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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Women in their 30's not having time for men      Home login  
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 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 101
Women in their 30's not having time for menPage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

yep I work from home. make my own hours.

I have friends all of which I have had for 20+ years.

I was an only child and my extended family is scattered around the world, just me my daughter, mother and two cousins still live in town.

I have a weight set in my house that I use every morning when I get up and every night before sleep.

And all those things can be attended to leaving plenty of time to devote to a potential or actual relationship.


That's a pretty unique situation. I'm total opposite, I only go home to sleep, I do everything else out there in the world. My house is my temple, my resting place, my center and nothing is done at home except for grooming, reading, doing yoga, meditating, and watching TV.


But spending all night hanging out with my friends for nights on end is reserved for times when I have no SO in my life. So is going on road trips, going out dancing etc etc.....

That's exactly what we're getting at, at this moment we are single and therefore we have already accounted for all our time, which unfortunately means there isn't an amenity of time for other activities or people. Time will pass no matter what, you can't make time for something/someone who is not presently there.

I for once, spend a lot of time jam-packing my schedule with work, friends, spa visits, etc, every week. I have plenty of time to date, but they have to be consistent and quick to propose that we meet, or they will miss the boat. I wait for no one, so whatever/whoever comes up first, that's what gets scheduled.

Here's an example: I was dating someone who I'd meet on weekends. Last weekend he suddenly couldn't see me, and told me a day before, so I scheduled something else with my friends. During the time I was with my friends, he texted asking about my day. I didn't reply for at least an hour, I don't see the point of spending time exchanging messages, when I'm spending LIVE time with my friends. I'll reply when I'm heading home. He just asked me on Wednesday what are my plans for the weekend, and since he cancelled last weekend, I saw no reason to make time for him this weekend, my interest in him has already declined.


Actually I'm pretty sure most women here in the past have been too accommodating to men and got burned and realized that romantic relationships are temporary and fleeing so they focus on people (family and friends) and events they have that will be around for decades. Great trade off vs being deeply disappointed in the opposite gender.


There might be a lot of truth to this, minus the seemingly negative parts. Making time for those of permanent nature versus temporary nature seems a wise choice, stability is an attractive concept.


Point is, the white indigenous European is on the way out, if relationships and, ultimately, marriage don't flourish. Without a sustained birth rate of 2.11 (I stand corrected from my previous post) any remaining children will be subject to Islam. Once those children have gone, Europe, including Britain will have disappeared as you know it now. May be you don't care about this extremely important issue. Fine, if you don't, but then please don't harp about the UK's islamification and it's future oppression of women. As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm off to an area of the world that puts greater emphasis on relationships. I've really had it with English women (Scottish excepted). I'm off for a life in the land of Latinas. Incidentally, I'm not into short term sexual flings, nor do I play games. I'm extremely reliable and have experienced absolutely no reliability from London women.


You say it like it's a bad thing, what good have we done to the world and people outside of our race? Have we not striven to be a powerhouse at the cost of everyone and everything else? Have we not attempted to tap into everyone else's natural resources, exploit it, and not care about the damage we are doing to the world nor the people that inhabit those areas? I'm sorry but I don't think we need to be around, we've done a lot more damage to the world than any other race or groups of people.

I do not share your opinion that we are headed to "islamification", I think it's the other way around, we are finally waking up and realizing that perhaps what we've been doing all along has no reason for being, and it needs to stop. People are no longer marrying solely out of survival, not reproducing just because they can, and refusing "group think". People are honing their individuality and choosing to take advantage of what the world has to offer instead of doing what everyone else is doing.

You may think you are moving to an area where women value relationships over whatever it is you think other women prioritize. Unless you go join a tribe in the most indigenous parts of the world, they've been exposed to the western world and may no longer hold onto their past traditions/customs/values. They may have realized there is a lot more to the world than being with a man and having children. It may be a different kind of grass wherever you go, but grass indeed. While you have expectations about them, they have expectations of you, be sure to find out what is the price you need to pay to be fortunate. All you will represent for the majority of Latinas, is an opportunity to come to the United States and leave you for someone they really fancy. Like I said, different grass, but grass indeed, get informed.

All the best on your quest though, report back if you survive.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 102
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/26/2014 5:13:55 PM

It is plain to see that unless British judeo/Christian women change their thinking very fast, the birth rate will fall further.


Aviator1, I have read lots and lots of bitter “blame the women,” rants on here, but you’ve reached a new low with this post. So the entire world will fall under Islamic (or whatever!) rule if “British judeo/Christian women” don’t step it up and do what you want them to do….and procreate, of course.

There’s got to be some kind of award for that level of insanity. You hurry off to South America, now, where women still put importance on “relationships” and start popping out them little aviators! Maybe there’s still time to save the world!

Gawd! :/


I’ve really had it with English women (Scottish excepted). I'm off for a life in the land of Latinas


Adios!
 Aviator1
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 103
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 12:30:07 AM
(quote) You say it like it's a bad thing, what good have we done to the world and people outside of our race? Have we not striven to be a powerhouse at the cost of everyone and everything else? Have we not attempted to tap into everyone else's natural resources, exploit it, and not care about the damage we are doing to the world nor the people that inhabit those areas? I'm sorry but I don't think we need to be around, we've done a lot more damage to the world than any other race or groups of people.(/quote)

So are you blaming yourself for Western ideological shortcomings? In Britain we are extremely charitable to the rest of the world's inadequacies, in fact in many instances our government has put third world races, before our own, an example being Syria. £600 million was given to them, whilst thousands lost their homes from floods in the UK, with little or no help, not even from insurance. I find your attitude defeatist. If you are lucky enough to be born into a wealthy, democratic culture, then surely you should embellish that. I do not think we have exploited anyone, without our help, many of these nations would not even exist. The truth is, we as Western nations, have been naive in doing so, as many cry for help and throw it back in our faces. Hence, many of these countries have become hell holes to live in. Now the tables have turned. The debt the USA and European countries are in is massive and we can no longer afford to hold the world together, as we used to. Hence Islam has realised this and is taking advantage of it.

(quote) I do not share your opinion that we are headed to "islamification", I think it's the other way around, we are finally waking up and realizing that perhaps what we've been doing all along has no reason for being, and it needs to stop. People are no longer marrying solely out of survival, not reproducing just because they can, and refusing "group think". People are honing their individuality and choosing to take advantage of what the world has to offer instead of doing what everyone else is doing.(/quote)

That is the very point. If you don't reproduce, your race/culture becomes extinct - probably easy for you to digest, as you probably won't be alive to witness it. So you believe we should just give up our roots and heritages and become history? I don't share that view. Without Western civilisation, the world would be living like cave men. Please give me an example of an invention or discovery that muslims have made.


(quoteYou may think you are moving to an area where women value relationships over whatever it is you think other women prioritize. Unless you go join a tribe in the most indigenous parts of the world, they've been exposed to the western world and may no longer hold onto their past traditions/customs/values. They may have realized there is a lot more to the world than being with a man and having children. It may be a different kind of grass wherever you go, but grass indeed. While you have expectations about them, they have expectations of you, be sure to find out what is the price you need to pay to be fortunate. All you will represent for the majority of Latinas, is an opportunity to come to the United States and leave you for someone they really fancy. Like I said, different grass, but grass indeed, get informed.(/quote)

I am more than happy to join "a tribe" in my case, I shall be in Chile, a country that has indeed been westernised to a great extent - even Walmart has made an impression on it. I do not believe Chilean women are that naive, they are proud of their roots and heritage, but some are prepared to embrace European cultures too, particularly if you are prepared to make an effort to fit in with Chilean society. I have no intention of ever entering the USA, let alone moving their, so any Chilean woman seeking that won't be in luck. I will, however, be leading a very comfortable life, compared to that of the UK and I would be happy to return to the UK with any Chilean partner to prove my case.
I should also add that the USA and the UK are two very different countries and if I had to choose between the two, it would be the UK,
 Aviator1
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 104
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 2:44:01 AM
(quote) Aviator1, I have read lots and lots of bitter “blame the women,” rants on here, but you’ve reached a new low with this post. So the entire world will fall under Islamic (or whatever!) rule if “British judeo/Christian women” don’t step it up and do what you want them to do….and procreate, of course.

There’s got to be some kind of award for that level of insanity. You hurry off to South America, now, where women still put importance on “relationships” and start popping out them little aviators! Maybe there’s still time to save the world! (/quote)

I really don't think European women, let alone English and American women will change. To be honest, if they did now, it would be too late anyway. But, as a human being, with both instinctive and doctored ideologies, I feel I have the right to search for what I believe in. If you're happy to watch your race/culture diminish, then go ahead and reap the rewards, which you'll find out soon enough (you're clearly in denial) . I'm not gullible enough and in denial enough to do that. I seek happiness in lands away from repression and oppression. The UK is well on the road to both, thanks to the European Parliament.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 105
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:33:51 AM
I don't think this is gender or age specific trait. There needs to be some balance. I'm not interested in a clingy woman that has no social life outside of her partner. But if a woman is only available 1-2 times a month on a regular basis, that arrangement would be okay for a FWB, not a LTR though.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 106
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 11:45:20 AM
Aviator, I'm sure you know enough history to know how and why the USA was founded , so don't try to make it sound like we're actually talking about two separate groups of people, it's all one and the same, which eventually evolved but yet founded by the same.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 107
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 12:46:30 PM

I agree it is an awesome place to be. I love being able to do what I want and when I want

If every woman you've dated has only wanted to spend time with you once a week - you already were able to do what you want when you want...so what was your complaint about?

if a woman is only available 1-2 times a month on a regular basis,

I don't think anyone here said once or twice a month. The argument was originally about no more than once or twice a week.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 108
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 1:03:32 PM
I don't think anyone here said once or twice a month. The argument was originally about no more than once or twice a week.


My statement about dating a person once or twice a month was just an example. Never claimed someone on this thread said that. Dating a person once or twice a week would be fine with me.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 109
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 2:10:38 PM
When I am dating some one I want to spend a few times a week with them. Now that I haven't dated in a bit I kind of enjoy having my own time do whatever I want. I have given up on trying to find exactly what I want because I have yet to find it. Part of that is not many women know how to deal with a guy like me. I am a very quiet person and not a lot of girls seem to like that. I am very introverted and after a work week I am very drained from working with people.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 110
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:55:32 PM
I guess my view on this subject comes from the fact that I did not go through dating in my mid to late 20's

I was married at 21 and divorced at 29-ish so my dating experience is from my teens and very early 20's and from 30 until now and dating now sucks. in group counseling I was told this is common for men who married young, because we did not gradually go through the different stages of single life, so are unprepared for the expectations placed on us. All I know is I haven't felt really wanted since I was 20. yes there have been women who found me attractive, yes there have been women who wanted to casually date me, but I am not talking about that, I mean that girl who is at the other end of the room, at a cool bar, or party at a friends house or wherever and she notices me or I notice her we lock eyes as guns&roses blasts in the background, and talk until last call or everyone is leaving the party and from that point we are and item until we are not. yeah its been over 20 years since I got to feel that rush, something beautiful has died in women and it saddens me. it weakens in the mid 20's and dies by the 30's.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 111
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:40:19 PM

When I am dating some one I want to spend a few times a week with them.

I am very introverted and after a work week I am very drained from working with people.
Whaat? How can you be drained from being around people, yet wanting to spend a few days a week with a woman? Most self professed introverts freely admit to needing a good amount of alone time. This seems a bit conflicting to me.

its been over 20 years since I got to feel that rush, something beautiful has died in women and it saddens me. it weakens in the mid 20's and dies by the 30's.
So.. because you haven't felt that rush/chemistry with a woman in over 20 years, that means that something has died in all of woman kind?

*incredulous*
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 112
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:01:07 PM
I do need a good amount of alone time. With working afternoons I get lots alone time before work and with having friday and saturday off I spend all day friday for alone time too. What I would like is to have some one to spend my friday or saturday evening with. It is very difficult to find a woman that wants that or can deal with an introvert.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 113
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:02:39 PM
^^ I understand how introversion plays a role in dating, I started a thread on that topic actually. It's just that my issue is the opposite of yours, lol.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 114
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:29:23 PM

I was told this is common for men who married young, because we did not gradually go through the different stages of single life, so are unprepared for the expectations placed on us.


Different stages of life? I don't know about that, but unprepared? You wouldn't be prepped at any age, and you're 44 now. At what age do you think marriage would be good.


and from that point we are and item until we are not. yeah its been over 20 years since I got to feel that rush, something beautiful has died in women and it saddens me. it weakens in the mid 20's and dies by the 30's.


Did you just write out a delusional reality where your account of - "something" in women dying by the age of 30. equates to you not feeling loved, and you haven't felt loved, since you were at a guns and roses house party at the age of 20?

You really have to dial it back with the egomania. Nothing died in women, because you stopped getting that "rush" with some women, when you were younger. I mean even if you meant it as a metaphor that is completely wrong.

The real problem is you stopped growing up at that point, not something in women died. Because your theology on dating, and women, and your experience. Basically says that you've been stuck, and stuck a long time ago.

If 2,3,4 people call you wrong, you may be wrong. If everyone calls you wrong, you are definitely wrong. That is a definitive way to find out you're wrong. But you're so focused on what you think, you can't even notice. Its amazing really.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 115
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:44:32 PM
I think that if the gal is not really into YOU she will make her friends and family a priority. She may keep you on the back burner for when she is a bit bored or has nothing much else to do.

In reality if a gal really wants to spend any time with you, she will clear her schedule and make time. No one is ever that busy.

You have not met anyone that is in love with you or fascinated with your company, yet. You may need to develop your interests and hobbies so you are a more interesting person. Being a homebody does sound rather dull, for a man. IMO.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 116
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 7:08:03 AM

Different stages of life? I don't know about that, but unprepared? You wouldn't be prepped at any age, and you're 44 now. At what age do you think marriage would be good.


Actually I did quite well in dating in my youth. The rules were simple, be funny, Kind, fun to be around, and treat the object of your affection as if she is the most important thing in your universe, and the rest took care of its self.


Did you just write out a delusional reality where your account of - "something" in women dying by the age of 30. equates to you not feeling loved, and you haven't felt loved, since you were at a guns and roses house party at the age of 20?


Not delusion, in fact, it was one of many good moments in my life, one great memory that still pops into my head 2 decades later, I have many such memories. and comparing dating then to dating now, yes that point in my life wins on the happiness meter every time.


The real problem is you stopped growing up at that point, not something in women died. Because your theology on dating, and women, and your experience. Basically says that you've been stuck, and stuck a long time ago.


Growing up does not have to mean killing one of the best parts of life. Making something beautiful more difficult that it should be.

It is no delusion for me dating was much easier then. and a lot more fun.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 117
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 7:20:08 AM

Whaat? How can you be drained from being around people, yet wanting to spend a few days a week with a woman? Most self professed introverts freely admit to needing a good amount of alone time. This seems a bit conflicting to me.

It IS conflicting. The reason I don't want to spend more than once or twice a week with a new prospect is because I want some alone time.

So.. because you haven't felt that rush/chemistry with a woman in over 20 years, that means that something has died in all of woman kind?

*incredulous*

Isn't it? There are people that feel that daily. Just not this particular person. Funny how someone's personal experience with women becomes a world wide problem - to that person, anyway. Perception is reality I guess.

I do need a good amount of alone time. With working afternoons I get lots alone time before work and with having friday and saturday off I spend all day friday for alone time too. What I would like is to have some one to spend my friday or saturday evening with. It is very difficult to find a woman that wants that or can deal with an introvert.

And now we're back to once a week, which was the initial complaint. The only way that this could be a problem is if someone isn't available on the one day you want them to be - which then comes down to a standoff between two schedules, not a problem with women having free time.

If you want them to just clear the day you have because you feel your schedule is more important - then this is about you not making time equally. This was pointed out somewhere on page 1, I believe.

I am not a homebody, I do go out on my days off. Like I said, a lot of women don't know how to deal with a quiet introvert like me. The last girl I went out with, things were going pretty good for the first couple of weeks but she couldn't deal with how quiet I am. I spend most of my time alone cause after dealing with people all week at work I need the alone time. I am not changing the way I run my life just to make me more interested in the opposite gender.

So now the topic has changed. You want a lot of downtime and need someone to appreciate that by giving you space and understanding who you are, which is in no way related to "women in their 30s have no time for men". Do you just want to have something to discuss so that the conversation with you doesn't die out?
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 118
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 7:22:40 AM
I am not a homebody, I do go out on my days off. Like I said, a lot of women don't know how to deal with a quiet introvert like me. The last girl I went out with, things were going pretty good for the first couple of weeks but she couldn't deal with how quiet I am. I spend most of my time alone cause after dealing with people all week at work I need the alone time. I am not changing the way I run my life just to make me more interested in the opposite gender.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 119
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 8:58:21 AM

The reason I don't want to spend more than once or twice a week with a new prospect is because I want some alone time.
Same, and I need things to build slowly. In a way that I can trust. If it moves too fast or I can tell the guy can't be self possessed (able to stand on his own, not shaken by my desire for alone time), I just shut down. I don't even have a choice in the matter, my feelings just turn off.

Perception is reality I guess.
And self fulfilling prophecies abound.

Like I said, a lot of women don't know how to deal with a quiet introvert like me. The last girl I went out with, things were going pretty good for the first couple of weeks but she couldn't deal with how quiet I am. I spend most of my time alone cause after dealing with people all week at work I need the alone time. I am not changing the way I run my life just to make me more interested in the opposite gender.
I don't understand how any of this has to do with the amount of time a woman wants to spend with you? Or is it that you are coming to the realization that it was a compatibility issue, and not a grudging refusal to give you what you need?

Listen to yourself.. you're talking about what you refuse to do and give, while simultaneously complaining about this same attitude in women, and then projecting that they have a 'me first' attitude.... c'mon. It's like a neon sign here!

I heard it said once that the only thing missing in any situation, is what you yourself are not giving. That has been very inspiring and inspirational to me. Just thought I'd share.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 120
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 9:21:21 AM

I need alone time. I am not changing the way I run my life just to make me more interested in the opposite gender.

Well I know one one of the things you'll be doing with your vast amount of "alone time"

There is always change in the way you run your life when you need to take into account someone else. Now a days the Internet does make it easier to be alone, it was always a pain running off to the video store.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 121
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 9:23:13 AM
Part of it is a compatibility issue. Part of it too is a lot of women seem to want an instant connection with some one. A lot of the women I have met want me to be something I am not. When I saying not changing the way I run my life for some one I was referring to an earlier post about me being a homebody and not having hobbies or interest. And how that makes me boring and not many women like that. I am not going to just pick up a hobby or change my interests to impress anyone. I am not going to change who I am for some one. I have tried that before and became very uncomfortable. When I am dating someone I give all I can. I know my work schedule makes things difficult but I do my best to work around it.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 122
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 9:28:21 AM
I was referring to how a post earlier said I haven't met anyone yet cause I was a homebody and don't have an hobbies or interests. Cause of that I am dull and boring and a lot of women aren't interested. I am not going to all of a sudden start having a bunch of hobbies or start getting interested in things to make some one like me. That is what I mean when I say I am not changing my life for some one.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 123
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 9:33:52 AM

I was referring to how a post earlier said I haven't met anyone yet cause I was a homebody and don't have an hobbies or interests. Cause of that I am dull and boring and a lot of women aren't interested. I am not going to all of a sudden start having a bunch of hobbies or start getting interested in things to make some one like me. That is what I mean when I say I am not changing my life for some one.


How interesting. Would you date you? I'm just wondering what it is you offer a woman.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 124
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Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 9:39:55 AM
I don't have any hobbies but I do have lots of interests. I like to go for drives, go camping, watch hockey, watch movies and travel. There is things I life doing but I am not going to fill up all my free time doing it.

My question to you is what should I offer a woman?
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 125
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 12/28/2014 10:45:55 AM
Since when is it someone's job, male or female, to entertain someone? I certainly don't think it's any human's job - get a life.
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