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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
I don't kiss till the third datePage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Where is it written that once you lose your virginity, in my case, a female, there is a contract that men somehow deserve sexual favors from each and every female that they casually date?


Where is it written that sex is a horrible chore for women that they are forced to succumb to-as exciting as washing floors-and only men can enjoy sex? If sex is so horrible for you, stay single and never date.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 77
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/1/2014 9:14:53 AM
'What are your views on it?'


So you don't kiss till the third date, sex till marriage. Big freakin' deal.
No need to stomp your foot about it on a public forum then ask people their views about it.
My view is......
you're a troll.




Next
*slurps coffee
 middle14
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 78
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:35:09 AM

I didn't kiss some men until the 3rd date. It wasn't general rule though. It took a few dates for the chemistry or connection to develop.


Agreed.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 79
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/1/2014 12:50:05 PM
I really can't stand it when things feel scripted. Most guys don't have any rules about kissing or having sex at a certain time, but they do often have a list of things in their head that they want to happen, when, how, etc..

But I'd rather just be in the moment with someone who knows how to let go and do that. That way the kiss happens when it feels right, when the chemistry and flow of the moment takes you both there.

Rigid rules and having everything scripted is definitely not my thing. And I personally like to kiss on the first date, unless I'm not interested of course, lol.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 80
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/1/2014 9:15:25 PM
I don't care if it is a joy or a chore no female is obligated to participate in sex just because they aren't virgins anymore.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 81
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:08:35 PM
I'm still waiting to hear how you become a born again virgin.
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 82
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History
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 12:41:10 PM
hotdogshop100 wrote:

Where is it written that once you lose your virginity, in my case, a female, there is a contract that men somehow deserve sexual favors from each and every female that they casually date?

This is why I have told guys I won't be that intimate with them the first few dates. (I don't tell them this: I'm not here for their sexual satisfaction.) If the man REALLY wants to be with me he will be willing to build that emotional relationship first and let the rest just come naturally.

As for kissing, when ever I feel it appropriate for myself. I met one guy and we chatted but I was hesitant to kiss him for some reason. Later he told me he wanted to kiss me. I thought that was nice but we never got to a second date as I found out he already had a GF and I told him I wasn't interested in someone that was already with someone else. Listen to your gut feeling. When the time is right it is right. Though I wouldn't put a specific date/time on it. Just let it happen naturally.

I also met another fellow who had me on cloud nine. It felt right and perfect! Then of course, he got what he WANTED (SEX) and that was the last I heard from him. So, I no longer (give it out) the first date. That is not why I am here. I'm not hear to satisfy a guys libido nor am I here to have a lot of partners in bed. I'm only here for ONE special guy.

No matter what the occasion, listen to your gut not your heart. The gut will be more inclined to let you know what is really going on and not blinded by the feelings of the heart.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 83
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 1:37:53 PM
Then of course, he got what he WANTED (SEX) and that was the last I heard from him.

^^^^
What HE wanted? So you didn't want it? Then why did you give it?
Don't you see? You should own your decision to have sex and not say you gave it because he wanted it. You have to want it too in order to give it...
and do NOT recant and say you didn't want it because he didn't stick around after.
I've been guilty for this so I do know what I'm talking about.
If I opened my legs for a man, it was my choice to do so. Whether it's date one or ten or whenever. I can't go crying because he didn't stick around after.
I only cry if the sex was bad
*guffaws*




If more women owned their choice to have sex, whenever it may be.... wow... the changes within the world between people it could foster.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 84
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 2:32:41 PM
Well, I've been thinking about this thread/subject for a bit now. And, I have come to a conclusion.

If I don't get any yum yums within the first cup of coffee, I'm outta there!!!! Of course, if the young lady in question IS an actually virgin, and within 5 years of my age, I'll put up with "getting to know" her for a maximum of an hour.

I've got a certain set of values, and I EXPECT all you girls to meet them!!!!!!!
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 85
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 4:57:39 PM
She is neither old fashioned nor somebody's fool. It's a choice she has made...nothing more, nothing less. It's very simple - her life, her choice.

Having sex does not make you a fool.

The only thing the OP is wrong about is thinking she's a born again virgin and that this makes her somehow "special". She is not a virgin, who cares anyway, and will never be a virgin. She has simply decided to hold off having sex until the time is right for her. Nothing wrong with that...but she ain't a virgin.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 86
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 5:02:17 PM
Meh, sounds like ilovechristmas25 is back with a new name
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 87
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 5:56:48 PM

Then of course, he got what he WANTED (SEX) and that was the last I heard from him.


Did he get what he wanted or was He left asking, "Did I shave for this"? Maybe He felt the Sex wasn't worth coming back for Seconds. In other Words, maybe You didn't Rock His World....
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 88
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 9:12:30 PM
maybe You didn't Rock His World....


Ohhhhh..... ouch!
No woman wants to hear that or is prepared to even if there's truth to it
We all think ( mistakenly assume) we rock our men's world simply because of how much they chase us, wanting sex.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 89
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/2/2014 9:32:39 PM
Ladies, news flash..

If you're shagging so you don't lose a guy? Dumb.

Shag because you want to shag.

Guys don't have to follow this dating maxim btw.

If she wants to shag? You better leave that ED at home!
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 90
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History
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 2:46:16 AM

If more women owned their choice to have sex, whenever it may be.... wow... the changes within the world between people it could foster.


How about if more MEN were actually honest about the fact that THEY "only want sex"?

While I agree that EVERYONE should take responsibility and own their own behaviour, I think there are quite a few men out there "pretending" to want more than casual sex in ORDER to get the casual sex that they REALLY want....

What changes within the world between people would it foster.... if men started telling the TRUTH?


We all think ( mistakenly assume) we rock our men's world simply because of how much they chase us, wanting sex.


Pleas, don't speak for anyone but yourself...Not ALL women are that immature...Or are LOOKING to "rock" anyone's world...
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 91
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 6:44:22 AM
Not all woman are immature enough to assume we rock men's world because of how they chase us for sex and yet you wish men were more honest about wanting only sex?

You're correct. Not all.
I was generalizing
But you have to admit, the way we are chased from the time we grew boobs can lead us to mistakenly assume we are great in bed lol and lead us to believe they left us simply because they are all horny men who want to bang as many as they can.

You know what... just as not all women are immature, not all men are horny liars.
Some do think they want more when they meet you and can change their minds
They, like us women, are only human
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 92
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:02:54 AM
Post 94, I think you're correct. Go read the OP's posting history. I'm pretty sure this is a b.s. thread...even for a born again virgin.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 93
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History
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:07:15 AM

Not all woman are immature enough to assume we rock men's world because of how they chase us for sex and yet you wish men were more honest about wanting only sex?


Not sure what your point is...?

What I said was:

I think there are quite a few men out there "pretending" to want more than casual sex in ORDER to get the casual sex that they REALLY want....


As in: NOT all men...but QUITE A FEW

Ran into one myself just a couple of weeks ago...53 years old and saying how "he wanted to get to KNOW me" and how" he was looking for a relationship", etc. When it was pretty clear that he was looking to get laid...And when I addressed the FACT that he was looking to get laid,as opposed to buying into the "story", he VERY quickly decided that getting to know me,wasn't REALLY what he wanted after all...
And btw.NEVER once denied that was EXACTLY what he was after,once I called it...I'll give him that,at least...LOL

What am I? An idiot?
And please...have you REALLY never encountered that as a woman? A guy who is CLEARLY telling you what he THINKS you want to hear,because he's trying to get into your pants?

As for associating men's attraction to me all of my Life,with the assumption,that I'm "good in bed",again,no,can't say as that ever crossed my mind...Those are two very different things....

I also learned early on how to tell the difference between someone who is interested in me as a person and someone who is looking for another conquest. Although I HAVE run into guys who have GREAT "game", I can tell the difference between a man who is lying to me and one who is not...

As I said, I believe that everyone should take responsibility for their own choices and behaviour. In a perfect world women wouldn't use sex as a manipulation or bargaining chip and men wouldn't offer what they think women want
in order to dupe them into giving them what they REALLY want....
At the very least, both parties should maybe practice a little more honesty with themselves and others before inflicting themselves on the unsuspecting dating population...
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 94
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:16:33 AM

Where is it written that sex is a horrible chore for women that they are forced to succumb to-as exciting as washing floors-and only men can enjoy sex? If sex is so horrible for you, stay single and never date.


Seriously, whenever these topics veer into 'women reward men with sex because men do XYZ for them' I always feel pretty much out of the loop.

For me, good/great sex with someone that matters to me (and vice versa) has always felt like it's (its'?) own reward.
 Supersoulson
Joined: 10/21/2014
Msg: 95
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:31:23 AM

the way we are chased from the time we grew boobs can lead us to mistakenly assume we are great in bed



Soooooooooooooooooooo not true - we HOPE you are great in bed.
A man chases a woman because he thinks she will look good naked and has one of those things between her legs that feels really good !
But ... simply having a vajayjay and looking good naked does NOT equal " great in bed " ...not by a long shot !!!!


*takes a forkful of scrambled eggs
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 96
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:35:05 AM
Dee: Bingo. Your statement was as true as it gets and explains why women aren't so willing to be sexually intimate with men right away. Too much lying going on in the beginning.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 97
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I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:59:00 AM

Seriously, whenever these topics veer into 'women reward men with sex because men do XYZ for them' I always feel pretty much out of the loop.

For me, good/great sex with someone that matters to me (and vice versa) has always felt like it's (its'?) own reward.


And I AGREE!!!!

Let me be clear and say SOME women use sex as a manipulation...not ALL women....

Some of us are capable of enjoying (good!) sex, and I, personally, never used that as any kind of "bargaining tool" or "reward" with ANY man....

I have actually met women who give their SO's blow jobs only on their BIRTHDAYS!!!!

I mean...wow!

And I know some women who will also "close up shop"as a means to get their own way...Ewwww...

That's always my visceral reaction...ewwww....

But it DOES happen! About equally as much as men who tell women what they think they want to hear, to get laid.

I've actually been in a position where I actually WOULD have and was quite PREPARED to, sleep with a guy and then he started his "game" and it turned me RIGHT off....In fact I TOLD him that if he had just been straight about what he wanted,he would have had the pleasure of my,ahem,COMPANY,but because he was obviously trying to manipulate me,it was just NOT going to happen!!! LOL
The expression on his face was PRICELESS!!!
Downside to that,I didn't have sex either! lol

But yeah,these are the "games" that many men and women still play even in today's enlightened times...in all of the various combinations and permutations...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 98
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 9:35:41 AM

I've actually been in a position where I actually WOULD have and was quite PREPARED to, sleep with a guy and then he started his "game" and it turned me RIGHT off....In fact I TOLD him that if he had just been straight about what he wanted,he would have had the pleasure of my,ahem,COMPANY...


What exactly was the game? If he said he wanted sex and you said no, how is that a game?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 99
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History
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 9:47:15 AM
Nope,that WAS the problem he started in on how he "wasn't the type of guy that just wanted sex" and he "really wanted to know the person that he was sleeping with", etc.

I mean,come on....we met in a BAR and I'm really NOT expecting to meet the love of my Life in a bar...

Also,when he took a breath,I asked him flat out if he wanted to sleep with me and he couldn't get a "Yes" out any faster! LOL

So, sorry to disappoint...it WAS a game,and we actually went on to have a really good and HONEST convo about how men say things like that because they think it's what women WANT....

While he's not necessarily representative of ALL men, I have spent quite a bit of time around men and talked to many about the subject and have heard many of the same stories....
By the same token,I also know many women who have ended up in lousy relationships just because they wanted to have sex and couldn't JUST do that....It HAD to be in the context of a relationship of SOME kind, for them to feel"okay" about it....So you can see how these things often come together....
 funchesf
Joined: 6/27/2014
Msg: 100
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 11/3/2014 10:29:21 AM

I don't kiss till the third date and I don't care if it's old-fashioned! I have my morals and my values. The way I see it is if I'm worth it, a guy will stick around. One of my female friends said that's very outdated but I do not care. I'm a good Catholic girl and I try hard to follow my faith. What are your views on it?


it's perfectly ok for a good Catholic girl to kiss on the first date as long as it is done without "lust" ..since Lust is deem as an being an abomination even if you wait on the third date a kiss would still be a sin if done out of lust

you can't even kiss him like a brother since incest is also banned, the only option you have for kissing lustfully is to blame it on Satan (the devil made me do it) then falls to your knees and ask for forgiveness and say three hell Marys ...oops...er... I meant say three "hail" Marys

but the best thing about dating a good Catholic girl is that they are commanded to love you, makes for a worry-free first date
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