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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?      Home login  
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 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 200
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Other Usenet groups got attacked, for example racists often posted on soc.culture.african.american, and breeders often invaded the childfree group.


Damn those breeders!!!!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 201
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/11/2014 8:37:58 AM

Damn those breeders!!!!


Breeders and the infertiles don't play well together.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 202
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/11/2014 8:46:47 AM
@ gto...

I understand what you mean by " illogical" , I just look at it as the futility of existence, myself...LOL

I often experience situations that have NO rhyme or reason and that's one of the reasons that I have ZERO patience for those who want to force their beliefs of 'everything happens for a reason' on me....

Actually the Universe is a pretty random place as has been proven time and time again...so unless you believe that there's some divine being 'up there' orchestrating everything in a manner that WE as 'mere mortals' could NEVER comprehend...until we DIE of course, according to the Catholic faith at any rate, when ALL will be 'revealed', then Life seems to be virtually chock full of MANY experiences and situations that just...happen, with or without a qualifier of whether or not something is 'good' or 'bad'...

I believe that by the time we reach middle age most people have seen their share of 'senseless' acts of violence as well as 'mercy'...

"Ours is not to question why....."
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 203
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/11/2014 3:53:23 PM

Maybe it's a reflection of our self absorbed society.


That makes it sound like society suddenly shifted and humans changed, which has never happened. Sure things are more popular at different times but mostly it's all the same old thing. Some people are rude, some are romantic, some are filled with gut-busting hate and some couldn't care less...just like it has always been throughout history. Since written history, some claim that it didn't used to be this way or that and now it is and it's all the fault of the ruination of the old and the incoming of the new. Nothing is new except technology, people have always been this way, and they always will be. Just because someone doesn't meet your expectations and you get a relationship out of talking/meeting, doesn't mean that isn't going to happen off line, in the future, or has happened in the past, because it's how life is. I swear there are people who think all older generations were about love, respect, and endless loyalty and all the sudden it changed just to vex them.

The only thing that used to be different in the past at different times in history, is the laws. If you make one gender lesser than the other, then often they can't proceed in their life to seek what they feel is right for them, so you may have less divorce or less out-of-wedlock babies, or not allow different 'races' to wed or same genders to wed, and of course a lot more lying, but you haven't in any way changed human behavior, just their ability to function in their environment. If you think that's a better way to live, you probably haven't lived that way.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 204
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/11/2014 4:39:13 PM
The man who had a vicious split from an ex for instance and was alienated from her children, we only know his half of the story and it always takes two to make a break. The trouble is people like him feel that they are blameless victims when in fact they have bought into the whole scenario one way or another.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 205
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/11/2014 4:53:57 PM
I have to wonder if they even realize they don't like the opposite sex. They claim to, but "only if" that person behaves, dresses, speaks etc. the way the person expects. All others must have something wrong with them.

They can't seem to see that they are objectifying and if you dare point it out to them, you are a radical feminist or some sort of control freak.

If they p
let go of this tendency to objectify, what will happen to them? Will they have to admit they are afraid? Wrong? Not in control? Not loving? Should they do some soul searching?

Sounds like work.

Better to blame than own their b.s.

Can anything be done about those that are stuck in this mind set? Or shall we start looking else where for someone reasonable and or aware?

Date younger? Date foreign? Same sex? lol.



 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 206
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/12/2014 9:37:32 AM
I'd have to disagree. Modern technology has given everyone the opportunity to be extremely rude and self absorbed. Some really need to surgically remove their cell phones from their ears. Also kick into the equation that people don't know their neighbors nor do they live near their relatives anymore which even makes them more self absorbed. You can't say nothing has changed in 40 or 50 years when I actually lived through it.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 207
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/12/2014 9:55:08 AM
^^^
Very true. I find myself, friends and family using the phone to post FB messages rather then using the dial pad so we can hear each others voices.

Can you imagine if you could hear the poster's voice when moving your mouse over their post?

Would that be depressing or what?
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 208
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/12/2014 3:29:58 PM

If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?


I see it as nothing more than fingertip interactive dear diary/journal postings
iso validation, some cannot stop themselves posting to a discussion thread when they should be blogging or youtubin' *sweet baby jesus in a manger, I'm not interested in someone's hard on for a gender, that constipation is an issue or they're a deida bot . . so many sites have blog sections with which to add all those 'thoughts' . . if only here
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 209
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/12/2014 4:00:42 PM
Hear the voice when you move the mouse over their post, would be wonderful!!!!. Can weed out the prospect dates, right there, or not. Of course it would be better if the function was optional, could turn it off or on at will.

The voice is so crucial to attraction to me, that it can be a dealmaker or a dealbreaker. A reason I asked to Skype if I was seriously thinking of meeting up. If they didn't want that, could be because the partner is lurking in the next room, or not using their real ID, I was gone.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 210
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 12:06:41 AM
You mean like back in the good old days when people wrote letters, some people had entire relationships through the mail, sound familiar? LOL You couldn't hear the voice then either. People are not different.

I don't have Skype, I don't give out my phone number to people I'm not well acquainted with and then still with a lot of selection. People have always come in all kinds. It's no problem if someone doesn't like you, you don't have to meet them. There's more than plenty who will get along.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 211
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 2:14:15 AM
[quotes] The man who had a vicious split from an ex for instance and was alienated from her children, we only know his half of the story and it always takes two to make a break. The trouble is people like him feel that they are blameless victims when in fact they have bought into the whole scenario one way or another.

of course there is. I don't think he was trying to pass himself as a blameless victim, though; at least if elt this instinctually, I gave him the benefit of the doubt (personally and in terms of talking points in this conversation) and that he actually had a good relationship with the kids. Unfortunately, children are subject to the turmoil of circumstances.

This isn't to disparage the official parent's authority and decision to leave that poster for reasons she felt was necessary, either. He could have very well alienated her and the relationship, and she has the authority to do as she wishes for the sake of her family.

Sometimes, one person does fuck up everything.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 212
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 9:59:12 AM

I think if you don't like a group, you want to tell them how pissed you are about them.

What better place to complain to the opposite gender than a dating forum?

I guess that kinda makes sense, though I have always thought it made more sense to vote for/against with your actions. Seems to me that if I truly didn't like something, I'd not want anything to do with it. I guess I do confuse anger with apathy at times, but if I didn't like men - in a dating sense anyway I'd not be places where those men who want to date congregate - of course unless I really did like men and had some sort of issue with not being able to date the ones I wanted to or whatever it is people get upset about....as I really don't know the nature of the frustration when it comes to this sort of thing.

This reminds me of conversations I have had with friends on the phone who were upset about some one in their lives that did them wrong and they were sick of bothering with - in most cases that person always wants to hunt the person down and unload on them about all the things they're fed up with. I never understood telling someone off that you were going to stop bothering with. It's a lot of hot air and all it does is stress you out and let the other person know they got to you, which they are probably trying to do anyway if they are so terrible...likely the other person knows what they've done and/or they don't care about it.

Why announce it or explain it? If you simply cut contact and walk away, they'll know you've stopped bothering when you're no longer there.

Just my thoughts.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 213
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 10:18:26 AM

Why announce it or explain it? If you simply cut contact and walk away, they'll know you've stopped bothering when you're no longer there.
I feel the same, unless I feel the situation is workable, why bother wasting your breath? Sometimes clarification of boundaries or closure is needed, but after that there is no point.

It's also odd that someone would project their feelings about one man/woman, out onto an entire gender. But people do it, all the time. They are hurting and don't know how to deal with it, looking for someone, something to blame. It's sad really.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 214
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 10:43:15 AM
I'd like being able to hear voices ( well except the ones in my head - I know they aren't real but they have some brilliant ideas)
Voices are a huge turn on/turn off for me.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 215
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 10:43:34 AM
John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fvckwad Theory

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fvckwad

I disagree with this theory.

A normal person doesn't document their hate unless there ill.

Revised...

Ill Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fvckwad
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 216
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 11:37:32 AM
They "like" (in wanting attention, sex, benefits, all the good / none of the "bad"-responsibility, accountability, meeting needs, nurturing, communicating, negotiating, being fair, mutual interest) them, but they just feel rejected or invisible so they lash out..

It's a form of "deprivation lunacy":
1 Pretense of "not caring/giving up" is what passive aggressives do.
2 Pre-emptive rejection also a fave.
3 Threatening to boycott people indifferent to you "makes sense" to them.
4 Drawing attention to your disinterest to elicit pity is their daily bread.
5 Their worldly logic requires a scapegoat.
6 Their state of predicament is always incumbent on victimization by some pernicious entity controlling their movements.
7 Denied love, they believe in retribution in kind to the imagined insult/attack.
8 On birthdays they also beseech "do not do anything for me...like a surprise party..rose petals leading to a bath..etc etc".
9 To stay relevant they produce vitriol-makes them feel productive and proactive ..gotta keep a hand in.
10 Jumps up and down with how little impact the gender in question makes, nary a ripple in the big ocean of life.
11 They pity laugh at the solo death/dying with felines fools!
12 Them bitter?
13 Annoying, like air, is free...
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 217
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 8:05:23 PM

ouija2025 wrote:

I'd like being able to hear voices ( well except the ones in my head - I know they aren't real but they have some brilliant ideas) Voices are a huge turn on/turn off for me.


Most people I know are jealous that the voices in my head don't speak to them as well........ ;-)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 218
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 8:49:25 PM
Its always interesting to comment on modern society....go back thru music history(just to take one example), and you'll notice how each generation hates the "new music" that came along and their kids blasted. Or consider the greatest rock concerts ever, Woodstock. There was no cellphones, emails, twitter, no technology whatsoever to tell a country of hippies about a concert going on in upper NY. Just posters, and yet a bunch of people got the word to be there, somehow. not even Gamin to help 'em find the place.

selfishness? hubris? Greeks were writing plays about these things back in the day. F.Scott Fitzgerald was writing about spoiled Americans in the 1920's Great Gatsby and I'm sure there were Broadway plays about, well, our great grandparents' generation.

Humanity's evil? Hopefully nothing will ever come close to what the Nazis did to the world. and they had none of the weaponry ISIS has now to spread their hideous philosophy of extinquishing entire race in the most efficient, bureaucratic way while harvesting their labor and their gold fillings.

Nothing's really new under the sun, except our methods. and maybe technology just allows us to see what's always been there, like TV going into the rice paddies of Vietnam.

as for hating the opposite sex, I think the problem lies with we want what we're trying to get from them, we hate what we think we have to "go thru". I suspect this isn't the only location where they vent about all the hurdles and passwords they have to go thru to get what they want.

the solution? more maturity, less insecurity. If we could make a pill for that instead of male erections, "oh what a wonderful world, this would be" to quote a song.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 219
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/13/2014 8:58:39 PM
^^^
Remove lubriderm and AA batteries from the market.

Problem solved.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 220
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If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/14/2014 7:44:14 AM
It's one of the most difficult things to do, to separate out human nature and motivations from human activity. If you study History or Psychology or even Politics, one of the lessons will be that people with wildly different backgrounds, can end up committing the same acts... and that the expression of a SINGLE human motivation, can take many different forms.

That's why some people recognize that Humanity has NOT changed much over the eons, even as some other people are certain that they perceive tremendous changes, just in the time they've been alive.

A little example: when I was a kid, when people who had each other's phone numbers wanted to avoid saying something directly to them, they would "text" them instead. They didn't call it "texting" back then, because there were no cell phones and no internet. They called it "writing." Classic example: that era's "cowardly act of ending a relationship by texting," was called a "dear John letter."

The ability to text, didn't cause people to become more selfish. It just made it possible to more easily see how selfish they really were all the time.

By the way, I agree with Womaninprogress and Shakti, that it doesn't make sense to join a dating site if one GENUINELY doesn't like the opposite sex. It's more like an intense, wrong-headed attempt at reverse-psychology. And at some point, the hungry heart that started out with wishful thinking and the faint hope that complaining would make the focus of their desire change their minds, loses track of it all and gets into a rut. The small emotional reward that comes from petty lashing out, becomes the only pleasure they are aware of, and they forget about why they first started to complain.

Maybe this modern ability to publish all one's mistakes does make things a little worse. Only a few people would know about our missteps, before the internet. Now, once you say something in print, it's almost like carving it into stone in the middle of the village square. Perhaps SOME grumpy people stay grumpy in part, because it's harder to simply move on from a mistaken complaint, when anyone can see it and throw it up to them forever. So maybe they stick with their mistake to protect their ego.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 221
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/14/2014 8:28:17 AM

So maybe they stick with their mistake to protect their ego.

Ah yes, ego - that and pride - the things that will make you want to be right to the point where you alienate yourself from almost everyone.

Sure, we all have an ego to some extent as part of our personalities, but it's a pretty huge ego that would make a person try to prove to anyone who might want to date them that they should be avoided (and also to not see that's what's actually happening).
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 222
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/14/2014 1:14:09 PM
Igor--I think you're right about humans being able to change. For the most part. And yet we do--slowly slowly and with many creaks and groans and complaints. . . . Less than a hundred years ago, when my grandfather died in 1920, leaving a wife with a new baby and 10 other children, there was not one cultural door she could open to ask for help. And she got none. She took the new baby and married again. The other ten took care of each other. The three older boys dropped out of school and got jobs. The oldest girl, 13, dropped out to become "the little mother" --cook and wash and iron. No society, nor church charity, no government bureaucracy stepped up. As the older ones married, they folded the little ones into their new families. Today, there is in place societies, churches, and bureaucracies that would come to those children's aid.

As for managing our hate (and other underground emotions), we are in fact doing better. Not perfect, and sometimes not even good. But really, on the broad face of our culture, it is NOT okay to sneer and call names and joke about either blacks or gays. The haters who will not be cheated of their vitriol huddle in ever smaller groups. And that goes for those who hate another *because* their sex is different. I see almost a sea change between my generation and that of my children. And yes, we've a ways to go.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 223
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/14/2014 1:25:34 PM
Most likely it will turn out the Dead Sea scrolls were about this same topic
If we had to carve this into stone it would probably only be idk, one cave wall's worth
By then the OP would have been devoured by a Dino
I'm in a Mel Brooks kind of mood
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 224
If you don't even LIKE women/ men, then why come on to a dating site?
Posted: 12/14/2014 4:13:45 PM

That's why some people recognize that Humanity has NOT changed much over the eons, even as some other people are certain that they perceive tremendous changes


From the 1913 novel "O Pioneers", by American author Willa Cather-

A character named Carl Linstrum speaking:

" there are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before; like the larks in this country, that have been singing the same five notes for thousands of years.”
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