Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Using big words ...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 76
Using big words ...Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
As someone who likes to write, reads a lot and has spent a lot of time in places where people were encouraged to be well spoken and use at least a sixth grade level of communication I have to say there are more people ignoring the rules of basic English/spelling/grammar then you would expect.

Furthermore, in an environment that's centered around communicating with the written (or typed) word the least most people could do is try to fake it and follow their on board spell check and grammar in programs and browsers. But no, it's totally insensitive of me to notice that and point it out.

When I was a kid it was sort of an embarrassment not to be literate - there were people who wanted an early education and weren't able to get one if they weren't privileged enough to be in the right neighborhood. Nowadays we're supposed to hold the hands of those who could but just don't want to get it right - even when there are tools everywhere that would allow them to learn or at least give others the impression they can communicate better.

Don't even get me started on people who are earning a college degree and can't figure out which word to use in a sentence.

OP, you are where you are. If you feel you have to dumb yourself down an extreme amount to communicate with someone especially someone you're considering as a date - then you need to call it a mismatch and keep looking. No one can fault you for that.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 77
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 3:19:29 PM

So, you treat them with a degree of respect. Which is how we should treat all people. But, does that mean I must form a relationship, date, or be interested in someone with whom I have so little in common?


Of course I treat my friends with respect. I attempt to treat strangers with respect too. However, I have no idea why you think I said you or anyone had to form a relationship, date or be interested in someone they have little in common with. I choose not to hang out with the person that is willfully ignorant. What I have been talking about is that most people communicate on levels where they are understood. This has nothing to do with dumbing down.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 78
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 4:17:05 PM
No matter what your age, no one needs to “contend” with anything they do not deem desirable.
When it comes to dysfunctional persons, I never entertained them when younger (except accidentally).
Why should anyone believe that because they are older they now have to “contend” with dysfunctional persons; unless they want to.


https://www.google.com/#q=contend
con·tend
/k?n'tend/
verb
verb: contend; 3rd person present: contends; past tense: contended; past participle: contended; gerund or present participle: contending
1. struggle to surmount (a difficulty or danger).
"she had to contend with his uncertain temper"
synonyms:
cope with, face, grapple with, deal with, take on, pit oneself against
"the pilot had to contend with torrential rain"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OP contends w/ men everytime she agrees to meet one, she has dates, that is her choice. No one has a right to tell her to stop dating...no she doesn't NEED to do this, but if she CHOOSES to date men, she will have to deal with them. How would OP KNOW THEY WERE DYSFUNCTIONAL or anything else until she MET THEM??

And yes when a person dates when older, things are not the same as when they were 20 or 30. I give much KUDOS to OP as she is able to date!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 4:19:20 PM

For a nurses aid to believe she comprehends and is as familiar with medical jargon as the physician ... does egotism come to mind?
Well, I'm not a nurse aide but let's hope that a nurse aide comprehends quite a bit more than some give them credit for. They still have to follow doctor's orders.

Nurses are required to take orders from doctors, write them down in a comprehensive manner and in my case (as is no doubt the experience with any nurse you'd ever talk to), I'm also required to find the doctor's errors as in when a doctor writes a prescription for a medication the patient is allergic to, it's my A$$ on the line if I don't catch the error. It's my responsibility to check the patient's chart for "allergies" and often have to check the "pill book" to find possible drug interactions that could affect the patient in a negative way. I have found several errors in that way and pride myself on my skills.

Not only do I have to do all of that for the well-educated doctor, but if I don't do it and something happens I can tell you that it's my A$$ on the line because it's my job to do that. So yes ... I have a right to want to keep company with someone who can speak proper English and I have a right to feel like I have earned that privilege.

Pardon me to hell and back if my vocabulary and mental abilities exceed many of the perspective men I encounter. I have studied long and hard for that knowledge and have put in years of time to maintain my education and I am offended that someone suggests that I might just be someone with an ego problem. I have to continuously take courses to upgrade my knowledge just to maintain my license. We all play an important roll in the jobs we do in the medical field.

And just for the record, you won't find me making any degrading remarks about folks who spend their lives adding 1 + 1 because I wouldn't want to do that either. It too is not a thankful job and folks who do that have my full respect.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 80
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 4:24:42 PM
Despite what we, or at least some of us believe, there are many reasons why some cannot "grasp" the English language, written, and/or verbal. There are the physical, mental situations where it is next to impossible for some to "get it", though it is much better today than say 10-20 years ago. And then, we must consider that the English language has some of the silliest "rules" to follow.
To the OP, and others. When someone states that "they need a dictionary to understand", do know they are trying to communicate to you that they are not "getting" what you are trying to say to them. They actually are admitting that to you. And again, when we are saying/typing something, we are "trying" to communicate a thought, feeling or expression. Sometimes, it is best to remember that not all, "work in a law office". It doesn't have to be "dumbing it down" unless you want to do that. It's up to you.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 81
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 4:52:27 PM
And then, we must consider that the English language has some of the silliest "rules" to follow.


yes. it's a fiendishly difficult language. you have words pulled from a wide variety of other languages, all superimposed on a latin grammar system. standardization probably started, in a rudimentary form, in the 15th century. and it hasn't gotten much easier.

i find a lot of the rules silly too. but we accept them as proper. i used to tell my english students that i agreed with them: it seems stupid. but you need to know it or else people will treat you like you're stupid. and they'll wonder who taught you english.

as i mentioned earlier, when writing for the paper, i try to keep the language lively and engaging while not going over anyone's head. i think that's about respect. when i spend time with other bookish people, i can use whatever lexicon i choose. but that would bore others to death.

the best i can advise is to consider the listener.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 8:06:23 PM

Coming from EXACTLY the person who taught them English, this is brilliant. I had a laugh, this is really good.


grazie.
the students had a laugh too. but they learned grammar, usage and spelling.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/26/2014 11:18:29 PM
My brother is an attorney, that's not why he uses big words though, but it just so happens that he's also an attorney. He's very smart, very high IQ, has always used big words, they are natural for him. Half the time I have no idea what he's talking about, and I know he tries LOL, I'm no dummy but I only do the easy, large print crossword puzzles, and sometimes I still have to cheat. If I hadn't grown up with him I might think he's being a pompous ass, but he's not, and it hurts his feelings when people think he's putting on, I know it does, though he won't usually show it.

I remember a high school teacher we both had, he's two years older, who hated him with a passion because, and she put this on his papers, that she had to look up the words he used and she did not like that one bit. She was an English teacher. He didn't use big words to make her mad or feel embarrassed, he just talks that way, always has. Heck he was speaking in sentences before her could walk without wobbling. He was saying words before he had teeth. He's really really smart. Then this same teacher had me in her class, and right off she told me I better not be like my brother because she hated him. All other teachers loved him. Then she hated me because I was just normal smart, and I never did my work, so she berated me because I wasn't like my brother. LOL

Now I don't know if this has anything to do with this topic, but the fact is, some people are going to be way above a lot of other people and there's no reason to dumb down or to feel inferior. Either stay away from each other or, do as I do, and say you don't understand and have them explain it to you. I've been nicely surprised to learn many new things that way.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 3:10:00 AM
You call them "big words"
I find that funny as hell to someone who uses these words on a daily basis.


Do tell, what BIG WORD threw him into such insecure feelings as to speak out on the subject ?
No one needs to dumb down, just possibly learn to talk to people at different levels of communication styles, which is a talent and polite.

Using certain vocabulary doesnt make you any more intelligent, just used to hearing them/it and using them/it.

He possibly could teach YOU a few things that actually matter.
Humility comes to mind.
Anyone can use a word with more than 4 letters if they read.
Although pronunciation may be an issue with someone if they do not hear them used and they may be hesitant to verbalize them out loud.

Ive only had one comment like that and I didn't let it go to my head.I apologized and explained what I was saying in more layman's terms to make them feel more comfortable.I didn't feel it was "dumbing down". He didn't have the same background in that subject as i did.
Don't let it make you feel so superior to others..

Hard to beleive you would use the word dumbing in a thread like this.

* laughing to hard*



I'm certainly not trying to impress anyone.

The tone of this thread seems to implicate you are trying to impress someone.



most people communicate on levels where they are understood. This has nothing to do with dumbing down.

^^^^^^^^^^

Learn the art of making people comfortable and stop what is (in my opinion) your over inflated since of superiority with words or phrases..
I guess if thats all you have, go for it and just meet another person like yourself that will talk over your head and possibly embarrass you.
It wont get you anywhere in life esp with friends or a lover if you really care about others.
That's worth more than anything else you can say.

Make others feel good about themselves even if you have to adapt a bit.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 85
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 3:45:35 AM
OP, I was not there at your date, so I cannot say what tone who took w/ who, or what level of screening went on etc. BUT I can empathize w/ you...there are times way in the past where I met a couple of men who seemed to be well written ENOUGH, but when I met them, they seemed not AS INTELLIGENT (maybe someone wrote their ad for them, etc.) as the ad suggested.

I think we should not be so quick to judge the OP & her motives for starting this thread...


Make others feel good about themselves even if you have to adapt a bit.


@ P.P. I usually agree w/ you on much of what you post, but respectfully disagree w/ this one. It is up to each individual to decide how they feel about themself INTERNALLY w/ or w/o the validation of another human being. If the man OP met felt inadequate, the onus was on him, not her. As long as she treated him respectfully, it was OK. Adapting is fine; twisting yourself into a pretzel to be someone you're not is NOT FINE :0(

I think most of us in here can agree that showing up for a 1st meet or date w/ a positive attitude, an open mind & being polite/respectful would be the thing to do, & if there is no love connection, wish each other well & keep it moving.

PS- just about everyone in this forum has made a typo, a spelling error, or a grammatical error at one time or another, I find it ironic when some people will point out another person's faux pas when they've made one themself...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 11:19:29 AM
I make tons of typos, I can't spell for beans, and often spell check doesn't help me because it can't figure out what word I was going for. sigh I think most of know a typo when we see them, it's when someone repeatedly makes the same mistake that you get a clue that maybe they do not know. We all have certain mistakes that grab our attention, like saying I seen you yesterday. I think everyone knows that's incorrect, or when they always post your instead of you're, or they put an S on the end of anyway, anyways drives me nuts, but I don't think anyone cares that it drives me nuts LOL but I do sometimes point out that it's not a word. Another one is when someone types, noone, that's not a word unless Noone is your last name, it's no one, like a lot, it's always two words. Allot is a completely different word. Again, much smarter people than me, may well make these mistakes, but I'm going to point them out if I am personally involved with these people. It's been a common practice in my family to point out these mistakes, because most of my family likes to learn, not just repeatedly make the same mistake. We aren't doing it to feel superior, we are helping each other to do better. My oldest daughter is an English teacher, at the local state college, she corrects me often. ;-) If she read this post, there would be red pencils marks everywhere. it's not that she would be rude or snotty about it, it's that she corrects papers all the time, it does no one any good to never be corrected. It's just one's dignity getting hurt that makes people get so pissy about it. That's my feeling on being corrected. I remember the time I posted that my pet peave was something or other and the next poster said his pet peeve was people who can't spell peeve. LOL I laughed & learned. It's all good.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 12:39:49 PM

PS- just about everyone in this forum has made a typo, a spelling error, or a grammatical error at one time or another, I find it ironic when some people will point out another person's faux pas when they've made one themself...

*Themselves...

I come from a family that corrected you constantly - because of that I am the worst critic of myself that ever lived, but I'm fine with that. From the time I post until it's not possible anymore, I edit repeatedly. I point out the mistakes of others WAY LESS than I point out/correct/apologize for my own. But that's because I'm embarrassed by mistakes being that I was always an A student and have a degree. My standards for that are really strict as far as my communication is concerned and I feel I should be an example of what I've done.

Wanting to make a good impression doesn't seem to happen very often these days.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 88
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 4:19:43 PM

twisting yourself into a pretzel to be someone you're not is NOT FINE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who suggested that?
Adapting your verbiage,( simple example> from the word egregious to the word shocking )is hardly twisting into a pretzel or compromising some moral code of conduct if you are with someone less educated or as well read as you the speaker.


I could give 2 flips of a plate of cold flap jacks if anyone agrees with me or not on my personal opinion on the matter.
It sounds like a *tooting my own horn* thread to me and I can express that opinion.


Anyhoo
Unless someone is being inappropriate or a jerk, I think the most shining example of the word kind (one of the best compliments a person can have a title of) is making another person/s feel comfortable where they are and around who they are with.
 Hasenpfeffer
Joined: 9/23/2014
Msg: 89
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 4:41:56 PM

How is it people that think they're smart don't know the difference between education and intelligence?

Because such people mistake memorization skills with intelligence.



Now , now, ladies - no need to get all negative and critical just because someone much younger & prettier is in the house. Don't worry, we are not in the same market. Don't feel threatened, the 60+ middle aged man set is all yours


This poster needs opprobrium! And I will see to it the posting history is pointed out to the mods once they return

Aww ... c'mon. No need for big words. Just say "strong disapproval".

If the OP is as smart as she claims, why is she not a high-powered attorney instead of just "working at a law firm"??

Personally, I equate intelligence to those in the scientific and technology fields ... not lawyers, politicians and other "smooth talking" public speakers.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 90
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 5:17:51 PM
^^^. I don't recall the OP stating she was "smart", she made no such claims. Nor did she say she was better than anyone. But go ahead and bash the OP if it makes you feel better, others have already done this so I'm sure it comes as nothing new to the OP.

Should we switch up "big words" for simpler words until we can figure out the comprehension ability of a first meet or first date? Do we start out by appearing "smart" or " dumb" until we figure out the person we are just meeting? I can't be bothered with all that, I just have to be me. I can no more dumb myself down than I can make myself appear more intelligent. I just have to go with being me. So should the OP and the rest of us.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 91
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 6:40:48 PM
I can't help it. I work at a law firm. Met a guy recently who finally told me he needed a dictionary to talk to me. I've been working in the legal field so long, I'm not sure I can dumb myself down enough. I don't do it intentionally and I'm certainly not trying to impress anyone. I just use them on a daily basis, so it's kind of second nature to me. Since when is lack of intelligence attractive?


OP, it's not that he finds lack of intelligence attractive. It's lack of pretense that he finds attractive. He thought you came across as pretentious. It's a similar feeling a non-wine drinker might harbor towards a wine enthusiast who enjoys participating in wine tastings. I'm sure you get my drift.

You shouldn't be expected to minimize your vocabulary just to please someone else, any more than the wine enthusiast should be expected to give up his/her interest just to please a non-wine drinker. You two were simply not a match.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/27/2014 10:07:15 PM
There are a lot of opposing philosophies contained with in the OP's original posting.
For instance, on one hand intelligence is not (necessarily) measured by the size of words a communicator uses; on the other hand there are times when a term of art is the best way to present a particular concept. "Big words" came about in our native language, and I assume other languages as well, in response to a need to express a thought/idea better, more exactly.
As one who holds degrees in law, science, and engineering the need for a specialized vocabulary is quite acute in my mind. Equally acute is the recognition that I need to know what those words mean and how to define them, not just to myself but to others. So when the situation arises that calls for a term of art I can either use that term of art or have the where-with-all to substitute something, perhaps, a bit more long winded. Or perhaps a more general term as a lead in to something more specific.
Equally frustrating is the use of alphabet soup dialog in place of the actual words. To one outside the specialty, even one very intelligent, alphabet soup can make your head spin. Some use abbreviations to build community, to exclude outsiders, or even to establish their own importance.
To the OP, sometimes folk use the phrase, "need a dictionary," in a teasing manner. I wasn't there. But remember, smart people know their audience.

TK
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 93
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/28/2014 4:55:03 AM
If you insist in your vexacious prognostications I will be forced to horizontalise your perpendicularity.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 94
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/28/2014 4:22:24 PM
^^^. Well, that shut everyone up. I hear the rustle of pages turning in dictionaries all across North America. Lol.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 95
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/28/2014 8:40:13 PM
I have a fairly extensive vocabulary, seldom do I encounter a word I don't know. Mostly as a result of my extensive reading.

As a telecommunications engineer for 35 years, I also have to understand quite a few words that virtually know one else knows.

Not long ago, I met up with a fellow engineer in Thailand, and we started to babble away for an hour. Then his GF chimed in, she didn't have a clue what we were talking about.

To us, words like ATM mean asynchronous transfer mode, not an automated teller machine.

My wife only knew several hundred English words when I met her. My mother and father were both blue collar workers, but when I was working I had to converse with CEO, PhD along with people that we hired as temps to conduct surveys. I need to converse with all of these types of people.

So I automatically adjust my conversational level to the people I am talking to, I am so used to this it happens unconsciously.

I do think many “big” words are useful because they more accurately and concisely describe what we are trying to communicate. But if people don't understand those words, then we aren't communicating.

POF forums caused me a lot of trouble initially, people using terms like NSA, PUA, DMV, sarging, negging, LAT LDR and LTR relationships, CFNM parties, etc, these are all terms I had never heard of before. It was like another language, a little annoying at first because people seem to think everyone uses these terms in their everyday conversation.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 96
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/28/2014 9:38:11 PM
DB,

If you think that NSA, PUA, DMV, etc., caused you fits, be careful using ATM in the sex and sexuality forums. It doesn't mean asynchronous transfer mode nor automated teller machine. Freaky stuff!

TK
[p.s., I may have to look up some of those three letter combos you cite myself]
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/29/2014 3:00:37 AM

I was curious as to what words she was using that would make another person say that? I mean don't get me wrong, after reading the OP's post for a few years now...she does come across as a moderately bright woman however she doesn't come across as one of these superbly intelligent people that has to knock it down a level or two when talking to "ordinary people"

^^^^^^Ditto

After years of reading many, often ridiculous/silly threads, I highly suspect were made up in many cases started by op under different names, I have yet to observe her speaking above anyone's head thats finished the 5th grade.

Maybe it was the "I left my boots outside her door guy" that rode a bicycle.
So maybe not such a compliment after all.

And yet again she's "hit and run" to observe responses it seems.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 98
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/29/2014 6:38:33 AM
^^^I've been reading the responses, so no "hit and run" here. I just chose to not respond to most of them. I don't spend a lot of time here anymore due to all the animosity. I've been out living life -- something that the denizens of the forums should probably try.
 Hasenpfeffer
Joined: 9/23/2014
Msg: 99
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/29/2014 6:43:29 AM

I don't recall the OP stating she was "smart", she made no such claims

She made an indirect claim with the following ...


Since when is lack of intelligence attractive?

We all know that lack of intelligence is UNattractive ... so by inference, her use of big words (to her) is showing intelligence. You just have to read more into her statement.


I work at a law firm

Why even mention a law firm if not as a direct association to intelligence?? What?? A law firm is an intellectual-only club where the upper-crust share afternoon tea??

I'm sure physicists working on theoretical concepts in a high-tech laboratory somewhere could probably throw OP for a loop with their field-specific jargon. Intelligence isn't merely stringing together big words. It is the ability to reason and conceptualize.

On a date, it isn't big words that matter. Rather, it is the content of the conversation. If a date can't discuss anything beyond celebrity gossip and Facebook drama, then they're dumb no matter how many big words they throw into the conversation.


^^^. Well, that shut everyone up. I hear the rustle of pages turning in dictionaries all across North America. Lol

You still use hard copy dictionaries??

All he said was he'll knock everyone flat on their azzes if forumites insist on posting troublesome viewpoints. Prognostication wasn't even the correct word to use since it's defined as a forecast or prediction. What exactly are forumites forecasting?? And "vexacious" was misspelt. :224:
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 100
Using big words ...
Posted: 9/29/2014 6:47:50 AM
I've been reading the responses, so no "hit and run" here. I just chose to not respond to most of them. I don't spend a lot of time here anymore due to all the animosity. I've been out living life -- something that the denizens of the forums should probably try.


Translation: Those of us who post in the forums must not have a life, but you do. Even your responses sound pretentious. You give off a vibe as if you think you're better than all the rest of us. It's no wonder that man chose sarcasm to put you in your place.

vvvv As I've said before, I would date a non-wine drinker or one who drank an inexpensive wine. I do not date nondrinkers. That does not make me a snob.
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Using big words ...