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 sunsetsam
Joined: 8/25/2014
Msg: 76
To reply to generic messages or not??Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Do you really expect people to believe you?


Oh come on Coma, don't be so jealous, if he says it then it must be true and I believe everything everyone says here ESPECIALLY if it's regarding how studly they are and how they've been with SO MANY gorgeous women ESPECIALLY if he needs to mention it in every post at every opportunity - LOL

Now chill out and sing :


"Well he loved plenty women from Canada to Mexico
They would to love to see him coming and hated when he had to go
A macho man before macho ever came to town
The only problem was not enough of him to go around

You know he had had more romances than L.A.'s got stars
He had had more romances than Detroit's got cars
He's a, a legend in his own mind and God's gift to women
On a day God wasn't giving up a thing

Well you hate to see him coming when you're grooving at your favorite bar
He's the death of the party and a self-proclaimed superstar
Got permanent Jones to assure you he's been everywhere
A show stopping name dropping answer to the ladies' prayers

To hear him telling he had more romances than doctors got bills
He had had more romances than Beverly got Hills
He's a, a legend in his own mind and God's gift to women
On a day God wasn't giving up a thing

You don't have to listen when he's rattling on, yeah
You don't have to listen, he's telling everybody else
You don't have to believe him, I don't think I'll ever believe him
Matter of fact he may well not believe himself "
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 77
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/19/2014 11:52:04 AM
Coma_White, you're conflating a scenario of picking up chicks at a bar with the intentions someone has while trying to find a connection via OLD. They're not the same.

If I was at a bar and "available", and one of these Very Attractive women approached me and simply said "Hi", of course I would be open to it. That's why I'm at the bar, to take advantage of opportunities to get to know people that are *right there in front of me*. Dating sites, no. There's a significantly greater amount of difficulty and investment to get to know someone and arrive at a face to face meeting with someone that's actually as attractive as they would have you believe online. Sorry that my free time is limited, that I am actually more interested in a person's character and personality, and that, yes, I have a filter to help me mitigate all that. Sorry if that is all so hard to believe.

Also, for those of you issuing passive-aggressive retorts, I ask you to consider: would what I am saying be considered so silly if it was coming from a woman? Or are your responses here just transparent admissions that you feel that, yes, men are just desperate losers who should respond to someone just because of their picture. Attitudes like those go a long way to explaining some of the results I see detailed on these forums.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 78
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/19/2014 12:15:40 PM
I don’t send generic messages, but anyone who thinks an unattractive person sending him or her an outstanding email will lead him or her to respond is fooling him or herself. You know you’re not going to respond to that email, or at most, you’re going to say, “Thanks for the great email, but I’m sorry, we’re not a match.” So what is the point of demanding impressive first emails from every guy if it’s not going to make any difference in the vast majority of cases?

Though NDTFan is half right about something: most OLD problems would go away if men didn’t send messages to women who won’t find them attractive. Of course, in many cases, that requires EXCELLENT MIND READING SKILLS, because the extreme case she cites is so rare. The reality still is, most OLD problems (particularly with “generic” or abusive messages) would go away if most OLD sites required advance approval of communication by both parties before messaging is allowed. What, that’s never going to happen on POF and us whining for it to happen in the forums won’t change anything? Well, guess what else is never going to happen on POF: men not sending messages to women who don’t find them attractive, because women whining about that isn’t going to lead to the site completely changing its revenue model that’s geared toward exactly that either. Yet, women keep right on whining about it.

NTDFan: So every guy you dated you thought was attractive, right? Or else you wouldn’t have dated them, right? And pretty much every guy you dated turned out to be a jerk, right? (Current beau currently excepted.)

Doesn’t this say more about you than it does about the behavior of some unattractive men on this website? Why are you so angry about “inappropriate” men contacting you on a dating website if it’s the men you find attractive that have done the most damage to you?

Dee: Well, in about 10 years, most of NDTFan’s “10,000 emails” troubles will be over, so we won’t worry about her backhanded slap at your appearance.

Coma White: LOL at Angry Dad!

“Dating sites, no. There's a significantly greater amount of difficulty and investment to get to know someone and arrive at a face to face meeting with someone that's actually as attractive as they would have you believe online. Sorry that my free time is limited, that I am actually more interested in a person's character and personality, and that, yes, I have a filter to help me mitigate all that.”

Why are you making women jump through more hoops online than in real life situations? What the heck is the difference in the final result (a date/relationship)?

Why does everybody getting lots of interest on dating websites want to make everyone jump through hoops for a date? Isn't dating difficult enough without creating a bunch of unnecessary obstacles in this maze?
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 79
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:52:17 PM

What constitutes a "good picture"? Just curious..


A photo that includes your entire body. In your profile you have three head shots.
I don't know about other men but every time I've entertained head-shot-only women, especially those that are clearly cropped at the neck, well it just doesn't go well from there.


"+100, if any guy says he won't reply when an attractive woman simply says hello or hi too break the ice, he's either lying...or gay"
Wrong.
Some men have standards in addition to libidos.


I don't see how it is compromising standards to simply respond to a generic 'hello' message from an attractive woman when one wouldn't from an unattractive woman. It's that the risk/reward ratio is better with the attractive one. It might turn out to be worth it. If she shows no further promise from there, then standards are involved. The odds are really bad with generic messages, but it's worth the gamble with someone who is attractive. Think about all the people who don't play the lotto unless the prize is very high. Same way of thinking.


So in order for men we don't want to write us better messages we probably won't want to read (because they're from men we don't want to write us)... WE have to compromise.


No compromise. Just a write a profile with something to go on. But if you don't want messages from men who will actually take the time to write something nice, something unique, then yeah a profile of generic statements is perfect.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 80
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:39:48 PM

So in order for men we don't want to write us better messages we probably won't want to read (because they're from men we don't want to write us)... WE have to compromise.


No, not at all. But if you want us to actually read the profile and look for things in common, doesn't it make sense to actually list interests and things about yourself instead of the common "ask me"? You'd be amazed how many women's profiles on this site completely lack any substance at all. But you can probably get a decent guess at their bra size, they give you enough angles to really get an idea. The thong pic is another big one. The girl is almost naked. Then when you scroll down, all her about me says is "Not looking for sex". What are we honestly supposed to say to these girls to start a conversation, "My last girlfriend had the same bra."?

You don't have to compromise, you just have to put in equal effort as you expect men to when it comes to writing the profile.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 81
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/21/2014 11:49:30 AM
Tough call on this one.... I mean, I guess you'd want them to say a little something, but, it's sort of unnatural as the FIRST conversation ever, even if electronically transmitted.

Ultimately, think about how conversation would start in the real world. So, I have to agree with daysleeper5:


The way it would start in person at a party, BBQ or whatever would likely be, "Hi, I'm..."


Yes, absolutely in agreement 100%. That IS how a natural, in-person conversation would start.

Sure, sometimes it might be easy to add something else based on the person's profile, but sometimes it's still REALLY freaking hard! It doesn't even have to be one of those profiles that's very short or says very little, even the more fully developed ones tell you a lot about a woman, but don't really give you a good idea on how to write a first message that would NOT be how a normal conversation would start.

I would say that, of the messages I've gotten that were initiated by women, a good 70% of them were simple, one-sentence greetings. And yes, quite a few even just "Hi" or "Hello" or something like that.
 lelenc1
Joined: 9/10/2014
Msg: 82
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/21/2014 1:04:58 PM

anyone who thinks an unattractive person sending him or her an outstanding email will lead him or her to respond is fooling him or herself.
Let me reword it so the pronoun-relationships describe the positions better: "Anyone who who is unattractive and sends an outstanding email to a gorgeous person, AND expects a reply, is fooling their own self."

Ahem.

I am a highly unattractive guy. Even if I were not, I'd have to overcome women's aversion to short guys. I'm 5'4".

I never once had a woman convinced to go out on a date with me on PoF, and I used it on-and-off for ten years.

ONCE a woman liked me. She was about 5'10", swelte, blonde, slim to athletic in build, but feminine, very. She was gorgeous. She had seven or eight pics up on the site. She was a doctor, a physician. I contacted her and we chatted all night. Six or seven hour straight, we kept on exchanging messages. We laughed our heads off, and said witty and interesting things to each other. She obviously did not mind my physical fails.

Then I went to sleep at six in or eight in the morning, and woke up and decided to delete my account. This was too good to believe. I believed it at the time, but felt inadequate. Now I am more positive that it must have been a guy, about 2'3", a quadriplegic, who drools constantly and has to be disempacted daily despite his incontinence.

So miracles do happen.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 83
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/22/2014 6:54:39 AM

if any guy says he won't reply when an attractive woman simply says hello or hi too break the ice, he's either lying...or gay


I wouldn't reject a physically attractive woman because of a "Hi" or "How are you?"message. But I have rejected them because of other reasons such as distance.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 84
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/22/2014 7:09:24 AM

No, not at all. But if you want us to actually read the profile and look for things in common, doesn't it make sense to actually list interests and things about yourself instead of the common "ask me"? You'd be amazed how many women's profiles on this site completely lack any substance at all. But you can probably get a decent guess at their bra size, they give you enough angles to really get an idea. The thong pic is another big one. The girl is almost naked.

But please don't stop


What are we honestly supposed to say to these girls to start a conversation, "My last girlfriend had the same bra."?

I've never used that line, but I do like it I was just a little more positive "my new girlfriend wears that same bra."
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 85
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/22/2014 8:29:28 AM
.
In fact, it is a cliche, but my experience has proven that the less attractive people have often done more to develop themselves, and therefore, I am *less* inclined to contact those with prettier pictures..


- Actually, this gentleman is correct... generally, as looks go up, high maintenance tends to go up.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 86
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/22/2014 10:27:40 AM
^^^^
I would not necessarily say maintenance as much as their bar is set to a higher standard...but HM, heck you can rule those women out easily just by a glance at their profile as HM women just can't conceal it...nor do they wish too.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 87
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Posted: 9/22/2014 7:11:35 PM
rockin-trucker82 wrote:


What are we honestly supposed to say to these girls to start a conversation, "My last girlfriend had the same bra."?


I . . I am ashamed to say that I missed this one when I read this thread.... and it is HILARIOUS!

Seems like it'd be a GREAT opening line - but I don't think the humor would be appreciated, sadly.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 88
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/22/2014 9:44:26 PM
Gotta love those HM women that are 10 years older and hanging out with fat guido slobs...

They stare at me when while I'm dancing and I laugh inside knowing that they settled on some rich dude...

hahahahahahhaha
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 89
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 7:06:39 AM

A photo that includes your entire body. In your profile you have three head shots.
I don't know about other men but every time I've entertained head-shot-only women, especially those that are clearly cropped at the neck, well it just doesn't go well from there.


You may have a point there, but if a guy is worried that I have an ENORMOUS azz or am hiding a deformity of some kind, I'm really NOT interested in getting to know him...
As for my photo, being "clearly cropped at the neck" nope, that was just the way they were taken as was the one behind the desk. I figure that men can understand that a head shot like those indicate that I'm NOT overweight, last time I checked you don't just gain weight on your BODY, it will show in your face,too.
Of course I am assuming that is what the "just doesn't go well from there" is referring to...

Anyway...I'm not interested in putting up pics of myself in lingerie, or thongs,or bathing suits etc. That really isn't the kind of man that I am hoping to attract...Actually, I was being facetious about not getting 10000 emails a day...I have been on this planet as a female since birth...I'm NOT naive enough to NOT know that the women who ARE getting those 10000 emails are probably displaying their "wares" to potential prospects, because it's easy and it works in most cases...
I figure that I'm worth at LEAST a conversation and/or a cup of coffee for a man to reject me, however... :)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 90
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 7:55:26 AM
As for my photo, being "clearly cropped at the neck" nope, that was just the way they were taken as was the one behind the desk. I figure that men can understand that a head shot like those indicate that I'm NOT overweight, last time I checked you don't just gain weight on your BODY, it will show in your face,too.


Sometimes the extra weight can be more easily seen on your body though. I have seen women with pretty faces. Based on their face photos, I first thought that they were somewhat overweight. But when I saw a full body shot of them, they were actually obese.
 sunsetsam
Joined: 8/25/2014
Msg: 91
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 8:15:56 AM

if a guy is worried that I have an ENORMOUS azz or am hiding a deformity of some kind, I'm really NOT interested in getting to know him


Both genders want to see a body shot to see that the person is at least in REASONABLY good shape – is that TOO much to ask ?

Once a person meets someone who had only head shots on their profile and they turned out to be UNREASONABLY obese they don’t want to make the same mistake TWICE.

“ fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME “
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 92
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 9:20:23 AM
^^

Back in the 'good old days' (for me, 4.5 years ago, when I first joined PoF, naive as all h*ll ) I only posted 1 picture - a head shot.

One guy wrote to me who had NO picture at all. But he was appropriately funny, we communicated for a few weeks and eventually met. We went out for nearly 2.5 years.

Now, after reading the forums and having been 'schooled' on the ways of OLD, I make sure I have several full body shots taken within the last couple months so no one will have to guess what might lurk below.

As for me? I feel like I'm an unpaid investigator for the show 'Catfish' -- I've started using google image search and yikes! In the past few weeks I've had more communication from scam/fake picture profiles than real ones!

In one case a man from VA and one from OH both used the SAME male model's pictures. lol.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 93
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 4:01:25 PM

Maybe that is the problem with NDT Fan, she thinks all men are like the ones from Newfoundland.


I don't think all men anything, you're being overly defensive. You like to play the victim so much, that it's overriding your common sense.


And, I don't buy the whole "women being efficient thing".


I don't care what you buy or don't. Either you take the answer or not. But I do have something you should think about.

You have 15 minutes and you walk into a mall with an idea of what you want... say, a shirt. You know what your size is, and you know which colours you like, and you know which styles you've already tried and don't suit you. You get inside the door and there are HUNDREDS of salespeople coming up to you, all trying to get your attention at once. Most just stand in front of you and hold out their shirts (the generic hi messages). Some of them come up to announce that even though they don't usually sell their shirts to people like you, they'll consider it. Some call you down to the dirt... and as you're telling them no, or trying to walk around them, some of them are wheeling back to tell you that it doesn't matter and you SHOULD want their shirt. That you're fat, or ugly, or stupid, etc. Even more are telling you to just try on their shirts, because even though it's the wrong size, or colour, or it's a style that doesn't suit you (and you KNOW it)... you MIGHT like it if you just (please) tried it on (please) and don't try to tell them that you don't have the time (please) or that you can tell right away (please) that you won't like it (please). Because they're more interested in the sale and try you lie to you (or delude themselves) that THEY have the best shirt in the world and no other shirt in the world will look as good on you as it does.


Remember, probably only 3 or 4 shirts in that whole mall in the right size, in a colour that you like, and with a style that will flatter you. And you have 15 minutes. After having this overwhelming, creepy experience more than a couple of times, you'd stop going back right?



Just a LOT of people you're not interested in sleeping with trying to tell you that you really do, deep down. I'm going to ignore the people that I know won't suit me, just like I'd ignore the salesman holding that orange shirt (It makes me look sallow), that comes with a super baggy waist (they wrap around me), that's too short, or tight in the behind or too loose in the back.... it doesn't mean that all those other shirts are terrible (or the men either) but they'd be better off looking for people willing to wear them. And if they're a shirt that looks like 70s wallpaper they should know not many people will wear it (just like not a lot of 18 year olds models are going to sleep with men older than their fathers, with giant bellies and bad attitudes).


Well, that's what POF is like for women.

And being a man here is like going to the mall for a certain shirt in a certain color, and then getting mad at the salesperson because you keep going back with a 5 dollar bill for a 40 dollar shirt that is 3 sizes too small and is sold out anyway. These "bad experiences" are mostly self-inflicted for men aren't they?

And there's no amount of "but that's SHALLOW" from people I'm not going to sleep with that's going to convince me to waste my time doing anything else.


Patch, don't make excuses for her. People who are truly happy with themselves don't come to a discussion board specifically to trash the other gender. It doesn't matter what's gone on in her life. If I had let every bad circumstance dictate my perception of other people, then I would never be able to go out and have a good time. At some point, you have to be able to chill out. She's got a serious ax to grind with men for reasons that go deeper than generic messages and until she comes to terms with it, then it's going to be more of the same misandry. Which, frankly, is not our problem. It's hers and the unsuspecting men of Newfoundland that dare to approach her.


You seem to be under the impression that I care what you think of me... your impression is dead wrong and "wasted" since I could not give less of a f*ck.

There's no "ax to grind". I'm simply stating the blunt truth. If you've been chasing hot young poon for 30 years, and then complain over and over that that hot young poon is stupid... because no matter how old, or fat, or whatever you get that you're shocked and amazed that it's STILL not happening; well, I'm going to laugh at you for it.

Just like I'd laugh at someone with a C average in high school complaining that that "f*cking Harvard" STILL won't let him in, and nothing but Harvard will do for him............

Or laugh at the guy at work who comes in late, slacks off, leaves messes behind, etc. and starts freaking out because even though he's applied for a promotion, he thinks he's being discriminated against because all those other b*astards with their good work ethics keep taking HIS job........

Or the guy who says that no wife of his will ever work, and he's not going to take a job for less than $25 dollars an hour... but is angry and sick of living on welfare.... (this one is actually a real life example ... he thought I was a b*tch for pointing out that he dropped out of school in grade 7 to smoke weed all day so what can he expect really... )


I'm going to keep laughing at all the overweight or unattractive or broke or older men with horrible personalities who are absolutely incensed because the head cheerleader from the high school across the way isn't seeing his "inner beauty" enough to show up at his house, have sex with him, clean up after him and then raise his kids. And expect nothing from him... not conversation, or paying his share of the expenses, or even someone interesting to talk to (because even wanting someone who isn't as dumb as a brick is SHALLLLLLOW). That stupid, shallow wh*re who's obviously been spoiled by all the attention she gets from men EXACTLY LIKE HIM, and will totally deserve to have the sh*t kicked out of her by the captain of the football team... because he's a bad guy and not a "nice guy" like him.

And then when I tell them the truth, they get offended because they have used every single justification in the book to explain any responsibility for their OWN SITUATION away. It's not that they can't get a woman because they have less going than the other guy, that's just too hard to face so it can't possibly be true! It's everyone ELSE!

Hilarious!


Ummm...am NOT morbidly obese, I look like my pics (5'4" and a healthy weight), so I'm not sure what that means exactly...and I've NEVER been told that I have "manly bone structure", again, not sure what that even means???Also not ALL men actually like thin women, last time I checked...


Umm, you asked how a woman would get all these messages and I told you what it was in my case. How did you not catch on when I mentioned my home province (a place where you don't live) that I wasn't talking about you? Why would you ask why something is happening to someone else if you're looking to find out why it's not happening to you?


NTDFan, you know what the next question is, don't you?


Of course I do, and it's because I don't think you're quite as smart as you believe you are. There is a vast difference between complaining that people aren't giving you what you want from them, and giving people blunt answers to the "questions" they have because they can't seem to figure out on their own that they shouldn't be insisting that people give them anything in the first place.

If an overweight woman comes into a store and insists that all the size 20 pants be labelled 6s because she FEELS like a six, she'd be laughed at. But when an unattractive man keeps telling everyone that he FEELS like Shemar Moore, then we're just supposed to agree with him and tell him all those pretty women are all f*cked in the head because they think he's Danny DeVito. Just so that he doesn't get his feelings hurt.... because anything less than "You are worth it skippy, and one day, Tyra Banks will see the REAL you" is "hurtful".

Why are so many people wusses?



Of course, in many cases, that requires EXCELLENT MIND READING SKILLS, because the extreme case she cites is so rare.


Rare huh? Yeah, so rare that Markus instituted an age limit to keep young women from signing up and leaving after just a few days.... because it takes EXCELLENT MIND READING SKILLS for a 60 year old man to know that the chances of a 20 year old wanting to sleep with him is abysmal.

I can tell with most men's profiles I've checked out whether or not something in there excludes me, and I know better than to waste MY OWN time messaging them on the miniscule chance that they'll overlook these things in me. I have NEVER messaged a man who is completely the opposite of me, and then complained because that sonofa**** MADE me message him ... because if he didn't want a message from me than he shouldn't have signed up.

But this seems to be a regular occurance for the men complaining.... so really, who needs the reality check?


Why does everybody getting lots of interest on dating websites want to make everyone jump through hoops for a date?


A better question would be why someone would consider saying something more than "hi" as jumping through hoops? If you're this lazy trying to get into a relationship, you'd be this lazy trying to keep the relationship... and we women know it.

*shrug*
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 94
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/23/2014 9:24:12 PM

As for my photo, being "clearly cropped at the neck" nope, that was just the way they were taken as was the one behind the desk. I figure that men can understand that a head shot like those indicate that I'm NOT overweight, last time I checked you don't just gain weight on your BODY, it will show in your face,too.


The resolution looks like it was cropped and enlarged. Possibly because it was from the time POF watermarked, which is another clue. POF hasn't watermarked photos for years. And you'd be surprised what lurks outside a well-cropped, well angled, head shot sometimes. Sure, most times one can guess well at the rest from facial clues, but not always. Eventually the head shot only becomes suspect in and of it self. No time is spent analyzing it, looking for clues, it's just 'next'. Also body shape is important for physical attraction. Not that any one is better than another, but everyone has their preferences.


Of course I am assuming that is what the "just doesn't go well from there" is referring to...


Looks and the person. After a little time it becomes clear that people who create their profiles in similar ways are often similar. The same way facial clues can be a 'tell' for someone who is obese the profile itself, in its whole, is a 'tell' for the person who wrote it and chose the photos.


Anyway...I'm not interested in putting up pics of myself in lingerie, or thongs,or bathing suits etc.


Jeans and T-shirt? A simple dress? Something worn to work? on the 'edit profile' page there's a woman who does a tutorial video... that's good enough. She's wearing a freebee company T-shirt. Also the second tutorial video actually covers 'what is a good photo'.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 95
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/24/2014 10:14:50 PM
NDT fan cracks me up. She is accusing men of playing the victim. This is the same person that talks as if every other man she comes across is a cave man lurking in the shadows waiting to hit her over the head with a club and drag her to his cave. She also talks about how all these poor, attractive, young women are harassed by messages from frumpy old fat guys. She is always talking about men being angry, delusional, and entitled. Hey, if most of us men are just not worthy, fine, let all the women fight over the chosen few. We will see how well that works out for them. I'm old and I have dated younger attractive women, on the other hand, I have very little success online. I have said it many times "If the average lady does not need to settle for the average guy, why should the above average guy settle for just one lady?" That is why you have so many unhappy men and women on these sites. Going back to the whole "hi" message thing. AGAIN!!!!! Most men often start out sending well thought out messages and their efforts result in very few responses. Over time they change their game plan from quality to quantity. And don't give me that "they are only messaging hot young chicks BS" because there are plenty of average looking ladies that get a good amount of messages. In my area you also come across tons of ladies' profiles that just say, "you want to know, just ask", and you also see intentions listed as, "not looking for a relationship with any kind of commitment", then complain about guys wanting a FWB situation. Explain that to me. You want the truth, that is the truth.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 96
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/25/2014 2:55:51 PM
I've sent long messages and I've sent generic messages, I really don't think it matters just like how an detailed an profile doesn't really matter. I remember when admitted that in one of their OKTrends. I feel that there's an bit of an double standard going on in that guys are expected to send an great first detailed message while women aren't expected to do much at all in their profiles or their messages.

I've gotten generic "Hi" messages from females too and I've responded back because in real life that's how people tend to greet each other. I've sent detailed messages to females that shows that I read their profile and I've gotten no response so why waste time and put the extra effort in?

For example Treblemaker is attractive but her profile gives me nothing to go off of, it's short doesn't say much about her.

NDT's profile is OK but again I wouldn't too sure on what I would send her.

"Hey I like science, computers, politics, gaming and sci-fi, nice Wonder Woman costume by the way, we should talk" and I actually do like all of those interests. But that's not really a great message. That's really no different than saying "Hey how are you?" This isn't mean to be an insult either just an observation.
 1SpaceCase
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 97
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/26/2014 11:09:53 AM
I will go read their profile and if it captures some of my attention then I will "engage" them in a personal email with a few sentences and I make it a point to identify something in their profile. Else, if I am not interested, I will respond to them in the same manner... such as:

Them: "Hey, how you doing?"
Me: "Doing fine."
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 98
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/26/2014 1:32:12 PM
I think you should reply based on mutual interest, but if a guy puts a lot of effort into a message I think a reply should be given out of simple decency alone.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 99
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/26/2014 4:23:18 PM

She is accusing men of playing the victim.


Just the whiny ones who want a woman but don't do any of the things necessary to get one. And save it, half the population can show up with a penis.


Hey, if most of us men are just not worthy, fine, let all the women fight over the chosen few. We will see how well that works out for them.


It works out well in most cases. Most women are accomplished enough that we can either take men or leave them. Increasingly, we're leaving them.


"If the average lady does not need to settle for the average guy, why should the above average guy settle for just one lady?"


The average lady isn't "not settling" for the average guy and then puking up over everyone else about how unfair it is. Men who call themselves average, are in a lot of cases, deluding themselves because it's too "painful" to say that "being attractive" isn't their strong suit. It's the men who don't realize this and don't work on what they DO have going for them are the ones complaining.

Seriously, all I hear on these forums from these men is how they don't have looks going for them, or finances, or a sense of humour, or a good personality, or intelligence, or any of the other things that make a good partner and how it's shallow of women for not dating them.

Yet, ask any of them, and not one of them would be interested in an ugly, dumb, bitter, angry, fat woman. You know, the exact same person they are.. but with a vagina. You see, THEY can't help being attracted to hot women. But they sure like to complain when women have any standards at all.

Btw, the whole "average" person thing is funny (when it comes to looks anyway). With the way averages are, for every Calvin Klein model there's a guy with a face like the ar*se end of a pit bull... yet I've never heard a man describe himself as "below average".

You still don't think men are delusional when it comes to looks?

69% of men consider themselves "physically fit". According to the scientific definition of the word, only 13% are.

They're seeing themselves through an illusion,and don't get that the WOMEN they're trying to f*ck need to be the ones to see them that way.


Over time they change their game plan from quality to quantity.


Actually they don't. They change their game plan from sending well-thought out messages to "quality" women to sending crappy messages to "quality" women. The vast majority of the messages on dating websites are sent to women 18 to 20 years old. The messages taper off dramatically once you hit 26 and most women in their 30s receive the same number of messages as post-menopausal women.

So men, no matter what they look like, keep trying to "hit the jackpot". If that's your plan, don't act all put upon and upset because you put all your money on black and the ball landed on red.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 100
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To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 9/26/2014 5:22:16 PM
^^^^ CTRL

Perhaps. However, I'm sure Hitler put a lot of effort into the war effort...no reason for the German people to thank him.

However, agree, if effort is made in a respectful, thoughtful way, then I thanked the man. Yes, it is courteous. However, I received a few messages that a lot of effort went into but there was a red flag in the profile or message...these I did not respond to. Some guys have a latent passive aggressive nature that one learns to pick up on through life experience. They 'expect' a response and a positive response... as if they have earned it. Not all men take rejection well...many of us have been rattled by the guy who then calls us an unthankful '****'.

NETfan^^^^
Every word you write is precious.

To paraphrase John Wayne
'Nobody said life was fair. It's even harder when you're stupid '. Some guys learn in life...others are just not meant to procreate.
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