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 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 26
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Yes if men want to be successful with women, they can learn to at least be able to get around a dance floor. How hard is that? Most women do love to dance and if a guy just stands around the dance floor hoping to interest a woman when he cant dance, is at a disadvantage. One of my lovers I met at a dance and I could tell by the way he moved his hips he would be good in bed, and he was.

Women can have "approach me" anxiety too. IN a situation where she has to wait to be asked to dance or asked out by a guy she fancies and waiting and wondering if he will make the approach. These days it may be a little different though with women being more pro-active.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 27
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/9/2014 4:58:39 PM

Yes if men want to be successful with women, they can learn to at least be able to get around a dance floor. How hard is that? Most women do love to dance and if a guy just stands around the dance floor hoping to interest a woman when he cant dance, is at a disadvantage.



I do believe you should add "as long as he dances the way I expect him too", shouldn't you? I can dance but, I have found, it scares the living bejesus outta any sane person within a 10 mile radius.

Now, OT. If it weren't for the whiskey, no women would even know if I could speak English.

True story.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 28
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/9/2014 5:09:40 PM

s it wrong to assume generally that most women know a fellow asking out a woman isn't a small effort on the part of the fellow? Yes, fellows should have confidence and ask women out instead of complaining about why they aren't getting dates, but...could there be ladies who think its simple and easy, when there could be some anxiety on the man's part to do it?

I know there's anxiety - I just think it's silly. Women are just....people. Men need to care less about how it turns out and care more that they don't regret not saying anything.

You could make the argument that a lot of those women don't see themselves the same way men see them so to them someone being nervous about approaching them probably is a surprise.

A lot of my friends feel this way, yeah. It's not a big deal - what could happen? She says no thanks? So? It's all about what you fear more - the regret of not asking or the outcome of asking?
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 29
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/9/2014 8:02:57 PM
@womaninprogress
It's the outcome of asking, at least for me it is.


It's weird I understand the concept, I understand all of that and I still have issues asking a girl out. Dancing is one thing, I can ask a girl for a dance and dancing is a good ice breaker but I can't just walk up to a girl, strike up a conversation and ask her out. Even the dancing deal itself isn't a gurantee, women say they like a guy who dances but I'm certainly not the only guy who's seen girls who are dancing with their girlfriends and don't want to be bothered dancing with another guy. And me being me I just tell myself they don't want to be bothered so I don't approach. Really it's stupid, I'm a grown man I should be able to ask a girl out on a date with no issues whatsoever, it's really pathetic in a way.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 30
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 6:44:11 AM

@womaninprogress
It's the outcome of asking, at least for me it is.

It could be a no. Life is like that. Again if you have to have yes and nothing else will do then asking a woman if she's interested isn't for you. Don't do it. What happens then is you never get anywhere and you likely end up single longer - but hey at least you don't get no, right? Kinda silly to me but you have to do what works for you.

It's weird I understand the concept, I understand all of that and I still have issues asking a girl out. Dancing is one thing, I can ask a girl for a dance and dancing is a good ice breaker but I can't just walk up to a girl, strike up a conversation and ask her out. Even the dancing deal itself isn't a gurantee, women say they like a guy who dances but I'm certainly not the only guy who's seen girls who are dancing with their girlfriends and don't want to be bothered dancing with another guy. And me being me I just tell myself they don't want to be bothered so I don't approach. Really it's stupid, I'm a grown man I should be able to ask a girl out on a date with no issues whatsoever, it's really pathetic in a way.

I'm one of the girls that doesn't want to be bothered when out with friends, dancing is what I do alone or with my friends. However I am kind of in the minority on that - but so what? Some women won't want to be bothered. You won't know if you don't ask - so you ask and find out. Once you know you know - this has nothing to do with you personally.

I will talk to men (well everyone, really) and if I have interest I will make it known in conversation. If they don't have any back that's not a horrible thing, it's a possible factor that exists from the outset. When it happens I don't question myself or whether I should talk to anyone - I just see it as I got informed of whatever interest or lack of it they have. It's not personal to me - many people won't be interested in me - this is life.

Me approaching men puts me at the same 80/20 disadvantage men experience because I am not just picking through what comes in my direction. I also am at risk of being placated by men who aren't interested but will keep an interaction going with me cause they are having a slow week. So I could see it as a risk, but I'm not adverse to a no or to staying single I once didn't talk to someone that I had interest in and the "what if" of it was enough to not repeat it. I can be told in 30 seconds someone's not interested and then go on with my life. To me that's way easier than the wondering for a week or two what would have happened.

I like my information straight though - I don't care how I get the information so long as I know so I can then either learn more about them or let it go and move on to something else.
 ScurvyLittleSpider
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 31
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 7:08:37 AM
good one: "Approach Anxiety Appreciation"

Yes, there are ladies who think it's simple; or ladies who never thought about it
so
Yes, it’s OK to assume generally that many women DON’T know a fellow asking out a woman isn't a small effort on the part of the fellow.

But there’s more to the not-asking, than lack of effort; lack of thought; or biological pre-programming.

The stigma has not entirely disappeared yet, against women who take the initiative;
and in my experience, it’s reinforced (although not by every individual) equally by both genders.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 32
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 10:19:28 AM
^^^true, the stigma of an (average) woman making a move is there. But, do people still hate on Angela Jolie for snagging Brad Pitt away? I suspect among mature adults, getting approached by a woman you'd like to date, isn't seen as reflecting poorly upon her. Being approached by someone one may not be interested, however, is one more reason to "hate on them".

but then, practically all my relationships came from the woman approaching me. Every time I approach a woman, she says no, b/c I tend to approach only those out of my league. but I figure we all work harder for what doesn't just fall into our lap.

I will say, typically, approaching an attractive female these days really has no purpose except to get a date--what other question is she going to know the answer to, that the guy standing next to me couldn't answer? Very few, unless she's in charge of whatever's going on, and its weird to say, "so, what line do I stand in? Oh, OK, thanks. Oh, hey, what are you doing after this?" Whether she's leading the band or playing with her cellphone, light conversation usually has but one purpose (and yes, I do tend to ask out the type of woman who darn well knows why I'm talking to her, she's that hot that she's aware of her effect and dresses appropriately).

Every woman wants something different, but most would prefer a fellow put a little thought into his proposal. If I'm going to work at being her type of romantic proposal, I would like to get a return on my investment :) then again, I'm unusual, its been over 12 years since the last time I got a yes....that's a lot of time going to the well and coming back dry. The best way to be a success is to...be a success. Makes it all easier when you know it's got good odds of working. But, also, there may be some people who are easier to ask out than others.

reminds me of the last time I was at an A&W, the mom before me had her hands full of toddler to carry her tray, so I did it for her. the young fellow behind me commmented he always wanted to do that. It took me a second to figure out why, so I commented on that--"well, every now and then, you're going to get someone who's had a bad day and makes some snarky 'I coulda handled it myself!' retort and you'll shy away from it for a while. but don't worry, you'll find yourself getting back into it."

some fellows likely had the experience of the cranky person--I know I twice had girls who flipped out when I dared ask out someone like them--and I wouldn't blame a fellow for being gun-shy for a few months after that. If a woman's body language clearly says, "don't bother me", yeah, its dumb to bother her. but the last nice woman I asked out responded with, "Oh thanks, but I have a bf who just bought me a house."

Ok, that's, like.....weird. I don't even remember if I had an answer or just stood there with my mouth open :)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 33
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 11:34:11 AM

gtomustang
practically all my relationships came from the woman approaching me. Every time I approach a woman, she says no, b/c I tend to approach only those out of my league. but I figure we all work harder for what doesn't just fall into our lap.


I can definitely identify with that remark. “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp.”



its been over 12 years since the last time I got a yes....that's a lot of time going to the well and coming back dry.


Dude, just how far out of your league are you shooting, anyway?

I tend to mostly try for women who are out of my league, but if I didn’t get a response rate of at least 1%, I would have long since given up and just settled for a lifetime subscription to “PornStar of the Week” or whatever. (smile)



some fellows likely had the experience of the cranky person--I know I twice had girls who flipped out when I dared ask out someone like them--and I wouldn't blame a fellow for being gun-shy for a few months after that.

To the women in our audience, please forgive me, I am about to use a sports analogy. Jameis Winston, the quarterback of the Florida State Seminole college football team, is famous (or infamous) for throwing a lot of interceptions. But the analysts all say that his number one trait, his biggest advantage, is his ability to “forget his mistakes”. After throwing an interception, he does not dwell on his mistake, on the negative outcome of the last play. Instead, he remains positive, fired up, ready for the next play, the next success.

I’m not saying this is easy, indeed it is very difficult. But the one who can do this, whether in football or the dating game, is going to have the most success.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 34
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 12:31:38 PM
What is the big deal? If a man is too scared to approach a woman, then don’t.

How about Approach Anxiety for women? Imagine you’re minding your own business, eating lunch and reading, or walking from one place to another, with your own life schedule on your mind, when you notice a man, a total stranger, eyeballing you and approaching you!! Talk about anxiety! So now you’re scrambling your brain trying to think of ways to divert his approach without setting off his crazy meter, and what you can say to just make him GO AWAY.

Can men appreciate that? At least men have the CHOICE whether to risk crushing anxiety by approaching a woman; WE do NOT have the choice once we’ve been targeted. So boo hoo….not feeling it for the male ego.

Msg. 26:
It's a part of a man's genetics to fear approaching attractive women.


Are you a biologist or a geneticist or a Darwinist or…? Because that sounds like horsesh!t to me.


It's not in their head, it's programmed into them the same way being attracted to symmetrical faces and a specific wasit to hip ratio is instinctual.


What is this specific waist to hip ratio? I mean if it’s programmed into “them,” it should be mathematically proven? And it’s always been this ratio, over millions of years? Why do you say “them” like you’re not a part of it, like you’re just observing from above?

Do you really compare yourself to animals with instincts to live and survive, as if you are incapable of independent thought? That’s kinda scary, to imagine you’re nothing more than a robot, on the other hand, it sort of releases those of that mindset from any kind of personal responsibility, eh? “My genetics made me do it!”

Msg. 32:
Then accord to your social Darwinist theories, these men are genetically inferior and, by automatically following their base instincts, they're proving they simply aren't fit to breed in the deep end of the pool which would include those highly desirable symmetrical faces and specific waist-to-hip ratios.


Ha ha, I so agree….and I noticed he didn’t include himself with the genetic loser pool. I guess his instincts are somehow more evolved…? I am so adverse to arguments basically relieving people of their personal responsibility in life by crying they just can’t help it, it’s the way they’re made…oh and science proves it, so there. It just makes me sick. Blech.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 35
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 1:08:17 PM

Are you a biologist or a geneticist or a Darwinist or…? Because that sounds like horsesh!t to me.


It doesn't matter who is preseting the facts, what matters is the truth. Why wouldn't men be conditioned to fear approaching attractive women when avoiding that behaviour helps them survive? When humans lived in tribes, a man that approached the wrong woman wasn't given an apple by the alpha male, he was killed or shunned by the group. We are literally programmed to avoid danger and situations that cause us harm.


What is this specific waist to hip ratio? I mean if it’s programmed into “them,” it should be mathematically proven? And it’s always been this ratio, over millions of years? Why do you say “them” like you’re not a part of it, like you’re just observing from above?

Do you really compare yourself to animals with instincts to live and survive, as if you are incapable of independent thought? That’s kinda scary, to imagine you’re nothing more than a robot, on the other hand, it sort of releases those of that mindset from any kind of personal responsibility, eh? “My genetics made me do it!”


Many studies have been done that prove men prefer an hourglass figure to a woman with no curves or an obese woman. Women with a 0.7 WHR are usually rated as more attractive by men from Indo-European cultures. We are animals. I'm not comparing humans to other animals, I'm talking about human instincts. It doesn't release you from any sort of responsibility, it's just what it is. We're programmed to survive and reproduce. You don't wake up in the morning and decide: "Okay, today I'm going to feel attraction when I see someone around my age with a nice body and cute face walking down the street."


Then accord to your social Darwinist theories, these men are genetically inferior and, by automatically following their base instincts, they're proving they simply aren't fit to breed in the deep end of the pool which would include those highly desirable symmetrical faces and specific waist-to-hip ratios.


Genetically inferior to what? All men experience approach anxiety. Sorry, but that doesn't make sense.


Ha ha, I so agree….and I noticed he didn’t include himself with the genetic loser pool. I guess his instincts are somehow more evolved…? I am so adverse to arguments basically relieving people of their personal responsibility in life by crying they just can’t help it, it’s the way they’re made…oh and science proves it, so there. It just makes me sick. Blech.


I think you completely misunderstood what I said. All men experience approach anxiety because it's an instinct.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 36
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 1:12:05 PM

Approach Anxiety Appreciation.


Can we get a National day for this?

Somewhere between National Free Donut Day and National Free Comic Book Day?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 1:42:22 PM
O'henry--yeah, I do tend to ask out a woman who'll amaze me (i'll wait until someone jumps down my throat before I take up space explaining what that means), and yeah, she's got to have a lot to offer (which is usually why she's already taken--she ain't average in brains or personality).

But I'm used to being alone, so I'm looking for someone who can be better company to me, than I could be to me. I aim so high, few people actually tease me for tilting at that windmill, but are surprised I had the guts to try. Or to put it another way, I don't follow the advice I would give to most people, which is, aim for someone more realistic :)

I don't NEED to date, I just want to date. If I was looking to marry and/or have kids, I would follow my advice. Since I'm doing neither, you have the right to wonder, "geez, who the hell are you asking out?" :)lol

sunshine--yep, I've known women who get hit on often enough to not look forward to it, so when they try to give men advice about calming down, I recognize where they're coming from. Most women tell me, "thanks, but I'm taken", so I guess I'm not being too much of a burden. Or i'm attracted to a certain type, who takes it all in stride.

Saying that, its a tad difficult asking someone I have to see every day, b/c....I have to see them every day. i'm not impulsive,so I consider the "what if's" and only ask those who seem interested and....well, you get the idea. Lots of thought, so being cavalier about a brush-off isn't as easy as, say, working at a job where I see a lot of people in a good mood and may not have to see them again after being a buzz-kill.

Oh, and put me down on the Darwin list for wanting a girl with hips :) Upright shoeboxes with legs....eh. But its interesting that if a man or woman comes here and posts about a first date that went wrong b/c there wasn't a lot of thought put into it...boy, do the proverbial knives come out. We all have suggestions of how to plan it like the D-day landing. Or we can tell what kind of first date turns us off. so, it seems like its only easy when the two of you are fated to be destined together, and everything naturally falls into place.

otherwise...I think we'd like to at least have a first date that doesn't suck. which could still require the person asking to do a little recon first, and then put some thought into the date and...well, who wants to do that and get a no and act like its no biggie? it was a "biggie" enough that we put some effort into it, now its not?

(yes yes,I know, I'm a big boy, keep my feelings in, and its not your burden. Just sayin' some may not enjoy Christmas b/c they put effort into a gift not appreciated, and I might not write off asking someone out as a small matter b/c I put some effort into it).

fullmoonguy--thanks for the smile. that was funny :) maybe in the back of a comic, Charles Atlas can advertise to people "sick of being an AA scarecrow!"
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 38
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 2:08:33 PM

gtomustang wrote:

its been over 12 years since the last time I got a yes....that's a lot of time going to the well and coming back dry.


At least you have gotten a yes in your life.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 39
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 2:20:32 PM

How about Approach Anxiety for women? Imagine you’re minding your own business, eating lunch and reading, or walking from one place to another, with your own life schedule on your mind, when you notice a man, a total stranger, eyeballing you and approaching you!! Talk about anxiety! So now you’re scrambling your brain trying to think of ways to divert his approach without setting off his crazy meter, and what you can say to just make him GO AWAY.

Can men appreciate that?
Hahahahahaha!!!!! Omg that made me laugh. It can seriously be awkward as he11, especially at the grocery store, ugh.

But I'm used to being alone
And that could be part of the anxiety? When out of practice, anything will feel more anxiety provoking.

That's where some people recommend a 'practice date', in other words.. asking someone out that you aren't so totally crazy about. It's not that you aren't considering the possibility, you just aren't as excited as you would like to be. If things go bust? You've at least had some practice and have had an enjoyable time out. Plus, it's nice to be in the position to do the possible rejecting for a change.

It's kinda like a job interview.. most people get nervous, especially when they really want the job. So going on a bunch of interviews to gain skills and be in the drivers seat as far as what you want can be helpful :)
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 40
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 2:35:11 PM

SunshineGirl__ wrote:

How about Approach Anxiety for women? Imagine you’re minding your own business, eating lunch and reading, or walking from one place to another, with your own life schedule on your mind, when you notice a man, a total stranger, eyeballing you and approaching you!! Talk about anxiety! So now you’re scrambling your brain trying to think of ways to divert his approach without setting off his crazy meter, and what you can say to just make him GO AWAY.


I think you hit the nail on the head here. As I've witnessed, both first and second hand, I've never seen a woman who EVER wanted to be approached by any man. I always laugh at all the fools who try their luck, and usually get shot down big time.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 4:54:14 PM
Well, at the next Meeting of the Mens, I'll be sure to bring up a notion to not approach women when the crazy meter is running :)

The practice date notion is a good one. I tried it a few times. And, yeah, when I got shot down by someone still living with their mom, it was like, "whhaaaat?" Oh sure, she has every right to date who she wants, and she indeed ended up dating a guy living in his mom's basement so they had a lot more in common than I did with her, but still....it feels better being shot down by the person you expect to say no :) I had another one go well, in that she still calls to complain about her husband and stepchildren. Most said no, and admittedly, if I'm having a good time at a venue by myself, I do wonder if I wish to go do the work of the mating dance or just keep enjoying my time alone. tho apparently that may be an age thing, I've heard others complain about this before :)

there are times I'll see or meet someone, and as WiP posted, I'll just have to ask about my odds b/c jeez, I'm really gonna get ticked if I didn't try and it turned out I had a shot at getting to know someone and their life and sharing all that is good. that can be tempered with, "but if she says no, she works at my bank and I have to see her every day. does she seem like the type who can handle dealing with me after shooting me down?" (I had one who didn't, and boy did it get awkward--I finally just swapped banks).

While "those in the business" might label it anxiety, and for some men, it is, I think for me its just...I don't feel like working for a "no". there's the old saying for women about kissing a lot of frogs to find Prince Charming. I understand women who ask, "well, gee, how many frogs are we talkin' about here? Can you at least steer me to the bog that has Prince Charming the frog in it so I'm not wastin' any more time?"

but enough about me. I do know there's fellows out there with AA, some may have it with certain women and not others (typically b/c they're more interested in those "certain women" than the others, there's "more to lose"), and naturally there are the Smooth Operators. Are there women who are aware, are there women who don't care? (the closest I'll get tonight to a Dr.Suess rhyme)
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 42
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 5:14:16 PM
"As I've witnessed, both first and second hand, I've never seen a woman who EVER wanted to be approached by any man. I always laugh at all the fools who try their luck, and usually get shot down big time."

I would love to be approached by a man. Never happens. Send the fools my way! It would be wonderful to flirt and meet men like this, in stores, etc.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 43
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women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 5:23:59 PM

I think you hit the nail on the head here. As I've witnessed, both first and second hand, I've never seen a woman who EVER wanted to be approached by any man. I always laugh at all the fools who try their luck, and usually get shot down big time.


Women like to be approached by guys they're into. I think you're mistaking them for guys they hope to avoid.


I would love to be approached by a man. Never happens. Send the fools my way! It would be wonderful to flirt and meet men like this, in stores, etc.


I have a female friend that goes to Chapters every week and hopes to bump into people. It can be hard to meet people if you're not in school and not into the bar scene. Not that you'd want to meet a romantic partner at a bar anyway.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 44
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women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 5:30:29 PM
At least it's a positive if less fit males are unable to ask a woman out because of some anxiety. Not exactly husband or father material . Less chance of passing on those defective genes in them since some think it is built in. Too much breeding and we'd someday have a generation of unassertive men with no confidence. Imagine if police officers really were like Deputy Barney Fife. Yikes. Or our military was made up of a couple million Milhouses from the Simpsons.

The chance of my guy pushing justifications for his anxieties is zip. If a guy was whining about being anxious to ask a woman out he'd just say ' Just do it or shut up'. End of discussion.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 45
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 6:02:19 PM

When humans lived in tribes, a man that approached the wrong woman wasn't given an apple by the alpha male, he was killed or shunned by the group. We are literally programmed to avoid danger and situations that cause us harm.


And there are a type of male that always goes for the top female.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 46
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 6:05:17 PM

I would love to be approached by a man. Never happens. Send the fools my way! It would be wonderful to flirt and meet men like this, in stores, etc.

Ditto.
Except I'd probably faint from surprise.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 47
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 6:48:41 PM

I think you hit the nail on the head here. As I've witnessed, both first and second hand, I've never seen a woman who EVER wanted to be approached by any man. I always laugh at all the fools who try their luck, and usually get shot down big time.


Just because they don't want to be approached by Men like You, doesn't mean they don't want to be approached by the Right Man. Not that I would pay Attention to Relationship Advise from Someone Who has never been in one.


I have a female friend that goes to Chapters every week and hopes to bump into people. It can be hard to meet people if you're not in school and not into the bar scene. Not that you'd want to meet a romantic partner at a bar anyway.


Maybe it's an Age Difference, but I know quite a Few People that Met Their Long Time SO in a Bar.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 48
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 8:34:03 PM
I think anyone that makes an approach is prone to having some degree of anxiety.

I've had some average looking ladies totally misrepresent themselves physically, but you know what?

I admired their confidence and audacity.

I enjoy her company, listen to her life story and provide witty banter.

I am flattered that someone approached me. Period.

I insist on picking up the check.

We part ways civily, and I delete her contact info asap.

No matter what she looks like, I respect the fact that she reached out to me first.

Peace out.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 49
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2014 9:41:47 PM

Maybe it's an Age Difference, but I know quite a Few People that Met Their Long Time SO in a Bar.


I find that to be one of those cliche statements people say because it sounds right, I know quite a few people who are married or in a serious relationship because they met in a club, party or bar. Just because a girl goes there a few times doesn't mean she's a partier and **** you Google Chrome, partier is a word.


Just because they don't want to be approached by Men like You, doesn't mean they don't want to be approached by the Right Man. Not that I would pay Attention to Relationship Advise from Someone Who has never been in one.['quote]

I see a bit of a contradiction here, as a guy we have no idea of knowing what a woman is thinking. So we either take a chance or don't bother with it. It's not fair to say "well man up and approach her" and then turn around and say "Oh well, a lot of women don't like men randomly approaching them" well how the hell am I suppose to determine that?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50
women don't care about Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/11/2014 5:47:01 AM

I would love to be approached by a man. Never happens. Send the fools my way! It would be wonderful to flirt and meet men like this, in stores, etc.


Ditto.
Except I'd probably faint from surprise.

Don't approach as it's really odd in contrast to all the women who are checking phones, reading, looking at the floor. Just be sure to look up and smile at anything male. That's usually all it takes, at least where I'm from. Even if you don't look directly at someone but you're smiling he'll likely still approach you in case it might be about him.

I see a bit of a contradiction here, as a guy we have no idea of knowing what a woman is thinking. So we either take a chance or don't bother with it. It's not fair to say "well man up and approach her" and then turn around and say "Oh well, a lot of women don't like men randomly approaching them" well how the hell am I suppose to determine that?

If you're good at reading body language you can usually tell which ones to approach and which not to. Women will look inviting if interested in being approached - after a while you can see the signs. If you aren't good at it (yet) and you want to approach you have to have a lot less worry about what will come of it.

The only way to get good at it is either sit back and watch a lot of people interact in a social environment over a long period of time, or approach more women and pay attention to the outcome and the body language each one has.
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