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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 51
dating a 10Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

dating a 10


I think I would rather date two 5's at the same time, instead.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 52
view profile
History
dating a 10
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:30:49 PM


dating a 10
I think I would rather date two 5's at the same time, instead.


From what I'm reading from some 10s in here it will probably be 1/2 as expensive for both, and you can wear shorts...seems like a win win to me.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 53
dating a 10
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:45:33 PM
well the past is the past and needs to rest. I'm never sure what to say when someone starts telling me about their " changes " ( weigh loss, gain, new choppers, hair plugs, etc). I always feel I should offer up a tale of my own.. about as much as I can come up with is everything on me has headed South. Far South.
Of course there are 10s, 12s might be the new 10s.
I get that people are proud however sometimes, in my experience, it does turn into a sort of haughtiness. Everyone has ONE thing that actually makes them a 10, they need to know it and highlight it.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 54
dating a 10
Posted: 6/28/2014 2:58:22 PM
I'd have to disagree that once you get thin and have a terrific body you tend to not put up with the opposite genders crap. I was in a three year relationship and had the perfect hair, skin, body and being naive, innocent young woman made me get treated like sh*t. Players know where to go to BS women that is for sure.
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 55
dating a 10
Posted: 6/28/2014 3:02:01 PM
I put myself thru university in southern California working in a restaurant/jazz club that catered exclusively to the Hollywood crowd. More money and less hours for me.

There are definitely distinguishable 10's in the world, I waited on many of them regularly for years. And my findings are different that most of the posts here. "Stars" are often called that due to stellar good looks and personality. The truly drop dead gorgeous ones in my experience were very lovely people and amazingly supportive and helpful whenever they could be. Often exceptional personalities go along with exceptional good looks. That was a bit of a revelation to me as I was expecting the opposite, which I did find but it was rare.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 56
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History
dating a 10
Posted: 6/28/2014 3:14:32 PM
I don't know if she was a "10" but, in my 20's I was in a relationship with a very attractive woman, who in addition to being attractive, had a phenomenal body, knew how to dress to accentuate it, and used to wear her hair in a variety of styles such that she was consistently stopped in public, by men and women.

Back then, I was so much more laid-back than I am now, that it was only sometimes, very mildly annoying..................sometimes.

She was, I'm sure aware of, and enjoyed the attention, especially from men. I found her to be very loyal, however, like a lot of women, she enjoyed what I would consider, an inordinate amount of attention.

Nowadays, I'm way more cynical. A male acquaintance and I had this discussion a few years ago. Both of us came to the conclusion that we're more into the "girl next door" types, as opposed to the "glamorous", "look at me" types. I would think dating this type of person is as annoying as dating a so-called 'celebrity'. Every other move in public runs the risk of being interrupted by some socially clueless, thirsty, person who decides to attempt to interrupt you for their own motives.
 Svb84
Joined: 4/24/2014
Msg: 57
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 6:51:17 AM

The question begs to be answered "Do those (men or women) who make life changes to better their looks or standing in the world, be it by better health, fitness, life changes or by spending $$$ to fix a body part turn into narcissist's?[\quote]

I think what happens here is that the individual who works so hard to improve their own self image get addicted to the newfound attention they never had before.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 58
view profile
History
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 2:03:05 PM
Some people avoid "10s" because they know if they give them a bunch of drama and stupid BS to deal with they can easily walk and find somebody else,I have known some pretty women who were and were not pretty on the inside but I always knew that they had many options other than me,not that I did or would mistreat them....it was just an obvious reality.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 59
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 2:29:16 PM

Some people avoid "10s" because they know if they give them a bunch of drama and stupid BS to deal with they can easily walk and find somebody else
True but the majority (not all) of people who think that way may be very insecure, or ill-behaved.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 60
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 6:38:13 PM
There are definitely distinguishable 10's in the world, I waited on many of them regularly for years. And my findings are different that most of the posts here. "Stars" are often called that due to stellar good looks and personality. The truly drop dead gorgeous ones in my experience were very lovely people and amazingly supportive and helpful whenever they could be. Often exceptional personalities go along with exceptional good looks. That was a bit of a revelation to me as I was expecting the opposite, which I did find but it was rare.


I do think there's a difference between people who have been drop-dead gorgeous most of their lives, versus those who acquired their good looks later on in life. Being drop-dead gorgeous gives a person a good amount of power---however, along with that power comes a certain responsibility to use it fairly and not hurt people or try to take advantage of them.

I've noticed that the people that have been gorgeous since birth tend to learn humility early on and are less apt to abuse this power. In contrast, the ones who acquired their good looks later in life seem more likely to become self-entitled.

One such person that comes to my mind is the young singer, Justin Bieber, who has grown from a scrawny-looking little kid with acne, to a buff, handsome, young man. Unfortunately, he's also turned against the fans that helped make him famous and has now become a pill-popping, law-breaking, self-entitled, spoiled brat.


I think what happens here is that the individual who works so hard to improve their own self image get addicted to the newfound attention they never had before.


Agreed. I think this is what might have happened in Justin Bieber's case. I've also seen it happen in people I've known personally---in both sexes. I'm all in favor of being supportive to the people in my life who are trying to better themselves.

I'll validate them and help them build up their self-confidence---but I'll only go so far. If I ever get a whiff that they've developed a big head and need to be taken down a notch or two, my support will be withdrawn. I don't care if it's the man I'm dating, or my own brother or sister.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 61
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 7:58:46 PM
I've known a fair share of "beauties from birth" who had no sense of humility. BUT, they came from a small town, which isn't the same as growing up in a city that considers beauty to be a business, like LA or NYC. Different places have different attitudes on what beauty can be used for...and thus what it means.

as for child actors, I've heard enough recovered ones say, "the worst thing to do was grow up in LA--everything was offered to you, no one was limiting your access." in other places, someone would have told your mama you were at that "hookers and blow" party, and you would have been in such trouble when you got home :)

in the end, someone who appears a "10" due to high maintenance...will likely turn out to be a high maintenance parter.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 62
dating a 10
Posted: 6/29/2014 9:22:22 PM
Before I was married that was literally all I was asked out by, and for almost three years I was hated by friends because of the looks of the people who wanted to date; ironically I couldn't wait for the evening to end with ANY of them, they were self absorbed, incredibly shallow, all about how many squats and bench presses they could do, how they carired the football team or how successful their company was, it was painfully, painfully boring; there was NOTHING to the conversation outside of how amazing they were and how lucky I was to be with them.

Not one exception in three years, and I went out a LOT. They couldn't believe that I was not falling all over myself ine xcitement to be with them because they were aggressively huntedy by many women; but I ceased to see the face and saw the utter lack of ANY personality or intelligence (I know not every conventionally beautiful person is like that; but they were so spoiled; they hadn't needed to develop a personality I guess); and while I can find beauty in most people if I look hard enough; having someone shoving their beauty in my face with a self indulgent jackhammer got pretty, well, tiresome. I got to the point I wouldn't date a 10 because I had such bad experiences with htem.

Since the divorce; I don't date someone because of or in spite of looks; I don't care about looks; I think rating is stupid and subjective; but have dated some people my friends couldn't get the attraction and some people where gorgeous women would hit on them in my presence fully expecting the date to forget I was there and play.

When I am out with someone who maybe is conventionally beautiful or uber successful, what I see are the sides of other people who are entitled self indulgent people who need to be the center of attention who can't allow someone who looks or is like that to not look at them. At least now, the people that are like that are secure enough to not need the attention from those women; because someone who is rock solid secure doesn't need to showcase to have people believe he's acceptable; he knows he is and doesn't need other people's validation to believe it.

But there are still those who are in love with the attention and spoiled rotten who, well, some women will consider themselves very lucky to be in their sights; more power to them. Some people love empty physical beauty; and just casual physical interaction the culmination of what they're looking for. I'm just not one of them. If the pretty face can't hold a conversation, ONLY is about how amazing they look and how lucky people are to be with them and expect you to fall all over yourself to want to be with them, nothing has me run screaming for the hills faster :)

Empty looks with nothing deeper isn't attractive; regardless of how beautiful the face the brain is in.

And you definitely see the cattier side of humanity, and the entitled spoiled needers of ALL attention.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 63
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History
dating a 10
Posted: 6/30/2014 6:37:28 AM
Before all the "beautiful" people are crucified lets not forget the bitterness,envy and hateful personalties that can exist in those who do not meet the appearance standards society has set, judging someone as good because they look bad can be just as wrong as judging someone to be good because they look good,not all of the less attractive have stellar personalities and wonderful character,in fact many con artist who cheat women out of their life savings are often not that attractive....they just know how to tell women what they want to hear and that is the #1 way that most women get played,with men its appearance that gets them in trouble because they will tolerate more from a "hottie" than a nottie.

In the end if there is no physical attraction it will go nowhere,if you look at a person and say I can't imagine being intimate with them you are wasting each other's time unless you are looking for a....physical beauty also has a shelf life and doesn't last forever,if you are blessed it would be wise to remember that and act accordingly and invest yourself in finding something that will last.
 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 64
dating a 10
Posted: 6/30/2014 8:36:16 AM

Everyone has ONE thing that actually makes them a 10, they need to know it and highlight it.


Perhaps you meant to say everyone has at least one very nice physical attribute that is worthy of a ten , not that I would agree with that at all.

By my definition, a 10 is someone who is basically perfect ( they don't have to be PERFECT because if everything else pretty much is you'll easily forgive a minor flaw or two , Cindy Crawford's mole is a good example ).

BUT.... if someone has killer eyes or a killer body , for example, that alone won't make them a 10 if something else is below par ( the woman with killer eyes doesn't have a killer body, etc ).
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 65
dating a 10
Posted: 6/30/2014 7:26:16 PM

Before all the "beautiful" people are crucified lets not forget the bitterness,envy and hateful personalties that can exist in those who do not meet the appearance standards society has set, judging someone as good because they look bad can be just as wrong as judging someone to be good because they look good,not all of the less attractive have stellar personalities and wonderful character,in fact many con artist who cheat women out of their life savings are often not that attractive....they just know how to tell women what they want to hear and that is the #1 way that most women get played,with men its appearance that gets them in trouble because they will tolerate more from a "hottie" than a nottie.

In the end if there is no physical attraction it will go nowhere,if you look at a person and say I can't imagine being intimate with them you are wasting each other's time unless you are looking for a....physical beauty also has a shelf life and doesn't last forever,if you are blessed it would be wise to remember that and act accordingly and invest yourself in finding something that will last.

so true, prejudice on both ends~!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 66
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History
dating a 10
Posted: 7/1/2014 1:07:30 PM

HawkingJr
Last week, a woman that was a 10 in every possible way (my best friend had her mouth wide open when looking at her brilliantly written profile and her incredible appearance) actually responded, and positively, to one of my POF emails. At first, I tried to keep reminding myself that it was just one response and there was a high chance that we'd never even meet, or that I would even hear from her again. But a few hours later, I started thinking to myself, "I can't date someone like that being like this -- I gotta get back in shape, I gotta get a better job, I gotta get better friends, I gotta get a better car, a better place to live, I gotta be a better person!" Seriously, the first time in many years I've ever reacted like that to anyone, online or in real life. Two days later I never heard back from her and went right back to normal thinking: "I wonder where I should go to lunch tomorrow." That's the kind of effect a real "10" has on someone like me.


I haven’t felt like that since I was in my 20’s. But I do remember the feeling, I remember it as though it happened to me yesterday. I’m not at all sure that I would ever want to feel that way again. It definitely throws you for a loop.

Then again, it was kind of nice, in a certain sense. Definitely shakes up your life, adds some excitement, some spice.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 67
dating a 10
Posted: 7/1/2014 1:46:09 PM

I haven’t felt like that since I was in my 20’s. But I do remember the feeling, I remember it as though it happened to me yesterday. I’m not at all sure that I would ever want to feel that way again. It definitely throws you for a loop.

Then again, it was kind of nice, in a certain sense. Definitely shakes up your life, adds some excitement, some spice.


Imagine how you'd feel if you had a whole slew of tens vying for your attention. That must be the way "The Bachelorette" feels on the reality show by the same name. She's from my city---I watched them filming a segment of the show here. She has already narrowed her suitors down to four men---two of whom I consider to be tens. It will be interesting to see which man she chooses at the end. I predict it will be Josh---definitely a ten, IMO.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 68
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 7:44:59 AM

I started thinking to myself, "I can't date someone like that being like this -- I gotta get back in shape, I gotta get a better job, I gotta get better friends, I gotta get a better car, a better place to live, I gotta be a better person!


This is so fvcking sad, dude. Happiness starts by accepting what you have, who you are, who your friends are and live with it. I am the best person that I can possibly be because I do not waste my time trying to be someone else. Be happy, and if you actively pursue a sense of self improvement, just as a habit, you will find that person that you want to be.

As for dating a 10. They like the rest also have flat asses, small/big feet, long/short necks, weird/funny ways of laughing and poop, fart and fvck just like the rest of us. See a 10 after you fvck her brains out and you will realize that all that self deprecating s hi t was a waste of your time. But you will not sleep with her until you start loving yourself.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 69
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dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 11:18:10 AM
"Happiness starts by accepting what you have, who you are, who your friends are and live with it. I am the best person that I can possibly be because I do not waste my time trying to be someone else."

It's funny you should say that, considering the #1 piece of advice most women give to men on this site who are struggling to get dates with women they find attractive is to improve themselves (or sometimes, their profile).

"Be yourself" only works if yourself is someone spectacular. Otherwise, you'll be dating 1's or no one at all. But my issue with the "self-improvement" suggestion has long been that it is not possible to "improve" some things, and some of these things are so negative that they will cancel out all the positives (being a 10 in one area will not make up for being a zero in some others that are more important to most people), and people can easily drive themselves crazy trying to "fix" themselves to no avail. I know I did. Which is not to say there aren't some people for whom self-improvement is possible and for whom self-improvement will actually greatly improve their opportunities. It is just not a universal panacea for all dating ills.

Of course, the ultimate irony of my thoughts after getting that email from that "10" is that she had already suggested that she was interested in me as I was (or at least what she knew of me, which included my appearance) so why would my reaction be to change myself? Frankly, you can never be good enough for a 10, especially if you're zero.

"The truly drop dead gorgeous ones in my experience were very lovely people and amazingly supportive and helpful whenever they could be. Often exceptional personalities go along with exceptional good looks. That was a bit of a revelation to me as I was expecting the opposite, which I did find but it was rare."

Here's a rare case of where I agree with regency. Most very attractive FAMOUS (to some degree) people I have met have been ridiculously nice, sometimes to the point that you want to shake them and say "What's wrong with you?!?! THE WORLD SUCKS!!!" I was friends with a gorgeous Playboy model in college (I met her when her sorority played an intramural game I was officiating), and she was just obnoxiously sweet, gracious, polite and helpful and became a pediatric nurse after graduating. Most of the famous attractive people I've met at festivals and whatnot were also very nice and curteous. But then again, many of them probably think they have to be in public, less you end up with a Christian Bale, Russell Crowe or Jonah Hill public relations situation. Obvious exceptions: "celebrities" who are famous for being famous.

And I wouldn't go so far as to say those who grew up attractive handle it better than those who become attractive later. Seems a largely equal mixture to me and mostly dependent on what was dwelling deep down inside that person before the transformation. I dated one woman, who while never in her life was an unattractive person, kept getting various plastic surgeries throughout the time I was dating her (even though she was only in her early 20s!) and she never seemed to act like she had "outgrown" me (we stopped dating because she moved). I never really understood her obsession with the perfect body -- I saw pictures of her from high school, and she was definitely a top 10%-er even back then, and she didn't seem to have any obvious self-esteem issues. She had a tummy tuck without telling me beforehand and when I found out I said, "There was something wrong with your stomach?!?!" And she said, "There's just always these little areas of fat I can never seem to get rid of there no matter how much I exercise." #prettygirlproblems
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 70
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 11:26:20 AM
There is a HUGE difference between saying to be the best person a person can be, and change onesself to be available to someone else's expectation.

When a person is the very best they can be and know it? They can be confident in who they are and get comfortable. It is the confidence one carries themselves with that translates to positive with women (or men, alternatively). Not a specific set of manners, goals, etc. Because there will always be preference between women (or men) for behavior a, behavior b, etc.

Someone changing themselves for someone else might find they change themselves AWAY from wanted behavior from someone else; because people click with different types of personalities.

So be the best person one can be, and then hold your head up high KNOWING you're a catch as you are; and then live life knowing that someone will come across your path that appreciates the living daylights out of who that person is...

No one should change for generic non existent people; it has to be done for one's OWN sense of self. And then, know that they don't need to apologize, but can celebrate who they are, knowing someone worth knowing will get and appreciate that. And those who don't? Don't waste so much as a second's thoughts on. They aren't worth wasting your time over.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 71
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 12:19:23 PM

It's funny you should say that, considering the #1 piece of advice most women give to men on this site who are struggling to get dates with women they find attractive is to improve themselves (or sometimes, their profile).

"Be yourself" only works if yourself is someone spectacular.


This is an interesting issue. There's nothing wrong with self improvement. There's nothing wrong with being a "BETTER" self. And yes, when people tell you to just be yourself, it falls flat since that is the self that has failed over and over again. But one thing is to read some Napoleon Hill or Carnage and setting a plan for self improvement and self discovery, and another one to pretend to be someone else.

To be something, you must first lie and pretend to be that thing. You practice, you internalize whatever it is you do until through failure, lesson, recovery and failure again you master that thing and becomes second nature. If you're afraid of talking on the phone, you grab a phone an start talking.

I never had any problem with 10s, because my own sister was a 10 and I had met plenty of 10s. So when you act around them like they are just one more "little s hi t," instead of god's gift to humankind, they tend to do one of two things. ONe, get off their high horse, if that was their personality to begin with. Or, as it has more often been the case, they stopped feeling objectified and related to you as a human being. Sometimes both with the same person.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 72
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 2:31:22 PM
I've HEARD about many, many "tens" from friends or associates who claim they went out with, dated them

funny though when I met them or saw them they seemed more like a 6 or 7 to me

some "grade inflation" seems to go along with the retelling..
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 73
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 3:11:34 PM

some "grade inflation" seems to go along with the retelling..


it sure does

i've never seen nor met a 10, 10's don't exist unless in reference to a 'walmart 10' and like a 10 on the painscale the doctor immediately thinks you are about a level 4.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 74
dating a 10
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:36:24 PM
Hawking, you're a smart boy. If you say you aren't a 10, I'll believe it. I can tell you, tho, dating a 10 will NOT make you feel better about yourself, just all the more afraid to lose what you lucked into. Hence, its better to not date someone out of your league, but to date someone who is in your league. No one can change you, or prove worth to yourself...but yourself. confidence comes from success, so why not get the proverbial low hanging fruit? share what you do have with them.

"be yourself" is trite, it really should be, "be your true self". I've met hotties who were hot on the outside, not much on the inside, and they dated guys who were equally "not a lot of there, there" on the inside. People would meet them and ask me, "what does she see in that guy?" and I'd say, "stick around, and ask yourself if you'd put up with her behavior if she wasn't so hot."

Back in CatholicHighSchool I met some beautiful daughters of local celebrities, and yes, they too were magnagamous and sometimes Pollyanna-ish...and why not? in their world, they really wasn't much wrong. Toxic people sure didn't want to ruin their chances to get a date from them, much less anyone else. When you're busy at work and a hottie walks in with one more thing to put on your plate...do you roll your eyes, or are you glad for the distraction? when you have what people want, they tend to treat you nicely.

finally...your stories tend to mention a few attractive women you've dated. If so, then you aren't doing that bad. in other words, real success is when you enjoy what you have, not what you don't or can't. dating a 10 is like getting rich--not everyone can in life, but if they accept it and live with what they DO have....they will enjoy what they have.
 imokurok77
Joined: 6/2/2014
Msg: 75
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 8:25:11 AM

When you're busy at work and a hottie walks in with one more thing to put on your plate...do you roll your eyes, or are you glad for the distraction? when you have what people want, they tend to treat you nicely.


Maybe I am terribly naive here but at a certain point in knowing (working with, being friends with, etc) someone, doesn't how they look lose importance?

If that 'hottie' is a beyotch or a humorless dud, do you still happily accept what she dumps on you plate when you are busy?

On the days when I'm terribly busy (NB - not today) and the head of General Accounting comes with a last minute request, I am happy to do it. Not because he's a conventionally handsome guy (he's not if I'm being objective about it) but because he has a great personality, sense of humor and generally tries to be realistic in his expectations of what he's asking. He's a great person, not a hottie. To me that matters WAY more.

As for dating/attraction - isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder? A '10' in my eyes will likely not be a '10' to someone else. (Then again, I don't find George Clooney or Brad Pitt particularly good looking) When I'm crazy about someone he is the most appealing guy in the place (to me), period.
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