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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26
How important are looks to guys????Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
now my curiousity is tingled, but I'm too proud to be one of those guys who ask for photos :)

twice in my youth--once in 1st grade, when I literally chased women--I had the hots for a lady no one else found attractive...until they got a modeling contract. then everyone said, "oh, I guess I see it now." There are Playboy bunnies and actresses who say they got no love when they were young and skinny. so I can totally understand the concept of late-bloomer.

looks are important. some are universal. some aren't. everyone's looking for something different out of a relationship, so what they want depends upon what they want. but you still have to get a foot in the door.
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 27
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 12:24:53 PM

There are Playboy bunnies and actresses who say they got no love when they were young and skinny. so I can totally understand the concept of late-bloomer.


and maybe a few times that was the actual truth

it sure makes a more interesting, better "Story", anyway

Arnold Schwarzenegger also said he was a "skinny little kid" as a teen

I've seen photos of him at age 15 and he had more muscle then than 99% of grown men do

but it's a cooler story & I'm sure helped him sell more "how-to" books.." If a skinny kid like me could do this, then.."
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 28
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 2:17:16 PM
^^You're funny. BTW, I don't believe you have a fugly bone in your body....... Just sayin'^^
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 29
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 7:30:23 PM
A woman's looks are important but there are many types,or preferences.Some femininity added to the mix goes a long way.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 30
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 10:12:25 PM
This is kind of a 'trick' question.

Of course, virtually every sighted person is heavily influenced by looks; and because, "looks"/"attractiveness" are highly subjective, I agree with WIP, that, for ME, it's more about personal attraction (how the whole package comes together).

I am not infatuated with any of the Hollywood women mentioned so far in this thread.

For me, I am attracted to well-dressed (uber feminine~girly-girl types, who also have a tomboyish side). The way I see it, you have very little control over how you look, but you have 100% control over how you present yourself. Give me a kind, funny, feminine woman, and I'm halfway there.

In my 20's, I had a girlfriend who just happened to have been very feminine and conventionally attractive. She almost always wore skirts, heels, hair done, nails done.............the whole 9.

So what?

She was also the type who would climb a tree in a heartbeat. One time, we were at the cook out of one of her relatives. She had on a mini-skirt and heels. A little kid was riding a bicycle, the chain popped off. In 3 seconds flat, she had that bicycle upside down, and was putting the oily bicycle chain back on the kid's bike.

A sexy tomboy. You don't see that everyday; as a matter of fact, I haven't seen it since then.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 31
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 11:23:50 PM
The original question was not phrased this way, but, YES, "looks" are virtually everything, when it comes to "getting things off the ground", in the parallel universe of online dating.

I do not see any correlation between attractiveness and good genes.

For the past year, I have been acquainted with (and had a crush on), probably the most attractive woman I have ever personally met. She's physically beautiful, she's 43 and has a better body than the average 25 year-old. Tall, thin, but shapely. The old, glass Coca-Cola bottles have nothing on her. Most consistently well-dressed woman I have ever seen (including the Hollywood types) in my life.
However,
She has more physical AND emotional maladies than any one person should have. If an insect bites her and ingests her blood, the insect will die.

It has been very disappointing for me to come to the realization that, despite her outward physical attractiveness, she's a manipulative, insecure, rude, angry, @$$hole; not to me, because, professionally, and otherwise, she thinks I may be useful to her. However, it has been a major turnoff, witnessing how she treats people who are not in her fan-club or who she doesn't perceive as being useful to her. It really hit me during a recent telephone call.
I have never heard a more bitter, angry, hypercritical person (male or female). Physically, she APPEARS to have everything good that God has to offer. The reality is.................she has NOTHING.

Was I in denial (because of her looks), about her treatment of others? Absolutely.

She is ugly to me now.

Physically, her beauty is on a clock. An alarm clock.
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 32
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/19/2014 9:58:03 AM
and maybe a few times that was the actual truth

it sure makes a more interesting, better "Story", anyway

Arnold Schwarzenegger also said he was a "skinny little kid" as a teen

I've seen photos of him at age 15 and he had more muscle then than 99% of grown men do

but it's a cooler story & I'm sure helped him sell more "how-to" books.." If a skinny kid like me could do this, then.."



The point you're trying to make is valid, but this example is actually false. Arnold was thin before bodybuilding, which he started doing at a young age.

"Late bloomer" models and actresses also do exist, and for simple, logical reasons. Peoples' figures, vanity and insecurities mature in their later teen years, and it takes some time for them to learn how to really harness it all to best serve themselves and their egos.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 33
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/22/2014 11:11:47 AM
there is no such thing as an ugly girl complex just as there is no such thing as a short man complex.
these are word devices to put someone down.
everyone has varying degrees of insecurity no matter what God has given them.
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 34
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/22/2014 11:15:12 AM

Arnold was thin before bodybuilding


what? like when he was 11?

virtually every 11 year old kid is "thin", unless a genetic freak or a fatty
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 35
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/29/2014 2:52:49 PM

there is no such thing as an ugly girl complex just as there is no such thing as a short man complex.


So you do not feel that shorter men are at a disadvantage? Have you followed this argument that some people here post has the reason for their failure to find or date women. What would you answer them?
 buckmaker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 36
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/1/2014 3:14:47 PM
We all like 'Barbies' that's why they sell so much hair color and plastic surgeons get very rich.
As for happiness, it's probably better to have an average woman who tries really hard.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 37
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/1/2014 10:08:42 PM

We all like 'Barbies' that's why they sell so much hair color and plastic surgeons get very rich.
As for happiness, it's probably better to have an average woman who tries really hard.


Speak for yerself mate, we don't ALL like Barbies. While a Barbie may get my head to turn it is an ephemeral moment, just like a loud noise gets my attention.
Barbie's dimensions are just so to make it look feminine to little girls to identify with. Had they used more normal dimensions the dolls would have looked more preteen than adult. It wasn't to sexualize the doll but to give little girls something to identify (with). Look at the doll from a little child's perspective.

Personally, I am not preferentially attracted to curvy women - I am more attracted to slim to athletic (leaner) women close to my age. Although, were Lolo Jones to express an interest in me I would NOT be averse.

I am not alone in my preference - peruse the forums, and stop with the blanket statements.

TK
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 38
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/1/2014 11:01:39 PM
Most men want an attractive SO... men tend to be more visual than women generally. If a woman is dating, I would suggest she keep her weight at an attractive level and doll herself up for best results.

That said, what's even more important for a man, is being comfortable in a relationship. The cheaters and the players don't understand this.

Case in point: I once dated a woman who was a dead ringer for Uma Thurman. However, after getting to know her a little, she turned out to be psychotic.... so I ran like the wind to get away from that one.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 39
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 1:17:07 AM
I have only ever had sex with a guy that I found quite unattractive physically, once. It was good sex ironically. I guess I was so relaxed,didnt care what he thought of me, and just enjoyed it all. However I wouldnt want to continue with a guy that I would not be proud to be seen with.

I agree looks are important, particularly to men. Women wouldnt spend billions of dollars, all over the world with hair dyes, cosmetics,implants, botox etc., otherwise. We all know the power of being sexually attractive. Thankfully we dont all desire the same kind of person however.

Not every man wants a small nose, a C cup. SOme are attracted to longer more prominent noses and bigger boobs for instance.

We all have scars from adolescence I am sure and have to learn to live with it, that is all.

Of course there is a short man complex I have seen it often enough. Nothing a guy can do to disguise that but he can beef up, get fit and healthy. He can go after tiny petite women
and if he has enough personality, money etc. he will find someone. I see it all the time. However lying about height in a dating profile is futile if you actually want to meet in person. But you guys do it!!
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 40
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 6:30:09 AM

Of course there is a short man complex I have seen it often enough. Nothing a guy can do to disguise that but he can beef up, get fit and healthy. He can go after tiny petite women


This is so true. If a guy is short, he can beef up and appear "bigger" that way. That would still give him the "protector" vibe of a taller guy. I would consider a shorter guy IF he was very muscular and a big bulky. I just wouldn't want to go out with someone who is my height or shorter and weighs the same as me. I like my men to be bigger than me. That's why I'm also not attracted to tall guys that are skinny.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 41
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 7:50:22 AM

I would consider a shorter guy IF he was very muscular and a big bulky. I just wouldn't want to go out with someone who is my height or shorter and weighs the same as me.


Very interesting. What I find fascinating is how women, or some women like not only the idea of feeling protected, but the idea of being in total submission as their man completely engulf them in their embrace and melt like butter.

So I can understand why a skinny guy would just not do it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 8:10:00 AM
in theory, speaking generally, the opinion is that sometimes, a woman wants a bigger partner to make up for a Daddy who never made her feel special and protected from the world. He may have been absent, a busy entrepreneur, etc.

I used to work w/ someone who always dated the big boys, and she could be rather, well, immature. flirt w/ all the other guys, etc, and who was going to "set her straight", when she was dating some0ne built like a bouncer?

but, of course...YMMV.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 43
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 8:43:52 AM

Of course there is a short man complex I have seen it often enough


please enlighten us as to what you have seen and please tell us in detail.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 44
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 8:54:40 AM
Oh, I've known a few men who were superlative in any conversation. Whatever you spoke of doing, they had it worse, or got it cheaper, or could tell you what to do in regards to it, or...you get the idea. And the majority were, yes, short for their size. I've watched smaller men step into a project that was working well on its own, and start throwing around commands or get their fingerprints on it, getting in the way of it working....just so they could eventually say they had something to do with something that already did.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 45
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/2/2014 10:19:01 AM

Of course there is a short man complex I have seen it often enough. Nothing a guy can do to disguise that but he can beef up, get fit and healthy. He can go after tiny petite women.


Generally the vibe I notice from most women is that they want to feel 'feminine' in the presence of their man, and it's rather tough to feel like 'the fairer sex' if you're with a guy that is significantly smaller or shorter.

As far as dating "Tiny Petite Women", I surveyed Match (where height preferences are listed) for a lot of shorter women in my area, and for many their preferences get more extreme the shorter they get. Ladies 5'9" to 5'5" of so would list a minimum height of maybe a couple inches taller, but more than half of ladies 5' and 5'2" or so would consistently push their 'minimum' to six to eight inches taller. You can label it a 'complex' of men to feel inadequate if you want, but when you can survey and count the numbers yourself, it's hard to prove it's just an illusion in the guys' head.
 NumbersMan123
Joined: 9/16/2014
Msg: 46
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/3/2014 8:59:39 AM

Of course there is a short man complex I have seen it often enough



not true. you have not seen it. i can say with every authority there is no such thing as short man syndrome or complex.

first let me say that as a Harvard grad with a PhD in the in the field i can say for certain what you are experiencing and what you remember is selective memory and projection.

we remember things that are slightly out of the ordinary, ie the last minute win in a sports contest, the short man fighting the big man, the short man coming into the meeting and exercising his authority or his know how. we don't remember the two 6 footers fighting, the ho hum win of a sports team blowout, the regular sized man screwing up a brain storming conference, ect.

these can be chalked up to jealousy, envy, projection and other ordinary everyday happenings.

i just have had patients come to me who were very short (5'2-5'6) who said they had to fight because tall men were picking on them. i've had 6'2-6'5 patients complain they had to fight because people want to prove something.

i can go on and on. what it boils down to is this: EVERYONE of ALL HEIGHTS experiences everything and reacts in different ways. my brother is in the profession and we have discussed this in depth.

there is NO short man syndrome just as there is no heavy woman syndrome or interracial syndrome
(once you go black.....etc)

you just happen to remember and project this on short men to appear wise or to satisfy for your own pathology.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 47
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/3/2014 9:56:55 AM
not true. you have not seen it. i can say with every authority there is no such thing as short man syndrome or complex.


Isn't there differing opinions regarding this? Wasn't there a study done 5 years or so ago that stated that there was proof for the "short man syndrome" A study by a Dr Buunk (Yes Buunk! ) So in reality not every authority agrees with you. I also read an article written around the same time that stated there was no such syndrome. I would tend to believe there really isn't any such syndrome but always interested in all points of view.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 48
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/3/2014 11:00:17 AM
message 38


So you do not feel that shorter men are at a disadvantage? Have you followed this argument that some people here post has the reason for their failure to find or date women. What would you answer them?


shorter men like myself (5'4) are at a disadvantage in that they are limited to women a couple of inches shorter than themselves usually because of high heels or maybe the protective thing in their head.
this does NOT mean that a short man cannot do well in dating as you witnessed yourself InnerGorilla when that beautiful young woman (sun and cinnamon) half my age favorited me and wanted to talk to me online . though I cannot prove it I have always done well in the dating world for various reasons one of which I believe is that I am a good dancer. in 2014 I have dated 23 to 74 years old.

let me ask you short men syndrome believers what you would make of this actual scenario:
I was golfing with the VP of the company and he drove a long one off the tee and turned to me and the other 2 guys and said "I got it all. beat that!" the VP was 6"7
what if a short man had said the same thing? alarm bells go off in your head SHORT MAN SYNDROME!!!

living in an old steel mill town near Youngstown, Ohio I've seen lots of fights and other stuff. most have been between guys about the same height. I've been to strategy meetings where tall guys and short guys have tried to take over the meeting or have their ideas accepted. I guess what i'm trying to say is the same thing the doctor (Numbers) said 3 messages back. everyone does stuff not just short guys-EVERYONE.

they do it for all kinds of reasons not just because he's short.
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 49
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/3/2014 12:16:33 PM
Short man syndrome my butt. If that were true all short guys would be single and virgins. It is an excuse.

My old tombstone buddy was a short Greek guy. When we would go out together one of two things would happen. He would get me in a bar fight or he would take the hot girl home. Sometimes both. It may reduce ones chances online but in real life one has the opportunity to be a total person.. Personality, self confidence, looks and communication skills. Act defeated and become defeated. If anyone is constantly being rejected it is more then height alone.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 50
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 10/6/2014 7:03:20 AM

Short man syndrome my butt. If that were true all short guys would be single and virgins. It is an excuse.


I think many guys attach their insecurity to a particular factor. To some is the hight, to others is whether they are bawl or not, and others is the size of their wanka. it creates a comfort zone of inaction. In the end they are happier with their excuse, than with the fear of trying something new and failing.

What many men need to to is to understand that failure is a process not an end result. The scientist goes to his lab to fail most of the time. He tries this and that and the other, until one theory eventually works. He does not give up on the first try. The athlete goes to batting practice and fails most of the time, until he gets better and his average increases. Still a guy that fails 70 percent of the time, can end up with multi million dollar contracts.
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