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 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 36
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
If you know you can't trust him anymore
What's you reason for staying and putting
Up with his lack of character or conscience?

You do realize he has put your health at risk?!!
You need to get tested ASAP especially
If he doesn't use condoms.

That risk alone is why I'd be beyond pissed
To find out someone cheated on me!

Obviously you both have unhealthy boundaries
In that he crosses lines he knows he shouldn't
And you don't draw healthy lines of acceptable
Behavior in your personal relationships if
You have to ask a forum if you should end this
Farce of a relationship.

He's made an abject fool of you and betrayed
Your trust!!!

The lesson isn't ignorance is bliss it's
Be thankful you can now make informed
Choices about what you will or won't tolerate!

Does this guy financially support you or what?

If you don't believe you deserve better
Why would he ever stop cheating on you!

Call him out!

Then leave his sorry butt in the dust if you
Have any pride or dignity!!
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 37
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 1:22:17 PM
you asked a cheater if it's ok for a guy to cheat on you?
because the cheater says it's normal for guys to cheat, you think it's ok?
You think a person's age determines whether or not the person has "outgrown" being a cheater?
You consider continuing a relationship with someone you dont trust?

Hey, works for me. Whatever floats your boat.
 cwisme
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 38
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 2:21:27 PM
...ok, so let me get this straight, you're willing to put up with infidelity just to have an attractive boyfriend?, and I use the boyfriend term very loosely since how much of a boyfriend is he if he's sleeping with other women? Is your self esteem really that low?...
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 39
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:28:11 PM

AliceRs89 wrote:

Found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with someone who clearly thinks that she is the only girl in his life. None of his friends know about this girl and I am the 'public' girlfriend, however I know that he has been sleeping with her very recently (I went through his phone). she has ended it with him, since she has found out that I exist now (accidentally also), but I really can't trust him now.

Spoke to my ex about it (we were together 6 years and are still close friends). he said that this is normal and that guys do it for a thrill. he used to do it all the time.

is it a big deal? this guy is like 12 years older than me so I had hoped he might have grown out of all that stuff by now....


OP, NO!!!!! ABSOLUTELY DO NOT break up with him. Don't you know, every girl dreams of dating the bad boy. You cught one. You are now revered by all women. You should definitely stay with him............
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 40
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:09:50 PM
No there's nothing attractive about men who treat you badly. What's attractive is men who love & respect you and have the moral character to treat you and others decently. It's like the people going nuts over the convict that's going around the internet, they'd do him even though he's trash because they find him hawt...fact is, you get what you think you deserve. If you feel you do not deserve disrespect and put up with disgusting treatment, then you will not stay once you find it in another. If you think love and relationships are a game to be won and outplayed, then you will not be treating it with any respect.


HawkingsJr I do know people who think that way, but looks have zero to do with who cheats and who doesn't, it's character thing, not a looks thing.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 41
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:12:49 PM
OP, Seriously WOW. You come off as pretty desperate to have an attractive man in your life. I would suggest giving up on all relationships until you can bring your self worth up to a more reasonable level. I mean it's one thing to only like attractive guys, it is a completely other thing to let them treat you like trash. It degrades you and makes you seem less than you actually are. Unless if that's the way you get your jollies, I think you seriously need to do some soul searching.
Oh and another thing, stop being friends with douchebags.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 43
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 11:00:12 PM

I suspect I will wake up in ten years time sad and alone and wish I'd taken advice like yours. I'm a glutton for punishment, I really am.


I have kids your age. Parents wish they could guide their children through heartaches like this, but we're usually the last to talk about it with them.

You have a college degree, and a good job. It's time for you to set your ship on a different course. Become a leader to yourself. Set better goals, and set out to achieve them.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 44
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/2/2014 11:05:43 PM
It is important to keep in mind that he is a handsome man and he definitely has that alluring "bad boy" edge.
You might want to "keep astride this horse in the rodeo" a few more years as it does add excitement to your life.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 45
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 5:12:18 AM
Drop the bar as low as you can go OP.

That way, when you are 35, single, and looking around at what you have, in part, created, you will have no one to point the finger at other than the bitter one in the mirror.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 46
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 6:46:58 AM

if a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?


Yes, it makes a sound, and when you get back home to your house that was next to the tree you didn't hear fall and find out the tree fell on your roof, you will see that hearing the sound didn't make a spit of difference.

I think this raises a more significant age old question?

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

If you snoop, can you handle the truth? This is actually a good question, what we find out by snooping has to be taken in context that the person you are snooping on might be telling someone else what they wanted to hear. Or might be trying to protect their own heart by saying to friends things aren't serious yet.

I don't think this sort of cheating is normal, but it is common. But like I asked, did you both agree not to date others, or was this assumed by you?

Lying about a commitment is much more serious than just screwing around. I don't expect someone to not date anyone else unless they specifically made a commitment not to date anyone any else. And I don't expect that I have to stop dating others unless I have agreed to not date others.

So much in the dating world is assumed, and that isn't a good way to live.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 7:31:34 AM
so, the ex not only cheated, but as a friend, he still says its respectful to get cheated on? I'd say there's a few people suffering from a self-centered view that, "its OK for me to have my cake and eat it, too." Its easy to hang out with people who don't understand what self-respect means...when you don't, either.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 49
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 10:22:45 AM

Spoke to my ex about it (we were together 6 years and are still close friends). he said that this is normal and that guys do it for a thrill. he used to do it all the time.


Your ex and your boyfriend are stupid... not all men cheat, it's not normal. I hate that "all men are bad" mentality. As a matter of fact, women cheat as much as men do, just for different primary reasons.

Women will cheat when a relationship is going south and they are no longer in love, or falling out of love - for revenge. Ever here of a woman scorned? - here ya go.

The reason most men cheat is because some lack integrity - they don't have the good intuition women do, and don't know the difference between fantasy and reality. Plus, they see the daytime TV shows which claim therapy can fix the broken relationship. Reality is, sometimes it can be repaired, sometimes it can't - it's a big gamble.

The problem is trust - you can only love someone as far as you can trust them, and you want to love a whole lot - love is the glue that keeps the relationship together. Your love for him may continue to spiral down to the point of no return.

Some relationships were there are cheating can be fixed. You have to talk about this and he has to stop cheating, period. A couple things you can do... I would recommend counseling. If that does not work, cut off sex... when he asks, "What's wrong", that's your opportunity to tell him, when he is open to really listen and change. Finally, you may have to leave the relationship for a time. Talk is cheap... when you really want to drive your point home, actions scream. Above all, he has to stop cheating - period!
 prixio
Joined: 2/10/2014
Msg: 50
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 11:15:04 AM
I suggest you either leave or agree that this is an open relationship. If you decide to have an open relationship do make sure you discuss how this will work for the two of you in practice and how you'll minimize the chance of STDs.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 51
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 11:17:55 AM
Well sound does require a receptor so no if there's nothing with hearing ability around then the sound is not heard, but it's still there. As to sticking your head in the sand so you don't have to deal with it, or using it to get attention as the victim, all ends up the same, Drama Queen status. You choose how you allow others to treat you, if this is the best you can do for yourself, then these guys will be what you seek. Your life, your choice.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 52
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 11:29:15 AM
How does he juggle the ladies without going broke??

I couldn't multitask all the lies to pull this off either.

No, this isn't normal and shame on you for even asking that.

IMHO, age doesn't mean squat when it comes to a person's behavior. Don't assume older = wiser.

On the other hand, you should be discussing your boundaries with your BF and not your ex. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'd kick his a$$ to the curb
 ForumRuler
Joined: 4/2/2013
Msg: 53
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/3/2014 12:14:38 PM
OP, you are absolutely right, that the generally guys who are easy to get and very faithful will be less attractive on average. But from the looks of your case, your guy is probably out of your league, so you probably won't be able to keep him for long anyways. Try to find another.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 55
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 4:21:25 AM
Add Valtrex to your monthly budget.

Sounds like being part of a harem is ok with you as long as he's wealthy and successful?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 57
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 6:25:21 AM
yes, your insecurity is at the root of it. obviously, you could find a better guy, but wimping out is the easier route to take. and yes, since you didn't give evidence, it was easy for him to be a sneaky fox.

no one fixes what ain't broke. he's got a hot chick on the hook, nothing's broke for him. no reason for him to let you go.
 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 58
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 6:44:44 AM
You need to watch this :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3psB9nG75sM

Then ask yourself if you're guilty of this :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcTWCFu7r6w

LOL


I don't understand why you would be scared to be alone. You're attractive enough to have offers constantly - be choosy, believe you deserve someone who will treat you with respect. Have some faith !
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 59
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:10:46 AM
OP;

in this thread you started off by asking if you should end it.

Then you said why he was attractive and no one else was to you.

Then you said why you sneaked. Then you said you should not have sneaked. Then you said he was wealthy but you didn't care that he was wealthy.

You said you liked him.

You said all men cheat.

So I guess my question to you is, why did you even start this thread? You have discounted ALL of the advice and done nothing but defend your choice and defend him as just "doing what guys do"... THEN said you are doubting yourself even because he denied it vehemently (by the way, I dated a guy for 12 weeks who claimed he was divorced free available and looking for a relationship; he had us exclusive; asked him point blank if he was sure he was divorced because something seemed "off" (he looked me dead in the eye and said he was absolutely positively divorced and fully free), only to have him eventually fess up to not only not being divorced but hadn't even told her he was going to separate yet; in other words fully married). people can be telling the truth, but if you think someone who doesn't want to be found out can't look you dead in the eye and tell you waht you want to hear, you are naive. Words are cheap; actions speak volumes).

So why DID you start this thread. You are saying every single solitary thing most ranting guys claim women believe about them (that women will put up with ANYTHING for a good looking rich guy ((the only thing you haven't said yet is how tall he is. You say that you will have hit the trifecta for being the woman a huge majority of forum guys claim ALl of us women are, and most of us aren't.

Why are you doing this topic? You haven't gotten anything out of it; and you just keep making yourself out more and more to be well, the personification of what makes a lot of guys in these parts outright enraged. Are you seriously asking this question?

If so, why aren't youlistening to ANTYHING that anyone is saying to actually HELP you, only defending yourself and your choice? I honestly don't understand the point of the thread as it stands, unless it's just to enrage the guys in here.
 WALK4ESTWALK
Joined: 3/16/2014
Msg: 61
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:41:30 AM
Also, I totally put my hands up to being a total sneak with the phone thing.

I disagree. A Total sneak would have already gone through his computer too. Don't forget the back seat of the car.
 WALK4ESTWALK
Joined: 3/16/2014
Msg: 62
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:41:47 AM
Also, I totally put my hands up to being a total sneak with the phone thing.

I disagree. A Total sneak would have already gone through his computer too. Don't forget the back seat of the car.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 63
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:51:14 AM

I think the reason why I am arguing against it all is because I'm realising that ending it is something I'm going to have to do (I'm actually seeing him tonight and will most likely do it then). I'm sad and scared and trying to find excuses not to do it but at the end of the day he has cheated and lied to my face...I can't allow that to just slide.


Ending a relationship that you thought it was perfect is always very hurtful. You are going to be in pain, no matter what. But look at it this way. Now you know he can lie to your face without flinching an eye. So when can you believe this guy again? If he is successful, he is probably very good at the art of persuasion. He will win the argument or your reasons why you should dump him. Until, either you cheat on him, or he continues to cheat on you. So then as the relationship continues, not only are you going to feel disgusted about him, but you are going to resent yourself for being weak and staying with him. You are going to feel bad for the many times you wanted to believe that he was not going to do it again. Yet he did.

So end it. Realize that he is going to try to keep it going. He is going to try to stay your friend, so he could sneak a fvck here and there. So you're going to have to completely cut him off, and be done with it.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:52:32 AM

if I hadn't looked at the phone in the first place I'd be happily none the wiser, right? possibly this is the lesson I can take away today


Very true. It'd be far better to wait and find out when another woman is coming after him for child support, or when he brings home that incurable STD for you. But hey, you'd be 'happily none the wiser' until then, right?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 65
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/4/2014 7:52:34 AM
Various posters are consistently discounting he is a handsome bad boy.
The OP and her wealthier boyfriend should totally stay together.
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