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 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 351
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender buildPage 15 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
I have a very good female friend whose weight is substantially BELOW what a typical woman of her height weighs currently in the good ol' USA. She has been turned down/away numerous times for being too thin.

I am quite sure there are other women who have run into the same issue.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 352
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 10:27:37 AM

If a woman told me this I would deduce that “ getting along well “ wouldn’t be getting along well ENOUGH.

I’ve seen enough women with guys who had horrible bodies to lead me to conclude that if a woman likes a guy enough she will overlook A LOT physically.


I think that's true because of our biology and they way we've evolved socially. I think a lot of people get rejected for their body shape because it reflects lifestyle choices. It's always kind of silly when people post on Facebook that they went for a run or went to the gym. Human beings are supposed to be active every day. That's why we have muscular bodies and we're not designed like a sloth. People get rejected for every other reason in the book though. How much money you make, if you drive a car, who your friends are, what job you do, etc. Let people be picky if they want to be. You can't change them.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 353
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 10:34:42 AM
[quote[When a woman examines a potential boyfriend candidate (some guy she likes enough to want to date), here are some of the things that go through her head:

Is he going to like me?
Am I going to be good enough for him ?
Is he going to think I'm too slutty ? Or not experienced enough ?
Am I too young for him ? Or too old for him ?
What if he thinks I'm boring ?
What if I'm not what he's looking for?


Except for wondering if the attracton is mutual and if there is compatibility, the rest is high school shyt.
Most of the women here, on average, are middle aged. It's been 20 plus years since high school baby, we are WAY past the insecure crap those questions stem from.
You obviously know nothing about what goes on in grown women's minds.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 354
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 11:06:38 AM

I’ve seen enough women with guys who had horrible bodies to lead me to conclude that if a woman likes a guy enough she will overlook A LOT physically.


Offline perhaps because she got to know him ( personality, intelligence etc ) over time. Or it was ( at least partly ) because of his money / social status etc. Online, probably not. If a woman doesn't like your photos or a man doesn't exactly match a list of requirements, she probably won't be interested.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 355
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 11:23:57 AM
I can't speak for all women but one of my requirements to considering any guy I am attracted to is that he's mutually attracted. A man who's not attracted to me (when I have interest) is a deal breaker and not something that I entertain. It doesn't make much logical sense to think twice about a guy who's not into you - but maybe that's just me.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 356
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 1:28:29 PM

Except for wondering if the attracton is mutual and if there is compatibility, the rest is high school shyt.
Most of the women here, on average, are middle aged. It's been 20 plus years since high school baby, we are WAY past the insecure crap those questions stem from.
You obviously know nothing about what goes on in grown women's minds.


Aw, Charmin, you mean you aren't consumed with angst that some man will determine you are "too slutty? " LOL.
Yeah, me neither.


A woman doesn't care if the attraction is mutual. She only cares if she is attracted to him.


Well, this partly true in the sense that if I am NOT attracted, then everything else is moot.


In fact I'll go as far to say that women prefer it when they really like a man, but they are not sure if the man likes her back.


Really? My two year old nephew likes us to pretend we can't see him. I mean, I think he likes us to pretend, but does he know we are pretending, and he just goes along with it, or does he really think we can't see him? Is he secretly laughing at us? I don't care; it's a fun game.

The game of grown up people playing games about them liking each other doesn't sound like any fun :(


Do I know what goes on in the females mind ? All men know what goes on in the female mind to an extent, you have to, otherwise you'd never get laid, since the burden of seduction falls at men's feet. It's men who generally make the first move, organize the date, sexual escalate, make the first text or call and are always the ones who have to risk rejection. It's men who have to basically run the seduction campaign from beginning to end.


For ****s sake...what's with this "female" crap? It sounds like you are talking about an animal, or a lab specimen. Men seem to be consistently referred to a as men. It would be nice to referred to in more "human" terms...
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 357
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 2:48:07 PM
@newold....

The theory goes that men who persist in calling women, 'ladies' and 'females' and 'girls', etc. Pretty much everything BUT what we are...which is WOMEN, are just sexually threatened by women, so, by utilizing other words that have less, "oomph", in the sexual impact dept. such as 'woman' or 'women', they can reduce women to a less threatening being....

Those kinds of men, usually have deep-seated insecurities about their sexual prowess.... ;-)

Any way...Blah, blah, blah, "women are this way", "women are that way"...Whatever!

Reality is that any guy who is getting laid is enjoying that because there is a woman willing to sleep with him for whatever reason, period.

I know many guys think there's some kind of 'magic' formula or something, as do many women with men, but there really isn't....

Just the right person, at the right place, at the right time.....be that for sex, dating or a relationship.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 358
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 3:00:13 PM

The theory goes that men who persist in calling women, 'ladies' and 'females' and 'girls', etc. Pretty much everything BUT what we are...which is WOMEN, are just sexually threatened by women, so, by utilizing other words that have less, "oomph", in the sexual impact dept. such as 'woman' or 'women', they can reduce women to a less threatening being....

Those kinds of men, usually have deep-seated insecurities about their sexual prowess.... ;-)


Seriously, this is a crock of s h i t. Men are called boys, dudes, kids, gentlemen, males, as s holes, just as women are called girls, ladies, females, b i t ches, women and how you call one or the other is not necessarily a reflection of the persons insecurities.


Reality is that any guy who is getting laid is enjoying that because there is a woman willing to sleep with him for whatever reason, period.


Okay, that is true, but why there are guys that are always getting laid, while other guys are not. There are looks and skills that a guy can have that will increase exponentially his chances of success.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 359
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 5/25/2015 3:09:49 PM
If someone is not attracted to your body type, then you can either: a) change it or b) accept that this part of you is not something they're interested in and move along.

Personally I feel that if you change *just* for someone else (without any previous desire to do so) then there is a good possibility of resentment/frustration and anger build-up toward the person who expressed their preference, which isn't really fair on either person - the person who changes or the person who was just being honest in their preference.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 360
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 3:15:00 PM

Seriously, this is a crock of s h i t. Men are called boys, dudes, kids, gentlemen, males, as s holes, just as women are called girls, ladies, females, b i t ches, women and how you call one or the other is not necessarily a reflection of the persons insecurities.


Really? Cause I see it here all of the time....Women rarely call men anything but men....

Whereas women are called all of the other monikers....I think more as a sign of respect, than anything....Interesting that, don't you think?
When did the word 'woman' become DISrespectful??

BTW...it isn't MY theory....It actually belongs to a pretty famous linguist who did the study because he noticed this himself....
Can't remember the guys name but you could probably Google it....


Okay, that is true, but why there are guys that are always getting laid, while other guys are not. There are looks and skills that a guy can have that will increase exponentially his chances of success.


IG...I'm well aware of your views on being a PUA, or else just utilizing some of those methods, and your claim to be successful by doing so....

Hate to tell you, that if she wasn't into YOU, at that TIME, WHEREVER, then it AIN'T gonna happen....

I don't care how well you 'play the game'....

Do some men get laid more? You betcha!

Those tend to be men that actually LIKE women as more than a means to an end, and have some clue as to how to be respectful in their approach, whatever that may be...
They also tend to be men who are more outgoing and gregarious, articulate, social and SEEMINGLY confident....

Usually it takes a few hours at least, before we get to see if the confidence is real or just a smooth veneer.... ;-)
And even then, he MAY just still get lucky, if everything else IS right, ie. time and place....depending on what she's looking for, of course....
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 361
What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 3:49:09 PM

Why is body type such a huge issue? If you don't like who your body attracts, it's easy enough to change it. What about people who are dumber than f*ck? What are they supposed to do, get smarter? And it's not like anyone wants to say "I'm not attracted to your level of intelligence." Nor are they going to be able to figure it out on their own :(

And ANOTHER thing: Fishing for compliments is waaay more unattractive than being obese or developmentally delayed. I keep seeing this on these threads and it's ruining an otherwise pleasurable reading experience :/


You have a way with words honey *kisses blown*

Your "dumber than f*ck" goes right along with my "I thought he'd never shut the f*ck up, lol"

As for the nonsense, I've spoken to many people whose personality I liked but they were not not my physical type. I'm not sure what it is about NYC, but most men seem to be obsessed with working out, clocking in time at the gym, seek the latest thrill, tough mudder or whatever the f*ck gets them off. Most of the men who contact me are fit to the brim, are thin, lanky, etc. I see very few men on POF who dare to have a few pounds over or more. I've been contacted by many personal trainers (not sure if they are looking for a new client, or what they think is easy a$$, lol), the gym rats, the thrill seekers, etc.

Whenever my 3 year old niece is presented with something she is not interested in, she eloquenctly and cutely says "I don't want it". That's exactly what goes through my mind, I don't want it. I'll take a few pounds over (evenly distributed), over any fit man anyday, but such is not readily available on POF, so I've met a few of those fit people and all they talk about is diet and exercise or they are so fixated on themselves, they can't meet for a date, goodness gracious, its like sitting across the equavalent of a "bimbo", they got nothing else in there, it's empty.

The same thing is likely happening to them, most of the women on POF may be overweight of whatever, so they settled for what's available, over what's rare. Who really knows?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 362
What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:12:34 PM

Really? Cause I see it here all of the time....Women rarely call men anything but men....


Really? We get called pigs and idiots.

A few years ago I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said "Men are not pigs, pigs are gentle, sensitive, and intelligent animals." I also saw another one that said "Men are idiots and I married their king." And it was seen as alright to publicly display this kind of misandristic sentiment in country like Canada that has hate speech laws.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 363
What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:20:52 PM

Seriously, this is a crock of s h i t. Men are called boys, dudes, kids, gentlemen, males, as s holes, just as women are called girls, ladies, females, b i t ches, women and how you call one or the other is not necessarily a reflection of the persons insecurities.


I rarely see women use anything other than man or guy...occasionally dude.

This "female" thing has really caught on. I understand not everyone cares about these things, but I feel it is a fairly dehumanizing term. It reminds me of something I would hear on "Wild Kingdom". The counterpart of a man is a woman. If you want to use lady, her counterpart is a gentleman.

Funny, isn't it that public washrooms are often labelled "MEN" and "LADIES"? No biggie, though, right?
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 364
What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:25:40 PM

A few years ago I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said "Men are not pigs, pigs are gentle, sensitive, and intelligent animals." I also saw another one that said "Men are idiots and I married their king." And it was seen as alright to publicly display this kind of misandristic sentiment in country like Canada that has hate speech laws.


That is disgusting, but clearly used as a misguided joke or the person actually hates men. The term "female" is being used by men who think it's okay. That is the problem. The disdain is subtle.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 365
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:29:55 PM

Do I know what goes on in the females mind ? All men know what goes on in the female mind to an extent, you have to, otherwise you'd never get laid…


So you not only know that every woman is thinking the exact same thing and what those things are…..


Is he going to like me?
Am I going to be good enough for him ?
Is he going to think I'm too slutty ? Or not experienced enough ?
Am I too young for him ? Or too old for him ?
What if he thinks I'm boring ?
What if I'm not what he's looking for?


you also know how to convey the answers to her? How do you make her think you think she’s not too slutty, and not too inexperienced, but just right? Is that the art of your seduction, convincing and affirming these ridiculous doubts she supposedly has?

That list sounds like something out of a playah handbook, something negging to undermine her confidence and convince her to settle for the douche who just slipped her a roofie.


…since the burden of seduction falls at men's feet.


Oh it’s a “burden” to seduce a woman? Poor you.

I can tell you this, if a woman isn’t into you, there’s no kind of premeditated “seduction” you can attempt that’s gonna change her mind; conversely, if a woman is into a man, she won’t wait around for him to plot his seduction of her.
 greatblah
Joined: 11/14/2012
Msg: 366
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What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:30:07 PM
Try it! You might like it!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 367
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:48:29 PM

This "female" thing has really caught on. I understand not everyone cares about these things, but I feel it is a fairly dehumanizing term. It reminds me of something I would hear on "Wild Kingdom". The counterpart of a man is a woman. If you want to use lady, her counterpart is a gentleman.


This reminds me of that scene in “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” where she’s just caught whatshisname with the naked woman in his bathroom; she’s watching a nature show with lions and the announcer says, “Coitus is brief…” as the male dismounts.

Anyhoo…I do agree with you about this and I think it has something to do with the way some men think ALL women think and feel the exact same way about everything, and all they have to do is crack the “female” code and they’re in. It IS dehumanizing. Consider who uses it.

I think it’s a combination of ignorance and inexperience, with probably at least a dash of misogyny. Luckily all males aren’t like that. ;)


but why there are guys that are always getting laid, while other guys are not.


The “not” guys haven’t learned to bullsh!t? The others probably employed that “fake it til you make it” thing; it’s fairly easy to lie about getting laid, isn’t it? I thought that was just part of being male.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 368
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What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:51:52 PM
@kiss....

Well, it takes all kinds apparently and I think that it's pretty gross that people think that's 'funny'....but hey, we ALSO live in a world where Howard Stern makes money demeaning people for a LIVING, and he's not alone, as we all know.....

But women don't have to go far....In fact on these very forums there are, on ANY given day, at least several men who are discussing having sex with women in really derogatory terms, let's see...there's 'porking', and 'smashing', and 'jumping' and I could go on...but why bother?

Do ANY of those terms sound less than violent????

Doesn't sound like too much fun to ME!!! LOL

You know what I find really interesting, is the fact that women have been living with gender inequality on every level until a mere, oh I"ll be GENEROUS here! and say 100 years ago....

So humans have been 'civilized' for how long again? What, about 9000 BC?

And women have been subordinate for that ENTIRE time, with nary a WORD....
Men have enjoyed their 'unassailable rights' AS men, and if a woman had a good Life...It was at some man's indulgence...

But the last 100 years of women actually SPEAKING up and making changes, with help of MANY men btw, has spawned this cult of 'male indignation' at best and misogyny at worst, wherein men are finding it REALLY difficult to no longer have the status quo....It has taken NO TIME at all, for men to get 'miffed' at not having things their own way anymore, or WORSE, unequal and NOT in THEIR favour....

Try it for another 12000 or so years....and THEN we can talk....lol

In all seriousness, that was NEVER the goal of Feminism, no matter what some may think....in these enlightened times, it is taking NO time at all for things to start SLOWLY, I admit, as far as some men are concerned anyway, to find their 'level'....
Even the laws that have been so financially taxing to some men, are being revamped as we speak....
Heard of a custody case last week in the local news where a woman was brought up on charges of 'interference', for playing games with her ex, as far as visitation for the kids was concerned....
AND, they are also investigating the accuracy of her financial records as that factored into the child support agreement, as well...

So, pardon my lack of empathy at times, or rather my empathy is reserved for those men that I personally know have been somehow shafted by 'the system'...But we have 12000 YEARS of women dying, being maimed and killed on a regular basis, being treated legally, as property and forced into everything from indentured servitude to sexual slavery, and I can go on....

.....and then we have maybe 50 yrs, really, when all is said and done that the pendulum has swung somewhat more on the women's side...STILL women getting killed by their partners, exes, etc., but yes, 50 years within which a percentage of men have gotten the shaft....

Yeah...NO comparison.....
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 369
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What what!!
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:55:16 PM
kissfromarose

That type of bumper sticker says more about the owner than anyone else. Bad judgement call marrying an idiot. I wouldn't be broadcasting it...
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 370
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 4:57:23 PM

I can't speak for all women but one of my requirements to considering any guy I am attracted to is that he's mutually attracted.


You don't even need to try to speak for all women. Apparently, dlpoolupe2 is the official spokesperson for them.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 371
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 5:15:12 PM
The line " I am not attracted to your body" is my Mothers language. If for example is she said someone had
nice eyes
You could bet the ranch they had 20 of them
And all this talk of sex.. please. Since I doubt I've wandered into a porn movie shoot
I would reckon everyone is pretty happy to have sex.
Like it is a world of hot stallions banging HAHAHA
Honest, I love the forums
Pass the potatoes
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 372
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 5:17:41 PM
@Pigof....

Some of us are used to it, no worries....

We've met before in several other incarnations of his..... '-)
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 373
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 5:23:13 PM
Newoldwoman:


...so how do you get out of dating them, then?


Confuse them with really big words. (Cool your jets, my peeps - I'm no man hater, and I certainly am not stereotyping men as dumb. Indeed, I'm kind of partial to the term "people". Wait! Is that speciesist??)
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 374
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 5:32:54 PM

But the last 100 years of women actually SPEAKING up and making changes, with help of MANY men btw, has spawned this cult of 'male indignation' at best and misogyny at worst, wherein men are finding it REALLY difficult to no longer have the status quo....It has taken NO TIME at all, for men to get 'miffed' at not having things their own way anymore, or WORSE, unequal and NOT in THEIR favour....


NO TIME AT ALL is right. Speaking of the time it takes for equality...

My parents, my son and I were watching the news about the Irish Referendum the other day and we were saying that the gay rights movement has made a lot of gains in a relatively short time. I am not saying their fight is over, but who would have thought even forty years ago that same sex marriage would become widely accepted? My 80 year old dad's theory? The gay rights movement has more power than other minority groups because it is the only one that includes white males.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 375
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 5/25/2015 5:36:18 PM

Confuse them with really big words. (Cool your jets, my peeps - I'm no man hater, and I certainly am not stereotyping men as dumb. Indeed, I'm kind of partial to the term "people". Wait! Is that speciesist??)


You definitely said "people who are dumb as ****."

:))
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