Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 226
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)Page 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

I think the bigger issue is not liking women.
so true

any relationship to be successful both parties need to be reciprocal. If your only basis for a relationship is on incomes/wealth and maintaining separateness-and finding value in $ only as your ultimate desire and protection-love and companionship can be evasive-

for those with such a mindset i suggest only having relationships with your economic superior and maintaining your independence in said relationship.

Then you will never fear an interest in your money-they are better off than you-they could care less about your comparative trickle, struggles and fear associated with your pitiful income and they need never contribute to assist you as you are not partners.. Anyone this concerned about losing a portion of their income really does not have it to lose. lol.

A little history lesson DOWRY's basing a woman's value on only what properties wealth/prestige and offspring she could add or produce for a family name.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 227
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/29/2017 8:01:26 PM
That would be great to date someone with the same income or more for guys that are scared women want them for their money, that they don't have anyway. I had a guy message me and say that he only sees broke women online. He's a homebody with no interests, so I don't know how that would really impact him since there's nothing to pay her way for. He was too funny as he was trying to see what my finances were.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 228
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/29/2017 11:40:41 PM
I think many men become tired of the mental games some women pull on their minds. For example, just the other day a female coworker told me that she was messing with one of our fellow coworkers so that she can get her boyfriend to pay attention to her more. Then she was complaining later that the guy she was using would not leave her alone after she got what she wanted. That is some messed up stuff right there. Even though I am friends with all involved, I felt disgusted with the matter.

There are more than financial reasons why some guys give up on dating. Sometimes they run into women who repeatedly play head games with them, and they get too frustrated to ever try again.

I also find it very alarming if a partner who I haven't even met yet is concerned about how much money I make. All they need to know is I have a job, vehicle, and I can support myself, that's it.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 229
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/30/2017 12:26:37 AM
That's really childish of her. She sounds like an @hole.
 reason782
Joined: 1/28/2017
Msg: 230
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/30/2017 1:53:05 AM

The elite use ideologies like feminism and black life matters to divide people. So instead of people working together to overthrow a corrupt establishment they fight one another.


a persons own inner conflict causes them to cling to ideologies, identities, ideas, even if true, there should be no clinging of ideas.
 reason782
Joined: 1/28/2017
Msg: 231
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/30/2017 1:54:34 AM
there should be no clinging of ideas.

one could cling to the idea of 'there should be no clinging of ideas', but a state of no cling is possible once one lets go of conflict
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 232
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/30/2017 8:44:47 PM
People can be like sheep 🐑 and want to follow someone. They're more comfortable that way, even if it's not to their benefit. McD quoting how many burgers were sold encourages people to eat their burgers🍔 Same goes for the old cereal 🍲 commercial where the kid exclaims, Mikey liked it!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 233
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/31/2017 1:35:37 AM

So I see a big issue is men divorcing and losing money.

Yeah, they lose a lot of money just with kids. One of my friends loses a lot of money, and she's married with other kids, too.

A guy could so easily protect his money with a prenup.

It's not so easy to get a gal to sign a prenup. :)

Btw, women lose money in divorces also. I do believe if you're a stay-at-home mom where the husband agreed to that, you should be sharing what your husband made and saved.

Women can lose money in them, but when they're a stay-at-home mom they don't. They gain $$ much of the time. Obviously there's wacky situations out there. But if you're going to get full custody of the kid, no, you shouldn't take half of what he makes. She doesn't have to be a stay-at-home mom-only post-divorce; that shouldn't be assumed. Some guys pay out the arse with their salaries post-divorce because of kids. It can get quite insane. Like basketball players having to dole out Tons of $$, way more than needed for merely raising kids. Other women are willing to have as much custody and their way with the kids as possible and not want to get any $$ from average Joe and begrudingly be generally OK with it. Situations vary a lot.

For example, just the other day a female coworker told me that she was messing with one of our fellow coworkers so that she can get her boyfriend to pay attention to her more.

That's nuts! Crazy gal. I'd go off on her - lol.

Even though I am friends with all involved, I felt disgusted with the matter.

I'd sit her down with a drink and lay it out to her to connect the dots, if I were to consider myself to be a friend of hers in any way. I couldn't respect someone who's that warped & f'd up as a person like that.

There are more than financial reasons why some guys give up on dating. Sometimes they run into women who repeatedly play head games with them, and they get too frustrated to ever try again.

Yeah, but a lot of times you hear so-and-so was "playing head games with me" -- it's not like your first example there. Much of the time the gal (or guy's) head is just wishy-washy on attraction, and they're just frustrated about it -- and call it playing games with them... when in reality, if they didn't really like the gal all that much but she was an OK dating option, that wouldn't be how they'd see it or feel it.

I think gals run into that a lot Online, since there's far more guys than gals -- and some gals will get the faux impression that they're a better catch than they actually are. So they'll get dates more easily with such a tilted gender ratio -- and able to land a date or two with guys a bit out of their league, but, "WTH? They just play games with me!" Which, most of the time, they're just not that into you besides going out on a date or two with -- and you're sick of That (which anyone would).

So I would say in the same to guys who feel that way too much: Don't chase gals out of your league or are of a certain unique type that gets your attraction but when you think about it, has a higher % of oddness.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 234
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 10/31/2017 6:44:23 AM
Believing out of supposed league-or even knowing the supposed league to which you belong- is very difficult for most people-few people have objective self-introspection and social quotient needed to adjust such. Often due to cultural training and social media people can become both egomaniacs and insecure. How often do parents tell bullied children, "they pick on you because they are jealous of you." ???
It may not be a game to go out with someone to whom you have so-so attraction- yet to pretend you really are attracted, to maintain dates, until you find a better option is deceitful and manipulative. Besides, two-oddballs can be very happy in LTR
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 235
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/1/2017 3:10:19 AM
I consider her my friend, but at the same time, I try to keep my distance for various reasons. Mainly because of what happened to my best friend and I. So there is no opportunity for me to sit her down for a talk, plus that moment has passed. I can't really bring it up anymore, but I will if she brings it up again.

Other than that one time, she has always been kind, so I chalk it up to youthful indiscretions. I can't say I never tried to manipulate someone before, so who am I to judge? (shrug).

I find it hard to determine what is in my league or not. Everyone feels like they are out of my league, more so if they are psychologically sound. I do feel like some are attracted to me, even though I am purposely making myself unattractive right now. How does one determine who is in their league?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 236
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/1/2017 10:26:38 PM
NG, Men and women should think about losing money to each other before they marry, but most times they don't, and then they should think more about making it work. You should know the divorce laws in your state before marrying. The courts want to equalize the finances of both people when it's no fault. Everything gets split, money and debts. My gf got stuck with half of her husband's debt. He doesn't give her money for their child on time, and forget about the kid's extra bills for medical things. I nearly got stuck with my exes debt. Nothing you can really do about it most times. People need to look at getting married as a financial situation💰💸

Inicia, when I think out of my league, it's someone much more attractive, makes a much bigger salary, maybe is more intelligent, not to say that people always choose their equivalent in these areas.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 237
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/2/2017 2:49:26 AM

Believing out of supposed league-or even knowing the supposed league to which you belong- is very difficult for most people-few people have objective self-introspection and social quotient needed to adjust such.

I agree it is difficult for many people to grasp because of both insecurities & seeing themselves although low, feeling able To be able to be in feasible reach of x/y/z when really, it's just x. I don't think the concept is supposed -- it's quite clear. There's clear differences in looks. Large shifts in $$ and fame/popularity can have a nice effect, but usually not much, hence generally speaking, it applies to looks. It's quite clear that there are Objective differences in looks... which it's subjective the closer two people are in looks -- hence the term "league", meaning a large gap, that becomes clear to see.

How often do parents tell bullied children, "they pick on you because they are jealous of you." ???

If it's true -- then that's a good thing to tell them. But I imagine it's over-used to try and make them feel better, yeah -- I get your point.

It may not be a game to go out with someone to whom you have so-so attraction- yet to pretend you really are attracted, to maintain dates, until you find a better option is deceitful and manipulative.

Ahhh, here's the problem with many people -- much the same, as you point out, who can be both insecure but also have a skewed ego-lense about themselves: MUCH of the time when one goes out with someone where they have so-so attraction -- but go out with them anyway because they're free, don't have a lot of dates lined up, figure the other is a good person/why-not; whatever the reason -- they Aren't Pretending They're Into Them. But the other person who's chasing them gets frustrated. THEY will many times play the game that they're being played with. Why?

Because she/he'd go out with them after being asked... or given enough time throw it out there. They'll falsely translate that as to "pretending to be into me a lot", when it's not. They figure one Should just fizzle/disappear, but they're not -- so they're playing games with me, because I couldn't capture their heart. Yes, I knew they were so-so on things, but I chased them and they couldn't Bite. I wasted all that time! They were deceptive!

No, that's usually not it. Many times there can be some elements where the so-so attracted person they're chasing shows more attraction -- but attraction isn't a straight line. If the attraction was fully there, there wouldn't be any chasing. They knew they were emotionally chasing them, which happens... they just lost the game. Many guys/gals they'll chase will bow out beforehand, and they assume that if they don't bow out they're "leading me on". Ehhh, not really. If you're chasing them, and you're not into just dates or just netflix & chill on occasion, ya gotta bring it up to them to shift gears or not. Otherwise, you'll just be deceiving yourself that your frustration not winning them over = them playing with ya.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 238
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/4/2017 8:06:43 AM
^Nothing in life is a straight line; that's one beauty of existence. I do believe it is in human nature to dream of what the future will hold in any relationship. Therein lies a problem for me anyway. The big picture loses all the fine small details of daily life, therefore I take one precious day at a time knowing it is indeed a gift.

Remember to enjoy one's company for what it is now today, and not what it will be tomorrow.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 239
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/5/2017 3:52:32 PM
I enjoy a right turn, and under the right circumstances, I don't mind this angle
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 240
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/5/2017 7:30:46 PM

^Nothing in life is a straight line; that's one beauty of existence. I do believe it is in human nature to dream of what the future will hold in any relationship. Therein lies a problem for me anyway. The big picture loses all the fine small details of daily life, therefore I take one precious day at a time knowing it is indeed a gift.

Remember to enjoy one's company for what it is now today, and not what it will be tomorrow.

Exactly! No girl can complain that I gave her a wrong name of mine, lied about what I do for a living, and told her I had a vasectomy. I was there for her to enjoy my company and hers to mine. Who cares what tomorrow brings?? ;)

So I don't fully agree with you on that... but I do agree that it's human nature to think of what the future holds in a relationship. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, one should. It's just that Misreading it due to what you-want-to-believe -- is what will make one shoot themselves in the foot.

Like the other thread of that one guy working on a political campaign where he has a crush on the running mate. She's friendly with him, and they became "work friends" in many ways. But he ran on this assumption that she didn't REALLY have a BF and just made it up. :) Why? Because he wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe there was a Better Opportunity than there really was. (Then the BF showed up - lol).

Point is, much the same is done when it's just some dates. No Relationship has formed, they're just-dates. But to someone who's ga-ga over the other, it's going to be Emotionally NOT "just dates", and they're vulnerable to read the Situation Wrong. We emotionally, naturally/reflexively want to Blame the other person when we put time & effort into things with them and they went along, but at the end of the day aren't that into us. So they measure how much they "used" them or the level of potential "deception" based on how far they themselves kept going, not getting what they wanted in the end.

Just because a guy or gal agrees to go out on a date, seems to have a decent time, and agrees to go out on another -- doesn't Mean they're That into you. And my point is: They're not necessarily fooling you if after 5 dates you finally realize they weren't that into you this whole time. Many times, You were fooling Yourself up until the end, as you could fool yourself that the 50-to-95% chance that they weren't That into you (as the dates went on) was more like a 10-15% chance... and that they OWED you to be that into you, merely agreeing to go out on mere dates.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 241
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/6/2017 7:44:58 PM
I have always said, and have repeatedly on this site over the years--- Dating is easy; relationships are hard.
Too many people choose to complicate life by over thinking.
 magicstillaroundme
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 242
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/18/2017 6:43:38 PM
MGTOW is more than just divorce and losing money, though it the most conveniently cited motive. To many it represents a line in the sand.

Consider what is said about a "good girl." She has standards and self respect. MGTOW are trying to cultivate self respect by having fixed standards. They realize that an evening with a carping, tattooed landwhale won't satisfy them as much as an evening of Mortal Kombat. Rather than relax their standards, they prefer to muck the hand and wait for better cards. A self respecting woman would do that wouldn't she? It is true that an acceptable woman may never come along but unacceptable is still unacceptable. Proceed as normal.
 toocash
Joined: 9/5/2017
Msg: 243
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/20/2017 8:47:52 AM
^^^ I noticed your posts years ago Magic, when I first came to the boards. I thought you were an interesting character....with good if controversial opinions. I remember your taking lots of flack. Unfortunately, the readership here is way down, so not as many who will be outraged by your posts :-)
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 244
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 11/21/2017 11:14:25 PM
My age has a lot to do with what I will tolerate in any relationship, including with family members. I even find myself less tolerant of what I deem to be unacceptable behavior, as a parent of adult children. Not that I believe myself to be more moral, but more conscious of who I am. When I was young I loved with my heart on my sleeve, passionate about too many things. While this love and passion exists, it is more focused and refined. Life itself teaches us all how to endure great tribulations, and survive. So to say we are happier alone than to compromise our belief system, it is acceptable. However there are many men that can find happiness with the tattooed "land whales" mentioned. Happiness is being secure enough with ourselves to find it in the simplest things, like human companionship.

Peace out~
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 245
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/3/2018 1:51:32 AM
I've considered it, because I have never enjoyed being the hunter
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 246
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/3/2018 12:22:06 PM
^^^^^teach those women a lesson and don't ask them out.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 247
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/3/2018 1:06:27 PM

I've considered it, because I have never enjoyed being the hunter

You can take steps to shake yourself out of the "woe is me" attitude you always carry.

You can instead not hunt (since you're not getting any gals anyway) -- but instead just interact & observe. No game plan or thoughts about getting a gal's #. Much the same as a guy with a GF can interact and get gal attention Better than he did when he was single. Why? Murphy's Law? No, not Murphy's Law. He's got better game when he's not trying to hunt any gal -- or wanting/trying to get a gal.

Much like befriending others -- do you hunt/chase a certain guy to have him be your friend? I would hope not. Does that mean one won't have friends? Of course not. You just wipe away wanting to be wanted, wanting to find dates/girls... and instead, have the same mindset as if you're asexual or have a GF or all the gals out there are sexually unattractive. You just mingle and banter just like you do with other guys. Just do that. You'll feel better, and roll better in life.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 248
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/3/2018 6:33:17 PM
^That's actually very sound advice. We always have room for friends in our lives, and more socialization :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 249
view profile
History
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/3/2018 7:05:31 PM
That guy is a nut, filled with resentment for women. I don't think he should be encouraged to meet women, because he really despises them, so it would be doing womankind a favor if he stays as is.
 whosmeow
Joined: 10/19/2017
Msg: 250
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
Posted: 2/4/2018 4:12:21 AM
Everyone has the capacity for change :) I have hope and good will towards mankind in general.
(and I'm the one still living in NY among the disgruntled L.I.R.R. riders / L.I.E. drivers...)

Good advice can only be helpful when taken.
Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)