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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...      Home login  
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 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 426
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...Page 18 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

If you really think there is a right and wrong here I feel for you.


The TOPIC has no right or wrong; you either are okay with a FWB or you're not. That's the topic.

What I was commenting about was the fact that you and Lady did the back and forth for pages because each of you thought you were right and the other was wrong. Both of you had differing opinions and to me, this has no right or wrong...just differing opinions. But that is not what it turned into page after page....if it was, either of you could have simply stated on about page 4 - I disagree with your opinion but you're entitled to your own opinion. And left it at that. But no....

As to folks in a tizzy....hardly. As to the OP and her posting history or thread creations - who cares? This was still a good topic as was the other thread she started. Is it true? Again, who cares? Was it attention seeking? Who cares? I don't think so but apparently some do....who cares?
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 427
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/20/2014 8:19:53 PM
This all could have been resolved long ago.All AWC had to do was text the guy.....GNRFN......:)
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 428
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/20/2014 8:26:55 PM
I think the OP is a beautiful woman that is dealing with the 'dating politics' of 45+

Mars and Venus really let their guards down at this age.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 429
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/21/2014 9:59:15 AM

the fact that you and Lady did the back and forth for pages because each of you thought you were right and the other was wrong.

I'm not going to go back thru this thread and analyze everything, but I believe that I posted before
Tsar.
Yes, I did jump into his case when he pounced on the OP(AWC) about how she WAS SO a FwB person because she said something about it once in some other thread.And railed about how she "put it out there for all to see"...like WTF? Is he like her DAD, arbiting her behavior?

I agree, there isn't a right or wrong answer to FwB, personally I think they are just fine as long as both people are in agreement. There have been times in my life where I had FwB. I have spoken of the set of standards I apply to FwBs.
But everything I say, even remarks I adress to other posters, or joking/humorous remarls, he leaps on like I was directing them to him and him only. He keeps accusing me of making everything about "gender".

OK, enough about that.

AWC, did you ever think about trying to at least conversationally draw the guy out as to why he keeps in contact?
Do you and he have some other connection in common?( mutual friends, mutual platonic interests or hobbies?)
Personally, if you have no chemistry with the guy I can't think why you'd want to have sex with him, so maybe this has to remain one of life's little mysteries.
My own take on the question is that after he made the suggestion, he got performance anxiety and that's why he hasn't brought it up. Maybe he hopes that if you were horny enough-you would initiate, and that fact would overcome his performance issues.
You have to do as you think best, but to initiate sex with somebody you don't really want to bang, especially if you might be blamed if he CAN'T get it up-I think I'd give it a miss.
Cindy O
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 430
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/21/2014 11:02:32 AM
Well maybe he's not that confident Cindy.He might not be the preferred piece.Maybe AWC can make some use of him.

Make him a slave.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 431
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/21/2014 2:26:11 PM
Slave, huh? Well, I've lost all interest in his FWB offer, but I do have some heavy lifting he can do ...
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 432
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 6:58:28 AM
^^^You have a blessed day. Try to be happy, OK?
 Beach_Barefoot825
Joined: 4/6/2013
Msg: 433
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 8:27:12 AM
Loved your response. Well stated!
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 434
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 9:28:51 AM
Um, no. The OP posted an excellent topic..pause for thought for many of us. The other topic, Big Words, the basics of the whole thing (in case you missed it) was do we "dumb" ourselves to date, or, do we have to change who we are to date. Again, a good topic.

As to "...liar, an oaf, a perv, a stalker, stupid..." etc., how many threads have you read or started on the topic of "My ex is the best person in the world" or "my last date was awesome". All these types of threads (about dating, relationships, past marriage) are stories, anecdotes, tales of woe, tales of WTF, tales of ...an odd thing happened. Who cares if they are true, exaggerations, made up or gospel. This is entertainment and if you're taking it as anything more than that...that's your problem.

Sorry, what kind of pet to get your kids is boring...plus every dog owner prefers their own breed. but in all honesty, the dog thread was by far NOT the most boring topic on here. I opted for a cat too.

And I don't think you're a stalker...you just picked on the OP as opposed to the topic . In fairness, you weren't the only one. You didn't even touch on the topic, just bashed the OP. We've all done it at times, I know I have.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 435
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 9:55:52 AM
This is an interesting point-
When someone posts a topic that is a valid point for discussion, but there is a reasonable doubt about the actual veracity of the specifics, does one challenge the poster or discuss the topic AS PRESENTED? Discuss the topic but make note of one's doubts? Simply dismiss the topic out of hand and attack the poster?

I'm not one to go immediately running to a topic posters' profile and history. If I happen to remember something from another thread, or something in the current topic just isn't hanging together, I might check profile and/or posting history.

I am fairly certain that lots of us have dating experiences that we found puzzling, disappointing, maybe even revolting. Not all of us chose to post them for dissection, but rather to just move on. However, are the "just move on" crowd doing a disservice to those who might learn something from someone else's less-than-positive experience.

I have to say that those who don't believe the OP in this thread because they just cannot IMAGINE that a male would not be racing to acquire no-strings sex, might be saying something negative about themselves and their own experiences. Anyway that's my opinion.
Cindy O
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 436
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 10:10:48 AM

I have to say that those who don't believe the OP in this thread because they just cannot IMAGINE that a male would not be racing to acquire no-strings sex, might be saying something negative about themselves and their own experiences. Anyway that's my opinion.


People don't believe the OP because every thread she starts is about how foolish / stupid/ sex starved/ negative in some way men are. Not because we can't imagnie a man turning down sex, most of us have turned down sex.
Maybe some of the threads are true, I don't really have an opinion. I tend to not comment a lot about threads that look bogus, but they are more popular with most of the biota.

But as long as the thread is popular, does truth really matter?

I think it does, because if I were naive and read the forums, I would think dating was a horrible experience with 95% odds of being a failure. Though I guess without all the fiction, it would be much more boring.

Forums paint an unreasonably negative view on relationships. It's not going to change, but I see no harm in pointing out how many frauds there are.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 437
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 11:38:38 AM
So what if AWC posts about how so many men are foolish/stupid/sex starved/negative,likely 90% of women agree with her concerning 90% of the men they communicate with.

All the things you can read about on the net,this is so unbelievable?
Hey,wait a minute....maybe the guy that couldn't understand big words and the guy in this thread are one and the same? :)

 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 438
view profile
History
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 12:10:01 PM
As to "...liar, an oaf, a perv, a stalker, stupid..." etc., how many threads have you read or started on the topic of "My ex is the best person in the world" or "my last date was awesome". All these types of threads (about dating, relationships, past marriage) are stories, anecdotes, tales of woe, tales of WTF, tales of ...an odd thing happened. Who cares if they are true, exaggerations, made up or gospel. This is entertainment and if you're taking it as anything more than that...that's your problem

I think men who consistently post or start threads about how all women are cunning, sluts/frigid, "feminazis"',gold-diggers, fat etc are abhorrent and so do many of the female posters here.
When these comments are made, you'll rarely see women posters saying these are entertaining posts. You can let them go to a certain extent, but when it's consistent and they rarely differ in content, most female posters will react.
This is along the same lines and this is what makes ProcolHarem react.
As far as whether the threads are made-up or not, I don't think that matters much. Hypotheticals are fine for a forum, in my opinion. It's the reactions that are real. Whether this thread topic is real or not hardly matters. I'm sure it's happened to women and men. I guess that's the point, really. If it had been written by a man, the reactive posts would have been very different.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 439
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 12:13:17 PM
All the things you can read about on the net,this is so unbelievable?
Hey,wait a minute....maybe the guy that couldn't understand big words and the guy in this thread are one and the same? :)


Or maybe the guy in this thread had second thoughts about pursuing a FWB arrangement with the OP after he found out about the other FWB guy in the thread entitled "When to tell your date that you have a FWB?" ;)
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 440
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 1:22:29 PM
Just go through the fist page of thread topics on Over 45....there is one about the Common Cold and every other thread is a thread topic questioning some sort of dating category...from - would you date someone who didn't have children all the way to the menopause, Viagra users and into do you find a bald guy sexy. This topic fits right in with the rest and they are all based on "would you date someone like this" or "this happened, what do you think". Who cares if they are true or madeup?

If, like the poster above, you just want to bash the OP...have at it as she seems to have tough skin. It might make YOU look petty but so what.

If you are learning all your life skills and dating skills from these forums and taking them as anything more than chat and entertainment...you really need to get a life. Who cares in the long run if a topic is true or a made up scenario , it's chat. If something was life or death we would be talking to our friends,family or a professional and not a bunch of nobodys on a dating site forum with nothing much better to do than yammer and give their 2 cents worth on a lot of benign topics that mean nothing in the long run. This is a time waster for me and I'm sure it is for the majority of us.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 441
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 2:33:36 PM
^^^
Exactly.

It's amazing how some of the posters will take the time to play CSI with an OP's posting history.

Sleep deprivation, or deprivation of..hmm....
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 442
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 7:37:14 AM

People don't believe the OP because every thread she starts is about how foolish / stupid/ sex starved/ negative in some way men are. Not because we can't imagnie a man turning down sex, most of us have turned down sex.


Exactly....... As I said it is an attention seeking thread....... In a nutshell...... I made a deal to have no strings sex with a man and he didn't act on our deal.... So he must be damaged in some way because we know all men want is sex......

No as a matter of fact that is most likely untrue...... The fact he decided to for go the offer of no strings sex after agreeing to it is a sign he saw something from the op that made the no strings sex undesirable to him.

As far as checking on posting history it is done all the time. I rarely comment without checking on what the facts are......... But that does explain why so many here have to defend wrong statements..... If you talk without knowing the facts that is bound to happen a lot.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 443
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 8:17:52 AM

If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship
what would be the reason the guy wouldn't follow through with it?

It was his idea. I'm not really the type, but figured what the heck? I'm getting nowhere finding an actual relationship and I'm not getting any younger. And I'm not even sure I want someone around all the time anyway. We like each other. We dated for a while last year and have kept in touch over the past year, but not dated.

It's been a month ago we discussed our arrangement. I've gotten a couple of texts and emails, but nothing about meeting up. I haven't pushed the issue either though.

I don't really need anyone to tell me he changed his mind, met someone else, etc. because I've already been over that in my head.



The above is the initial post-the OT-in it's entirety.
Show where the OP states that the man must be "damaged".

The fact he decided to for go (sic)the offer of no strings sex after agreeing to it is a sign he saw something from the op that made the no strings sex undesirable to him.

This is a valid observation and could it not have been delivered without scolding the OP about "taking responsibility"
and "putting it out there for all to see"?

I'm one who is inclined to believe what people say. I don't feel a need to investigate the person and the topic before commenting, as a routine matter. Now, before anybody decides to lecture ME-in situations where it MATTERS-like real life stuff, I may do a little checking before I get involved in something. But here in the forums? Not so much.

But boy howdy, somebody sure did believe the OP initially, when he attempted to "call her out" on her "not really the FwB type" and "putting it out there for all to see"...
If the OT was such a made-up attention-seeking deal, why jump all over her about "taking responsibility" and "putting it out there for all to see"?
Cindy O
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 444
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 8:59:43 AM
I agree with Clooney - why the CSI work? Is it that big of a deal? Posting history, past profiles, past posts, checking your Facebook page, calling a person out? WTF. Again, to much free time, especially too much free time to analyze and over analyze someone's comments and disect each word in a statement, pathetic. Do we know each other in real life, do we hang out for drink after work, do we talk on the telephone about our latest dating fiasco, is this shyt important....nope.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 445
view profile
History
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 10:32:41 AM
Jeebus H. on a raft! The immaturity shown by a couple of people here is mind boggling. All worked up over what someone posts on the internet? Really? Life doesn't offer you more? Sad, sad state of affairs if this is all you've got.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 446
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 11:11:50 AM

Jeebus H. on a raft! The immaturity shown by a couple of people here is mind boggling. All worked up over what someone posts on the internet? Really? Life doesn't offer you more? Sad, sad state of affairs if this is all you've got.


You got that right..... I post on here to kill time at work..... Some here spend all night and their weekends on here too.

But it is entertaining to read their bull butter and watch them explode when you question their fallacious posts.


The above is the initial post-the OT-in it's entirety.
Show where the OP states that the man must be "damaged".


I didn't say it was in the first post...... There again a valid reason to actually read enough to know the facts..... And also shows what I just said about the fallacious posts.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 447
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 11:19:47 AM
Post 297



Ouija, we should all throw 5 bucks into a pot and place a bet as to how many posts and/ or pages this goes by...say, Christmas.

I'll put 5 bucks on 30 pages. I'll even add 5 bucks to say it's the same two posters with the majority of comments.


And it continues. So far I'm up $5.00.

Post 464 and counting.
 Supersoulson
Joined: 10/21/2014
Msg: 448
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 11:27:47 AM
Bluemoon.....





















































... if you really want to win that bet ....














































....you could always post like this ?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 449
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 11:34:47 AM
Sorry, kids.
I'm not going to help.
Generally speaking, I have spoken out against the demonizing of FwB in these forums. IMO from time to time it seems like that is the direction some are trying to steer this thread in. I keep trying to put it back on the rails.
But I give up.
Far be it from me to try and have an opinion against someone posting on company time.
So yeah, AWC is the FwB type because she had one once before, she should be ashamed of putting it out there for all to see, and of course somehow this guy(the FwB that never happened) was able to suss out that AWC is some sort of a red flag, posting about something that is all made up anyway.
I'm turning it all over to Tsar to make whatever suppositions he wants to.
Sometimes I find myself being fascinated by certain types of pathology, is the only reason I can give for continuing to participate in this thread. I think from time to time(notably nights and weekends, when folks who have their own computers can post) we have had some interesting insights shared.
JMO.
Cindy O
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 450
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/24/2014 12:02:07 PM
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits so when you add someone it'll say 'You are now friends with benefits!'
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