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 the_biggavell
Joined: 6/6/2014
Msg: 96
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well first of all, detach yourself from the thought that you own him in any kind of way.. his body is just not yours. Neither is his mind, and thats what you want.. the ability to have him think about you and want you.

This is your opportunity to learn about the nature of men. That despite all your abilities
We crave strange twat. Sure, you might not stay with him in the long run, but take notes and lose the ego for the time being. So you know for the next time what guys are about, on a nature level. Usually, it takes women til the age of 40 to begin to learn this.
Having a vague idea of what guys are about is not sufficient.
 LanaTownsend
Joined: 5/27/2014
Msg: 97
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/15/2014 2:00:19 PM
There's something seriously wrong if you have to ask us this question.

Didn't read the entire thread, didn't need to.
 epz33
Joined: 5/20/2014
Msg: 99
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/15/2014 2:42:08 PM
Is that the man of your dreams, the one with a cheating heart? if it is then you deserve him.
Otherwise, move on GF.
 epz33
Joined: 5/20/2014
Msg: 100
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/15/2014 2:58:59 PM
Are two good looking people disregard faithfulness and integrity?

Do you put looks above , decency and love? I'm glad you are not my BF!!
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 101
view profile
History
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/15/2014 3:28:25 PM

AliceRs89 wrote:

I'm a glutton for punishment, I really am.

there is something so desperately unattractive about men who are too easily won though, isn't there?


One thing I will say, you are definitely honest. Finally, a woman who freely admits her shallowness and stupidity for chasing Mr. Bad. This quote needs to be put up on the billboard in Times Square!!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 102
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/15/2014 9:52:23 PM
The only thing I'm reinforcing from this thing is that some women will pursue their physical needs with a 'backdoor man' and continue to find a 'provider' elsewhere. Yuck. Please don't marry the friend and divorce him later because he really was just a 'friend'
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 104
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/21/2014 8:45:56 AM
So, because it WILL come up on these forums again... This thread is the exact reason the whole "bad boy" argument comes up.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
History
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/21/2014 11:28:40 AM
Men are just as guilty of chasing 'bad' girls as women are of chasing 'bad' boys. The only people who do this are those who either love the drama and attention it gets them, or they are badly in need of professional help to show them why this keeps happening to them. A person who is looking for a nice, decent person isn't going to end up with bad boys & girls and then stay and whine about it or attempt to paint all people that way. It comes up over and over again because there are so many who mess up their own lives and want attention from it, the professional victims are on both sides because it takes two willing people and should not be assumed as the norm. There's no reason to marry someone who only sees you as a friend and then has a lover, etc., you can find all those things out by getting to know the person, their family, their friends and keeping your eyes and ears open, instead of jumping in, flouncing about in your victim-hood and blaming the gender of the person instead of the character of the person and your character for not finding this stuff out before pretending to love someone you can't even stand. While you are not responsible for the other person's lack of being a good partner, you are 100% responsible for being with them after you see who they really are. Being a willing participant makes you part of the game, not an innocent bystander. It's your job to know what you let into your life, and to know when to get it out of your life. If you have been a true victim and been taken in by a con, then leave, it's not healthy to blame all the gender. If you find you are again with the same type of loser, then it's time to get professional help and find out why you are seeking this type of person out. Bad relationships don't happen in a vacuum in countries where you choose your own mates.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 106
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/21/2014 12:25:23 PM
AliceRs89- You teach people how to treat you.
If you take him back, you have told him that he got away with cheating, that you have NO self respect and he can do it again.
Is that what you want?
Cheating IS a big deal.
I know the stats about how many people cheat.
I don't care HOW many people do it, it's one of the cruelest, most selfish things you can do to a person.
I am 45 and have NEVER cheated in a relationship, nor would I be the other woman.
I had plenty of chances, I could have justified it and said, "well every body does it", here's the thing........
Mature people don't make decisions based on what everyone else does, they make decisions based on what is the right thing to do.
I know plenty of people besides me who have been faithful.
Decide what you want in your life, decide the life you want to live. If you have ONE ounce of self respect, you will dump this jerk and look for someone who WILL be faithful to you, they DO exist.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 110
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/24/2014 8:11:17 AM

I'd suggest that any man in his mid-30s is someone you should be avoiding like the plague. Either he's at least a decade too immature for his own britches, OR he's just arrogant and c0cky enough that he's figured out how to take full advantage of women who are too young and trusting to know he can't be taken seriously. Either way, bad news for you. You're probably going to hate hearing this, but if you want an older man, wait until you're 32 and then you can date someone who's 45. Because by that time, you're going to want someone who's 25. Heh heh heh.


Yeah, this is just as bad as the bf's claim that every guy tries to cheat. Don't listen to this.

Here's a trick to guys... We don't hint. What you see is what you're going to get. If it seems like we're effortlessly getting you towards coming home with us, well it probably is effortless, and because of practice. When we're hiding our phone, or texting someone while turning the phone away from you in case you have super-human vision or something, we're hiding something in that text... Watch how the guy acts around his friends (other guys), that's who he REALLY is.

And if you think the guy is really hot, and you'd LOVE that chance with him, well so do a lot of other girls. If you go on a date, pay attention. Be careful when everything is right about him, we all have flaws.

When it comes to guys, you just have to pay attention. It'll be easy to trust them again, you just have to pay attention and make smart choices. There's a lot of stereotypes about guys based on how we dress or act that are typically true. Best advice, though, find a guy you're friends with that you trust, who isn't going to try to bang you, so preferably one that's taken, married is better, and get his opinion on guys that you're thinking about dating. We can see right through the acts.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 112
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/24/2014 9:09:09 AM

LOL what a crock. Who is this this collective We of seething manhood of which you speak? You're speaking for her ex-boyfriend now? You have inside knowledge?


Read the forums, your answer is in there thousands of times. Why do you think so many guys tend to be so annoyed when girls hint at things instead of just telling us?

Guys are typically very direct.

But you missed the point. What I was getting at is if the guy seems like he's a jerk, he's a jerk. SO many things that guys do should NOT be a surprise.
 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 113
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/24/2014 9:26:36 AM

Really disillusioned because he had actually managed to convince me that I was wrong about the cheating, to the point at which I really thought (and hoped that I was wrong).


This is what you should really take a close look at and fix. Otherwise, it will happen again. You seem to get so fixated on the idea of who someone is that you blind yourself to reality.

Try to focus more on who a person is rather than someone fitting some ideal and you'll probably stay grounded.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 114
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/24/2014 5:52:01 PM

We broke up! It was about 3 weeks ago


Oh, no! Say it ain't so !

It could take you like........DAYS to find another guy like him.


I've been so so depressed all week.


I've been on a few dates this week, like 4 or 5...


Right back on the horse, eh

I'm sure your dates are enjoying the depressed you.

Maybe take some time off and clear your head?
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 116
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/25/2014 8:54:32 AM
Don't listen to the ageism. Plenty of good guys in their mid 30s date gals in their 20s without dysfunction. For example, they like being around a gal who doesn't have baby rabies.

Hiding a phone screen could be to avoid spoiling a positive surprise, coordinating something romantic.

Hope those 4 rebound date chaps didn't suffer.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 117
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/25/2014 11:56:33 AM
To trust men? Men can say the same thing about women since they have their own way of creating double standards, or apply things to men, not women.

So my advice is simple. Trust, believe, have faith, but be careful. If you become cynical and don't trust anyone, then you will have a self fulfilling prophesy. If you give guys the benefit of the doubt, but don't buy into any bu ll sh it and when you get a red flag you act on it, you will eventually will find someone that you like.

However, make an assessment of who you tend to fall for. What are the common denominator points? Power? Money? Maturity? Control? Or... something else.

So good luck to you.
 BlueTitanium
Joined: 7/10/2014
Msg: 118
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/26/2014 7:34:39 PM
As a former supervisor once said to me:
"How many times do you have to get hit in the head befo0re your realize it hurts?"
As Dr. Phil said on his TV show:
"Once a cheater, always a cheater." Proof of this? Reference your ex's comment.
As Oprah said on her TV show:
"Past behavior is indicative of future behavior." Proof of this? Reference your ex's comment.
Still, people do stupid thing when they are "in love." Modern medical CAT scans show the brains of individuals in the state of "love" light up like brains on drugs. People do stupid things to stay high.
Hope the observation helps you to decide.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 119
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/26/2014 10:26:39 PM
e-$50 says that the OP is the kind of person who prefers to deliver bad news via text.

I love the fact that she, "broke up with the boyfriend 3 weeks ago" and now, a whole, entire, 3 weeks later (emotionally unavailable, broken, damaged, hurting, untrusting, and bitter...........................has been out with 4 or 5 (most likely) unsuspecting guys, who very well may be serious about finding their very own lil princess.

Nice way to waste their time.

I have ALWAYS said (to myself), AVOID women who have been cheated on and/or abused, because they WILL ALMOST ALWAYS look to inflict the pain (onto some unsuspecting guy), that has been inflicted onto her...................and, they ain't gonna' be very likely to (be able to) inflict that pain on a "player"......................so, it's typically the average guy, walking around oblivious, that will get kicked dead in his balls. WHAM!!!

Yes, it has been TRIED on 'Yours truly', one and a half times. (Hey, I didn't have brothers or older male relatives to 'school' me. I had to learn the hard way. You can't learn this stuff in a classroom AND You can't get a late start). Neither of the women knew..................had no way of knowing.............not even an inkling of a way to fathom......................that, while I really do NOT like to do it, I can turn ice-cold blooded, in an instant, if I am put into a position of "principle". Most recently, happened to me about 5 years ago. We were only together a 'minute'. I ignored my gut instincts. My bad. She tried to come back, tail between her legs, NOW she was 'ready' for something 'real'. She even recruited two of her aunts (who worked with me at the time), to, "Suzie Q really wants you to call her." I refused to even acknowledge the conversation and her texts went unanswered. I admit, I did rather enjoy watching her toss her dignity out the window though. The best, and only punishment I could inflict, was to deprive her of my company. And, YES, I did keep her e-mails, sorta' as a trophy. Yes, I can be petty like that.

"So what, NikonGuy, you AIN'T all that."

Maybe. Maybe not. But, I DO know this.........................."Once you've been treated really well, it's DAMNED hard to go BACK to bullsh*t." It's the emotional equivalent of being cast out of a 25-room mansion on Sutton Place in Manhattan...............................and being forced to move into a sh*tty, 2-room, cold water flat, in the Hunts Point section of the Bronx.

If this goes according to script............................One of these 4 or 5 guy rotation that she's USING (dating), will likely fall for her. She'll (lie) and tell him, she's 'into' him. In 6 months or so, he'll be all goofy, walking around, thinking, "Wow, I got a cool girlfriend." 2 days later, she'll drop the bomb on him the, "I thought I was ready. You're really a nice guy............................ Woo, woo." text. I would guess that people with little to no character prefer to deliver bad news via text.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 120
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/27/2014 2:19:39 AM
As a man I wouldn't tolerate cheating, I'd end the relationship if I found out.

And I agree, the "guys cheat" thing is just setting a low expectation for men. If a guy wants to be with another girl then ideally he should just man up and let the girl he's with know he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. Maybe easier said than done but there's no excuse for lying or dishonesty in a relationship.
 NYDistrict14
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 121
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/27/2014 8:39:07 AM
If he's not treating you well right now, you can only expect worse later on.
Whenever you're not sure of which direction a relationship will go, just remember that.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 122
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 7/27/2014 8:44:13 AM
rockin-trucker82

The "bad boy/nice guy" argument's really not all that valid. It has way more to do with a man's behavior than his actual moral character. A guy who knows how to behave a certain way and show a little charisma is what makes him sexually attractive.

The "nice guy (TM)" isn't not getting women because he's "too nice" - the "nice guy" in question is a guy who acts very wussy, dependent, or approval seeking. Plus a lot of "nice guys" aren't actually good guys - they just do 'nice things' but only to get people's approval or "make them like him".
 Irresistable2U
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 123
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:53:58 PM
I just saw this. I Hope you broke up with the jerk. Your ex sounds just as bad. It is not normal or done all the time. The right guy will be faithful. You made a commitment right? Do you sleep around?
The only thing you are doing is letting this guy treat you like garbage. You are only as good as how you let others treat you. Don't you deserve respect? If you want an open relationship then that needs to be mutual and public. (FYI - even these usually end badly).
I can only hope you got the courage to do the right thing and kick this guy to the curb.
If you were lied to now, how will you ever believe what he tells you from now on?
 Irresistable2U
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 124
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/7/2014 10:01:18 PM
PS I just read further. Congrats on the breakup. We are supposed to be sad or depressed after a breakup. You did lose someone - even though it was the absolute right thing to do.
Dating right after a break up is a bad idea. If you are mourning the loss of your ex, you will just attract more of the same... jerks.
Take some time to heal and make You happy. Join something You enjoy doing. Not a club to meet guys. Once you feel better you can start searching for Good Guts. They are out there somewhere. Best of luck to you!
 One_hipcat
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 125
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:08:25 AM
Relationships are about trust, if you have to play detective it's time to move on.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 126
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:51:45 AM
Just for everyone's info....even if a profile is hidden, it can be accessed from the forums.

OP....fundamentally, this cheating thing is okay with you.

You've seen it before. Did Dad cheat on Mum?

If you hadn't seen someone that has been cheated on turn a blind eye, or ignore it...or whatever.....you wouldn't be here asking the question.

It wouldn't be okay, and you wouldn't be contemplating letting yourself be treated like that.

You need to unlearn whatever relationship you witnessed in the past, and re-align yourself with a new attitude that doesn't allow for cheating.

Or you will find yourself in the same type of relationship over.....and over......
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 127
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/9/2014 2:27:06 PM
HI, OP -
I am sorry you live in the UK.
We don't have these types of dilemmas in the USA.
We just buy a gun and shoot the Mofo.

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