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 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 76
dating a 10Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

If that 'hottie' is a beyotch or a humorless dud, do you still happily accept what she dumps on you plate when you are busy?



If I can tell she's the type who has gotten dumb guys to do something by batting her eyelashes all her life I go out of my way to NOT be yet another dumb guy she can manipulate.

Sometimes I wanna smack those guys upside the head !

They think they're increasing their chances but these girls actually just laugh at them with their gfs and talk about how dumb they are.

Way to go champ. Try having some self respect next time.
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 77
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 8:45:18 AM

When you're busy at work and a hottie walks in with one more thing to put on your plate...do you roll your eyes, or are you glad for the distraction? when you have what people want, they tend to treat you nicely.

Not in my world...would a "hottie" be treated any different. But then I am not a person easily persuaded by just looks.
Maybe....this attitude is why people that are full of themselves...think they are special and act accordingly!


He's a great person, not a hottie. To me that matters WAY more

Can't be said enough!!

Sometimes I wanna smack those guys upside the head

Me too!!
 ForumRuler
Joined: 4/2/2013
Msg: 78
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 12:19:34 PM
Everyone strives to date the highest number they can achieve.
 blueturtle70
Joined: 5/29/2014
Msg: 79
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 1:57:15 PM
ranking looks on a 10/10 scale seems quite metric to me.

since most people on this site don't know how to use the metric system, shouldn't we say 'dating a 12' or dating a '16'?
;-)
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 80
view profile
History
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 2:24:09 PM
“No one should change for generic non existent people; it has to be done for one's OWN sense of self.”

I don’t know that I would call it “changing for generic non-existent people.” Rather, it’s changing for what a larger percentage of people (or most of a specific type of people) find attractive to increase the odds that some specific person of that type that you find attractive will also find you attractive. For example, you’re attracted to non-obese people, the majority of people are non-obese and are also attracted to other non-obese people, but you yourself are obese. Becoming non-obese yourself SHOULD vastly increase your dating pool. Some people would say you should become non-obese to improve your health, allow you to be more active and to improve your sense of self-worth, and the increased dating pool is simply a side benefit; my philosophy is the opposite, that better health, more active life and stronger self-esteem are side benefits of becoming non-obese to increase your dating pool. (I’ve never been even remotely close to obese so this is just an example, not a personal reflection.)

I mean, in the end, why should it matter why you improved yourself? Either way, you are better off and theoretically happier. Unless, you know, the improvements you made did NOT lead to your main goal (more dating opportunities) despite being better off in other ways. Then, there’s likely going to be a psychological issue.

“Hence, its better to not date someone out of your league, but to date someone who is in your league.”

I have no league. This is one of the main problems. Most people have some weak positives and some weak negatives – i.e., they are average. Some people have strong positives and weak positives, some people have strong negatives and weak negatives, a few very fortunate have only strong positives, a few very unfortunate have only weak negatives. I have that very rare condition of a nearly equal mix of strong positives and strong negatives. If you have a bunch of 10s and a bunch of 5s, you can deduce that you are a 7 or 8. If you have a bunch of 5s and a bunch of 1s, you can deduce that you are a 2 or 3. If you have a bunch of 5s and a bunch more 5s, you can deduce that you are a 5. But “average math” does not work with a bunch of 10s and a bunch of zeroes, as that is an “average by zero error” – you do not end up a 5, equivalent to a person with a bunch of 5s. You end up “uncategorized.” This is how I have somehow ended up dating both models and the dregs of humanity. Basically I have to find women willing to overlook the zeroes because the 10s I have are more important to them. Which was much easier in my mid to late 20s than any other point in my life for some reason. Point is, dating models is a long past era, despite the fact that I look almost the same as when I did manage to date models.

“When you're busy at work and a hottie walks in with one more thing to put on your plate...do you roll your eyes, or are you glad for the distraction?”

This is a ridiculously timely question. Just yesterday, my hottie best friend got promoted to my supervisor. I’m just waiting for the first time she tells me to do something I think is stupid or pointless or whatever and how less hot she gets from that point onward.

I’m kinda joking about that, because she’s been telling me what to do at work and in our personal lives for years. But also there is that “years” thing – I agree with the others that after any significant amount of time of getting to know an attractive woman, her attractiveness ceases to be all that noticeable unless she does something to call unusual attention to her attractiveness (showing tons of skin or wearing a really tight top or acting flirty, for example). Or, unless she’s returning romantic/sexual interest toward me, which is how my ex-girlfriend stayed a hottie despite knowing her for years by the time we broke up. All of my closest friends are attractive females that I’ve known for many years, and I rarely ever think of them in any sort of sexual way anymore. I’ve just known them for too long in a non-sexual way. I have always wondered what would happen if a woman I found attractive and had known for years with no previous dating possibilities threw herself at me all of the sudden, with complete sober seriousness. That has never, ever happened so it’s difficult to say if I can just switch gears in my head like that. I’ve never “friend zoned” any woman. They friend zone me, and I live with it.

Anyway, I suppose the most simplistic answer to that question is that if I’ve known her for a long time, I roll my eyes; if I’ve only recently met her, I’m glad for the distraction, unless she comes out of the gate being a first class btich, then there is probably no amount of attractiveness that will keep me from immediately hating her. However, if she were to do a complete 180 later, I could learn to love her!

I’d just like to clarify one more time: I don’t want to date women I find attractive to make myself feel better about myself or for some sort of “status” reason; I want to date women I find attractive so I can be attracted to her and be 100% into our potential relationship. I dated a number of women I found repulsive in the beginning, and that situation is just no good for anyone. I’d rather deal with the walking-on-eggshells and being slightly paranoid thing of dating a very attractive woman than the “holding my nose while I kiss her” feeling of dating a very repulsive woman. I mean, how is this line of reasoning any different from the women who say they can't date a man they don't find attractive, and most everybody else says "I understand"? The difference in our situations is those same women are attracted to a significant number of men that also find them attractive; very few women find me attractive and I find very few of those that find me attractive to be attractive, despite the fact that I find the vast majority of all women that I come across (within reasonable age) to be attractive. Most supposed 5's are attractive to me, but because of my several zeroes, they don't find me attractive. I am certainly not going after only a bunch of models, based on the fact that one actually did date me for 1.5 years a very long time ago -- I realize that was an anomaly and it's not likely to ever happen again. I'm pretty much going after every woman I come across except the few I find absolutely repulsive, and the ones I find attractive that have preemptively eliminated me, because that's just inefficient to bother with them. Indeed figuring out what women find me attractive is itself an inefficient task, because I am not in any league and am "uncategorized." The only thing the women who have dated me (attractive or repulsive) have largely had in common is that they just did not place strong emphasis on looks (even the model -- well, maybe the look of money) and there absolutely no way to tell if a woman is like that... unless you see her dating someone "beneath her," in which case, what good does that do you? She's already dating someone.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 81
dating a 10
Posted: 7/3/2014 2:38:54 PM

I realize that was an anomaly and it's not likely to ever happen again.


Don't sell yourself too low. If you have something once, you can have it again. To the point that is all you get. I've always dated very attractive women. I've never dated an average one. Why? Because I set the bar very high and never had to look down.

With that said, there's nothing wrong coming down a few notches, if anything because the person that you met has an awesome personality. However, I feel like you, I could never date a woman I would not want to fvck. It's that simple. I could not live with myself if I ever did that.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 82
view profile
History
dating a 10
Posted: 7/4/2014 6:16:13 PM
Never met a 10, pretty much everybody has at least some type of flaw. I've dated two 9's though, the difference was one knew it, and used her beauty to every advantage, while the other didn't know how really beautiful she was. Both were constantly hounded by men constantly, and found it to be a royal PITA. I took them places where they wouldn't be stared at every second, and was appreciated for that. Still, just because someone is perfect in our eyes doesn't make them compatible with us. But it was fun while we discovered who we were to each other, and I'm glad I took the chance to ask them out. Like someone else here said, never assume you won't be attractive to someone until you ask; we all have some little things that we simply adore that makes someone special to us, and you just might have that special something that your '10' is looking for!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 83
dating a 10
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:16:51 PM
to answer your post, omokurok, your view on peoples' looks isn't common (and that's not a bad thing). As the fellow below you noted, there are physically attractive people who know they can wrap certain people around their finger, from the experience of actually doing so. when I used to have a routine office job and needed to leave at 4pm (caretaker for mother with dementia), a last minute task was a cause for an eye roll, esp. when I already had a full plate.

smoothing the blow, yes, was accomplished if the deliverer was "easy on the eyes." as in, curvy, wearing tight clothes b/c she knows she looks damn hawt in them. who doesn't want a mental distraction from staring at a screen for the last 3 hours? well, OK, some people. My former boss is a married man, going home to his wife. I'm eternally single. If all a person offers is wonderful cleavage, well, its like a candy bar--sure doesn't offer much but one thing, but ooooh, that one thing. if someone's nice on the outside, and nice on the inside, they'll get more attention than the person who's just nice for one, basic reason--the former offers more. it's the reason all products come with a fancy wrapper on the outside. and for the record, I've watched all female-departments where I used to work come running when a hot, muscular fellow I had to work with came about. We all like to feel alive (one of the hotties I mentioned even gave me her number to pass on to him, saying, "I really shouldn't do this since I'm engaged, but...". and yes, I saved her from herself by not passing it along. to this day I'm sure she'll deny ever tempting herself that way).

as for people who know that they can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, oh yes, they helped out the situation by not being so over-bearing as the idiot who only offers vinegar. its not just a nice physical appearance that makes the day nicer.

yes, not everyone is a fan of the same look. But, if Clooney or Pitt didn't get the attention of an overwhelming majority...they wouldn't get the pay. Just because something doesn't work on us, it doesn't mean it fails to work in general.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 84
dating a 10
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:59:16 PM
Every guy I dated was a 9 or 10 to me - I'm not really up on what everyone considers a 10. Sometimes others agreed that my SO was a 10 sometimes they didn't - it only mattered how I saw that person. I have a healthy self esteem so while looks are nice, there has to be more to the guy if he's to be more than a boy toy - he's got to pull his weight if we're gonna date. Also, I'm not a jealous person - if someone wants to be with me, good - if not, I'm not going to try and force them to stay.

So at the end of the day dating someone who is hot to me doesn't make anything any different.
 BI0ndE
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 85
dating a 10
Posted: 7/4/2014 8:00:49 PM
in my experience '10' s are too flaky , unreliable, serial daters and way too spoiled with attention from opposite sex. not worth it...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 86
dating a 10
Posted: 7/5/2014 8:27:37 AM
well, when someone's a 10 on the inside as well as the outside...why are they single? wouldn't someone want to have babies and a family with someone who's an excellent catch? the OP does talk about "dating" not "socializing" :)

Heck, there's a poster here who claims she lives in a small town, gets brutally asked out by every jerk there...and yet still finds other guys worthy for her to date. Out where I live, never met a "goddess" who was alone...but I met some beeotches who were.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
dating a 10
Posted: 7/5/2014 11:25:26 AM

when someone's a 10 on the inside as well as the outside...why are they single?

No one's a 10 inside and out, as we all have our flaws. That said, why would anyone who's a 10 inside and out need to date anyone else?
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 88
dating a 10
Posted: 7/5/2014 11:49:11 AM

Heck, there's a poster here who claims she lives in a small town, gets brutally asked out by every jerk there.


I will bet, without any photos, some women's (and some men;s) opinion of their beauty is mostly in their own minds, vastly inflated

"every guy wants me, it's a curse, I can't walk down a street without them falling like flies to their knees and begging to date me.."

"It's such a curse" --notwithstanding that the majority who say these attention-seeking things have had cosmetic surgery to "enhance" their natural assets and spend hours daily with a'beauty routine' , cosmetics bills over $1000/month
would never dream of stepping out the door without careful makeup sessions, hair and revealing/sexy clothing
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 89
dating a 10
Posted: 7/5/2014 12:20:27 PM
"It's such a curse" --notwithstanding that the majority who say these attention-seeking things have had cosmetic surgery to "enhance" their natural assets and spend hours daily with a'beauty routine' , cosmetics bills over $1000/month
would never dream of stepping out the door without careful makeup sessions, hair and revealing/sexy clothing

I don't think I've seen one woman in the forums who appears to have had surgery (unless they had a breast enhancement) but the faces of POF IMO appear unaltered (it's a free site, do people who have $30,000 for a nip-N-tuck go on free sites?)

I don't see how any woman could spend hours, unless it was 1 hr at the gym, a shower, & blowing out her hair & 10-15 mins on makeup!

$1,000 a month? Maybe the ENTIRE cast of a DRAG QUEEN SHOW would spend $200-300 but $1,000??? NO phuking way!

Hair? If a woman has it, she should shampoo & style it, or at least shampoo, comb & air dry!

sexy/revealing clothing? Unless a woman is shopping at Aunt Bertha's Geriatric Mart, most women's clothing will be "stylish"...

Trying to make daily hygiene & grooming into a high-priced porno-drag queen get-up does not compute.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 90
dating a 10
Posted: 7/5/2014 12:36:16 PM
It's funny, yesterday at Convergence, Mirina Sirtis (Deanna Troi) spoke and she was REALLY funny; but she was refreshing

She is almost 60 now and still absolutely drop dead beautiful; and she made a comment that she wished that she had appreciated how pretty she was back when she was young; at the time she was in her peak Twiggy was the norm and she was curvier than usual and just didn't get how pretty she was until now looking back, and then looked at everyone in the audience and said that people try and emulate people in magazines, and newsflash people, those pics are not REAL.

She said for everyone there to appreciate how beautiful they are now; not wait until way in teh future to get that trying to live up to an unrealistic societal norm when in fact, society is celebrated by unattainable, surgical and photoshopped.

It was funny, but it was true. She was STUNNING and I know a ton of guys who were totally into her but she had no idea at the time how beautiful she was, because she was not "conventionally" pretty by the accepted standards of her time. She was always trying to live up to looking like someone else, not getting how stunning she was.

My daughter is GORGEOUS and people would absolutely kill to look like her, and she is angry she doesn't look like me which blows my mind, because she is the personification of what people literally get sick trying to look like; but all she can see is what she does not have that she thinks I do. I want to shake her, because she is so flipping ridiculously pretty and perfect exactly as she is.

Everyone guy and gal, is a 10 in some way, they have SOMETHING in them that is perfection; so own that, be comfortable and don't worry about what anyone else is. It's all subjective anyways; everyone will be a perfect 10 to someone who "gets" them and appreciates them.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 91
notice, its
Posted: 7/5/2014 2:28:45 PM
"No one's a 10 inside and out, as we all have our flaws."

>>>this reminds me of what the nuns used to teach:

"there was only one perfect human, and look how the world treated Him."

Its too bad some (not the person I'm quoting, i never met her) people fear the idea of a 10. I've personally met 10's. they are the people who make you give up your cool attitude, make you lose your laid back style, your "can't be moved by anything" attitude. Then again, I was always the kid who wanted to see things and experience things that impressed him, moved him, stimulated him.

"That said, why would anyone who's a 10 inside and out need to date anyone else? "

>>>Exactly. they don't NEED to date anyone else. the healthiest relationships are when you aren't needy. those are about sharing what you have, not needing.

While I admire the people who claim, "everyone I dated was a 10 to me", I also have to point out...they ain't chopped liver themselves :) When you can attract attractive people, it's realistic to say the person you attracted...is attractive in general.

Its true, everyone has something in them that's perfect. And we usually try to make these people our friends...unless they're hot as well. then we wish they could be more. will they have an imperfection? sure. but as any lover of any subject can tell you, a beautiful version of what they enjoy may be made more so with an imperfection--for example, an old car or furniture or mechanical device with "patina" looks great, a newer car/furniture/mechanical device with the same patina (ie, surface rust, mild wear) looks like hell.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 92
notice, its
Posted: 7/15/2014 2:32:14 PM

Its true, everyone has something in them that's perfect.


I don't believe this one bit. We all have room for improvement. Women that are tens worked hard to look like a 10. It may be makeup, surgery, exercise, nutrition, even the hottest of hot, in the morning may not look that good. Also, these people can improve in their personalities, some needing to be less narcissistic, others be more sure of themselves.

So, I don't believe in perfect, particularly ALL the so called 10s.
 epz33
Joined: 5/20/2014
Msg: 93
notice, its
Posted: 7/15/2014 6:26:40 PM
I would like to date a((( seven))), but (((ten)))Spiritually.


Just saying.
 epz33
Joined: 5/20/2014
Msg: 94
notice, its
Posted: 7/15/2014 6:27:05 PM
I would like to date a((( seven))), but (((ten)))Spiritually.


Just saying.
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 95
view profile
History
notice, its
Posted: 7/15/2014 7:40:49 PM
lol.. im happy with a 6 ish.. he just has to be confident in his 6ishness..
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 96
dating a 10
Posted: 7/17/2014 6:40:47 AM

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


You're wrong.




Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.



Hehehe
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 97
dating a 10
Posted: 7/18/2014 4:36:11 AM

Yes! I'm not anyone's "10" either but I've been on dates when the guys made it pretty clear that they just wanted to smash, or gotten leered at in public. I'm glad that I'm more on the "cute" side than 'HOT' because that must be annoying with the constant harassment, sexual advances and attention. Your post reminds me something my good friend told me. He said that he prefers NOT to date the "super beautiful" women because often times, they are the most damaged and insecure.

@msg 34-gosh, ur like a 20, girlfriend!

Unwanted advances must be uncomfortable to either gender!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 98
dating a 10
Posted: 7/19/2014 1:57:19 PM
Never experienced an unwanted advance offline.

An unwanted rejection? More common.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 99
dating a 10
Posted: 7/27/2014 5:37:02 PM
People (at least men) are slightly more nervous about conversing with a "10" because they view them as "high in status", therefore being rejected would be more of a blow to the pride.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 100
all my ex's once had something perfect in them :)
Posted: 7/28/2014 9:42:11 AM
^^^interestingly, there's a theory that someone who only gets about 75% of the room's attention (IE a 7 or an 8) gets hit on more often, b/c they are seen as more approachable, or a better risk.
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