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 One_hipcat
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 125
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Relationships are about trust, if you have to play detective it's time to move on.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 126
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:51:45 AM
Just for everyone's info....even if a profile is hidden, it can be accessed from the forums.

OP....fundamentally, this cheating thing is okay with you.

You've seen it before. Did Dad cheat on Mum?

If you hadn't seen someone that has been cheated on turn a blind eye, or ignore it...or whatever.....you wouldn't be here asking the question.

It wouldn't be okay, and you wouldn't be contemplating letting yourself be treated like that.

You need to unlearn whatever relationship you witnessed in the past, and re-align yourself with a new attitude that doesn't allow for cheating.

Or you will find yourself in the same type of relationship over.....and over......
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 127
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/9/2014 2:27:06 PM
HI, OP -
I am sorry you live in the UK.
We don't have these types of dilemmas in the USA.
We just buy a gun and shoot the Mofo.

 shy_annnne
Joined: 4/7/2014
Msg: 128
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:57:21 AM
"outgrow" lying and cheating?? that is news to me.
you know he is cheating and lying to you and his new "girl".
whether or not you should end it (i have to ask, end what?) is up to you.
if you agree with your ex that his behavior is normal and guys do it for a thrill..and you can live with that, then continue to see him.
 RustyS53
Joined: 7/11/2014
Msg: 130
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/9/2015 10:48:50 PM
Too many things seem to be wrong about the situation with your boyfriend cheating for you to ever work things out with him and avoid this in the future. RUN!!! Find someone who you can trust, someone who values you and your relationship more than this guy evidently does. Staying with this guy will only lead to more heartbreak. And do you think you can ever trust him really after this?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 131
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/9/2015 11:07:49 PM
AiceRs89- Oh, young Alice, the 46 year old me wants to take you and shake you a little bit.
You know the answer to this already, surely?!
What are you waiting for?
To find out he's given you an STD?
It's not about you, it never was.
I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but COME ON!
He's a dog.
Do you want to be a door mat?
If the answer is yes, then by all means, forgive him, sign up for more bs.
If not, DUMP HIS SORRY HIDE!
You deserve better, you know it, at least I hope you do.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 132
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/9/2015 11:14:09 PM

she has ended it with him, since she has found out that I exist now (accidentally also), but I really can't trust him now.

You "really" can't trust him? LOL. Yeah, us guys are allowed 3 strikes, then we're out. That was only one girl he banged. It's all good.

Spoke to my ex about it (we were together 6 years and are still close friends).

Ummm, not a good idea. It'd be one thing if you were 45 and much of that relationship wasn't all that emotionally serious when really young. You're 25. Either way, not a good idea to have them as close friends unless he was gay or something. New guys you're seeing shouldn't approve of that. One needs to Let Go of their ex, which means no continuance of any Relationship when the post-breakup process is finally Done.

he said that this is normal and that guys do it for a thrill. he used to do it all the time.

LOL. "Yeah babe, I cheated on you all the time! So glad I did, because after you dumped me, I would have felt like a jacka$$ not jumping on that poontang!" ;) Seriously -- he said that? WOW. No, it's not normal & cool to do. It does happen unfortunately too often, but no, it's not the Norm to have a girl on-the-side while having a GF.

is it a big deal? this guy is like 12 years older than me so I had hoped he might have grown out of all that stuff by now....

You really have to ask that question? You mine as well be asking "When my BF hits me in the face, it doesn't happen a lot though, is it a big deal?" Seriously?? Don't take advice from 6-year relationship ex's! WOW.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 133
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/10/2015 3:38:53 AM
Another one of those definitive threads that illustrate why the state of affairs so to speak of relationships is so screwed up.
 TopEighty
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 134
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:17:54 AM
lol if you're bf is a good looking guy in the top 20% of course he's gonna keep cheating. He has easy access of women if he's in the top 20%. Learn to share.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 137
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/10/2015 2:17:59 PM
The problem is when women stay with cheaters it is because of financial reasons, still loving the guy and finding hard to let go despite what he has done, having children to raise etc.

. Many people forgive an infidelity if it is a one off or turn a blind eye because they do not want to disrupt their lifestyle. The French have the right attitude, as well as other cultures, there is the wife and the mistress and everyone knows about it and the wife may also have a lover but that is when the couple are no longer in love, if they ever were. Horses for courses.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 138
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/12/2015 8:44:17 AM

The problem is when women stay with cheaters it is because of financial reasons, still loving the guy and finding hard to let go despite what he has done, having children to raise etc.


If you actually have a problem with it, there's no reason for staying with anyone that's cheating other than pure stupidity. It's that simple. There's no excuse, you're making the choice. Just live up to that choice. You're with him because you're making a terrible choice. Because you'd rather be with a guy cheating on you than be single.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 139
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:41:03 AM


I was doing it as a bit of a distraction, and it kind of worked, but I think in more of a sticking plaster sense.

My mum keeps telling me to join a book club or something 'to meet a nice young man' i.e not another lying banker w@nker (or equivalent) who'll just mess me around. She's right, of course.

...London can be a very difficult city to meet decent men in. A lot of big guys( with even bigger egos), and a hellova lot of choice/competition.


I'll say it again.

You have a college degree, and a good job. It's time for you to set your ship on a different course. Become a leader to yourself. Set better goals, and set out to achieve them.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 140
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/12/2015 10:11:58 AM
"there's no reason for staying with anyone that's cheating other than pure stupidity. It's that simple. There's no excuse...."

My guess that applies to taking somebody back after he or she cheated - right?

In reality it happens and often. I bet even a couple here cheated but will never admit it. There are lots of reasons to take back a cheater other than 'pure stupidity'.

I was a blue collar worker without a degree engaged to a white collar beauty with some title after a Bachelors Degree. She had an affair with a co-worker (a lawyer). I took her back, but marriage was then out of the question - for me. I made that clear to her. (The reason should be apparent.)

There were many reasons I got back with her and I certainly DON'T regret it. Over the following 18 years I had the time of my life. I was a very lucky guy. And I realize if that lawyer wanted to marry her - I would have been history. That didn't bother me. But her success tale involving the guy being impotent kinda hurt. That wasn't something to boast about.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 142
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/12/2015 6:00:49 PM


is it a big deal? this guy is like 12 years older than me so I had hoped he might have grown out of all that stuff by now..


That's a big mistake, also your relationship is a dumpster fire at this point. Just evacuate and evade - do not look back, do not make further agony out of an obviously failed relationship.
 Dan198508
Joined: 11/7/2014
Msg: 143
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/13/2015 8:55:10 AM
He grows out of it when he dies.
 Positiv4u
Joined: 12/5/2014
Msg: 144
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/17/2015 1:45:39 PM
Up to you. I would say yes. But you may be more forgiving that I am. Cheaters usually continue that behavior even if they are caught and confronted....
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 145
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/17/2015 3:06:42 PM
I tend to agree with AliceRs89

Lack of opportunity and or fear of the consequences would make many a man monogamous by default. A man may make a concerted effort to be faithful but in my experience, not many.

Men cheat for an ego boost, because the opportunity was there and not necessarily because they do not love their partners. As they say, it often does not mean more than just the sex.

When women cheat, it can be revenge, because they are not happy with their spouse and rarely would they do it if they were content at home. Correct me if I am wrong, ladies.
 matthew83co
Joined: 2/11/2015
Msg: 146
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/17/2015 8:14:19 PM

Found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with someone who clearly thinks that she is the only girl in his life. None of his friends know about this girl and I am the 'public' girlfriend, however I know that he has been sleeping with her very recently (I went through his phone). she has ended it with him, since she has found out that I exist now (accidentally also), but I really can't trust him now.


I would end the relationship. There is going to be trust issues. You'll haunt yourself with the "where is this person" and "who is this person with" whether you believe it or not.


Spoke to my ex about it (we were together 6 years and are still close friends). he said that this is normal and that guys do it for a thrill. he used to do it all the time.


Well, your ex is a little boy who doesn't understand how to be a real man. Real men are faithful, vigilant, and wait for the woman they love to be ready for more physical intimacy. Did half of the "men" these days forget that intimacy comes in the flavors of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and non-sexual physical?


is it a big deal? this guy is like 12 years older than me so I had hoped he might have grown out of all that stuff by now....


Numerical age does not equal emotional age.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 147
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 2/20/2015 6:13:41 AM

Unfortunately the kind of guys who are die hard faithfuls also tend (in my experience) to be the less attractive ones. Perhaps they are so grateful to have a girlfriend that they don't want to risk it??


So, your choices are:
1. Learn to deal just being the side piece, or
2 build a life with an ugly guy?

As Batman would say: "poor deluded child".
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 148
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/8/2015 11:30:22 PM
Yes you should end it. He has no respect for you or that other girl. Have you confronted him about it? Honestly, once a cheater always a cheater. If you forgive him, you could very well be cheated on again and you shouldn't be with anyone that operates like that.
 pelthor
Joined: 10/13/2012
Msg: 149
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my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/10/2015 1:47:55 PM
its not a normal thing for guys, its a normal thing for some men and some women first of all to correct your friend. if he somehow makes you happy dont ditch him, if it hurts you than ditch him.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 150
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/10/2015 4:45:43 PM
No, do NOT end it.

There is a solution to this problem, and it's called marriage. Marry him!

Do it now!
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 151
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/10/2015 6:43:08 PM

No, do NOT end it.

There is a solution to this problem, and it's called marriage. Marry him!

Do it now!


Blink...

Actually, Pigs, that was brilliant. Normal reaction is going to be, "Oh helllll no" in which case she should ask herself why is she hanging around? Cut him loose.
Even better, if she pushes marriage he will run like a jackrabbit..problem solved.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 152
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/11/2015 7:32:19 AM
yes, by all means. that's the answer^^^^^

marriage will change him into a loyal and honest man!
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 153
my boyfriend is cheating on me...should I end it?
Posted: 4/11/2015 7:38:51 AM
Interesting ideas from people here.

I had another one a bit outside the box. Does this cheating actually bother you OP? Since you are still with him maybe it's not the actual sex part that bothers you, and you should consider a discussion around having an open relationship.

On which case, as pig says, marry him! Just have your ground rules laid down.

Even the discussion would be revealing. For some guys it isn't the sex of cheating it's the getting away with something. Once it's allowed, and not secret, it isn't nearly as fun. For others, it is totally about the sex. Or it could be about the fear of commitment, or not wanting to commit to YOU.

Either way, just discussing having an open relationship would give you a lot more information to go on. Or you could just leave him of course. Best of luck.
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