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 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 76
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Oh wow. I didn't realize this post was two years old until I got to the end. Oh well. It isn't the "Approach" part of the situation, it is the arrogance / rudeness that causes me anxiety. Agreed, they are under no obligation to me simply because I approach, But the quantity of rude females outnumbers "real people" by far.

Never could understand females that find, what they call, confident men a great catch. Somehow they think this guy will stop his ways with them. Like they are something special to him. If a guy is really good at being "confident" then chances are he will continue this behavior with future women.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 77
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/9/2016 9:15:19 PM

Never could understand females that find, what they call, confident men a great catch. Somehow they think this guy will stop his ways with them. Like they are something special to him. If a guy is really good at being "confident" then chances are he will continue this behavior with future women.


No, they don't get that- at all. Then when they get cheated on, the head scratching starts, and then most set out to lay blame on men wanting only one thing.

Complain about it here, and get blamed for being weak and a whiner. There isn't much you can do about it, except put up with their snotty attitudes.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 78
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2016 7:08:16 AM
I can relate to this topic. I remember a year ago there was this Exotic Woman I seen at my local bar and I noticed that she glanced at me before. A week later I see the same Exotic Woman at the bar and I walk up to her and start talking to her. I get her name and she touches my face with her hands. I got nervous and walked off. In normal circumstances I would've got her phone number and more of a conversation but my anxiety kicked in. It happens to the best of us.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 79
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2016 5:20:20 PM

Actually, from my perspective, I do the same thing. When I was young, I had AA, but after being rejected so much, you get so used to it, that you just go with it, and I never even give it a thought anymore.
This is a really good point. Get out there and get rejected. You'll find that, in a sea of rejections, each particular rejection has less weight. Of course, you'll also need to learn from these rejections and tweak your approach accordingly. And *don't* approach out of your league if you're still trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, that's the only way to learn, and it will come easier to some than others. But you'll find with each success, even few and far between, you'll gain some confidence.

For someone trying to conquer AA, you also need to practice talking to everyone, everywhere....in public places....yes, that means the geeky woman cashier checking you out (not that way....well, maybe that way too...) at the cash register....or the scary biker type dude with no teeth, behind the auto parts counter. It will give you practice with casual banter when the stakes aren't so high.

What always helped for me, I feel, is when tryig to approach women...make sure you're smiling...nothing puts a woman off faster than someone who acts if they would rather be cleaning the inside of a sewer pipe with a toothbrush than trying to talk to her. It may take some practice though.

Another thing I would suggest to guys trying to meet women is to wear clothes or otherwise cultivate an appearance that gets some attention, something that makes it easy for a woman to comment about. Hairstyle, glasses, clothing etc. etc. Not outlandish though. No multi-winged "Flock of Seagulls" hairstyles, unless you're really into a fringe scene, lol....Wear a T-shirt that says something about who you are/or your interests. If you like music, wear concert T's....if you like gaming, wear gaming T's. Biking, Biker/HD stuff, etc. etc. Don't dress generic like you're trying to hide into the woodwork. I had some red Chuck Taylor Converse hi tops back in the day (New wave era) and those shoes got me laid more than once....lol, sorry....jus' sayin' it like it is...or was..:(....I guarantee if you walked into a pub tonight, wearing a New Kids on the Block T shirt, yes, someone would probably comment. Maybe someone giving you a hard time, but hey, that's a start. But you have to LIKE NKOTB, though, to carry a convo if someone wants to talk NKOTB. For me, concert/band T's generated some conversation...I still wear these out even now sometimes....and folks usually comment...depends on the crowd though...even though I'm an old fart now...men AND some women. And I usually comment likewise when I see someone wearing a rock T, especially if it's a band I like...whether the wearer is a man or woman. Of course there are bars/clubs where you can't wear this type of apparel though.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 80
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/10/2016 9:04:16 PM
Funny you bring this up--last night I caught Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and there was a blonde in front of me, oh my, a candidate for Perfect Ass of the Year Award. Helping matters was the jeans with white stitching. It was like those CAD/CAM wire frame pictures showing you the 3 dimensions of curve of the finished product. Even the cheap SOBs here would have opened their creaky wallets in hope of being able to put an arm around this wonderful bubble of womanness.

Approaching her would be hard (among other things hard) b/c you'd really, really not want to get rejected by her. Better perhaps to "practice" on ladies less goddess-like in shape. Hey, they deserve dates, too. and bopefully they have personality, so they can be fun like that friend of your's you don't mind being around b/c they're just so much fun. Sometimes we kill our chances b/c a date should be fun, and instead we think a date should end with us getting laid or its a waste of money and our time.

"Peac0cking" like SS454 said above, where you wear something that gives a woman interested in you a way to break the ice, works. There are times I wasn't even wearing something to do that, and an interested woman still came up and found something to talk about on me (pity I wasn't interested in them). The aggravating times are when a woman is picking on you for it and won't let it go...is she testing your cool? or is she bored and naturally vindictive? I guess the determining factor is does she watch you for your reaction, or does she cut you down and then look at her friends for validation. Usually I don't get these scenarios to work for me, but then i'm not Brad Pitt either.

I also think what helps is, don't be too uptight about sex. You don't want to be humping her leg, of course. But I think about guys I met who think women don't like sex, and wondered why they never met a flirty gal or a woman who has a healthy attitude about sex and is a sensual creature. Then I thought about the guy, and he was so uptight and unwilling to even crack much of a joke about sex, and I can see why a woman who is at least halfway interested in getting laid might stay away from him. Just to put a number on thing, I might suggest that 40% of a guy's conversation might be about GOOD jokes/puns about sex. Not the usual "that's what she said, huh huh" stuff.

but being stiff like Poindexter? What woman wants to have to make all the moves AND buy the condoms? Be a bit more fun and loose. Talking about sex should be like talking about money. No one likes when it gets personal. But general conversation is ok, and the confidence it takes to make a deprecating comment every now and then--when its actually funny, and thus appropriate and not forced for sympathy--can look good.

still, you can be a great guy, life of the party, cool as hell...and hot woman will still look at you as a great friend to have. And being logical doesn't come off as sexy, either :) When a lass complains about the drama in her life and you point out what she did to cause it...i'm sure someone got laid that way, but it sure as hell wasn't me ;)
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 81
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/12/2016 6:19:47 PM
gtomustang- Some women don't get it, others do. This one does.
I'm very aware it's nerve racking to get turned down.
I've been the one to make the first move and got shot down, more than once, it doesn't feel good.
If I'm not interested in a man, I try to turn him down gently and kindly.
However, not all men take it well, no matter how kind you are.
Sometimes women become jaded by bad reactions and they start getting nasty with every man who approaches them.
It happens to men too.
That's sad to me.
I can only control myself, so I'm not going to let myself be that affected by getting turned down.
Just some thoughts for you to consider. :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 82
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/12/2016 6:40:17 PM
CONFIDENCE: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
"he's brimming with confidence"
synonyms: self-assurance, self-confidence, self-possession, assertiveness;

How the hell does this ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ become this?


..............confident men a great catch. Somehow they think this guy will stop his ways with them. Like they are something special to him. If a guy is really good at being "confident" then chances are he will continue this behavior with future women.


I would never connect confidence with a negative, such as being a player or cheater, as the above suggests.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 83
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/12/2016 8:01:43 PM

Ladyinred0407
I would never connect confidence with a negative, such as being a player or cheater, as the above suggests.

Interesting point. I agree, I don’t ordinarily equate “confident man” with “player”. I can see how some would. There are people who read the materials put out by PUA’s and get this idea lodged in their pointy little heads.

But in reality, it is nothing like that. People like David DeAngelo are trying to teach men how to overcome “approach anxiety”. Indeed, that is the single biggest issue that he talks about, over and over and over.

I actually see this as a service, helping both men and women.


gtomustang
still, you can be a great guy, life of the party, cool as hell...and hot woman will still look at you as a great friend to have. And being logical doesn't come off as sexy, either :) When a lass complains about the drama in her life and you point out what she did to cause it...i'm sure someone got laid that way, but it sure as hell wasn't me ;)

I seriously doubt that was anyone. With the possible exception of Brad Pitt or his look-alike.



Approaching her would be hard (among other things hard) b/c you'd really, really not want to get rejected by her.

That’s the thing, isn’t it? The more beautiful the woman, the hotter she is, the more you want her, and the more you fear being rejected. So the harder it is to approach her, to make that move.

The woman I’m dating right now, I have known for more than 20 years. Most of that time we were married (to other people). I was divorced 7 years ago, her 2 years ago. I waited 2 years after her divorce before I asked her out. When I finally did, she asked, “What took you so long?”

She knows me, she knows I have done a lot of dating in the last 7 years, and that I am not slow to make a move. My response to her was, “Some rejection hurts more than others.”
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 84
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/13/2016 6:08:09 AM
People who don't understand what confidence really is, mistake c0ckiness for it. A braggart seems confident to a wallflower who doesn't really know what its like to be confident. That why PUA tricks work so well on an insecure woman.

Congrats, Henry, hope it all works out. I looked up an old interest but she isn't, so i'm thinking about letting it go.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/13/2016 10:13:33 AM

gtomustang
Congrats, Henry, hope it all works out. I looked up an old interest but she isn't, so i'm thinking about letting it go.

Sorry to hear she isn’t interested. If you’re “thinking about letting it go”, that sounds like she did not slam the door? If not, give it a little time, put a little effort into it. You obviously thought enough of her to look her up, so what do you have to lose other than a little of your time?

My situation is a little different. The woman is still wanting to “live it up” after 25 years of marriage. She is dating several men, and looking for good times and adventures. Which I can definitely understand. But I have been out with her 3 times, we have a very good time, and I am willing to give her all of the time she wants. Good things are worth waiting for.

My problem is that I have to keep seeing other women, for multiple reasons. Number one, I don’t get that much of her time. And number two (and very important), if I’m going to be cool with this for an extended period of time, then I have to have other things going on.

The problem with “having other things going on” is that she makes other women pale by comparison. But I’m working on it!
 RuralRoadz
Joined: 7/12/2016
Msg: 86
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/13/2016 1:11:41 PM
I have no problem believing that there are women who have no idea, no inkling of how a man might feel as he approaches a woman. If a woman has been approached by a steady number of men who aren't anxious, or at least don't show it, and has never had occasion to approach men herself, how would she know?

Back when I was a single, twenty-something guy, I lived in a small town in which the unattached men(at least in my age-range) outnumbered the unattached women by a fair amount. I had a good looking female co-worker who attracted quite a few men. She not only believed that approaching her was easy for men, but she absolutely could notbelieve that I didn't have as many opportunities to meet women as she had to meet men. To me, it seemed that we inhabited different worlds, socially.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 87
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/13/2016 3:04:51 PM

Back when I was a single, twenty-something guy, I lived in a small town in which the unattached men(at least in my age-range) outnumbered the unattached women by a fair amount. I had a good looking female co-worker who attracted quite a few men. She not only believed that approaching her was easy for men, but she absolutely could notbelieve that I didn't have as many opportunities to meet women as she had to meet men. To me, it seemed that we inhabited different worlds, socially.


It's probably because she can't imagine being anyone but herself. Approach anxiety isn't just something that nerdy men experience when approaching a beautiful women, men in general feel it because we evolved to feel it. Since everyone comes from a lineage of survivors, the ones that didn't approach and mess with the alpha male's woman or women didn't get killed and survived to pass down their genes. It's something hard wired into most men, but you can definitely override it with social conditioning. She probably thinks it's easy for men because she gets approached more than other women by men that drink alcohol and make it a habit to approach lots of women in the hopes of taking one home. It doesn't make it easier for the average dude. That's like thinking everyone must be a great salesman and not shy to talk to strangers because a few guys at the mall asked me to buy their product.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 88
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 8:23:21 AM
You're right, Henry, she hasn't put the brakes on anything. She's bought another house to eventually move into when she's ready, shut down her FB account we usually made plans thru, and is spending the holidays at Disney. I could "ghost" and see how interested she is, b/c i'm sure i'm a backup plan. And she's not, well, like the lady you described. She's a cop's booty call, the relationship is a bit one directional, it doesn't cost me anything I can't afford but I wonder if sometimes I do it to have an opportunity to go to dinner with a pretty face across the table but sometimes boring conversation. So I have some weeks to consider it, not like I have other options. And I have a more pressing issue, its that time of year when the field mice come into the downstairs :)

I hear what you mean about keeping busy with other dates. Once I dated two people at once, and it kept me from pressuring either one, b/c neither had a lot of time for me. So long as everyone is aware (they were), its a best of a "Bad" situation.

I can understand why attractive people don't see the anxiety. My best friend is an attractive female who slept with a lot of men. She knew on a subconscious level, she could get the man she wanted, but most started flirting with her. She wasn't really after looks so much as she was after the guy she couldn't get to fall for her--usually the player who was already making moves on her. And they were usually the attractive ones, the unattractive players would just help her do her job and not escape the friend zone.

Also, perhaps, women generally are more social creatures, so talking, bonding, and winning over new converts may feel more natural than to us hunter cavemen used to just impressing. Coma brings up a good point about alpha males spreading their genes. My Barbie doll lifestyle friend I mentioned above, she wasn't approached by insecure men as much as c0cky ones, so the problems of the former weren't on her radar, since she had enough of the latter to pick up the slack. Those were the guys who didn't worry about throwing some money around or sex in a bar bathroom. They were "Fun" and "thrilling". And now she's older and happy to be alone with her animals :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 89
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 9:03:07 AM
In the shower I realized there's an addendum. A young lady who is a 9 or a 10 on the looks scale but is unapproachable, likely doesn't get approached much, besides by guys who don't pay attention to her body language. Meanwhile, she sees hot guys, and does what comes naturally--pays attention to the guy who makes her heart race, body tingle, ie, feel good. He likely picks up on her interest, and being a handsome man, does what's worked on other women--respond in kind. After youthful years of doing things this way, she either gets married or goes into older singlehood conducting herself the same way--why not?

An attractive woman who is friendly and outgoing (why not, how many toxic people willing to risk their chance at her does she meet in life to wear her down?) may get hit on more. She's attractive, she shows attention, a guy is more willing to find out if he has a chance. She gets approached more, so she thinks its "normal" for guys to do that. And how hard is it for her to approach a hot guy? she shows interest, and he reciprocates. What can be so difficult about that? What we learn over and over again as children, tends to stick with us until it stops working and we have to think hard about why.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 90
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 9:12:59 AM

gtomustang
it doesn't cost me anything I can't afford but I wonder if sometimes I do it to have an opportunity to go to dinner with a pretty face across the table but sometimes boring conversation. So I have some weeks to consider it, not like I have other options.

I hear you. Sometimes I think my picky nature is a bit of a curse. I have met literally dozens of women, some through OLD, some through Meetup, who would really like to date me. And no, that is not just my ego talking. But I would rather spend my time and money chasing after the beautiful woman who is unobtainable, or almost so.

If I’m not excited just by being in her presence, looking at her pretty face, hoping against hope for more … Well, better just to stay home and read a book or work on a computer problem.

Which is where “options” come into play. I was talking about that in a different thread, Meetup gives me those options.



I hear what you mean about keeping busy with other dates. Once I dated two people at once, and it kept me from pressuring either one, b/c neither had a lot of time for me. So long as everyone is aware (they were), its a best of a "Bad" situation.


Yes, exactly. I am very interested in this one woman. Very. But if I come across as needy, or clingy, or putting any kind of pressure on her, then I am toast. Burnt toast. So … options. Options are a good thing.

In a perfect world, when you became romantically interested in another person, you would be able to act out those feelings. Do little things to show her that you are thinking of her, that she is on your mind, that she is your priority. In the real world, you have to restrain yourself, play games, bide your time. Look for other things to distract yourself.



My Barbie doll lifestyle friend I mentioned above, she wasn't approached by insecure men as much as c0cky ones, so the problems of the former weren't on her radar, since she had enough of the latter to pick up the slack. Those were the guys who didn't worry about throwing some money around or sex in a bar bathroom. They were "Fun" and "thrilling". And now she's older and happy to be alone with her animals :)

Hang in there, my friend, and keep a positive outlook. Perhaps you can one day become one of her “animals”!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 91
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 9:38:37 AM
The lass i'm mulling over, I met her in high school and she's built like the proverbial shipyard but was dumb as a load of bricks. Biggest airhead ever, and she chased after me but I figured i'd meet plenty of women in college who were a better fit. Learned the contrary ever since, so I looked her up, she's less airheaded but kept her 18 yr old figure. So, part of my interest is in "correcting mistake of the past" when she came over to my house while my parents were gone and talking about how she never uses condoms with guys simply b/c she doesn't like them. She could have seduced me if she hadn't said that, it was the time AIDS was mentioned everywhere.

now that i'm older and have a decent life for myself, I think i'm like most people...why screw up what I have? Only for someone who's really going to add to it. And she's told me she has a habit of bedding "mistakes", so I can either hope she gets smarter or desperate :) If she cost more than $20 during any time out, it might be an easier choice to make, but the whole thing is a bit of "Falls into my lap" deal.

indeed, some of the men's problem with approach is, we don't really bother to approach the woman who we're only so-so about. Unless we haven't gotten laid in a while and this particular woman is aching for our bacon, we might look at a person and wonder, "What else could we be doing with the time we spend with this person?" We're older, have our own place and our own toys. When we were kids, we wanted any excuse to get out of the house. Now we want someone who makes us want to get away from the home we have built for ourselves and our pleasures and passions and interests. That person has value, and so we worry more about her saying no.

isn't it crazy, that someone ignites all this energy inside us, all this desire...and we have to keep it tamped down?

as for my Barbie doll friend, she's a best friend for the last 2 decades. She isn't the woman who i'm thinking about letting go. She's a different one, caught 2 STDs from the last jerk she was with, and she's the older sister I never had. in the beginning, I definitely had the hots for her, she knew it, but she wanted a friend and we've gotten past my horniness. So, for those who think such a situation can only go bad....there are exceptions to every rule :) But she has taught me a lot about women.

I usually say, my problem isn't that I don't understand women, its that I do :) Some offer a lot of drama in return for getting laid. Others have a personality that just is so wonderful, you want it in your life as well. And around here, those are the ones married--b/c who's going to let that happiness pass them by? Even if some schmuck does, she has 50 guys in her life attracted to her positivity, intelligence, laughter, etc like moths to the flame. She's too good to use for sex.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 92
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 9:58:20 AM
You two are wasting your life away...pining for women out of your reach, in the sense that, they are not into you.
Never....let someone tell you more than once, they don't want you!!
I have met men that want to hang on to me as a friend...if you can be my "friend" without an ulterior motive...great!
Not very likely....a woman will change her mind...imo. Mind you, I have seen a few keep back ups for meals etc...

I have male friends I hang out with but never encourage or let them assume...there will be anything romantic between us.
I pay my own way and never flirt to give them false hope.
That's called ...leading you on.

I have met a few guys that didn't want me.....it happens. I don't want to hang out with them.
I don't try to hang on to a glimmer of hope they will change their mind...they had their chance.
If they change their mind after years about me....they would truly have to do some fantastic talking and actions.
Be more open to other opportunities...is all I am saying.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 93
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 11:09:04 AM
Coma White is correct it's a natural wild instinct for us to be cautious, to hesitate. Such instincts aid survival for various situations. And yes, one shouldn't apply behavior by drunk/buzzed people to how they'd behave sober, as the sober dude is more likely to act on sane instincts than his "liquid courage" counterpart.

My favorite girls tend to follow the pattern of letting me initiate things first, then if I pause/hesitate, they make things easier by meeting me halfway. Wouldn't call my caution "anxiety", but it's natural to be evasive. I've seem posts in the forums claiming any form of hesitation by the man is bad, that makes him a loser, that she's automatically going to reject him, etc. But I've met some fine girls over the years who actually contribute, who don't mindlessly wait for the man to do everything. Most (all?) of my girls are animal lovers, so perhaps my body language and facial expressions have similarities to nonhuman creatures they've encountered. Dogs often run toward a stranger, then stop before they're within reach to ponder whether to get any closer.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 94
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women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/14/2016 12:45:47 PM

Whisky_River
You two are wasting your life away...pining for women out of your reach

One of my very favorite quotes:

Robert Browning
Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?



Whisky_River
Never....let someone tell you more than once, they don't want you!!


Now here I agree with you 100%. But I have not been told, “I don’t want you”. In my case, the lady is having a good time, dating several men, and is not interested at all in settling down. So my choice is to be one of many, or to be on the outside looking in. I choose the former. And we are having some good times together, so … Sometimes patience IS the greatest virtue. And, another proverb for you, good things are worth waiting for.


gtomustang
Now we want someone who makes us want to get away from the home we have built for ourselves and our pleasures and passions and interests. That person has value, and so we worry more about her saying no.

isn't it crazy, that someone ignites all this energy inside us, all this desire...and we have to keep it tamped down?


Now that is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. When I am excited by a woman, about a woman, my natural reaction is to tell her and show her, “You matter. You are my priority. You are important to me.”
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 95
To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 1:31:00 PM
whiskey river, I totally get what you posted. And its why i'm not rushing to take the lady (let's call her L) out before she goes away to Christmas vacation. Not that i'm wasting any of my time, only b/c there's no one else for me to chase. Well, if I follow Henry's advice and meet someone at a meetup, then L's probably not going to hear from me often :) I don't look at L as romance potential (it'd be nice if she busted a move and I would respond if she did, but I don't delude myself), more as someone to dinnerdate.

On principle, I usually don't buy dinner for friends all the time...except when they are dead broke, and they don't disrespect me by ordering lobster :) I figure for my $15, i'm getting conversation and pretty looking company. Not the worst deal in the world. But it does make me wonder (when I have too much time on my hands), is it foolish to worry about spending $15 (which after a while, yes, it does add up) out of principle? Some will argue yes, others no, and each argument will have merit. And of course, maybe she's willing to let me go, but can't pass up free dinner? why not give her a chance to ghost me?

as for the Robert Browning quote, it reminds me of a conversation in St John the Divine in NYC (if you haven't been, go take the tour, I used to do a tiny bit with the security there, its a big place and the church was just going to let it fall in on itself) about avoiding temptation in life. My thought was, temptation IS life. without fun, we merely exist. If we never wished for more, we'd be happy in caves with fire and furs. Obviously, of course some temptation is destructive, but ya know what I mean.

"never let someone tell you they aren't interested"

I agree. And a lot of people don't tell you, they show you. I don't expect to be a big factor in L's life, and I wouldn't want the burden of keeping up with her spending and failing to pay the bills and so on. you know the old saying a woman needs four animals in her life, a jag in the garage, a mink on her back, I can't remember the third (lion in bed?) but the fourth animal is a jackass to pay for it all? Its good to be respected. Were I a good looking man, I could demand more from partners. But, not to sound deprecating, but beggars can't be choosers, either. I'm offered a glass half full, or I could reject it and say, "no one wants me." There are plenty of ladies here and elsewhere who ask, "why can't a guy just accept being friends and not make it all about getting laid?" So I guess i'm trying that out as practice to see how it works.

If L had more of her personality together, i'd be in bigger trouble--God help me I come across one of those women :) They never say yes. I guess my situation is a question of, "is wasting spare time, really a waste of time?" Not to sound like an 80 yr old man, but having a pretty face across the table is nice, and since its typically a Sunday when her daughter is to come home from her father's, there's a time restraint so we don't really run out of things to say (but doggone it, she's one of those quiet talkers. The hubbub in a restaurant can drown her out, so I have to guess what she's talking about sometimes. Which is better brain exercise than Sudoku puzzles, I guess :) ).

Spending an hour or two on a Sunday night with a human being in a pleasant restaurant? could be worse. could be better :) Its better than being alone, its not as good as getting laid. it just sits in the middle.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 96
To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 2:37:52 PM
Wishing and hoping only works for song lyrics.
But go ahead and shoot for the moon because in space no one can hear you scream :/
John Cleese quote "'It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."
Since we are quoting
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 97
To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 2:46:58 PM
Long ago gave up the hopes and wishes.

And just the other day, I shot my toe.

And no, it wasn't the moon I was aiming at.........
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 98
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To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 4:30:09 PM

Ouija2025
Wishing and hoping only works for song lyrics.
But go ahead and shoot for the moon because in space no one can hear you scream :/
John Cleese quote "'It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."
Since we are quoting


A good quote, I’ll give you that. But depressing, whereas mine was uplifting. So there! (smile)


gtomustang
there's a time restraint so we don't really run out of things to say (but doggone it, she's one of those quiet talkers. The hubbub in a restaurant can drown her out, so I have to guess what she's talking about sometimes.


I like soft spoken women. The woman I’m crazy about is rather soft spoken. One of the good things about dropping $100 on the meal, another $100 on the wine, and then the tip, is that the restaurant is usually very quiet. With plenty of room between the tables. And waiters who don’t interrupt you constantly.



Spending an hour or two on a Sunday night with a human being in a pleasant restaurant? could be worse. could be better :) Its better than being alone, its not as good as getting laid. it just sits in the middle.

What I usually say is that it beats the hell out of sitting home watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island, by yourself.

But one thing I hate is when your date feels compelled to tell you, early in the evening, “I’m not going home with you tonight.” For crying out loud, I showered and shaved and shampooed, drove across town to pick you up, I’m wining and dining you, and you can’t even leave a little mystery, a little hope for a happy ending?

That’s interesting, I just worked my way back around to Ouija’s quote, which I had no intention of doing when I started writing this post.

“I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand.” Me, I want that hope, that dream of awe and grandeur. Yes, for all of the slow witted ones out there, I’m talking about sex. So shoot me.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 99
To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 5:14:59 PM
Maybe you wanna start a blog Henry. No my Quote was uplifting... sorry you missed that
Actually you prove the quote.
Oh, did you make an error? Did she say " I'm not going to the Palace Inn tonight?" ( smile)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 100
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History
To paraphrase Madonna, living in a grey area world, b/c i'm a grey area girl
Posted: 12/14/2016 6:51:16 PM

No my quote was uplifiting… sorry you missed that.


I haven’t seen the movie, so it’s quite possible that I didn’t understand the quote. On the face of it, it doesn’t look or sound uplifting, but it might come across quite differently if I saw the movie.



Oh, did you make an error? Did she say " I'm not going to the Palace Inn tonight?" ( smile)

No, I own my own home, outright. No need for a motel room, hourly or otherwise, unless of course I’m traveling.
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