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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 20
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I might look like a "biker" because of my tattoos and smooth head, but I'm not.


Who but a biker would have a photo at a biker event, motorcycles as an interest, and include riding a motorcycle in your text? Unless "biker" has some subset definition within the biker community, you ARE a biker! Other bikers might consider it a negative you don't consider yourself one. The anti-biker people are going to hit the back button no matter what. The "1%" hardcore types probably are already aware you're not a conformist to the lifestyle.

As to being perceived as a badboy, congratulations! That's a good thing. A huge percentage of women seem to go for the badboy.



I’m far from the biker stereotype. In fact, I have a career in hi-tech with electrical engineering software & Oracle databases for over 28 years


I have a career in IT and it wasn't unusual for coworkers to have bikes (some rode their motorcycles to work). Keep the part after "in fact".



For fun I like to be out on my boat (but not alone), ride along the beach roads on the motorcycle, take day trips anywhere adventurous, attend art/music/food festivals, kayak any of the many rivers here in FL (or just off my dock towards Weedon Island), and so many other things.


You could take and upload a photo of yourself in your boat (am guessing the "boat" is a different craft from the kayak).



I am also very handy! I seldom need to call a plumber or electrician. What woman can resist a handy guy?


I'd remove this and keep your handiness a secret so people don't try to use/exploit you.



I am not talking about making fun or demeaning others who think differently, either. I like to discuss "what if" scenarios and look for solutions - not into complaining.


Best not to describe yourself as what you're not.



FYI: I'm not into "420"


I agree with those who recommend removing all references to drugs. You can address this early in conversation.



I would like to meet someone who can carry a conversation with me and challenge me, when appropriate. Also, someone who tries to stay fit and eats reasonably healthy would be nice; everything in moderation, including moderation. Because I have worked hard to get where I am financially, I would like to meet someone who also has their financial life in order. And, of course, someone who would like to travel both domestically and overseas.


Good. You're more specific than the vast majority of profiles. I've seen people on other profile reviews say to delete the "I worked hard to get where I am", saying women don't care how you got to your current state, but I say keep it for the gals who would consider it a good thing.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 21
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 1:54:17 PM
Thanks, Eric and Ainen.

Wholesome makes me sound like Susie Homemaker, Eric :p
And, believe me, when it comes to alcohol, there ain't no wholesome here!

Ainen:

I took out the "in fact" and just made that section of my career & such a new paragraph in and of itself - standalone. I also prefaced "biker" with 'antiquated' (I’m far from the antiquated "biker" stereotype.) I tell my friends often, I like to go to events by bike, but I'm not necessarily a fan of going to bike events. I am not of the mantra, "Live to Ride, Ride to Live", at all. I just ride to ride.

I also took your advice about taking out the "what I'm not" - great point! But, I will keep the handy part - they can use me ;-) ... Bill Withers style.

Thanks again!!!
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 22
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 2:54:41 PM
Hi Alan, sorry I missed your question early on, I am on a lap top. This is a huge improvement over what you had, but I do have a few things for you to consider.

Firstly, do not speak from the perspective of others, you are who you are, OWN it.

Secondly, the only hint of who you really are is enigma, and that is in reference to physical appearance not your personality, your personality is still missing in action.

Be very careful to avoid redundant and or painfully obvious content. The bold text would be an example, or at least parts of it.

Best wishes

Jerry
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 23
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:16:16 PM
I agree that the 420 issue should be addressed in the profile. I hate the stench and am allergic to all smoke so I made a reference to it in my profile, although I though it was done tongue-in-cheek and only ever had one guy try to argue the point.

It is shaping up very nicely, though.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 24
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 11:33:37 PM
Alan,

It's looking much better.
Changing wording and deleting the unnecessary really made a difference.
Nice work.

Only suggestion I have is to get rid of the enigma/biker talk if you feel you are mislabeled or misjudged.
Still having trouble wrapping my head around that since riding is so mainstream.
I live in the Northeast and the attitude is very relaxed; perhaps there's a cultural difference in the St Pete area?

Why is that sideways camping pic still here?
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 25
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 12:11:56 AM
Hi,

I would make the following changes to keep it all positive.


Hi and thanks for visiting my profile. Let's see, about me ...

I have a career in hi-tech with electrical engineering software & Oracle databases for over 28 years - I collect art from events like Mainsail Art and Gasparilla Art, to name a few - I'm a huge fan of modern-day Jazz (I also like MANY other genres of music) - and, I drive a MINI Cooper S.

For fun I like to be out on my boat ...

^^Please put in what type of boat Sailing? Fishing? Waterskiing?
Delete - the but not alone.

(but not alone), ride along the beach roads on the motorcycle, take day trips anywhere adventurous, attend art/music/food festivals, kayak any of the many rivers here in FL (or just off my dock towards Weedon Island), and so many other things.

I can cook, but I really like to go out to eat. I am a huge fan of sushi, but I have a very diverse interest of food - especially spicy food! It doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant to be worthwhile ... it has to be a restaurant that serves food with flair and depth.

I am also very handy! I seldom need to call a plumber or electrician. What woman can resist a handy guy?

Other things I do with my time include Gators football games (I'm a booster/season ticket holder), watch some TV (sit-coms [Big Bang Theory!], a few of the reality shows [Master Chef, The Voice] and documentaries on PBS or BBC), and I go to the gym three days a week & walk five miles every day.


I enjoy intelligent, curious conversations about politics, health, world affairs & current events. I like to discuss "what if" scenarios and look for solutions where others just seem to complain.

Lastly, I can be a total goof. I love to make people laugh. In my early 20s I did open-mic stand-up comedy for year in Baltimore and D.C. As you can see, I have a flourishing career in comedy to this day ;-) C'est la vie!

FYI: I'm not into "420"

As for the woman I am looking to meet/date ...

I would like to meet someone who can carry a conversation with me and challenge me, when appropriate. And, of course, someone who would like to travel both domestically and overseas.

^^^
I think it reads OK.
Just needs a few minor changes.

Regarding 420 and Also, someone who is, and stays, fit and eats reasonably healthy would be nice; everything in moderation, including moderation. Because I have worked hard to get where I am financially, I would like to meet someone who also has their financial life in order.
^^^

Perhaps something like you already have


I am seeking someone like me:
Reasonably fit and healthy, with life sorted.


Ask the questions during emails, phone calls and casual first meets.


Good luck.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 26
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 1:07:59 AM
Ugh, the first short paragraph needs to go. I don't like it. You can express whom you are by a well-written profile, and not by telling Them how they should view your photos.

Your profile reads like a list and not like a story about you that I'd be interested in reading; there isn't any fluidity in what you say. Your interests are interesting -- but the format you choose to express those is terrible.

The last paragraph is also annoying: "eats healthy meals." It's none of your damned business what a woman eats. What you're saying here is not for the benefit of her health and well-being; rather it's to appease your ego. "I don't want a fat chick" or 'She shouldn't eat much or eat just salad greens and give up cake.' Ignorant. Women have a right to enjoy meals and a variety of which that stimulates her senses and nourishes her body. you're also in your advanced years and women around your age won't have the bodies they once did in their twenties; don't become disillusioned if they aren't what they were twenty years ago."fit" is reasonable, I guess, providing you're fit and youre not a gram overweight.

Cheers.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 27
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 3:38:28 AM
Thanks, everyone, for revisiting or first visiting and sending more feedback.

I've gotten rid of the "enigma v. biker v. whatever" opening line and replaced it with:
"At first sight, you may think I might be enigmatic. But, take the time to get to know me and you'll find I'm much more eclectic."

I updated the part of boating to say that I like to take friends out on my 18' SeaDoo jet-boat. This way everyone now knows the type (powerboat) and the size (18') so they don't immediately think what you know you all think when you see a guy with a 40' jet boat! ;-)

The sideways camping photo is still there, Tater, because I think it shows off my smile.

As for who I'm looking for in the way of body type and eating habits, EternityBoresMe, I'm not going to list all the things I don't want to be around or can't have. I cannot have crap and carbs in the house because, like a damn goldfish, I'll eat them and blow up to 220, again. I'm not going to get into all of that. Personally, I'm sick of people not understanding the relative scale of the body type entry and placing "Average" as their body type when they're clearly heavy (same for "a few extra pounds").

So, I'm sorry you think it's a ego thing - you need to not add any intonation to the profile text I placed which has zero intonation. I'm trying to politely say that I like athletic/thin/fit women by wrapping that in a sentence where I'd like to find someone who also works out and is a careful eater.

Peace.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 28
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 4:13:10 AM
EternityBoresMe:

I added "reasonably" in the "is/stays reasonably fit" to match what was already there in that sentence of "and eats reasonably healthy would be nice."

I don't know where you got "eats healthy meals" - that was NEVER there. And, I don't care who has what body type, but there IS a body-type that is attractive to me. Just like there are plenty of women who [even sometimes state in their profile] don't like body hair or facial hair or bald men ... I'm saying something similar in a less blunt fashion.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 29
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 11:19:00 PM
Alan,

I think it looks great.
I'm not a fan of the bold, but I think that's a personal preference.

The "must have a picture" mail restriction will clog you inbox by attaching all her pics to the emails.
Many men here have also discovered that extremely attractive women will hide their pics because they get too much mail.

Best of luck to you!
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 30
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/19/2014 4:52:54 AM
Thanks, I'll remove that restriction, "Tater" (cute username!)

And, THANKS TO EVERYONE who replied with constructive criticism of my profile.
Unbelievably, my email on this site and another (rhymes with match ;-) is going berserk, now!
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