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Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 50
When to cut the Umbilical cordPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Wow this post sort of took a detour, but at any rate, thanks for the input, although I wasn't looking to be preached at, I got the expected response from most I figured, and others I couldn't really care less what they wrote, because they usually type up 3 or 4 paragraphs of drivel with a point somewhere in the haystack, which I'm not interested in looking for. As for the ones who answer without kids or any desire to date, not even sure why you would throw in your 2 cents, but I suppose that's why it's an open forum, the ones that can't..try to teach.

Miss snatch, when I say recent, I meant as in most recent, as in the latest gf...not someone I met recently at the bar the night before, i was with my wife a total of 18 years, first partner for both of us, so excuse me if I want to live a little now.
So I have had a few girlfriends over a span of 10 years, if that makes me a slvt, I guess I'm not alone in that group. It seems some just come on here to pretend they're dating site shrinks, or perhaps to practice their stand up routines and see how many emoticons they can squeeze into one post, well whatever entertains you I suppose, but anyone who has been on here since Markus started up the site shouldn't be trying to give advice on dating or pointing fingers.

I admit I am just relearning this whole dating game, if I make mistakes along the way, so be it.
and unlike what Igor projects, I wasn't talking of having sex on the table, against the bannister or hanging from the ceiling fan, I just didn't see anything wrong with 2 adults wanting too spend the night together, with their door shut, being discreet. and I don't have a hungry d*ck VK, so I enjoy sex with a woman I've known for a while and have been out on a few dates with...sue me! geez some people gotta get off of here and get a life and stop hangin out to save the world from OLD, it's worked very well for me, I'm not into the bar scene, or harassing women while they shop for groceries...what's left for options??
Thanks for everyone's feedback

Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 51
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:08:33 AM
Some are confusing the difference between " not caring what the neighbours think of their sex lives " and "societal good". I know I have volunteered my time and money for 30 some odd years with various charities, soup kitchens, I buy homeless guys sandwiches, I donate money to places like the Red Cross for disaster relief, I help my neighbours, my son, my friends children, I vote. I DO believe that it takes a village.... WTF has this got to do with the topic at hand. How is my sex life going to contribute to the downfall of my country, your country or the world? And I must correct you; yes, the U.S. has some bearing on our Canadian culture but not as much as you'd like to think. We are similar yet so different and it's "different" in a good way.

Like the other poster from Canada; I quit worrying about how others will judge me a long, long time ago. I have my own moral compass and my "bar" is set much higher than many.

To Mr. Forumfella who started this post - walk you own walk and date at a pace you and your lady are comfortable with. Good luck.
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 52
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:09:27 AM

ForumFellaTheSequel...clarification spoken like a true gentleman. Good update post.
Dating as adults is certainly a "balancing act" when others are in the household mix.
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 53
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:16:08 AM

So I have had a few girlfriends over a span of 10 years, if that makes me a slvt

No one has called you that at all. You are putting words in someone's (?) mouth.
The point people are making is that you have shown lack of RESPECT for the parameters of being a guest in someone's house and that not wanting to sleep with you while co-habitating with her children is NOT necessarily driven by some fear of what others will think as it may be in establishing and maintaining a constant and "safe" atmosphere for child-rearing and promoting an example that she has worked many years to establish.
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 54
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:19:34 AM
In Msg 55, the OP bashes and judges people without kids and other people who posted on this thread.

If you only want your fellow parents to see / post, make your future threads in the Single Parents section. I for one never visit there.

If you do post a new thread in the general forums, think up a thread title that reflects your desired discussion. Your title about the umbilical cord is ambiguous. I think of adults who are still attached to their parents.

Sorry we didn't all react the way you wanted. Next time, post in the proper section and think up a headline that reflects the specific focus of your discussion.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 55
view profile
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/8/2014 1:36:27 PM
I think guests should respect the wishes of the homeowner. If they feel more comfortable with you in the guest room when the family is home, then you have the choice to stay or leave. Why should it impact your relationship, they did kindly offer a convenient lodging to you after a late night out.
Some people are very discreet when dating, I know I am. You obviously wouldn't think twice about having your girlfriend stay over, fine. But that does not mean she considers it to be a comfortable situation. My BF often asked me to spend the weekend years ago when his kids were there, I never did. To me it felt strange.
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 56
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/26/2014 11:38:16 AM
I don't understand why you'd be sleeping
Over at all if she has no intention of having sex with
You. Let alone in the same house as her daughter.

I would guess it means she's just not that
Into you or sex and using her kids to avoid it.

After my divorce I waited a year to adjust
then moved my guy into my house after our
First date!

I had 3 kids under 18 in my home and
No issues with having sex as often as I wanted!

My sex life had and has nothing to do
With my kids!!! It's not like I'm on the living room
Floor! Close the door and get over yourself lady!

There is no good reason to be discreet or hide
Who you are from kids!!
They aren't that stupid or fragile!
And if they are then they've been taught
That sex is dirty and that's more shameful
Than having sex with someone's mother!

Divorce is a change for all involved but my
Kids were having sex as teens in my house
Why the hell shouldn't i?

Don't date such uptight women and stop ignoring
Red flags!

YOU should cut the cord from the women if they won't
Stop pretending to be virgins in thier kids eyes.
Sneaking around was fun anyways!

Oh and ya.... Born and raised in LA without religious brainwashing
and never Uptight about sex! ; )
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 57
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/26/2014 12:24:05 PM
The OP and Message# 57
A match made in Heaven?

Kids were having sex as teens in my house

sex is a wonderful gift that consenting ADULTS give each other. Teens-whether yours or somebody else's- having sex under your roof is not something I'd call a point of pride. Under certain circumstances it could have landed your butt in jail( yes this actually happened to someone I know in real life).
Did you also allow teens to drink in your house?
Was that a point of pride with you also?

It's not teaching kids that sex is dirty, it's about teaching kids to handle what can be a powerful and even life-changing experience(if conception occurs) with RESPECT and a degree of wisdom and reponsibility.

Regardless of what anyone else thinks, the OPs' friend was out of her comfort zone with having sex in her home with her children there. It was her house and she had every right to say no, and I think most of us understand where she was coming from.
If you as an adult handle sex injudiciously or irresponsibly, don't go crying to somebody if your children also handle sex that way and wind up dealing with some consequence.
Cindy O
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 58
view profile
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/26/2014 12:45:52 PM
There you go OP, as #57 shows you, you have been dating the wrong kind of women, find out upfront whether sex is allowed in their home with their children around. Problem solved. There is no reason to think that posting some slams against women who won't have sex with you on your terms will change their minds, just don't date women who don't see things your way.
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 59
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/27/2014 6:45:20 AM
I do take pride in my choices with my kids despite
Your judgment.❤️
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 60
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/27/2014 9:17:00 AM

There is no good reason to be discreet or hide
Who you are from kids!!
They aren't that stupid or fragile!
And if they are then they've been taught
That sex is dirty and that's more shameful
Than having sex with someone's mother!

I think people are misunderstanding what HeartOn said to mean having sex IN FRONT of the kids.

I am also in a relationship with a woman that has two boys. The older one is at that age in which he is becoming aware of what sex is. At least they have talked about it in school. We do not expose the kids to our sex life, but we do not hide our sense of caring for each other. Or that we sleep together in the same bed. We kiss and hold hands in public and in front of the kids.

Perhaps this is what HeartOn meant.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 61
When to cut the Umbilical cord
Posted: 8/27/2014 9:48:35 AM
If we go back to the OT and some of the other posts on page 1, it's about a specific situation or a type of situation.

I don't think we are talking-if we are referring to the OT-about adults in a committed and caring relationships having sex. Nobody's talking about having sex in front of the kids, for Pete's sake. Just because some of us don't support serial casual sex encounters, or like the idea of teen-agers having sex with parental approval & encouragement....doesn't mean we are moronic.

The OP apparently has been dating around and expects that there will be sex in the home of his partner of the moment.
I think perhaps it might even be a case of these women using their children as an excuse to avoid a casual sex encounter.
Guess what? While there is nothing whatsoever wrong about casual sex between consenting adults who know what they are doing-some people just don't care to participate in CASUAL sex or sex with an uncertain outcome. And it is their perfect right to NOT have sex under those circumstances. Children at home or in close contact, would be a good delaying tactic while the lady sorts out just where an involvement is going WITHOUT having to get into discussions that would result in her being accused of being prudish or arguments that she OWES the guy sex.
OP, if it's so important to have sex with your dating partner, why not go too YOUR house? As far as weekends away,
I think many sensible women are not going to get involved in that until they have a better sense of where the thing is going.
My problem with one post to this thread is the idea of teenagers being permitted and perhaps even encouraged to have sex with parental approval.

Sorry, spent a few years helping families deal with getting their pregnant teenage daughter on welfare.
Sorry, saw an adult female acquaintance get in trouble with the law for allowing teenagers to drink and have sex under her roof.
Yes, sometimes teenagers ARE in serious relationships and even get married, But for the most part I don't think they have the wisdom and the sense of responsibility to handle casual sex.

I would like to add this thought to the mix, that perhaps the woman in question wasn't sure where she stood with the OP, was concerned she was the pump of the week and didn't want to do sportf*cking in circumstances that might send a contradictory message to her kids.
With kids, it ain't what you say, it's what you do. After the age of 10 or thereabouts, "Do as I say and not as I do" isn't gonna fly with kids.
Cindy O
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