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 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 28
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...Page 2 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
The world of romance is just like the rest of the world, a bad joke. This quote from The Dark Knight best symbolizes how people who are not accepted as desirable are treated in society.

"Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other." - The Joker
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 29
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 10/29/2014 12:03:02 AM
When I was growing up late in the last century, "decent" (by itself) generally referred to a person's morals and values. I would probably say it is similar to "good", a safe in the middle term.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 30
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 10/29/2014 4:33:08 PM
I've never said that, but I know what women mean when they do... it's that most available men in my age range aren't decent.

For every one respectful approach, I get about 75-100 inappropriate advances... from men of all ages. Right now in my inbox is a message from a self-described "decent" guy. He's been up on several domestic abuse charges, has spent time in jail, doesn't acknowledge 4 of his 9 children and pays no child support. I was at his house once when he was married to a college friend that I had reconnected with. He got her to make me leave because we were discussing a show we liked, and I mentioned how good looking one of the leads is. She told me that he gets angry whenever ANY woman mentions other men around him. She was never allowed to hang out with me as long as they were married.

Meeting a truly decent guy who doesn't comment on sex, or your body, or doesn't start out complaining about women is rare. VERY RARE. So rare some might think that there aren't any at all.

*cough*
 ChaChucky
Joined: 10/23/2014
Msg: 31
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 10/29/2014 8:57:17 PM

When women say there are no "decent" guys


I've been told it's 'indecent' of me to show so much cleavage
in this robe, but I'm still here, dude...

...just one shimmy away from revealing it all
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 32
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 10/30/2014 10:16:30 AM
When people make blanket statements that seem to include an entire gender, or race, or income level - usually it's a bit naive and based on a small window of experience. It's kind of like judging all the fish in the sea simply by what you can see swimming around you. A handful of rejections doesn't make an average - because if you seriously think about it - one success can STILL mean a 99% failure rate, and that's all it takes to shut up the whiners.

As far as 'decency' goes, I think there's far too many people online that have been scarred by past experiences and tend to assume people are guilty until proven innocent. At least in the first couple of interactions, it's amazingly difficult to appease an internet strangers' idea of a 'good' match because they are constantly fishing for faults and false promises, yet they still want to be thrilled or entertained by interesting and humorous stories. If you try to tell a funny tale without even a little exaggeration, good luck with that.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 33
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 10/31/2014 6:22:46 AM
I think it means she isn't interested in any of the men that like her because he wasn't tall enough, there wasn't instant chemistry on the first date / meeting etc. And vice versa.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 34
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 5:07:04 AM
Threads like this come form the false notion that its what you think of yourself that determines what others think of you,and while there may be a shred of truth to that people decide for themselves what they think of you....using words like "decent" to describe yourself are a waste of time as is any attempt to usurp another person's power to choose for themselves what they like or don't like...saw a thread the other day that used the word "deserve" in regard to a relationship.............what's next ? a Constitutional amendment stating that everyone has a right to a relationship.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 35
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:31:42 AM
No.....
what it really means is that she isn't willing to put in the effort to raise her standards and fine tune her picker. Women who say this expect the descent guy to just fall on her lap.
And, expect him to be perfect.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 11:56:43 AM

the false notion that its what you think of yourself that determines what others think of you,and while there may be a shred of truth to that people decide for themselves what they think of you....

This explains why when I explain to certain guys that I am not that big a deal they assume I must be and that there are enough other women out there that they should be objective and keep their options open - they refuse to believe me.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 37
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 12:24:32 PM

No.....
what it really means is that she isn't willing to put in the effort to raise her standards and fine tune her picker. Women who say this expect the descent guy to just fall on her lap.
And, expect him to be perfect.


Very plausible, I once knew a woman who was 50 something & did online including POF
she did the deceitful pic carp & never had success. (Very old pic, from very far away)

Her mantra was "They're all crazy."

Well the only common denominator was...her!

Same saying, just different words.
Better to say nothing if not lucky online, IMO.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 38
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 8:58:47 PM
I'd say that she isn't investigating every guy that shows some interest in her. Perhaps that many want a George Clooney type? Might I just point out that George has been married a couple times? Or have they just sorta overlooked that little flaw? Not many people can fairly describe themselves in a paragraph or two. If you could, I rather believe that you aren't living up to your full potential as a person. Everyone has little nuances that we overlook in describing ourselves. Stuff that we take for granted, that others pick up on instantly. Or, she wants Mr. Perfect right now. People that get to know me think I'm a decent sort. And almost all will attest to that, gave me the benefit of the doubt when we first met. Ya just have to give people a chance to prove themselves.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 39
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/1/2014 9:21:12 PM
It means they want their equal in looks. Who would not? Romantic relationships aren't the same as what you'd have with work colleagues, friends and family.
 JennaVS96
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 40
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/2/2014 1:48:28 AM
here's the thing ... it has nothing to do with looks .as far as online goes ,the problem is most people aren't photogenic , even some super handsome men have this problem and to top it off ,personality is truly half the attraction .It's hard to display your personality in words .we use all our senses in person . say I'm standing inline with a ''normal/average'' looking guy , nothing special about his looks. so he doesn't catch my eye . but then he strikes a chat with me and now i'm getting a sense of personality. i start noticing the way he talks , the sound of his voice . the way he moves he's bodyand the way facial muscles move . turns out hes pretty funny and also smells great! all of the sudden he's goes from someone i wouldn't turn my head for ,to someone i would actually enjoy hanging out with .Meeting in person has its advantages in this aspect. one way around this is to practice taking good pictures .doesn't matter if you think your ugly . get a fresh hair cut ,wear some nice clothes , and make yourself look fresh . as far as 'normal guys aren't good enough and get branded as "creeps'' all i have to said is you must understand men are programmed to reproduce (even if they don't want kids) their just programmed to want sex at a higher level than women . this is because they don't have to carry a baby in them for 9 months ,so nature is telling men '' keep reproducing '' and most men (not all ) will lie and even lead a girl on in-order to get the job done . this is what makes most men creeps . the lying to get laid. I do feel bad for y'all . i mean you were born that way but honesty is so key to most girls . once you break the trust the friend / relationship is over and then one more man makes the rest of them look like liars :-) . i do respect people who don't lie about their attentions even though knowing the odds of getting what they want drops .It shows they don't play head games and their honest , they may even get a reply their looking for , but 9/10 times they wont lol i hope that clears things up for you :-)
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 41
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 1:51:12 PM
I lump women who whine about there being no decent guys in with men who whine about women only dating jerks. The reality in both cases is that the person doing the whining is the problem. If you're a guy who whines that women don't like nice guys, ask yourself if you're really as nice as you make yourself out to be. If you're a woman who whines about there being no good guys out there, then ask yourself why you're only picking the jerks and overlooking the good men.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 42
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 1:54:28 PM

People who had no success in the dating world with sometimes blame their own weaknesses on other people. If you can understand your weaknesses, you can do things to address them, if not, then you are just running away.

Bingo. I used to be one of those guys who whined about how women never liked the "nice guys." It wasn't until I started taking ownership of my own happiness and stopped putting it on other people that I started getting results. I was 33 when I had this realization and started doing something about it. Until then I had never been in an relationship. When I was 34, I finally found one -- and it was she who pursued me, in fact.
 HornetRider
Joined: 9/26/2014
Msg: 43
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 3:43:28 PM

When women say there are no "decent" guys.Is what they really mean there are no extra good looking guys that will commit to them other than for a fling/one night stand?and normal guys aren't good enough and get branded as "creeps" for doing nothing other than showing an interest in them.


bmh33, I see a percentage of women’s profiles that have this “tone” to them. I see it as a blanket statement, a generalization thrown out there due to their frustration with their results from O.L.D. However, I see your post as the same kind of generalization in very much the same vein. My advice to the women who feel this way (and to you) is that if what you are doing isn’t getting the results that you want, change what YOU are doing. After all, that is the only thing within your power to change. Make changes to your “picker”.

I see something similar in about 1 in 3 or 4 profiles I view for the women in my area: a rant about all of the married guys, NSA sex guys, sext and nude pic creeps, etc that had contacted her. Typically, with a refrain, “I’m pretty sure there aren’t any decent guys on here.” One even likened it to wading through a sea of pennies in search of a dime. Lol!

I totally avoid those profiles since I want to be viewed for me, not apologizing and repairing the “damage” for other guys’ a-hole behavior. Like the site says, there are plenty of fish. That road travels in both direction.

I will say that occasionally I see a woman who puts her "rant" in a very classy, tactful, or even witty way... that is hard to pull off, what is essentially a negative rant, in a non-negative way. Mucho kudos if they can do it with tact, class and wit, though most cannot.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 44
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 7:29:02 PM
To me a decent guy is a man whose actions match his word. I might have met one of them a few days ago. He contacted me here on POF and told me he was looking for a serious relationship. He has talked to on the phone every night. He has deleted his profile saying he wants me to trust him and see that he is not talking to anybody else. We have a date on Saturday. He is my age and very handsome and successful. Either he is a wonderful player or a decent guy. Either way, I'm keeping the faith for now and see how it goes. My profile is hidden again, not sure if I should delete it at this point or just change my wording in it.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 45
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 8:16:22 PM
^^^^^ You're putting the cart before the horse. Talk is cheap. What he says doesn't hold weight if his actions don't match as you have said. Do the date and take it from there. He could easily put another profile up. Oldest trick in the book.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 46
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/4/2014 10:56:29 PM
I can't believe Karma deleted her account before she's met him in person. She'll be back...she always comes back. She'll come back complaining.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 47
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/5/2014 2:53:36 AM
Message 44

There isn't much point in being honest then, sounds like dishonesty pays if what you say is correct. The aim surely is getting success with dating not just the respect although both should really go hand in hand.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 48
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/6/2014 4:03:18 AM
I have heard it said that Men fall in love with their eyes and Women fall in love with their ears....the right lie at the right time is ear candy I guess.I was exchanging messages with a Woman once and she complained that we had exchanged 4 messages and I had not complimented her yet and I never heard from her again.........ridiculous.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 49
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When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/9/2014 8:04:30 AM
"When they say there are no decent guys is there are no decent guys she is interested in that are interested in her"

Women for the most part only want decent guys after they have bred with the bad asses and/or have started or finished menopause.

Decent for them is defined as a Beta male behavior that maintains a job and fulfills his responsibilities but also has Alpha male characteristics such as looks, height and physical prowess. Just think mathematical for a second. If every women wants a "decent" guy, of course there would be a deficient. Subtract half of the male population for being bald, too short (Say heelz!), under/unemployed or not good looking enough now you have 100% of women looking to date less then 30% of the male population.

Hell a lot of women want a guy who is 6' or higher yet men that tall are less then 12% percent of the population. These are not naïve 20 teenage girls stating this....these are middle-aged women.

Men that fit this profile thus logically are the cream of the crop and thus have the pick of the litter. If you want one of them you better bring your A-game and not have more baggage that can fit in a hip-pouch.
Good luck !
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/9/2014 9:37:09 AM

Women for the most part only want decent guys after they have bred with the bad asses and/or have started or finished menopause.

Yes, of course - because all young men always go for the decent naive girl next door right away. LOL

Decent for them is defined as a Beta male behavior that maintains a job and fulfills his responsibilities but also has Alpha male characteristics such as looks, height and physical prowess.

Yes that's kind of the mix we like. Throw some good humor and depth in there and you got the jackpot.

you have 100% of women looking to date less then 30% of the male population.

I'd say that one goes both ways, too. This is a tricky situation for both genders.
 usernonymous
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 51
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/10/2014 3:40:02 AM
For sure on the first part op, with one caveat.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have a lot of female friends (as well as seeing this with couples on the street) where I would not see the guy as handsome, but the woman does. Women are a lot more complication lot than what most men would have u believe. For women , it isnt all what they see with their eyes, but what they hear with their ears.

Thats why I have better luck in the real world than I have here (not my looks but I have good conversationalist skills and a pretty good sense of humor).
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 52
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 11/10/2014 7:44:20 PM
At least she is willing to hide her account and find out if it works with him first.
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