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 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 276
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...Page 12 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
I would just shrug and go on my way. I refuse to be shamed or guilted in to changing. If I change something about myself it's because I wanted to. At my age though, I really dont care what others think about me. There will always be those who will accept me as I am. If someone isnt attracted, he isnt attracted..just the way it is
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 277
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:34:47 PM
Ty for explaining Norwegian.

See I am of a different generation & mindset & I have a difficult time wrapping my brain around that. I think it is fine if people want NSA sex while looking, but I was basically too shy to do it in my younger years. Felt it had to be a relationship, or I was celibate. Cut N dried.

I'd feel real uncomfortable having sex w/ a man knowing he was thinking of me as "settling"- I prob couldn't relax enough to enjoy it to tell you the truth.

I also cannot wrap my brain around the comment the guy made to the OP either. I found it extremely rude & un-necessary.

When I was a bit younger, men seemed thrilled to have a nice looking gal, they didn't have all of this criteria, etc. I mean they had some, but in my day, gals like the OP got grabbed up by men who were thrilled to have her.

And when I was younger I didn't go out w/ a guy just to have something to do, I was into him or not. There was no lukewarm dating. The whole dutch/dinner/sleeping w/ him was foreign to me, cuz I only went to dinner w/ a man I slept with, if that makes sense. It was more about relationships for me rather than "dating" per se.

To me, I only "dated" the man I was "in a relationship" with. I find the forums confusing at times w/ terminology & such.
 Supersoulson
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 278
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:35:40 PM

If a man likes a woman enough to have sex w/ her, then maybe he should like her enough to have a relationship w/ her too,


Think of it this way : he wants pizza on a regular basis , to him she's a bowl of soup, he's hungry, she's there, she'll do FOR NOW.

Some guys would rather hold out for what they want, some will take what they can get anytime, anyplace.
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 279
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:14:41 PM
That wasn't very nice -I think you are pizza, OP :)
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 280
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:45:41 PM

If I followed the story correctly (maybe OP can come back?) He told her he liked more toned, then asked for a sex only interlude (paraphrasing)

There is some confusion here. This fit guy never hinted at having sex with me (he would have vomited), but rather said he wanted to be friends only and said he would help me tone up so I could get a guy I wanted (but not him of course). This was after our second meet which took place in a farmer's market where we each purchased local produce. When I told him I'm on a dating site to date also adding I wasn't looking for a brother he got upset because he really wanted my friendship because we could talk and talk. He was clearly upset when I told him I wasn't interested in a friendship and asked, "why can't women just be friends with me instead of wanting more?".

Now looking back and reading other people's opinions regarding this matter, I should not have gotten upset. Afterall, I wasn't his cup of tea and I should have accepted that.

Attraction mismatch sucks...!
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 281
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:14:23 PM
TY 4 coming back. Was it in another thread that you posted in that there was some guy who wanted sex only? Now I am really confused!

I didn't think you sounded upset in your opening post.

My impression was you were musing, like why did he make his comment- it was totally un-necessary. etc.

It was a bit unkind too.(what he said)

I'd be kissing the rat too!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 282
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:17:41 PM

If I followed the story correctly….He told her he liked more toned, then asked for a sex only interlude (paraphrasing)


Oh I thought he said, “sorry this isn’t going to work,” and then propositioned sex.

Apparently this OP meets a lot of men who don’t want her for anything but sex and feels compelled to start threads about all of them. :/
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 283
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:58:44 PM
There is some confusion here. This fit guy never hinted at having sex with me (he would have vomited)

My bad -- I was taking Blonde Angel's word for it since I didn't read ALL the posts in the thread (but my point still stands about the Concept of course). No, he wouldn't have vomited, unless you look far & away different than your pictures. You know that. He just wasn't attracted to you. He was a(n odd but) nice guy -- wanting to be friends. I'm sure IF his issue was about being "toned up" (ie getting into good shape) -- he would pork ya silly if you went along with his exercise regimen. Not that you should do that. And it wouldn't be a good idea to chase him, being friends with him either, of course.

Blonde Angel:
I'd feel real uncomfortable having sex w/ a man knowing he was thinking of me as "settling"- I prob couldn't relax enough to enjoy it to tell you the truth.

Sure, I understand. Although some women do that when they really like the guy, they agree to FWB, then when their wishes of turning him around to really be all about her fails, she accuses him of using her (she's human! she can agree not to!).

But when BOTH girl & guy aren't that attracted toward each other -- and the feeling's mutual, that's where the "he thinks of me as 'settling'" goes away for those with a decent self-esteem. At the same time, they feel the same way about the other, so they don't think of it as "settling" but more just non-optimal compatibilities.

I also cannot wrap my brain around the comment the guy made to the OP either. I found it extremely rude & un-necessary.

It was, if just out-right said so and wasn't questioned on specifics by the gal. No reason to draw it out. Plus, "toned" by itself isn't fitting. Of course it was probably his failed attempt at being "PC", as "more in shape" sounds harsher.

When I was a bit younger, men seemed thrilled to have a nice looking gal, they didn't have all of this criteria, etc.

But he didn't find her nice looking, that's the concept. And it probably wasn't about that specific -- as it was probably just overall Looks, in which he didn't find her "nice looking". No, not "vomiting" as OP said -- lol -- but just not "nice looking" in his eyes. He's a gym-rat, so he probably figures "BUT I *could* find her nice looking if she was in great GYM shape, as that'll make up for almost Any girl!" Again, he doesn't represent any day-n-age. He's kind of aloof. But then again......

I mean they had some, but in my day, gals like the OP got grabbed up by men who were thrilled to have her.

... earwigs and all? Rats included? ;)

And when I was younger I didn't go out w/ a guy just to have something to do, I was into him or not. There was no lukewarm dating.

Actually, my English teacher (and other teachers) talking about dating "back in the 'olden days" -- it oddly goes the reverse of that. Basically a gal could go out on dates with multiple guys for the sake of being taken out and have them "audition" -- and by who had the best tap-dance to impress the young gal, was the winner to possibly go steady with her (although I'm sure a lot of it had to do with looks, too; captain of the football team isn't going to be turned away against Herb the piano player).

Essentially his argument that many dates were handshakes & lemonade -- with folks you're not necessarily crazy about, but to "screen", etc. More "wholesome". Of course, I'm very sure there were plenty of boys & girls who were ga-ga about each other at first meet -- there's no shortage of that in any generation.

The whole dutch/dinner/sleeping w/ him was foreign to me, cuz I only went to dinner w/ a man I slept with, if that makes sense.

The whole going-dutch thing is NOT the way of the modern era. It's more accepted for a now Working gal to chip in for a coffee or a drink after dinner or whatever -- but it's not a reversal by any means! Most gals are not liking the Dutch thing -- although now they know that they should contribute at some point when datING (and working), but that's different.

And yes, it does make sense. You only go to dinner with men you sleep with. That's why men like to take you to dinner. It works! ;)
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 284
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:16:37 PM
There is some confusion here. This fit guy never hinted at having sex with me (he would have vomited)

My bad -- I was taking Blonde Angel's word for it since I didn't read ALL the posts in the thread (but my point still stands about the Concept of course). No, he wouldn't have vomited, unless you look far & away different than your pictures. You know that. He just wasn't attracted to you. He was a(n odd but) nice guy -- wanting to be friends. I'm sure IF his issue was about being "toned up" (ie getting into good shape) -- he would pork ya silly if you went along with his exercise regimen. Not that you should do that. And it wouldn't be a good idea to chase him, being friends with him either, of course.
I am sorry I mis understood & posted based on my incorrect interpretation.


Blonde Angel:

I'd feel real uncomfortable having sex w/ a man knowing he was thinking of me as "settling"- I prob couldn't relax enough to enjoy it to tell you the truth.

Sure, I understand. Although some women do that when they really like the guy, they agree to FWB, then when their wishes of turning him around to really be all about her fails, she accuses him of using her (she's human! she can agree not to!).
Well if a woman agrees to FWB when she really wants more, the onus is on her if she ends up disappointed/hurt.


When I was a bit younger, men seemed thrilled to have a nice looking gal, they didn't have all of this criteria, etc.

But he didn't find her nice looking, that's the concept. And it probably wasn't about that specific -- as it was probably just overall Looks, in which he didn't find her "nice looking". No, not "vomiting" as OP said -- lol -- but just not "nice looking" in his eyes. He's a gym-rat, so he probably figures "BUT I *could* find her nice looking if she was in great GYM shape, as that'll make up for almost Any girl!" Again, he doesn't represent any day-n-age. He's kind of aloof. But then again......


I mean they had some, but in my day, gals like the OP got grabbed up by men who were thrilled to have her.

... earwigs and all? Rats included? ;)

Again I cannot wrap my brain around her experience, have younger men changed THAT much?



And when I was younger I didn't go out w/ a guy just to have something to do, I was into him or not. There was no lukewarm dating.

Actually, my English teacher (and other teachers) talking about dating "back in the 'olden days" -- it oddly goes the reverse of that. Basically a gal could go out on dates with multiple guys for the sake of being taken out and have them "audition" -- and by who had the best tap-dance to impress the young gal, was the winner to possibly go steady with her (although I'm sure a lot of it had to do with looks, too; captain of the football team isn't going to be turned away against Herb the piano player).

Essentially his argument that many dates were handshakes & lemonade -- with folks you're not necessarily crazy about, but to "screen", etc. More "wholesome". Of course, I'm very sure there were plenty of boys & girls who were ga-ga about each other at first meet -- there's no shortage of that in any generation.
When I was younger, we did not have the internet. We also did not have FB, FWB etc. We had boyfriend & girlfriend, or fiancée or husband. Older widowed single people like Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show "kept company"- they had a beau but were not getting married etc.



The whole dutch/dinner/sleeping w/ him was foreign to me, cuz I only went to dinner w/ a man I slept with, if that makes sense.

The whole going-dutch thing is NOT the way of the modern era. It's more accepted for a now Working gal to chip in for a coffee or a drink after dinner or whatever -- but it's not a reversal by any means! Most gals are not liking the Dutch thing -- although now they know that they should contribute at some point when datING (and working), but that's different.
Well all the women I know my age, older & even a bit younger don't do Dutch, but after they seem to be a couple, she will cook for him & they may take turns getting things, but their initial dates, Dutch is unheard of. Maybe it is a NY thing?


And yes, it does make sense. You only go to dinner with men you sleep with. That's why men like to take you to dinner. It works! ;)
Well I don't date men for dinner/sex, I have food in my house. I would NOT let a man buy me dinner if we were not in a serious thing.

It seems like today, there is all this casual sex floating around, like if u stick ur hand out, it will just fly into the palm of ur hand. A former Bf who was older than me once told me it was a big deal when he got a hand-job on Prom Nite ;0P

I don't even wanna think what people expect these days...

all this getting naked, sweating, making weird noises LOL, weird expressions, I want it to be very special, I feel sorry for all the FB & FWB people, like they r missing out by having sex rather than not having sex, if that makes any sense...
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 285
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:41:54 PM

This thread was about how I met someone that was painfully honest about how he felt about my body. What is interesting is most assume it's due to not being 'thin' enough. However, there are some men who prefer women with extra weight on their bodies which was mentioned (not in those exact words) by one poster.


Either glorified spotters are getting aggressive with their marketing tactics - or that guy is weird. And best to not try and figure that out, you do right by avoiding people like that.

You don't have a body problem, you have a body image problem. Where you see a problem, and so you think the world sees a problem. When everyone tells you there isn't one.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 286
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:51:06 PM

It's more accepted for a now Working gal to chip in for a coffee or a drink after dinner or whatever –


“Accepted,” by whom? Not the men I’ve dated. Society? Your buddies?


Most gals are not liking the Dutch thing -- although now they know that they should contribute….


Where are you getting your info? “Most gals” don’t like the dutch thing? Says who? Since we’re making unsubstantiated comments, “most gals” don’t have to deal with the dutch thing, because “most guys” don’t want potential romantic partners, ie: dates, “chipping in” for dates.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 287
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 6:22:56 PM

When I was younger, we did not have the internet. We also did not have FB, FWB etc. We had boyfriend & girlfriend, or fiancée or husband. Older widowed single people like Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show "kept company"- they had a beau but were not getting married etc.


We're of the same Generation, but My experiences were completely different.

IDK, maybe you lived in Hicksville Where-ever. Lived in VA outside DC & the West-coast in or near Big Cities or Tourist Areas.

From 1974 to 1984 the Sexual Revolution was in Full swing. NSA, ONS, FB, & FWB were common till AIDs hit & You could be killed from Sex. I met lots of Women who were just as Aggressive as Men when it came to Sex & Whom they wanted to have Sex with.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 288
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 6:34:27 PM
We're of the same Generation, but My experiences were completely different.

NOT! Excuse me, I am SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!

From 1974 to 1984 the Sexual Revolution was in Full swing.

In 74 I was a Sophomore in HS. In 84 I was a blushing Bride.


NSA, ONS, FB, & FWB were common till AIDs hit & You could be killed from Sex. I met lots of Women who were just as Aggressive as Men when it came to Sex & Whom they wanted to have Sex with.

Sorry for those who have or had aids. I was not an aggressive woman & yes MY EXPERIENCE was completely different from yours & seems like it still is.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 289
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 7:11:46 PM

BBE:We're of the same Generation, but My experiences were completely different.



BA: NOT! Excuse me, I am SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!


Shouting won't change the Fact the We're Both Members of the Baby Boomer Generation......


Baby boomers are people born during the demographic Post–World War II baby boom between the years 1946 and 1964. According to the U.S. Census Bureau,[2] the term "baby boomer" is also used in a cultural context.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_boomers

Also You're only a Year Younger than my Wife was...... I still contend it was the Area You lived in that was the Main Difference..... Then She wasn't a Gold Digger with GPS like You...... That was another Cultural Difference....
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 290
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History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 7:28:01 PM

What is interesting is most assume it's due to not being 'thin' enough.

I can see how people were thinking that but honestly now that I read Norwegianguys comments and I think about it, it's actually kind of the opposite why he rejected you. (if that's even true which I don't believe) Women who work out are noticeably bigger framed they have curves (not fat) often to referred to as "thick" in some communities think Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lawrence,Kim Kardashian, Marilyn Monroe,Niki Minaji. They all have bigger thighs, big booties, tiny waist and boobs or something in that form. Then you can compare bodies of these women to those like of fashion models and some actresses (boy's body, no boobs, no butt, thin as a rail).


But he didn't find her nice looking, that's the concept. And it probably wasn't about that specific -- as it was probably just overall Looks, in which he didn't find her "nice looking".

Thank you...... And that's what I said all along from my very first post. The whole body type thing was a just an excuse for the fact that he didn't like the whole package. Unless OP was extreme one way or the other (super fat or super skinny which she appears to be neither) then any man who thought her overall appearance was something that a "catfish" perpetrator would steal off the internet, wouldn't have given a rats azz (sorry) if she wasn't "toned". The man simply didn't like everything over all. Op didn't meet his standards of what he considers date-able and maybe OP felt the same. No big deal not everyone is for everyone we all have our tastes.


He was a(n odd but) nice guy -- wanting to be friends.

No I don't think he was being nice or wanting to be friends. Most guys single and dating wouldn't hang out with a girl they've dated and didn't find attractive just to be "friends" let alone workout with them. He was either trying to set up for the FWB scenario or he felt bad about telling her she just wasn't attractive and to rid himself of guilt he offered to be friends and help her workout (or maybe both)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 291
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 7:38:55 PM


No I don't think he was being nice or wanting to be friends. Most guys single and dating wouldn't hang out with a girl they've dated and didn't find attractive just to be "friends" let alone workout with them. He was either trying to set up for the FWB scenario or he felt bad about telling her she just wasn't attractive and to rid himself of guilt he offered to be friends and help her workout (or maybe both) .
<------ true.


But he didn't find her nice looking, that's the concept. And it probably wasn't about that specific -- as it was probably just overall Looks, in which he didn't find her "nice looking".

Thank you...... And that's what I said all along from my very first post.


This is a good summation, I don't know what the guy was trying to set up. Be it a FWB situation or something else. But there is no reason he would want to be your friend, that would help you work out. So exercise caution, and whatever else you want to exercise.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 292
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 7:48:23 PM
7 years? Like that's a big difference lol. Gawd u women are so senitive with ur age. Females antics are tiresome.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 293
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 8:22:06 PM
In 74 I was a Sophomore in HS. In 84 I was a blushing Bride.


Blonde Angel, you're actually 55---the same age as I. You and I were from the same general area around Upstate New York, and I was also a Sophomore in high school in '74.

You must not have gone to college right after high school, because free sex was rampant on college campuses in the early 1970s---at least it was at the one I attended in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. It was nonstop partying. I find it hard to believe you were so sheltered during that era.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 294
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 8:43:31 PM
Not everyone wants to do what others do. Wild concept with the culture we've had for the last 40 years plus.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 295
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 9:32:26 PM
H.S.- I moved up here in 87 as a wife & Mother-I grew up in NYC & Queens. Went to college in Brooklyn.
No I didn't live the lifestyle Blue Eyes described.
And I no longer use my real DOB on internet sites for security reasons, but yes I am 55 ;0D

Correct, Hot Dog, not everyone wants to do what others did/are doing.
No judgment.

 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 296
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 10:10:40 PM
Hey Magnum. MSG 301.

I've got a steel toed enlisted boot for your crusty old commisioned a$$.

You come to LA and I'll hand you some knuckle muffin.

Serious.

Me and you. I'd love to kick some commissioned officer a$$.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 297
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 10:21:46 PM
I don't care if it's 21 or 99.

It's got a mouth.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 298
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 10:36:13 PM

Hey Magnum. MSG 301.

I've got a steel toed enlisted boot for your crusty old commisioned a$$.

You come to LA and I'll hand you some knuckle muffin.

Serious.

Me and you. I'd love to kick some commissioned officer a$$.


One the Commissioned Officer was My Mustang Father a WW2 USMC NCO who went to College & became a USAF Officer..

Myself I was a Combat Infantryman NCO & even though I'm 61 now, some Swab Jock Sonar Technician doesn't scare me.. What ya gonna do, hit me with Your Mop? I still don't buy it, that you made ST3 @ that age, even if you changed your age on the pic from 17 to 18 years old. See, I understand what time in Grade & time in Service is for those Promotions.

I guess I might have to Worry that You'd try & strangle Me with your Gold chains, like all you middle age Vette Drivers like to wear. Too Bad a Nice Car like that is Wasted on some over the hill Guy.

vvvvv I can understand why a Gold Digger with GPS wouldn't like the Idea of Free Love......

As for the Over the Hill, a Nice handling Fast Car like His Vette is Wasted on some Over the Hill Guy who can't really appreciate the Handling & Power a Late Model Vette has...... That the Irony of it. A 20 something Guy who could use & appreciate it can't afford it.... Unless they have a silver spoon in their mouth......
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 299
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History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 10:36:30 PM

NOT! Excuse me, I am SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!


You must be thinking of dogs. It takes way more than 7 years for humans to have a generation.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 300
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/9/2015 10:37:42 PM

Not everyone wants to do what others do. Wild concept with the culture we've had for the last 40 years plus.


This country was founded on the concept of rich white men maintaining control of "right", proprety ownership, knowing what others should be doing, and controlling them for the betterment of country was the right idea. It wasn't till Lincoln, and forward movements like womens sufferage that expanded on the idea of liberal freedom and why it is important for all.

A bunch of racists with a handful of a good ideas, that's the reality behind the prestigue. You just have to read between the lines to understand the truth behind the history. Not everyone wants to do what others want to do, nothing is more apparent throughout history as nations battle for control of "right."

That is what is cool about right, and doing what you want to do. Not because you can, but why you can. Because few truly can around the world. Can't just apply it to superficial meaning.

off topic=
How do you become commissioned without an education?
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