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 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 151
To reply to generic messages or not??Page 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

I want him to have enough money so that when I go out for a night on the town, he can come with me.


I suppose many of us project our own 'stuff' onto other's comments. RT saw this as wanting a guy to 'wine and dine' the woman. I read this as wanting a guy who can pay his OWN way!

(That is certainly what I want - someone who I can split the cost of things with. Not who will wine and dine me, but someone who will pick up this night's dinner or show and I'll get next weekend's. If we travel, we each pay our own airfare, split the hotel bill).

I wonder if either of us is right?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 152
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Posted: 10/7/2014 7:18:05 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^
I don't think it's about being right, actually so much as wanting what you want and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!!!

I'm the same way...I work for a living at a very demanding job and EARN every penny...I don't plan on being with a man who can't pay his own way, or who expects that I am there to do that for him...any more than I expect any man to do that for me....
It's called being an adult....and I also don't think that there's ANYTHING WRONG when a man feels the same way...
Not ALL women are out for a "free ride" or expect to be wined and dined and impressed by you on a continual basis, reality DOES set in eventually...Any partner/potential partner who is asking for that is using you and you should dump them or not even GO there! imo
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 153
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Posted: 10/7/2014 7:40:41 AM
I never understood the "wine and dine" concept anyway especially for an first date. I don't know the girl and I don't wanna spend a ton of money on someone I hardly know just to impress them because they'll keep expecting, plus I'm not rich, I have bills. Now if I invite the girl then I'll pay, that's my rule of thumb but I'm not breaking the bank either to do it.
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 154
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 10/7/2014 8:15:38 AM
I don't think it's about being right, actually so much as wanting what you want and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!!!


I actually meant (RT or me being) 'right' about guessing what NDTf meant in HER post.... HA! These forums gotta love 'em!!

I agree with you that there is nothing wrong wanting what we want. Now, some folks may find that what they 'want' works against them (if what they want is, generally speaking, not in line with being realistic), but that is something else. And also? STILL within their right to want it - unrealistic or not.

I've come on here (as I know you have Dee) to speak up against what seems to be the general thought of what ALL women want or are like. I actually think women 'like us' are not THAT uncommon. I know plenty of women who aren't looking for a free ride.

Oh and, thanks for the shout out earlier, yes, things are going well - I'm at that 'tickled' stage of having met someone new with things progressing. We'll see how it all pans out!
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 155
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Posted: 10/7/2014 9:37:14 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


AWESOME!!!

Me too...met someone "interesting", we'll see what happens!!!
and yes, as per usual I agree with you, not ALL women are the same way any more than ALL guys are the same way....
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 156
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Posted: 10/7/2014 3:05:20 PM
“I've seen it, but in the context I saw it it was a passive-aggressive response from someone who was actually pointing out that it ‘must be’ that way... not because he believed it, but because that's how those stupid wimmenz saw him.”

So basically you’re calling me a liar. Me believing that I’m overall a below-average male doesn’t fit into your philosophy on this issue and contradicts something you said, therefore it cannot be true, so I must be lying when I say that.

You know, there’s really nowhere to go from here, if everything I say, even about myself, is a lie to you IF it contradicts your argument. But moving on to something much cooler...

“As for the rest, it's something you have to figure out. Take stock of what you're looking for, and what you can provide. If you can't give a woman the same thing you want from her, keep looking. And if you can't ever find it, recognize that you're aiming too high. This isn't Kindergarten, you shouldn't need things spelled out for you.”

I knew you were going to cop-out on that one. Just like you copped out on the “Men beware of...” thread as soon as your own gender started pounding you, which you didn’t expect and didn’t know how to handle, so you high-tailed it on out of there and came back to a thread where your fans were still bowing at your feet and kissing your toes.

In this case, you don’t want to admit that my experiences don’t fit into your philosophy, so you’re just not going to answer the question. Look around these forums, woman. How many 70-year-old 400 pound unemployed homeless men sending inappropriate messages to 18-year-old girls do you see complaining about the inefficiency of this site? I’m not telling you your BOOGIE MAN doesn’t exist, because that would be ME calling YOU a liar about your own experiences on this site. What I’m telling you is that most of the guys complaining HERE (the ones you are responding to) are pretty average by any woman’s standards and put in a solid effort by any woman’s standards, but you keep responding to their complaints as if they’re plagued with ebola and rape chickens between snatching candy from toddlers. Your rabid dog line of attack does not apply here. It certainly doesn’t apply to me. I’m a smart, educated, creative, athletic, gainfully employed male with many friends of both gender and way too many activities who has sent thousands of witty emails on this site to age-appropriate and attractive-appropriate women and got nothing for it because of things beyond my control, and I really don’t give a goddamn flying fargnuden if you believe me or not.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 157
To reply to generic messages or not??
Posted: 10/7/2014 5:15:14 PM

You truly... have a way with words, that I admire.....can I save this and maybe use in a profile down the road??
It's called compatibility...irl.


Go ahead :D



Stuff like that is completely reasonable, to an extent. It depends on things like timing.


This is where you keep going arse up RT. These are MY criteria. MINE. They're not up for discussion, they're not up for debate, you don't even get a vote. You're not going to talk any women out of them, and even if you do find one with no backbone and no self esteem who does allow you to talk her out of it, you're only getting pity f*cked. Have some respect, for women and for yourself.




Like the going out on the town thing. That's somewhere that a lot of guys can't win. I gross between 40 and 50k a year. But out of that money, I'm paying for my own home, car, gas, food, bills, everything you have to pay for when you're grown up, while doing it in one of the most expensive states in the country. My rent for a one bedroom apartment is more than some people here are paying for a house and a yard. I don't have the disposable income to just go out like that. It doesn't mean I can't date, but the girl isn't going to be wined and dined like that until we're living together. But this is where too many girls don't want to look. Week to week, yeah, I'm living paycheck to paycheck, but I'm also doing it on my own. No roommates, nobody to help me pay my bills. Down the line when it comes to someone moving in and splitting those bills... well now I have the money to buy you anything you want. Alone, my income isn't that much, but sharing a home, that's good money.


So, because YOU don't have a lot of money to go anywhere or do anything, then no woman should have the audacity to insist on dating men who have enough money to go out?

Sounds... not reasonable. I'll just have to reference what I said earlier: " But you know what? I keep meeting men who tell me over and over how any of these (and most interestingly ALWAYS the one thing he doesn't have) is shallow and how I should f*ck him anyway. Just a bunch of slimy snake oil salesmen.. ick. "

That's what you just did (minus the offer to f*ck). It's greasy. And if you're doing it irl, it's sending up red flags.



NDT: I was trying to be a bit gentler with the language, but, fine. Put directly, I am not imagining, nor making anything up. Re-read, objectively, what you wrote that I referenced. As written, it has a particular meaning, and therefore speaks in support of a double standard.

If you didn't mean it that way, then fine, clarification works.


So what you're really saying is that even though I expressed myself exactly the way I wanted, and even provided further clarification,you're still not convinced? And that even though "clarification works", clarification really DIDN'T work?! I gotta tell you man, that's pretty dumb.



but really if only women judged men by what they say they judge men by and the last thing I would need is an online dating site.



Women aren't interested in self-sufficient men like that any more best I can tell.



So it's either a case of women being liar McLiarpantses, of you not actually being what you think you are, or of you not showing women that you're these things. I dunno man, the idea that half the population being so empty headed and stupid that they're not capable of truth or making good decisions kinda seem like you don't think a lot of people with a vagina.

So why keep trying to f*ck them? Why not go for men, who would never do something like that?



There are even more ways for a man to demand why a woman should answer a generic message and give him a piece of themselves, even though all the man could come up with is a generic message that can be typed easily with one hand, which should be more than enough for any woman with a pulse, really. "His time is important."


Haha, absolutely perfect.


It's hilarious... if 100 men "give" a woman 5 seconds of their time, she should AT LEAST spend at least 3000 seconds ( 30 seconds to open, read, and reply with Thank you but no thank you" ) or almost an hour of her time stroking the male egos of these STRANGERS so they don't feel like the kid who wasn't invited to Timmy's birthday party.

I joined POF to find someone, not take on another job.



You clearly and genuinely think most men are "faux players", liars or cheaters.


Actually, I clearly and genuinely think exactly what I wrote. The most is your invention, and most likely the result of a defensive, victimized attitude.

Your problem, not mine.



And if that's true, then you NDTFan, are most likely one of them. 90% chance to be precise.


Actually I could read at 2, skipped the first 3 grades, tested as having a reading level "higher than university level" when in grade 3 (my principal caught me reading East of Eden at recess and thought I was faking) maintained a 4.0 GPA all through school, made top of my class in spite of only attending classes for 60 days in my senior year, and scored incredibly high on several formal IQ tests. I was also on every school team for math, science and trivia competitions and actually held back so that the other kids wouldn't detest me.

I might be a lot of things, but an idiot is not one of them.



You honestly want me to believe that?


I honestly don't give a f*ck if you do or not.


You honestly think only 13% of the population is not physically fit to do day to day activities?


I honestly think only 13% of the population is physically fit enough to do day to day activities. People are getting fatter and fatter at a more accelerated rate. If you pit the average person now against the average person from the 40s and 50s, the average today person would fold faster than they could point the finger at how it's someone else's fault for making them "feel bad". Hope there's someone standing by with one of those purple participation ribbons.....



There's being realistic about your looks and your worth as an person but you're at least suppose to carry yourself as if you are an 10.


When I see ANY man carrying himself as a ten, I write him off for being a c*cky azzhole. If I see a really ugly one doing it, I write him off as being a c*cky delusional azzhole and avoid him at all costs.



I wonder if either of us is right?


You are. I'd crack a joke about it beig obvious because you're a woman, but there would probably be apoplectic male forum dwellers stroking out all over the continent.


I never understood the "wine and dine" concept anyway especially for an first date


It makes me uncomfortable and I always insist on Dutch. There are a lot of members in the whiny, you-owe-me-now brigade. I had a guy tell me once that I "misled" and "teased" him because I smiled and said thanks when he held the door.

Ick.




So basically you’re calling me a liar


I'm calling you passive-aggressive. And in my world, that's a lot worse.



I knew you were going to cop-out on that one. Just like you copped out on the “Men beware of...” thread as soon as your own gender started pounding you, which you didn’t expect and didn’t know how to handle, so you high-tailed it on out of there and came back to a thread where your fans were still bowing at your feet and kissing your toes.


WTF are you talking about? I was off getting laid and sh*t. The forums were the furthest thing from my mind. You really do live in make-believe land don't you?



I’m a smart, educated, creative, athletic, gainfully employed male with many friends of both gender and way too many activities who has sent thousands of witty emails on this site to age-appropriate and attractive-appropriate women and got nothing for it because of things beyond my control, and I really don’t give a goddamn flying fargnuden if you believe me or not.


If I was nice enough, I COULD take a bit of time to check out ladies profiles in your area and tell you who I'd think you have the best chances with, but you'd DEFINITELY get offended and whine... then dismiss it. So there'd be no point.

This is what you think of yourself. In order to get the woman you want, SHE has to see you the same way. And if you're not getting the attention you believe you deserve, it's either because you're overestimating or you suck at promoting yourself.

Either way, it's nobody's problem but yours.




So to recap the replies to my post from males:

It's not okay to have that preference, I don't meet it so woman shouldn't require it.

Even though you wrote what you wanted in the way you wanted, it doesn't work for me because you didn't use the grammar I think you should have used. I don't like the way you express yourself, and I don't believe what you wrote when you were nice enough to clarify it for me, so now you should write even more to explain it to me so that I can finally understand your point... or argue it further.

Woman might SAY things, but I know better than they do so I know they can't possibly be telling the truth. If women would just realize that men aren't capable of showing their attributes; and put a lot of time and energy into LOOKING for that in men who can't be arsed to put any time or energy into SHOWING it, then men wouldn't be so sexually frustrated.

You're a stupid b*tch.


We can't be realistic. If we're realistic we won't waste as much time chasing women we have no chance with; and THEN what would we complain about?

*Passive-aggressive whining*



*****Just about what I expected. ******
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 158
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Posted: 10/7/2014 5:48:52 PM

When I see ANY man carrying himself as a ten, I write him off for being a c*cky azzhole. If I see a really ugly one doing it, I write him off as being a c*cky delusional azzhole and avoid him at all costs.


So anyone that carries themselves with confidence and positive energy should be written off unless they look like a model? Makes perfect sense.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 159
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Posted: 10/7/2014 7:05:46 PM
NDTfan, please clarify.



"When I see ANY man carrying himself as a ten, I write him off for being a c*cky azzhole. If I see a really ugly one doing it, I write him off as being a c*cky delusional azzhole and avoid him at all costs."-NDTfan

This statement sounds like a gross generalization. Can this apply to women who carry themselves as tens too? I am assuming you see a character flaw in someone who has an overabundance of self confidence, whether they are a douchey prick or not. Is this true?

P.S. Have you noticed yout posts are getting longer and longer each time?
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 160
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Posted: 10/7/2014 7:29:38 PM


So, because YOU don't have a lot of money to go anywhere or do anything, then no woman should have the audacity to insist on dating men who have enough money to go out?


So what you're saying is that living in a dump but having the extra money is better relationship material than someone who's financially stable with a nice home?

I never said that they have to date the guys who have less disposable income because of stuff like growing up. That's their choice. But it's still shallow to base the quality of the potential relationship on how much extra money they have. You don't want a guy with a stable job, and his own home and everything, you want a guy that's rich.
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 161
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Posted: 10/7/2014 10:15:34 PM
In NF it appears the main requirement for being considered a "hottie" must be simply to be "not fat"..not much else needed, muscle tone?

No..pretty face? Hmm..well..maybe being "not fat" is such a small minority it is seen as something "special "?

either that or people who complain about others being delusional can be that way themselves
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 162
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Posted: 10/8/2014 7:57:17 AM

dgcadiz
I can't debate against such strong and convincing arguments. I surrender.

Now this ^^^ is actually a good sign of intelligence.

Seriously, folks, please quit “feeding the troll”. This is not a debate; there is no judge who is going to announce a winner. You will never convince her of anything, and you are not going to impress anyone else by pointless arguing. All of the forum regulars have long since quit paying any attention to anything she says.
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 163
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Posted: 10/8/2014 9:29:37 AM

But it's still shallow to base the quality of the potential relationship on how much extra money they have.


General comment -- While I am often aghast at the ANGER coming from certain posters in these discussions, I do understand the frustration of people being told by someone else what they must mean... And I wonder if that escalates the anger? I know I got a little frustrated/defensive when I felt some total stranger did that to me on the forums last week...

Anyway - to comment on the OT discussion that has evolved here - I wonder if the use of the word 'shallow' in the comment above conveys too much judgement? Shallow seems like a fairly 'scolding' word, IMHO.

On another thread, a man made a comment that 2 dating attempts he had with women who were caregivers for their elderly parents ended because the women weren't available for overnights and travel. Is that a shallow consideration? I mean, these women were likely GOOD people to be doing that.

Personally, I think those that those good women didn't work for this man/his relationship needs and that is 100% HIS decision to make. Wanting to be able to enjoy outings (with someone able to pay their way) is similar in my mind.

We all have things we'd like in a relationship. Perhaps that isn't always 'fair' to everyone who may want us to give them a chance. But is being 'fair' to everyone our goal here? Or is it to meet someone who is compatible with us?
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 164
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Posted: 10/8/2014 9:35:26 AM
On a prima facie basis, it surprises me that someone of an elite intelligence would spend so much time grinding out exceedingly long screeds on a mediocre internet forum
 sunrisesam
Joined: 9/26/2014
Msg: 165
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Posted: 10/8/2014 10:12:22 AM

Seriously, folks, please quit “feeding the troll”. This is not a debate; there is no judge who is going to announce a winner. You will never convince her of anything, and you are not going to impress anyone else by pointless arguing.


So now you’re trying to convince the debating club there’s no point continuing doing something they clearly LOVE ?
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 166
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Posted: 10/8/2014 10:31:19 AM


iam_RFSF2014 said,

On another thread, a man made a comment that 2 dating attempts he had with women who were caregivers for their elderly parents ended because the women weren't available for overnights and travel. Is that a shallow consideration? I mean, these women were likely GOOD people to be doing that.


- You are correct, those were good women, and the guy was too structured and too dumb to know it. You can have a wonderful relationship based on just day or evening dates. Plus, those were most likely temporary situations - it would not be like that forever. What a nincompoop.

Money and intelligence are not a major requirement for a happy and healthy relationship; but a good attitude, including people who are caring (caregiver - Hello, McFly?!), is priceless.
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 167
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Posted: 10/8/2014 10:39:01 AM
^^

GAH - partial quote alert!!!

My point, actually, that he was NOT shallow. Just because someone is a 'good person' doesn't mean they are a GOOD fit for everyone. That does not make someone dumb or shallow or a nincompoop.

Am I the crazy one here?? (hmmm ok, maybe that's possible) I just don't think there is a 'one size fits all' in any of this. We have different wants/needs/values - it doesn't mean someone is right and someone else is wrong.

What is with the need to speak in absolutes, see things in black and white, think there is only one way to view what makes relationship success?? I just don't get it, I suppose...
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 168
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Posted: 10/8/2014 10:54:33 AM
^^^I actually believe that there are people who are generally better relationship material for a wider range of people... to be more specific, I hold nice people who don't have too many problems to be a better catch. Add in mutual attraction and you might just find they are the catch of the day, and the pick of the litter! Ask yourself this: What sane person would want a convict or a drill Sargent for an SO? Do you smell what I'm cookin'?! Yes, it's a generalization, I'm guilty as charged.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 169
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Posted: 10/8/2014 11:59:34 AM

What is with the need to speak in absolutes, see things in black and white, think there is only one way to view what makes relationship success?? I just don't get it, I suppose...


Me EITHER friend...me either....lol

If you figure it out and write a book about it, I suspect you'd make MILLIONS!!! lol
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 170
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Posted: 10/8/2014 4:33:10 PM
NDTfan wrote:


So what you're really saying is that even though I expressed myself exactly the way I wanted, and even provided further clarification,you're still not convinced? And that even though "clarification works", clarification really DIDN'T work?! I gotta tell you man, that's pretty dumb.


No. You said something that had a particular meaning. You then said that's not what what you wrote means.

Yes, it does. You either meant it exactly as you wrote it, which is what you're saying now, or you meant your clarification, which was supposed to correct what you wrote, which is what I believe you mean when you refer to "clarification"

NOW, what I see, is someone who's trying to have it both ways, who can make two conflicting statements and wants to be considered in the right with regard to both of them.

It appears to me that you have issues. Disclaimer: I'm no therapist.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 171
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Posted: 10/8/2014 6:05:12 PM

My point, actually, that he was NOT shallow. Just because someone is a 'good person' doesn't mean they are a GOOD fit for everyone. That does not make someone dumb or shallow or a nincompoop.


I think it depends. If he wasn't dating them because his work schedule makes overnight the only time he's available and they can't do it, then no, that's not shallow.

But when you're only focusing on the superficial that's what it is. You're not looking past the looks, money, car, can they sleep over... If your deal breaker is anything superficial, then by definition of the word, it's shallow.

It's the perspective. Do so many girls refuse to start dating a guy when he's unemployed because it means he has no direction in life, or is it because he needs to be responsible with money right now and can't buy her things... Keep in mind that he could have had a very good job, but his company got shut down on Friday, and it's only Monday (HR tends to be closed on weekends almost everywhere) when he tries to talk to her. Or the guy living with his parents. Is he doing it because he's getting away for free, or is he doing it because he trusts his parents, and in return for staying there is paying half of the bills, helping with house work, you know, being a good roommate?

Whether or not it's shallow depends on that person's reasoning for the situation to be a deal-breaker.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 172
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Posted: 10/8/2014 7:39:28 PM
I'm amazed this thread just keeps rolling along, looked like a simple thread to start but it definitely has legs. Have to think a Mod will delete it soon as what happens with every wild thread.
 MrB1083
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 173
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Posted: 10/9/2014 5:41:50 PM
Nothing wrong with a generic first message. I can email 100 girls and get maybe 2 replies if I'm lucky no matter what kind of message I send. Once I get a reply then my messages get more creative, but I really don't understand the point of getting creative on a message that only has a 1%-2% chance of getting a reply
 LLM211
Joined: 2/4/2014
Msg: 174
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Posted: 10/16/2014 7:16:40 PM
Not true. Your chances of getting a response back will be much better with a creative opening message.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 175
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Posted: 10/20/2014 5:03:20 PM

So anyone that carries themselves with confidence and positive energy should be written off unless they look like a model? Makes perfect sense.


Oh look. Another one I've butted heads with misrepresenting what I say so that he can pretend that he's proved some sort of point.

I'll dumb it down for you. If Shemar Moore walks around like he's a 10, then he's showing off (which isn't attractive). If Danny DeVito walks around like he's a 10, then he's showing off something he doesn't have (which is REALLY unattractive).


This statement sounds like a gross generalization. Can this apply to women who carry themselves as tens too? I am assuming you see a character flaw in someone who has an overabundance of self confidence, whether they are a douchey prick or not. Is this true?


Yep. If they have an overabundance, they have more than they should have. It's why I always check if the body type descriptions match the pictures. You have no idea how many 450 lb men where I live believe they're athletic. It means that they're delusional. I'm too plain spoken than to tiptoe around someone who can't face the truth.


P.S. Have you noticed yout posts are getting longer and longer each time?


Yes. I log in less often and have more posts to reply to that have addressed (or, as is usually the case completely jumped the shark and went off on a passive-aggressive strawman thing) that I want to reply to.



So what you're saying is that living in a dump but having the extra money is better relationship material than someone who's financially stable with a nice home?


Actually I'm saying that there's a happy medium Mr. Black and White. You can write all the "move in with me and THEN we can go places and get to know each other" IOUs you want, but most women are going to want more than promises you might never follow through on. I've struggled enough and now I want someone on the same level.

(in before passive aggressive dig about using the word level; level is not used as a character judgment. I don't think people with herpes, who don't have a lot of money, and convicts are necessarily bad people. I DO know that I don't want herpes, want to eat more than a pack of ramen noodles a day, and that I want to travel with someone who is allowed to enter other countries. Which means that I won't sleep with, date or marry any of them.)


You don't want a guy with a stable job, and his own home and everything, you want a guy that's rich.


Yeah, because we all know that only rich men can go for a drive on a Saturday, take in a concert and get some ice cream before they head home.... *eye roll*

Seriously dude, don't tell ME what "I" want; or insinuate that it's unobtainable or shallow. That's most of your problem you know. You build sh*t up in your head to justify your lack of success, and then lash out when it doesn't pan out. Stop puking your version of reality all over someone else; and stop getting angry because someone points out that mental puking is all that it is.



In NF it appears the main requirement for being considered a "hottie" must be simply to be "not fat"..not much else needed, muscle tone?

No..pretty face? Hmm..well..maybe being "not fat" is such a small minority it is seen as something "special "?

either that or people who complain about others being delusional can be that way themselves


I might not be a hottie, but I'll take a lot of brain and some looks and be grateful for it.... some women weren't born with either.


*cough*


All of the forum regulars have long since quit paying any attention to anything she says.


Who died and made you spokesman of the forum regulars? Is this some sort of "man decree" where you just take it upon yourself to speak for everyone else?

And for that matter, what makes you think I give a f*ck about what anyone else thinks? You wouldn't be trying to use peer pressure in order to intimidate, shame or otherwise try to correct the "little lady's" behavior .... would you?

Because that's hilarious.


Am I the crazy one here?? (hmmm ok, maybe that's possible) I just don't think there is a 'one size fits all' in any of this. We have different wants/needs/values - it doesn't mean someone is right and someone else is wrong.


You're not crazy. Not once, not in my entire life, have I ever thought badly of someone or cast aspersions on their character because they didn't drop everything to give me what I wanted. Yet, all I hear from spurned men is how even though THEY were the ones who asked for something they were very unlikely to get, that there's something wrong with women for not providing it ... or by making them "work" by being nice, or spending time, or giving presents... and how it wasn't all that in the first place.

So, they're up in arms because women aren't giving them something they claim has no value.... sounds reasonable.


Nothing wrong with a generic first message. I can email 100 girls and get maybe 2 replies if I'm lucky no matter what kind of message I send. Once I get a reply then my messages get more creative, but I really don't understand the point of getting creative on a message that only has a 1%-2% chance of getting a reply


So you do something that guarantees that you'll only get a 1-2% chance of a reply; then claim you're doing it because you only have a 1-2% chance of a reply.

Hope you're not a guidance counselor.... "Well Timmy, you only have a 1 percent chance of getting into Harvard. Don't bother studying, or showing up for class , or any of the "hard work" that will increase your chances. Just be a loser and give up".

I hope you're connecting the dots here....
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > To reply to generic messages or not??