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 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 426
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???Page 18 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

Older women can date younger men and have no more or less competition than anyone else.

It's all about attitude and mindset.


Exactly right.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 427
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 6:59:46 AM


Older women can date younger men and have no more or less competition than anyone else.

It's all about attitude and mindset.



Exactly right.


True but not every woman is looking for casual sex with a man (boy) younger than her own children.
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 428
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 7:13:31 AM

Older women can date younger men and have no more or less competition than anyone else.


Her competition will be time.

Sure, a 45 year old woman can reel in a 20 year old man, but if she thinks he'll still be there when she's 60, and still has some youth in his tank, she's in for a rude awakening.
 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 429
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 7:51:03 AM
Sorry, there is just something icky about dating someone young enough that you could have given birth to them. I think those that chase young have a screw loose, but that's just me.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 430
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older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 8:38:16 AM
"Sure, a 45 year old woman can reel in a 20 year old man, but if she thinks he'll still be there when she's 60, and still has some youth in his tank, she's in for a rude awakening"

You could easily change that age of 60 back to 45 1/2 years old for that rude awakening apparently.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 431
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 10:12:53 AM
If an older woman is after a boy toy, I would think the only type of relationship they could have is FWB or FB. They are at different stages in life to build a "happily ever after" type of life. Especially if the guy eventually wants to have the standard lifestyle that everybody else has: kids, dog, pick-up truck, house with the white picket fence, (a wife closer to his age), etc.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 432
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History
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 10:13:40 AM
Looking at / thinking about the actual topic title: “older women have more competition and fewer men to choose from ???”

I’m going to disagree with the first stanza, and agree with the second.

Working in reverse order, yes, there are definitely fewer men to choose from. A lot of older men have given up on the whole scenario, dating, relationships, etc. So yes, there are fewer men to choose from. My own experiences, with dating, and with Meetup groups for over 50’s, bear this out. Over the age of 50, and even more strongly over the age of 60, there just aren’t that many men who are still willing to play the game.

But, the “more competition”, I have to disagree with that one. Women who have worked hard at maintaining their looks have very little competition. There just aren’t very many women over 50 who look good enough to be exciting. And very, very few over 60 are exciting. Just trying to find one who is acceptable in the over 60 range is difficult. But I am happy to report that they do exist, and it is well worth the effort to find one!!!

The problem is, the women who have worked so hard to maintain their appearance are discovering that they can date younger men. Luckily for me, not all of them are willing to go down that road.

I am not the first to remark on this. Abelian used to comment, regularly, that it was very lucky for men that most women would not date younger.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 433
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 1:16:10 PM
Just for the record - my son is 15. I don't go nearly that young. My cut off is over 25. And no, I'm not looking to get married, been there, done that. Also, I get plenty of messages from guys exactly my age, so no, I really cannot say that I have fewer men to chose from.

I was married for 20 years to a guy who was older than me - he didn't stick around either. So age has nothing to do with it.

Very telling that a lot of sour grapes here paint the worst-case scenarios, hoping that women will be old and alone when they are not willing to settle and just have fun.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 434
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 1:44:12 PM
Sour grapes?

I haven't once diagnosed any of the gals I've dated using a DSM-V manual.
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 435
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 1:45:43 PM


Very telling that a lot of sour grapes here paint the worst-case scenarios, hoping that women will be old and alone when they are not willing to settle and just have fun.


Who the hell said that? My bottom line was don't expect the guys who are a generation apart to be the "soulmate", because it's just not very likely.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 436
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 1:47:16 PM
There is no "sour grapes"...that's all part of the predictable brag-fest scenario that is repeated in 100%...literally.. of her posts. Funny stuff!


I think there is a great deal of truth regarding the instability of the "older woman/younger man" thing, especially when it comes to more significant age gaps, like 20 years...I have yet, anywhere in my life, at any time, seen a marriage..not just a dating scenario..but a marriage, or even a long term stable relationship, where the woman is 50 and the guy is 25. I am sure a few exist, but it's a very very rare thing and not a dynamic that really seems to appeal to most people. I think it's been touted the last few years as a way for women to "act just like men" when it comes to who they want to date, but....I doubt that's going to make a dent in what human biology is programmed to seek out. Social experimentation always falls by the wayside to biological practicality.

But then, I have zero interest in younger men (even 5 years younger these days concerns me) and yes, when I was dating online plenty of 20 somethings messaged me...no one gets a prize for that.

If you're alive with breasts and don't look like Ernest Borgnine some 20 something will chat you up.

I don't see the "cougar" thing as anything more than a "we can do this too!" fad or something relegated to a few people for which this works. Women generally value maturity and stability. Most women don't want to play "mom" and cheer someone on who is still in college or broke or scratching his way into a career.

It's the same with attractive men dating plain or homely women..you just don't see alot of that. You really don't. You're not going to see George Clooney married to Rhea Perlman.

And I totally agree that eventually, the younger guy is probably going to drift off and actually *fall in love and get married* and have his family and home. Ashton Kutcher eventually did. I think the difference between an older man leaving and why a younger man would leave this situation are a little different. There are phases of life that people want to experience and when you jump over huge chunks of things you want to experience tension is bound to start.

Not all May-December marriages have worked for men, either. Older celebrities have often had to face the reality that their young wife has men on the side to make up for having to sleep with a 70 year old at home


Anyway, life is filled with anomalies and outliers, so anything can work. I just personally find the older woman younger guy thing totally unappealing and mostly..unnecessary. I would urge women to tread carefully because so many of 'em "think they can handle it"...get emotionally wrapped up in the guy, then fall apart when he moves on to someone younger. You've really got to be able to step back, put it all in perspective and be able to be objective and realistic about it.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 437
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:22:08 PM
You may call it a "brag-fest" VK, but at least I'm out having fun instead of constantly whining how no man wants me/can't find anybody, like some others, yourself included. Does it always work out? No, of course mot, but at least I'm putting myself out there and have fun in the process. In most cases, I am the one to call it quits because I lose interest, and sometimes, I get dumped and burned. Oh well, such is life. THis has happened with both older, same-aged and younger men, so age is not the common denominator.

I have no illusions about men in general - I know most men will cheat sooner or later, that's why I don't want to get married anymore. But I also see LOTS of them cheating on their YOUNGER girlfriends/wives, so I know again, age has nothing to do with it. But I'll be darned if fear of being alone when I'm "old and ugly" will make me settle for someone I"m just not into, and who could still "trade me in" for a younger, hotter model later on. Not worth it. At least I'll have lots of steamy memories in my golden years, instead of looking back regretting things that I didn't do.
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 438
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:28:13 PM

I know most men will cheat sooner or later


self fulfilling prophecy?

I had that exact one, one time, and he did. Divorced now. Never had that thought with any other man since. Have no idea if I was cheated on but I probably was. But because of the men I picked, not because that is how I thought of them.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 439
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:28:19 PM
This


Very telling that a lot of sour grapes here

and then this?


I know most men will cheat sooner or later


If you're having so much fun, then why all the negativity?
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 440
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:28:43 PM

I have no illusions about men in general - I know most men will cheat sooner or later


DING! We have a winner.

What an unbelievably sad way to think. It explains so much.

And it is not true. MOST men will not cheat sooner or later.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 441
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:32:35 PM
"You may call it a "brag-fest" VK, but at least I'm out having fun instead of constantly whining how no man wants me/can't find anybody, like some others, yourself included."

I bet myself $5 this would be the first thing you would say. I should have bet myself $1,000,000,000!!!

What was I thinking!

Please keep up your posts though, they really do make me laugh. They always have!
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 442
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:35:53 PM
Also the younger man/older woman thing is not a "new phenomenon". This article is from the 1980s.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1987-12-20/features/8704040354_1_health-statistics-analysis-younger-men-victoria-houston

And yes, most men, if they have options, will cheat eventually. Have seen it happen too many times to believe otherwise.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 443
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:37:59 PM

And yes, most men, if they have options, will cheat eventually. Have seen it happen too many times to believe otherwise.


Water seeks its own level.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 444
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:39:52 PM
Water seeks to its own level

Yep, tell that to my friends who were in 20 plus year marriages, who caught their same age or older husbands cheating with other women. It's all their own fault, I'm sure.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 445
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:48:56 PM
"Also the younger man/older woman thing is not a "new phenomenon"."

Relatively speaking, it is. 1980? Please. That's easily within our lifetime. If you showed me an article from 1980 BC, well..that would be relevant!
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 446
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:50:42 PM
*sigh*

Yes, water seeks its own level.

Cheaters seek their level - another cheater. Another person in possession of the same character flaws.


 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 447
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:53:56 PM
Karma,

I am not saying this to be mean but your profile is selling 'sex' in the worst way. I am surprised you have any time to post here with all of the messages you must be getting.

You did not have those pin up photos before, why now? What is the insistence that you have the inside scoop on men, that ALL of them cheat? Do they ALL cheat on YOU?

BTW, I don't perceive VK as a 'whiner'. Realist yes, not a whiner. OLD is hard. Period. Especially in some venues.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 448
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 2:55:11 PM
My Mother had 2 serious BFs... never lived together but both were long term
Both guys were younger than her, the second one was 15 years younger.
He looked older tho. I never thought to call her a Cougar! Because she would have backhanded my sass mouth off my face
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 449
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 3:17:33 PM

And yes, most men, if they have options, will cheat eventually. Have seen it happen too many times to believe otherwise.


Since you're such an expert on the subject, and think most men will cheat, no matter what, it makes me wonder if you've been in situations where you're the "other woman".
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 450
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/30/2015 3:42:54 PM
I bet she doesn't date single dads either.
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