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 ginghamgal
Joined: 1/14/2015
Msg: 701
The Coffee DatePage 29 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

I don't like time limits in either direction


Same here. Like another poster said, I have been in relationships that started off slow and awkward. If I had ended a first date after 10-20 minutes, these relationships wouldn't have happened. To answer the question, if someone doesn't like the coffee date, suggest a different venue or activity.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 702
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:13:50 AM
I say if you can't sit down for 1-2 hours and have a coffee with a female you are lazy and socially backward.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 703
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:17:28 AM
It's always those Clark Kent, fumbling, nervous, spontaneous moments that can't possibly be scripted that creates the sparks, for me anyway.

She laughs at me.

I'm sure if Christie Brinkley asked me to get her a napkin, I'd be stuttering and tripping to get the damn thing :)
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 704
The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:27:20 AM

What's even more silly is agreeing to meet someone if there's a fear for your safety. How desperate are you to have a male body close to you if you feel there's a risk of harm? That would be like an American wanting to go on vacation to Syria or Afghanistan, then complaining that the wars in those countries might put them in risk.


My love and I spoke about a month, on the phone, before we met for coffee. We were both the same in person and on the phone. (He looked better, in person, and he was more than impressed with what he saw. And there was no skype check , beforehand. I didn't expect he'd be the one -- but he quite probably is him. After all, he is my boyfriend.

We discussed exclusivity in a matter of minutes after some time, because it's him with whom I want to share this epoch of my life. I hope it's for a lifetime.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 705
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:33:09 AM

It's always those Clark Kent, fumbling, nervous, spontaneous moments that can't possibly be scripted that creates the sparks, for me anyway.
And ironically it's the fumbling stuff people often try to hide/cover up, go figure, lol.

I've always liked guys who are a bit shy/uncertain.. it shows a bit of genuineness. The overly scripted smooth operators aren't my cuppa chai.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 706
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The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 8:32:10 AM
@eternity....Congrats!! Sounds like a keeper!!!


I've always liked guys who are a bit shy/uncertain.. it shows a bit of genuineness. The overly scripted smooth operators aren't my cuppa chai.


I HEAR ya!!! I kind of like the 'goofy' types myself...and am that way, too...those so-called "smooth operators" are usually a LOT less subtle than they think, and kinda make my skin crawl tbh....
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 707
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 9:56:24 AM

I'm sure if Christie Brinkley asked me to get her a napkin, I'd be stuttering and tripping to get the damn thing :)


She turns 61 on February 2, and you'll be too young to contact her. Better hurry and ask her out while she's still 60.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 708
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The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 10:05:56 AM

I'm sure if Christie Brinkley asked me to get her a napkin, I'd be stuttering and tripping to get the damn thing :)


I'd prefer Beverly Johnson myself and I promise I won't spike her espresso...I know it's tasteless.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 709
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 12:57:04 PM

I've always liked guys who are a bit shy/uncertain.. it shows a bit of genuineness. The overly scripted smooth operators aren't my cuppa chai.

Same here.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 710
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The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 1:13:23 PM
If the goofy genuine guy was so popular, I would have gotten laid or at least had alot more interest than I had. Me thinks it only matters if the guy is cute.


Oh yes, I went there!
The gauntlet is DOWN!

 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 711
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History
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 1:15:13 PM
^^^^^

Give it ten or fifteen years. Your time will come.

I just got married to the goofy, genuine guy. He's not so goofy anymore, but he IS still genuine, and he's left all the high school popular guys in the dust.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 712
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 1:30:18 PM
Congratulations and best wishes to you and your husband, LiliMarleen!

Your wedding outfit is DARLING.

PS: I really enjoy your forum posts.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 713
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 2:53:05 PM
forumfella

Oh please not the walking along the beach cliche!! Cuddling as an interest? I would lose that one. But you didnt ask for a review so ignore it or not. Most blondes are brunettes underneath, does that count?
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 714
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 3:00:02 PM
Uncle Zeus is a prick and a bore. But that is a female point of view. He was on another forum but that went bust, I think. He used to irritate the bejesus out of many female posters there I can tell you. lol!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 715
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 3:55:31 PM
Congratulations LiliMarleen! Good for you! I wish you a lifetime of happiness!

If the goofy genuine guy was so popular, I would have gotten laid or at least had alot more interest than I had. Me thinks it only matters if the guy is cute.

Of course that matters. Not sure why anyone thinks that's a groundbreaking discovery. The definition of cute will vary with each woman but OF COURSE she's going to expect to have some attraction to the guy. Just assume attraction is a given in conversations like this.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 716
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:27:53 PM
"Not sure why anyone thinks that's a groundbreaking discovery.....Just assume attraction is a given in conversations like this."

>>>we men would love to, but every time a guy is honest about the value of looks, he gets told its not important by the ladies. I won't mention names. But I can understand a fellow's fustration when a woman tells him its not about looks, except its about looks (er, what?).

Ironically, the people who downplay appearance, aren't giving its impact enough credit. And the people who make a big deal about appearance, are giving its impact too much credit. The truth lies in the middle--people aren't ONLY going for looks and nothing else, they're going for the best looking person who shares their personality.

speaking generally, men are easy to understand--we'll have sex with almost anyone hot, but we'll only have a relationship with someone we connect with. Unfortunately, its the reason why women will write in saying, "we slept together, why isn't it progressing beyond that?"

just sign me, Captain Obvious :)
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 717
The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:37:25 PM
Thanks for the tip Petula, always good too get female input. ;)
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 718
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The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/23/2015 7:50:08 PM
Eternityboresme


I want to share this epoch of my life. I hope it's for a lifetime.


or an ETERNITY! Best wishes!!!
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 719
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The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/23/2015 8:45:19 PM
Aawww the feels hit me in the heart!

Congrats!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 720
The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/24/2015 10:21:34 AM

we men would love to, but every time a guy is honest about the value of looks, he gets told its not important by the ladies. I won't mention names. But I can understand a fellow's fustration when a woman tells him its not about looks, except its about looks (er, what?).

Yes - exactly. It's not ALL about looks. Perhaps they either say that and you don't hear the "ALL" or they drop the "ALL" assuming you must know what they mean. The truth is attraction (not looks - looks are tangible and not all women will find the same man handsome) matters up front but can't be the only thing you have going for you in the long run if a woman is going to stick around.

Ironically, the people who downplay appearance, aren't giving its impact enough credit. And the people who make a big deal about appearance, are giving its impact too much credit. The truth lies in the middle--people aren't ONLY going for looks and nothing else, they're going for the best looking person who shares their personality.

Most are looking for someone they are attracted to and can get along with.

speaking generally, men are easy to understand--we'll have sex with almost anyone hot, but we'll only have a relationship with someone we connect with. Unfortunately, its the reason why women will write in saying, "we slept together, why isn't it progressing beyond that?"

just sign me, Captain Obvious :)

Most women are the same. We have to like what we see to some degree if we're ever going to care to learn anything else.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 721
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The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/24/2015 11:41:49 AM
Of course it's about attraction, and attraction is about whatever is important to the individual, all this whining and ranting about what women want, what they lie about, what they do, is just so much blah blah blah about the person whining. All one has to do is look at other people to know that any kind of look or size or shape or age or weight or height can and do find dates, get married, have kids, etc. The whining and blaming a whole gender is all about being defensive over not getting what the whiner wanted, so blame and cry and foam at the mouth and sure enough, there will be some people who feel responsible and the whiner gets some attention. It's totally self-destructive, and it needs to be, because the last thing a person who gets their attention from whining wants, is for something good to happen. Needing negative attention is the goal, they don't want an answer, they want to be able to call the other gender nasty names and spit.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 722
The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/24/2015 2:21:31 PM

My love and I spoke about a month, on the phone, before we met for coffee. We were both the same in person and on the phone. (He looked better,

Well, first, he wasn't (looking) the same in person. You're lucky he looked better, not worse. :)

But also, spending a month talking to someone relatively local? Certainly that wasn't out of "fear for safety" -- otherwise one would have some serious emotional issues. I think it's more of "fear of being out of one's out-in-left-field Comfort Zone". You're an attractive woman -- even though it will cost you good opportunities as it will many others -- you can still get away with it.

I think the pen-pals first game should be understood, by those who roll that way, that it is an outsider's perspective that is Not Better, but in fact objectively not ideal, but to oneself, where they feel most comfortable at and that's just the way they are, etc.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 723
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The Coffee Date
Posted: 1/24/2015 3:09:02 PM

If the goofy genuine guy was so popular, I would have gotten laid or at least had alot more interest than I had. Me thinks it only matters if the guy is cute.


Very true. My guy is relaxed, quiet, genuine with a definite goofy streak. I would see him as a brother if I didn't find him physically attractive.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 724
The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/24/2015 3:25:17 PM
daynadaze

You are so right and if we ignored the nasties then they would disappear but some of us dont and so it perpetuates.
Yes if the disadvantaged, unintelligent, short, fat, mentally and emotionally ill, or whatever didn't breed there would be no more of the same to perpetuate the cycle. We are programmed to be attracted the symmetrical face and body, indicative of good breeding genes, but alcohol, rape and other factors have skewed all that down the eons.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 725
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The Toffee Cake
Posted: 1/24/2015 3:43:40 PM
^^^
You forgot cheap whores
It is the worlds oldest profession after all.
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