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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Women in their 30's not having time for men      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 201
Women in their 30's not having time for menPage 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I at one time had a lot of time for a man.....but they never had time for me.....so I quit waiting around.

Hey....what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It's really pretty simple....women have a lot going on in their lives. We are now taught never to wait for a man to take care of us.....so we have gone out, earned degrees, worked hard in our careers, some of us are single parents, we volunteer, join sporting leagues, clubs, and volunteer.

We are NOT waiting at home by the phone waiting around for a man to call us up at the last minute for a date that THEY decided to take time out for because their buddies flaked out on them and they didn't want to sleep in an empty bed on Saturday night.

When you get down to it.....it really isn't that difficult to figure out.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 202
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/14/2015 4:14:56 PM
A lovely man who never seems to have time for anything other than his own commitments keeps making contact with me.

He usually only has a few hours free at a time.
Enough for a lunch or dinner but nothing more.

He contacted me yesterday to wish me happy Valentines Day and advised that he had a couple of hours spare.
I already had plans.
Saw him on line today and phoned him to suggest we get together for yum cha and a movie today.
No answer no response.


See it goes both ways.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 203
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/14/2015 4:23:20 PM
^^^ +1

but alas.....NO answer/NO response.......IS an answer and response.......
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 204
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/14/2015 5:52:39 PM

We are NOT waiting at home by the phone waiting around for a man to call us up at the last minute for a date that THEY decided to take time out for because their buddies flaked out on them and they didn't want to sleep in an empty bed on Saturday night.


THIS!!!! A similar scenario just happened to me yesterday and the guy seemed genuinely shocked when I told him to get lost. Guys like this are either stupid or liars.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 205
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 2:17:28 AM
It's kind of funny seeing this thread started by a male. I'm used to hearing this complaint from women.

There was a stupid meme I saw on Facebook no less than a zillion times not too long ago. It went something along the lines of "if he's into you, he will make time for you. ALWAYS! NO EXCUSES!" Of course, nearly every female on my Facebook ate it up.

I wanted to f*cking puke.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 206
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 3:56:01 AM

Saw him on line today and phoned him to suggest we get together for yum cha and a movie today.
No answer no response.

Maybe he's not into yum cha - or at least not yet - you have to wait a bit before mentioning the kinks you're into. It takes a lot of trust before I'll yum cha with my partner, but after the ice is broken I'll yum cha the stuffing out of her.

You don't yum cha on the first date, do you?

Hussy.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 207
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 11:19:27 AM

It's kind of funny seeing this thread started by a male. I'm used to hearing this complaint from women.

Yeah, well the OP has issues - he should have opened this thread with "women I am dating don't have free time when I have free time, how unfair". If I recall the OP had a schedule where he wasn't around much to spend time but wanted women to adjust to the couple of times he had free.

There was a stupid meme I saw on Facebook no less than a zillion times not too long ago. It went something along the lines of "if he's into you, he will make time for you. ALWAYS! NO EXCUSES!" Of course, nearly every female on my Facebook ate it up.

I wanted to f*cking puke.

I agree. People do have lives despite meeting people they were attracted to and dating. It's possible to like someone a lot and have very little time or energy to do much about it.

I met a guy or two that I really liked when I was working full time days, going to school full time nights, working a second and third job on weekends, dealing with medical issues and dealing with my mom's terminal illness. I'm sure the fact that I had no time for them could have been translated into "I just wasn't that into" those guys but it would have been unfair.

Nothing is ever that black and white unless you're too lazy to consider the spectrum of gray areas. Some don't feel like doing that much thinking.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 208
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 11:29:38 AM

I at one time had a lot of time for a man.....but they never had time for me.....so I quit waiting around. .... We are NOT waiting at home by the phone waiting around for a man to call us up at the last minute for a date that THEY decided to take time out for because their buddies flaked out on them and they didn't want to sleep in an empty bed on Saturday night.

But that's a very different concept. It isn't "Women in their 30s not wanting to wait around for men." :) After the frustrations OF waiting around for guys & chasing them, one doesn't want to go the polar opposite route and blow guys off to get back at their previous experiences. Sure, don't Wait around -- of course. But if you were able to wait around way too much for a guy, you certainly can make enough time to deal with one when there's no wait-chasing required. When one doesn't even want to do that -- then they're not (that) interested in the other, plain and simple.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 209
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 1:06:19 PM
Ha ha ... yes I agree Yum Cha can be a bit kinky........
Especially around Chinese New Year time.

It was not a first date.
We have had over 10 dates, mostly going dutch but the last 3 dates he has insisted on paying for my meal and I have paid for at least some of the drinks.

And yes... he did eventually get back to me and apologised for not answering my phone call.
He was busy with his children.

Between his children, other family responsibility and his work - he works variable and odd hours, often on call, there is not much time left. A few hours here and there.
His highest priority is his children so of course they come first whenever he has any spare time and he tries to spend as much time with them as possible.

When we do spend time together I really enjoy his company.
He makes suggestions then has to cancel.
I make suggestions and he says he would love to and nearly always is busy or has to cancel.

We are getting better.
Last date was a Friday night. Not usually free.

He does not have time.
Pity as he is a lovely man.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 210
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 2:26:27 PM
I have to admit that of all the age ranges I date, women in their 30's are the least receptive.

I think it's time constraints, career, kids and divorce that is the date killer.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 211
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/15/2015 10:09:07 PM
Now ozsealady this sounds like a man who will fit you in if there is no other option for that small window of time. He is online looking for other prospects and I would not waste a moment thinking about him. You are on the backburner as I am sure you know. A "meet me now or never"........pass.... You deserve better than that. A man truly interested will always make time.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 212
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:15:40 AM

women in their 30's are the least receptive.


I have to agree with this statement. They are militant about their careers or about building that nest. They are sexually the worst in bed.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 213
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/16/2015 11:30:56 AM
Least receptive? yes, in light of the fact that everything else is considered more important (to me).

Bad in bed? Yes, as I've already had tons of sex I know that not just any d*ck will do, so this is not a time for exploration, you know what to expect and what's not going to work. I've never believed that women could be bad at sex (you know, the negative version of bad, not the bad to bone good definition), as I've always believed that some men lack the foreplay required to get a woman going. When such is not built before hand it becomes a challenge to even feel anything or become wet . So if a man is good at seducing and bringing on the foreplay and somehow she is not receptive, then she's just not into him or he's going about it the wrong way.

You may have been turned on at the sight of each other, but more than that will be required when the luster wears off. So I've never met a woman who was bad at sex, just women whose partners couldn't turn them on.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 214
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/16/2015 12:27:19 PM

So I've never met a woman who was bad at sex, just women whose partners couldn't turn them on.


Yup. Even my FWB doesn't just jump my bones when we get together, but we talk for 2-3 hours before sex ever happens. We slowly build up to it, a little touching here and there, cuddling that turns into more slowly. And what is "bad in bed" anyways? Just laying there? Not being verbal enough? If you are into someone, there really is no being lousy in bed in my opinion. Just seeing that person naked would be enough to get my juices flowing.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 215
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/17/2015 5:02:10 AM

So I've never met a woman who was bad at sex, just women whose partners couldn't turn them on.


Consider: If a man has had a number of sexual partners in his life, and the vast majority of those partners have been great lovers, but maybe only one or two were not, what can you conclude from this?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 216
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:51:18 AM

what can you conclude from this?


I conclude his method didn't work for those two women. Not everything works on everybody. Then there is when it happened, in your teens, in your 20s, 30s, etc. If I were to classify sex by the first couple of partners I had, I would have thought that not feeling anything but anticipation of something that never came, was the standard.

So should I assume they were bad at sex when I myself was not experienced enough? As far as I know, we were more than likely mutually bad at sex at that point. You're sticking it in but get no bodily response, you're pumping away and there is no point in which there is intensity (close to having an orgasm), no point in which you are being caressed, touched, grabbed on, made eye contact, etc. You don't make her feel anything and she's totally disconnected as a consequence, he's trying to come as soon as possible because he's going to go limp if this situation goes on for much longer, because most men want to feel like there are indeed pleasing a woman, so when it doesn't happen, it's "whack".
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 217
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/17/2015 1:51:29 PM
The OP said this back in the beginning:

This world would be a better place if everyone just slowed down.


Couldn't agree more...not just in DatingLand, but in general.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 218
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/18/2015 4:52:54 AM

I conclude his method didn't work for those two women. Not everything works on everybody. Then there is when it happened, in your teens, in your 20s, 30s, etc. If I were to classify sex by the first couple of partners I had, I would have thought that not feeling anything but anticipation of something that never came, was the standard.

So should I assume they were bad at sex when I myself was not experienced enough? As far as I know, we were more than likely mutually bad at sex at that point. You're sticking it in but get no bodily response, you're pumping away and there is no point in which there is intensity (close to having an orgasm), no point in which you are being caressed, touched, grabbed on, made eye contact, etc. You don't make her feel anything and she's totally disconnected as a consequence, he's trying to come as soon as possible because he's going to go limp if this situation goes on for much longer, because most men want to feel like there are indeed pleasing a woman, so when it doesn't happen, it's "whack".


You could have saved a lot of typing simply by saying, "It's always the men."
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 219
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History
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/20/2015 9:54:28 PM
Wasn't there a similar thread in the single parents section about "single mothers not having time for dating" ? Time for moderators to merge the two.... now which section should the newly merged thread go in?

Now I gotta admit, farts are really funny. After all, you got this much air ( .................................... ) coming out of a hole this big " . " from between the two biggest hams on the human body....
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 220
view profile
History
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 5:30:58 AM

What happened to the days of women wanting to spend as much time with a guy as they possibly can.

Wasn't aware that was a *thing* women did after 25


I have noticed more and more women in their 30's or older want a relationship but only if it fits into their schedule. I realize peoples work schedule doesn't always make it easy. I work steady afternoons with friday and saturday off. I know how hard it is to make time for people. It goes well beyond that. It seems that a lot of women are not willing to change what they do in their free time to make a relationship work. I see a lot of profiles that one of the first lines is I have a busy lifestyle but would love some one in my life.

In my 30s with a very busy career , child and a mom who needed some help, I made time for who I wanted to make time for. So do other women.
Its not the time as much as are you worth the time to them.

The last few women I have been with seemed to have something going on almost every day of the week and was lucky to have a friday or saturday free to do something.

With you


I know a lot of you are going to say that she wasn't that interested in you. That is not the case as she texted almost all day every day. Cause of this I have become sort of jaded towards women and am thinking of taking a break from dating again
It was the case.
Texting is nothing. Takes 2 minutes and no face time.

I think you should tale a break too and face reality.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 221
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 5:57:54 AM

What happened to the days of women wanting to spend as much time with a guy as they possibly can.


I want to! but they don't want to with me :( or they hate my hobbies and don't want to swim with me or go on picnics or anything!
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 222
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 11:43:38 AM

What happened to the days of women wanting to spend as much time with a guy as they possibly can


they don't have the time for that anymore.
women now have children, a college education, a career and an extended family. it used to be that way back in the PRE-60's era when they were simply housewives. then they decided to do the career thing.

it's one of the reasons for America being in decline. the break up of the family where one person made the money and the other took care of the home and children. that formula worked very well in my opinion.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 223
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 11:54:55 AM
^^^How would you know, tgif? You're like the pope speaking from non-experience.

I noticed on your profile when you were messaging me that you are single (that means never married on dating sites) and have no children.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 224
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 12:56:11 PM

^^^How would you know, tgif? You're like the pope speaking from non-experience.


He did POF the old fashion way back then too - he creeped around till he found a house, and then shoved paper messages about how awesome he is to women - to other women in an attempt to trick their mind. Only he would have to shove the messages under door sweeps or pet doors or something.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 225
Women in their 30's not having time for men
Posted: 2/22/2015 1:28:34 PM
from Aradia

I want to! but they don't want to with me :( or they hate my hobbies and don't want to swim with me or go on picnics or anything!


i'd like to know more about you Aradia. I know you post a lot on here but i'd like an answer to these questions if you'd be so kind.
what are some of the positives you bring to the table in a long term relationship?
what is it about you that a man would say "Aradia is the one for me"?

Tom
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