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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 26
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoorsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I'd be more concerned for her mental health than anything!

Who, but a very desperate,off-kilter person,even does that?

As was said, you tried to help.

Her choice,her consequences.

I'd rather shoot myself in the head than live under those conditions!!!
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 27
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History
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 7/19/2015 4:16:25 PM
it is so sad. i have to distance myself b/c i feel so bad for her.

my brother actually divorced her (she did not him) and he got loney some 25 years later (he told me this) and asked her to come to where he is. she did and this is the sad result.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 28
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 7/21/2015 2:39:29 PM
I understand how people like being politically correct and keeping things moving smoothly but when one of my relatives gets out of line significantly I'll do my best to get thru to them in a kind and understanding way. But when and if that doesn't work I'll give 'em hell, including threats and follow up on it.

He is abusing her due to being so self-centered in his illness. I'd personally walk social services and the police up there, show them around and introduce everyone.

IF you aren't a part of the solution you are a part of the problem. How are you going to feel if she dies as a result of all of this?
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 29
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UPDATE--freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 9/19/2015 7:51:53 PM
My sister in law is moving {actually ex] (on her own) to Tennessee soon.

I am so happy for her. She got a deal that will fit into her tiny, tight budget. In the country & this will take her away from an unhealthy situation -- she will have more control.

.
 gingerosity
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 30
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History
UPDATE--freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 9/19/2015 8:47:17 PM
Preliminary data appears to refute the hypothesis that people who have slept outdoors at 10 below for one winter want to go through it again. However, further volunteers are needed before statistical significance can be achieved.
 8inscrew
Joined: 11/17/2014
Msg: 31
UPDATE--freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 9/19/2015 10:25:43 PM
Spring comes early sometimes.
Ok hfx
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 32
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History
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/22/2016 10:16:30 AM
Hi All:

Hope POFs can advise.

My wonderful sister in law has finally moved. Her entire life saving etc affords her a tiny income (worked VERY hard all her life in surveying).

Now she has moved outside of Knoxville where there are 2200 people.

I used POF wonderful advice about solar blankets, mummy sleeper and more. THANK YOU

NOW--- need advice for hard rustic living. She has a place but its out of the way and aged---old 5th wheel --10 x 26 feet. Tennessee is looking into getting her electric since there is none.

ANY ADVICE for rustic living? I leave next week to see how she is. I am bringing extra tarps, solar lights for her 5 wheeler, rubber boots (muddy area).

ANY other suggestions? Any advice for a temporary storage shelter that she can put together?

THANK S :)
 high-ground
Joined: 6/16/2013
Msg: 33
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Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/23/2016 7:01:07 AM
Lot of info missing. Is the land hers or rented ?

Cheap storage from Harbor Freight located in Knoxville
http://www.harborfreight.com/10-ft-x-17-ft-portable-garage-69039.html

Get some discarded pallets from Home Depot, Sams Club, etc. for flooring, and lay 1/2" CTX (8' x 4' ) on top of pallets. CTX is used for roofing.
----------------------------
Until she gets electric, buy generator. You can get this on sale most of the time for $280, and its fairly quiet, and reviews are good for reliability.

http://www.harborfreight.com/engines-generators/gas-engine-generators/4000-peak3200-running-watts-65-hp-212cc-generator-epa-iii-69729.html

-------------------------------
When generator is running it could charge new or used car batteries also, for marginal electric needs at night. This investment may depend on how long a wait you have for power off the grid.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/24/2016 9:06:34 AM
Great advice. I put the info in word to download.
Men know the coolest things.

I will probably buy the generator for her but had not thought about this before. Is it safe?

I am heading to see her in Tennessee this next week so I will be better informed then.

:)
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 35
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/24/2016 12:01:51 PM
I have 2 pounds of ground beef in my freezer that I brought maybe 2 months ago, back when it was cold I wanted to make chili with it, but didn't get around to it.
Is the meat still good, or should I toss it in garbage.....
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 36
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History
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/25/2016 7:14:11 AM
Please don't buy a generator until you know how much power you're going to need and what your budget is. The 3200 watt generator the other poster mentioned weighs over 100 pounds and most campers don't have any electrical appliances that require that much power. A large generator is also a lot harder to pull start than a small one, especially for an old woman. You will regret buying that boat anchor trust me.

People who camp with RV's usually have a small generator that's used to charge a set of deep cycle batteries. So you only need to run the generator every couple of days to recharge the batteries. This saves gas, reduces noise and gives you the convenience of being able to turn on the lights without having to go outside and start the generator. Some campers also charge their batteries using their truck's alternator when they're driving. If she has a car she uses to drive into town on a regular basis this would be the cheapest, most sustainable solution. If not then we need a generator or a solar panel. All depends on what your power requirements are. The best would be if you made a list of what electrical devices she needs. Lights, TV and laptop computers don't require much power. A/C, microwave oven, clothes washer and space heaters take a lot of power. Make a list of what you want and what your budget is and we can make a system that works.

For generators if you don't need an air conditioner or microwave I recommend the 800 watt generator for $125. I like it because it's cheap, they're easy to work on. and it's small enough a woman can put it in the trunk of her car and bring it back to the store for repairs. And it won't use a lot of gas so it's perfect for trickle charging deep cycle batteries. If you're on a really tight budget this is the one to buy
http://www.harborfreight.com/900-Peak700-Running-Watts-2-HP-63cc-2-Cycle-Gas-Generator-EPACARB-60338.html

If you want a microwave oven or an air conditioner then you need more power and I recommend the 2200 watt inverter generator. You can leave it running when you need the a/c on hot days and it won't make too much noise or consume a lot of fuel. For $500 it's a good buy and it's not too heavy. Two women can lift that thing. The added benefit of inverter generators is they run at lower rpm when you don't need a lot of power. So if you want to skip the batteries and put your money in a generator this is the one you should buy.
http://www.harborfreight.com/2500-peak2200-running-watts-47-hp-125cc-portable-inverter-generator-61169.html

For batteries the best setup is two 6-volt golf cart batteries wired in series creating one big 12-volt battery. Run the power through an inverter and you can watch television, make coffee or even run a small refrigerator. Call golf courses, retirement communities, RV lots and see if they have used batteries. Old batteries that don't hold enough charge for a golf cart motor can still be used for lighter loads such as lights and if they're free or cheap get 4 or 6 of them.

Make a list of all the electrical devices your sister-in-law needs and what your budget is and we'll make a system that works
 high-ground
Joined: 6/16/2013
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/25/2016 1:49:43 PM
@LGL

That 2200 watt generator you recommend looks good, with good reviews. Runs at 64 dB, as opposed to the 70 dB 3200 watt generator. Yours cost more, both have 12V inverters. The 2200 1.3 gal tank run time 5-1/2 hrs @ 50%, 3200 4-gal tank 10 hrs @ 50%. I guess the 2200 would be good, for little power use, reviews are good.

Neither have a 12V voltage regulator for unattended charging. So I didn't even try to to explain the battery circuit, besides on a more permanent basis a few 150 watt solar panels would be more effective. The batteries I was recommending where temporary for night. As you say they need to take inventory, of what the RV has and functional.

The (1) one women will be living here on a permanent basis, so I figure the generator will not be moved around much. The tent car garage has plenty of room for storage, and a work area. Should last 3+ yrs, and is temporary anyway.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/26/2016 6:01:53 PM
LGL1975 and others.

appreciate the suggestions.

a rustic camper friend of mine said i need to see the situation first. And,he does not recommend the generator. Tennessee should assist an elderly woman to get electric!

I go there this coming week and will assess how bad it is. My brother left her in this terrible situation and she is really a nice, wholesome person. Part of our family and we want to help.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 39
Moved to Tenn- better. Need ADVICE
Posted: 3/26/2016 9:17:47 PM
My guess is that water and waste are going to be a much bigger problem than electric. I have a pump (for river water) and a 110 gallon stock tank, and a self built composting toilet. Good luck to her, and thanks to you.
 DangerDaveFreestyle
Joined: 12/26/2015
Msg: 40
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/28/2016 10:06:56 AM
Sounds like a case of a disgusting sack of rotting garbage who is lazy and doesnt want to spend the time staying clean and organized so the persons life gets worse and worse and you should avoid them at all costs.
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 41
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/28/2016 3:58:23 PM
This seems like a big undertaking for an old woman to want to do...is she in a trailer park, or property that she owns ?
Most 5th wheelers come with a generator, I'm curious as to how the power company is going to install a pole and cables then hook it up to her trailer.

This is the same woman that lived in a bone chilling shack right ?

Are you sure she's not in need of immediate and extensive mental help........
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 42
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/28/2016 7:51:10 PM
professora- You seem kind and have good intentions, but I have to say I'm wondering if maybe you are helping her too much.
This situation screams that she needs a mental health evaluation, asap.
She moved in with someone who left her, stayed in a shack, freezing and is now in a 5th wheel living in conditions not much better than the shack.
She needs help and I don't mean the kind you are giving her.
You riding in to rescue her every time she puts herself n a bad situation has created a dependent/co dependent relationship between the two of you.
Unless you are willing to live the rest of your life being her rescuer, you are going to have to stop fixing things for her.
PLEASE, get her to a mental health professional.
She needs counseling, medication and help to address her problems in a way where there is hope to solve them, rather than keep what is clearly a pattern of dysfunction going on for the rest of her life. (and yours, if you let it)
That really is the kindest, best thing you can do for her and I hope you do it.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 43
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freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/28/2016 8:13:21 PM
bamagrl68, Onyx49 & others:

Prior to this Tn situation, she lived with my brother who initially wanted her (his ex wife) to come live with him after 25 years apart (his words--> he was lonely). she sold everything only to find that my brother lied to her. he did not keep his end of the bargain.

meanwhile, she became disabled and then he really didn't want her. she is trying to survive on 1500$ a month!

She moved into the snow hut b/c my brother kept verbally abusing her and telling her to get out. not so easy. she has had a really hard life. only child is autistic!

I intend to check things out, enjoy our visit and leave her to her own efforts.

I agree that we cannot rescue everyone.

But, everyone needs a friend.

I keep up my own interests with teaching and research so this small amount of comfort for her is a pleasure for me. AND, I LOVE Tennessee so the trip is also for me.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 44
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/28/2016 8:24:13 PM
Professora- I hope it didn't seem like I was being harsh. I'm concerned for her, but also you.
Before you go, contact a social worker in the city she lives in. Usually, a non profit health clinic run by the city will have referral sources.
Ask if they will go out to where she lives and leave her information for organizations that have ways to help her make it on 1500 dollars a month.
They can also refer her to mental health counseling.
If they won't go to her, give them her address so that they can send the information to her.
From there, the rest is up to her. You really have gone above and beyond already.
I hope you both enjoy your visit.
 gingerosity
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 45
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History
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/29/2016 3:20:16 AM
Regardless of misfortune such as disability, short-term thinking is clearly what got her into this position. That's what she can do, so let her take care of that. I'd talk to her about what she is proposing to do to improve her situation for the long term. If there is anything she can do to supplement her income, focus on helping with that. For example, can she make any arts and crafts at a decent standard? You could help with some initial supplies and access to a market. Not only would doing something productive help with finances, it would help with things like boredom and low self-esteem.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/maimonides326751.html
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 46
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/31/2016 12:13:55 PM
OP, I just don't understand how...with $1500 USD, per month she can't get actual housing through one of the many programs available to help the elderly, or disabled.

The travel trailer, at best is temporary...she's too old to sustain a HOBO's lifestyle !

You shouldn't try encouraging her to continue this course, but if she won't listen...make sure to get all her correct information so you can make her funeral arrangements.


EDIT-

OMG, this is a prime example of what happens when mental illness gets suppressed !!!

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 47
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/31/2016 12:29:13 PM
I find that way to much emphasis is put on therapy around here. It's not some sort of miracle cure. Having said that, if someone receives a mental illness diagnosis, it can sometimes help them to qualify for extra support (housing, etc), at least in Canada.

Candles can give off a surprising amount of heat. But then there's the fire hazard... Best stick to candles in glasses. Tea lights in glass containers probably are the lowest fire hazard, but they have to be higher quality ones or they won't last through the evening.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 48
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 3/31/2016 2:56:57 PM
Well to remember that it's not possible to move to a new state and be immediately eligible for public services.

For someone who's been living in a tent, this must feel very much like a step up, not a step down.

I might check with the local Quakers if possible--they're a bit less intrusive than most faith based charity deliverers. . . .

Whether or not she gets/needs therapy, she still needs a place to live.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 49
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History
freezing at 10 below & sleeping outdoors
Posted: 4/1/2016 6:04:05 PM
Whatsamatterbaby & others:

I agree there is a lot of mental health concern-- but she is not a danger to self or others.

My sister in law is relatively happy in spite of her challenges. I'm visiting her in Tennessee now. She's handling her situation really well. She's eating well. I inspected her mobile and she has it ok even without plumbing or electric. Her area is not too chilly. Apparently in her area there are others with plumbing issues and one of the community leaders has a fresh water stream where he pipes the water to an outlet for everyone to take.

She's also working on getting electric -- the state sent someone. There are neighbors with electric within a 1/2 mile or closer.

Thanks for all your concerns and suggestions.
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