only be about love.

What is this "only about love"??? You want a woman to meet you occasionally for sex. Is this what you call lovemaking? All according to your terms. You give money/things because you can buy affection.
Just how many women do you think will agree with you... only about love? Are you serious?
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 113
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 6/30/2014 10:15:03 PM
You had money and assets. And yet multiple marriages that ended in failure. Why was this? I wish we could hear the woman's side.
Why do you view this as "they didn't earn it". I kind of see this as one-sided. For example, a typical 20-30 year marriage, the woman is primary caregiver to raising the kids, takes them to all sorts of youth activities, keeps the home maintained, cleans, and the couple has lots of family friends together... real partnerships. But then the selfish attitude pops out, "she didn't earn it". Let's be honest. She probably did as much work around the house as you did out of the house, raised the kids... and something happened. No longer the perfect marriage. No longer two people in love with each other to the end of their days. There are couples who do make it to the end of their days. What happened with you?



“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”


? Socrates


This is not about my marriages it is about marriage in general.
However my first wife turned out to be bipolar. She not only walked away from me but our daughter as well never paid a dime of child support.

My second wife and I had no children together. And I done most of the house work. She decided to cheat and left her cheating allowed me to use the divorce law in Georgia to file adultery charges against her. She didn't want a public trial. So she agreed to my terms.

Now I live in Florida the laws are different and I wanted a way to protect myself and my children from as many problems as I could.

What happened to me well in both marriages I made mistakes we all do we are human. However I never walked away. And I sure didn't try and walk away with half of what they earned during the marriage.


What is this "only about love"??? You want a woman to meet you occasionally for sex. Is this what you call lovemaking? All according to your terms. You give money/things because you can buy affection.
Just how many women do you think will agree with you... only about love? Are you serious?


Exactly where did I say I wanted a woman to meet me for sex?

Never have I tried to buy affection my precautions take that out of the equation.
I do just fine in my dating in real life. And if I ever meet a lady I deem worthy of spending the rest of my life with I would marry most likely in a ceremony without a state marriage license.

The commitment would be the same just no contract with the state.
You seem to have so much venom toward the way I choose to live my life. Funny that you do as I hold no judgment for the way you choose to live yours.

You seem to think I'm mistreating the women i date.....why is that? I am truthful with them and could have been married a few times if I had wanted to and yes they knew very well that my assets would go to my children and that they would not gain assets by marrying me.

Instead of attacking me debate the topic it was you that asked for our thoughts on marriage.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 114
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 12:09:45 AM

What is this "only about love"??? You want a woman to meet you occasionally for sex. Is this what you call lovemaking? All according to your terms. You give money/things because you can buy affection.
Just how many women do you think will agree with you... only about love? Are you serious?

Exactly where did I say I wanted a woman to meet me for sex?

You said "so it would really only be about love. " I'm just curious what you're defining as "only about love".
For me... if one strips out just about everything else, it kind of becomes obvious the guy 'who wants a relationship', wants nothing more than a lover, until he wanders to the next one.


The commitment would be the same just no contract with the state.

How do you prove your commitment? Just curious.
Tsar... this thread is all about just trying to understand each other. I'll admit I've had way to many contacts or dates over time, where I felt on the first date, all the guy was interested in, was sex. There is something in the genetics.

I'm sure I don't understand you. Both of your wifes "walked away". All I can think, there's more to this story... the other side. I'm not going to find out here, but the conversation is food for thought.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 115
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 3:55:41 AM

You said "so it would really only be about love. " I'm just curious what you're defining as "only about love".
For me... if one strips out just about everything else, it kind of becomes obvious the guy 'who wants a relationship', wants nothing more than a lover, until he wanders to the next one.


Only about love because there is not a built in way for either to gain financially. Each person is choosing to put the other first by staying together. At the same time each much work for themselves so a sense of individuality is retained.

That you interpret what I said as meaning I want nothing more than sex wandering from lady to lady.....well that says more about you than me.


How do you prove your commitment? Just curious.
Tsar... this thread is all about just trying to understand each other. I'll admit I've had way to many contacts or dates over time, where I felt on the first date, all the guy was interested in, was sex. There is something in the genetics.

I'm sure I don't understand you. Both of your wifes "walked away". All I can think, there's more to this story... the other side. I'm not going to find out here, but the conversation is food for thought.


I prove my commitment by actually staying with the person. The same way anyone that actually loves someone does.

No you don't understand me you are not even trying .......you are listening to respond not to understand.

You are trying to place blame not trying to understand that what I'm saying harms not one but actually makes each person responsible for themselves as well as to each other.

Again you asked for our thoughts or did you just want people to agree with your vision of marriage?

As I said I don't judge you because you are seeking marriage why do you castigate my search for actual love and not just common wholesale marriage as the state defines it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 116
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 6:23:17 AM

But then the selfish attitude pops out, "she didn't earn it". Let's be honest. She probably did as much work around the house as you did out of the house, raised the kids...


In your next marriage, what you should do is negotiate a salary expectation for doing housework and raising kids (if applicable), put in a time clock where you clock in and out whenever you do something around the home or with the kids, so that you have a hard core number to prove how you earned your salary. Your partner should do the same thing, which would include time spent at work earning a salary to pay the bills and maintain a certain lifestyle, then compare spreadsheets at regular intervals to see who did more, then come up with a strategy where all of the work is split exactly 50/50. Otherwise, anybody can claim that they do the majority of the work at home, and there's no way of proving it right or wrong.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 117
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 9:15:52 AM

In your next marriage, what you should do is negotiate a salary expectation for doing housework and raising kids (if applicable), put in a time clock where you clock in and out whenever you do something around the home or with the kids, so that you have a hard core number to prove how you earned your salary. Your partner should do the same thing, which would include time spent at work earning a salary to pay the bills and maintain a certain lifestyle, then compare spreadsheets at regular intervals to see who did more, then come up with a strategy where all of the work is split exactly 50/50. Otherwise, anybody can claim that they do the majority of the work at home, and there's no way of proving it right or wrong.

You're being ridiculous.

Even in a business partnership, partners are suppose to give all to the business... unless they decide up front one is part time, or one is the financial partner and the other is the working partner, that sort of thing. And when it ends, it gets divided equally, unless otherwise agreed to in advance.

I just spent some hours with some long time lady friends, and we talked about the subject of what older men "expect" (even a younger woman chipped in). The whole issue of men thinking they contribute more to a marriage (or relationship) came up. I listened, I wasn't the lead once the conversation got started. Let me tell you, women are not happy with the kinds of men who think "they earned more, and it's theirs". There are a lot of happy women out there who won't take this attitude. So this is how life goes. No one is going to solve anything here on this thread.

All I'm thinking, is when two people become a relationship/marriage, they both have to "give". They have to give more than they think they'll receive. And they have to make the other person fell like they're the most important person in the world. And be their best friend.
And a person's attitude will either make it succeed.. or fail.

And I think this is perhaps why a lot of 2nd marriages fail. One or both parties don't exhibit true commitment, they don't give, they see themselves from their side only, they have crummy attitudes, and often they don't know how to tolerate a lot of things in life, including learning to live with someone new.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 118
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 9:29:14 AM

Even in a business partnership, partners are suppose to give all to the business... unless they decide up front one is part time, or one is the financial partner and the other is the working partner, that sort of thing. And when it ends, it gets divided equally, unless otherwise agreed to in advance.


Oh you mean making a plan before the marriage so you know how the split is going to be and both know beforehand what they risk/expect in a breakup. Dang wish I had thought of that.
You do realize you just justified my outlook on marriage right. So if it works for business contracts why not marriage contracts?
 pd481
Joined: 4/15/2010
Msg: 119
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History
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 11:53:42 AM
Before having lengthy discussions with the OP - read her history. From 6/8, below is one of her posts.

"The guy I dated... maintained a couple of draft horses on some acreage. They're not inexpensive. Beautiful animals though. He was divorced, I'm sure there was equity split. He didn't tell me, but I found out he had cancer. That drains the assets. What was I to do?, his place was in foreclosure, I felt really sorry for him. But unfortunately, you can't build a new relationship when this sort of baggage exists.
He stopped contacting me and I think he realized it wouldn't work. And I too drifted away.
I'm sorry to be the one here to say it. But there are some available guys who have enough, that romantic getaway's don't drain them. They're more likely on Match.com or other subscription sites."
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 120
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 12:33:15 PM

Before having lengthy discussions with the OP - read her history. From 6/8, below is one of her posts.

"The guy I dated... maintained a couple of draft horses on some acreage. They're not inexpensive. Beautiful animals though. He was divorced, I'm sure there was equity split. He didn't tell me, but I found out he had cancer. That drains the assets. What was I to do?, his place was in foreclosure, I felt really sorry for him. But unfortunately, you can't build a new relationship when this sort of baggage exists.
He stopped contacting me and I think he realized it wouldn't work. And I too drifted away.
I'm sorry to be the one here to say it. But there are some available guys who have enough, that romantic getaway's don't drain them. They're more likely on Match.com or other subscription sites."


And here is a perfect example of why I have put the protection measures I have in place. Thank you pd481 for finding this it is a text book example of why everyone should protect their assets if they are going to marry late in life. Op you asked how I showed my commitment...... is this how you do it?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 121
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 12:54:11 PM
^^^

Ouch, that type of posting history is going to leave a mark.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 122
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Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 3:43:21 PM

And here is a perfect example of why I have put the protection measures I have in place. Thank you pd481 for finding this it is a text book example of why everyone should protect their assets if they are going to marry late in life. Op you asked how I showed my commitment...... is this how you do it?

You certainly take things out of context. My story of the 'draft horse' guy was in a line of discussion about why I do research, internet research, on someone I date. Has nothing to do with "protection measures". This draft horse guy fizzled really soon, and it was 3 years ago. Most of what I know about him, I found through the net, mentioned in some news articles.
Maybe I misread your comment, but are you saying I should have committed to this loser? Gaud!

And the last comment was about comparing guys who turn out to be strapped for money, vs. those who've built up some equity. You'd be surprised how many guys are on these free dating sites, who build quite a nice profile, and when you start to get to know them, they're struggling with a job, or living only on social security, can't afford travel. I've had some impressive dinner dates, and then when I went to visit their home, found cabinets falling off the wall, another had no sinks in the bathroom. Eventually, I have found some guys who are at least not expecting me to pick up the dinner tab. And it's not a thing where I'm taking advantage of their money, it's because it's made clear by the guy I've dated, I'm not to bring out my money, even though they know I can afford it. Gentlemanliness still exists.

And for the record (I haven't told you), I own two homes, a nice car, and investment property. I'm not seeking vast wealth, I just want someone who isn't too different than I and won't be a drain on me. It's the character and attitude I'm interesting in.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 123
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/1/2014 10:24:43 PM
Let me drop my two cents..
I too seek a woman who isn't too different then I and wont be a drain on me ... I would like her to have a good character and attitude. Bring to the table as much as I would. In other words I want an equal so I wont have to date down. Well at list I wont marry down..
I think many men think like that the older they get.. Even more so if they have things going for them.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 124
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Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:34:27 AM
Seriously lagoodguy. You would date a nice, honest, hardworking woman, but would not marry her just because she doesn't make as much as you?? Curious if you would disclose this while dating...And you claim to have good character? Ha! Not what I'd call a 'good guy' at all.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 125
Over 60, what do you men think about marriage?
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:40:10 AM

Seriously lagoodguy. You would date a nice, honest, hardworking woman, but would not marry her just because she doesn't make as much as you?? Curious if you would disclose this while dating...Not what I'd call a 'good guy'.


The better question is, would lagoodguy date a woman that made twice as much as he did and had 5 times more assets, would he refuse to date her because she wasn't an equal?

I believe lagoodguy said he only wanted to date equals. Marriage is out of the question no matter if they are equals or not.
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