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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations      Home login  
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 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 51
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectationsPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You know we feed our fish chicken? Thats messed up.
 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 52
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 4:28:26 AM
People don't like people when they can't see themselves doing the same. Every kid deserves a caring, responsible parent
 yamen987
Joined: 11/10/2014
Msg: 53
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 5:15:11 AM

i still think women just need to be less shallow. But I have a associates in women's studies so that's how I learned they are shallow. And I was once a stripper.


Yah know what dude I'm so tired of seeing mostly guys talk about having bad luck on the site. I'll share my little POF story with you. This was a few years back I had just got custody of my child. I took this place simi serious at the time. I messaged and I messaged and I messaged. Well no luck. So I went to my local POF party. Were there some good looking ladies there? Sure few and far between. Mostly heffers and I mean so big they had to turn sideways to fit through the door. So I get claimed by a two heffer team as soon as I came through the door. Right? I don't want to be rude so I was polite had drinks with them. The dudes didn't look much better. I'm an average looking guy and I was for sure in the top ten guys sought after and that isn't saying much at all.

Anyhoo every woman that was at that party would message back and have and hold a conversation. There are profiles that show as active and they aren't. Oh my! The POF secret is out! So you are messaging inactive profile after inactive profile only thinking your messaging an active one. DUH!
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 54
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 5:43:27 AM
No, there isn't anything unrealistic about my preferences. I know what I want, what I can handle, and weigh everything carefully. I decide what happens to my body and I don't interfer in anybody else's right to make their own decisions, I don't want a relationship in which I'm seen as a second-class citizen and I'm not interested in having a power struggle with a partner. I won't be controlled and I don't control.

Somebody should be in my life because they appreciate my true worth and i look for the true worth of a human being that's beyond superficiality. I want a man to have a stable job because I've found that men without purpose are pretty miserable. I'm also not in a position to financially support him or any minor children. I had my children young for a reason -- I don't want to be a stepmother (live-in nanny) in my advanced age and until I age even more; I want to enjoy my life and develop myself more. (I also want to be an available grandmother when that time comes and it might be around the corner. I don't want to be raising my husband's minor children in my late forties and fifties, about the time he had his kids. No way.)

There isn't anything selfish or shallow about it. There are restrictions and boundaries in place for reasonable reasons.
 yamen987
Joined: 11/10/2014
Msg: 55
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 5:57:00 AM

No, there isn't anything unrealistic about my preferences. I know what I want, what I can handle, and weigh everything carefully. I decide what happens to my body and I don't interfer in anybody else's right to make their own decisions, I don't want a relationship in which I'm seen as a second-class citizen and I'm not interested in having a power struggle with a partner. I won't be controlled and I don't control.

Somebody should be in my life because they appreciate my true worth and i look for the true worth of a human being that's beyond superficiality. I want a man to have a stable job because I've found that men without purpose are pretty miserable. I'm also not in a position to financially support him or any minor children. I had my children young for a reason -- I don't want to be a stepmother (live-in nanny) in my advanced age and until I age even more; I want to enjoy my life and develop myself more. (I also want to be an available grandmother when that time comes and it might be around the corner. I don't want to be raising my husband's minor children in my late forties and fifties, about the time he had his kids. No way.)

There isn't anything selfish or shallow about it. There are restrictions and boundaries in place for reasonable reasons.


Yah know I like this chick. Getting hot in here. Think I'm in love. ;P
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 56
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 7:10:38 AM
Oh come on Yamen...This type of woman is way out of your leaque....lol.
She has a mind and knows how to use it.
Isn't she what you...usually call a Feminazi?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 57
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 8:51:04 AM

Some people will also tell you how laid back and easy going they are, but they have a "very emotional cat" they are dealing with and if you dont like cats then you better stop reading the profile. Plenty of people pull the "if you dont like dogs, or if you dont like this or dont like that then just stop reading now..." I hate that sh*t. It smacks of intolerance and control. Maybe in the end its alllll for the better but the LAST thing these people come across as is "easy going"..they sound like rigid control freaks that WANT you to leave them alone.

I've read women's profiles who are all into yoga (the equivalent of the male skydiving, I suppose) and you better stop reading now if you cant keep up with her amazing lifestyle. And you better stop reading if you dont like dogs, because my dog comes first!!!

Why even be ON a dating site? Just stay home with Rover.

I find these profiles creepy and depressing. Hard, cold, exacting...people firing off from some made up menu for this custom person somewhere out there. I dont see how they could ever find them. Very off putting.

I will agree that many people may have a valid point but a sucky delivery. In that case they are going to ward off a lot of people - perhaps it's for the best if they aren't willing to be more aware of how they're interpreted? I don't think most want someone to leave them alone but they do want someone to come along and fit in to their situation neatly and with no trouble...I think that mindset just develops after a while in people that have been single too long but are actually looking not to be.

I usually do want people to leave me alone cause it's just easier that way - but I'm not actively dating so in my case it makes sense. I think most are different.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 58
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 10:21:00 AM
I know we've butted heads from time to time, but my philosophy is similar to Pirate Johns.
I had the real deal, unfortunately we don't get to grow old together. A heart attack claimed him.
If I find again a connection of that depth and quality, it will be a blessing. To just latch onto any old guy that approaches me, so as to say I'm "with" someone? Why would I do such a thing?
The downfall, I think, of online dating is that some people think it's a place where you can custom order exactly what you want.
IT AIN'T.
Others believe that any person who places a profile in an online dating site is obligated to respond to contacts, as if they had put themselves up for sale. Some think that OLD is the haven of the undesirable&desperate, therefore they have expectations of responses.
IT DON'T WORK THAT WAY.
So what if a lot of people have unrealistic expectations? It's their life.
Cindy O
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 59
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History
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 10:51:01 AM

I will agree that many people may have a valid point but a sucky delivery. In that case they are going to ward off a lot of people - perhaps it's for the best if they aren't willing to be more aware of how they're interpreted?

i'm grateful for these people. they're the most sincere ones on the site because their tone is unguarded. it's the ones with blandly inoffensive, generic presentation who are telling you the least.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 60
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 11:14:20 AM

i'm grateful for these people. they're the most sincere ones on the site because their tone is unguarded. it's the ones with blandly inoffensive, generic presentation who are telling you the least.

Agreed. I'd rather hear the straight shot myself - I like to know what I am dealing with no matter how harsh it is, but some people like it served with a coat of sweetener on it.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 61
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History
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 12:11:24 PM
Agreed. I'd rather hear the straight shot myself - I like to know what I am dealing with no matter how harsh it is, but some people like it served with a coat of sweetener on it.

Yeah, I have learned the folly of being too guarded. I used to hide a lot of things about myself in fear that I might scare a date away. But then I realized, if it's going to scare her away, then I might as well come out with it sooner than later so neithe of us wastes the other's time.

When I met my wife, on our first date I mentioned all of the things that had scared other women away - I am atheist, I go to nudist resorts, I didn't have a relationship until I was 34. She did the same - she was bipolar, she was still married and hadn't filed for divorce yet, she had an abusive father. And not only did we have a second date, but two years later we were married.

So might as well come out with it all. The one who isn't scared off is the one you really want, anyway.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 62
view profile
History
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 12:18:51 PM

I had the real deal, unfortunately we don't get to grow old together. A heart attack claimed him.

Aww, geez, I'm so sorry. In one sense, I suppose I am lucky. As quickly as my wife's cancer took her, at least we had some chance to face what was coming. If she had died that suddenly, without any chance to begin coming to terms with the possibility of losing her, I have no idea how I would have coped.

Some of her last words to me, days before she passed, were that she didn't know if I would remarry, but that I needed to be open to loving again because I had too much love in me never to share it. Of all the words she said to me in her final month, these were the most precious to me. I am tearing up as I write this, remembering her voice saying them.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 63
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 12:59:27 PM
^^^^*hands PJ a tissue*. There there....^^^^
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 64
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 1:55:32 PM
Women like women in progress are examples of shallow. Only talking to men that are male models with cash. That's just how women are. Men are not as visual. I think women can learn a lot these days.
 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 65
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 2:37:37 PM
Men are very visual. Women are more understanding of looks
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 66
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 4:45:30 PM
Obvious troll makes me lose faith in my fellow man...

OT:



Men are very visual. Women are more understanding of looks


I think both sexes are visual, but in different ways. Personally, I can't even begin to understand what women find attractive in men. Muscles? I guess is a big thing, but I can't imagine what's so great about them.

As far as just about EVERY other category, some women say a smile, nice eyes, nice butt...but they're all freakin different.

Just stoppit. Conform to one standard of an ideal man and make it easier for those who pursue you.

Men, in my experience, generally tend to agree with each other on what looks good. GENERALLY. There are outliers (myself included).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 67
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 5:25:02 PM

Women like women in progress are examples of shallow. Only talking to men that are male models with cash. That's just how women are. Men are not as visual. I think women can learn a lot these days.

I understand you're looking for attention here negative included, but don't drag me into your rants with false information. There is no actual documentation or proof that I only talk to guys with cash or only consider men with model looks - I'll assume you have the wrong person.

I did say that even if cash and model looks (as you claim they do) were what women wanted spelling and grammar still matter, and that was a direct pointer to your posting skills. If you took that to be any indication of my personal preference you not only have problems writing but reading as well.

I realize you are a troll, but leave me out of it kindly. No response required. Off with ya.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 68
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 6:07:36 PM
Once again my point is proven. I should be a scientist. See women just don't know how hypocritical they are. Whine about men being visual but yet they expect men to look good too. Too many haters are. So many people wanna be like me. I can't help it.
 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 69
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 6:39:02 PM
you guys don't know yourselves
 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 70
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 6:45:50 PM
You're making stuff boring
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 71
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 6:54:33 PM
Once again my point is proven. I should be a scientist. See women just don't know how hypocritical they are. Whine about men being visual but yet they expect men to look good too. Too many haters are. So many people wanna be like me. I can't help it.


Yes blueguy you look like a movie star ..Dr. Evil from Austin Powers , take a picture of your pinky finger in your mouth, that will help you attract the ladies!! ;)
 NeilMendeza
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 72
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 8:31:55 PM
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jbkSRLYSojo
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 73
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 8:51:54 PM
And forumfella who is like 50 years old is a Caucasian version of Steve Urkel. What is up with that red shirt? Still stuck in the 70's oldtimer?
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 74
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 9:00:55 PM
His red shirt?
That's the best you can do Mr. Stanford (was it Stanford?) educated Stripper?
Forumfella was actually helping you dude. The pinky suggestion ala Austin Powers would have improved your image.
Tru dat


getting back to topic.....
I find it strange posting in a thread where the OP named droopsie has ...left... the ....building
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 75
A LOT of men and women on this site have unrealistic expectations
Posted: 11/29/2014 9:13:04 PM
Cha. Please don't follow me ok? It's creepy.
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