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 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 547
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender buildPage 23 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

I'm entitled to my viewpoint that person could be racist based on the reason(s) why (s)he wouldn't date a certain race.


No one is preventing your from as expressing, as such. I'm equally entitled to say that whatever is HER reasons, they're only HER'S to assess -- regardless of what others think.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 548
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 9:10:03 AM

100%

Some people take issue with not being included, irrespective of whether they wanted the very thing or not.


I agree.


Just like the tree in the forrest.........If someone doesn't want to date you, you wouldn't date them anyway....does it still count as rejection?


no, it just means you both crossed nature paths for those ten seconds.


You know many times I've been told "I wouldn't date you" in the forums? Why does such seem to come from people I woudln't date in the first place? Am I supposed to feel rejection? because I don't, I don't feel anything no matter the reason.......caviar could be running out and I woudn't feel like anything is being lost because I don't eat caviar.


It's a futile attempt at marginalizing you -- which it isn't. Your interest and preferences equally matter.


While we get to use labels however we please, let us please look up the meaning before we employ them.


I agree.

I need to keep mine in check.

By the way and very off topic: I love the new profile photo -- especially with the delicious confectionery fare.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 549
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 9:13:33 AM

Name me one problem that get's better by not talking about ?


1. Being unfaithful: you either get over it or you don't, details won't provide relief.

2. Impending death: You are already dying (as are all of us), you don't need to acknowledge your own mortality daily, nor when having a terminal illness.

3. Mentioning the loss of a child to their mother, why the shanking?

4. Treating people with respect instead of telling them they deserve respect. You don't need to talk about it, you feel it in the way they treat you.

5. Helping someone out in the street financially without asking what they will use the money for.

6. Going over to someone who is sitting by themselves and asking them to join them and engage in conversation (if their disposition is such that conversation is welcomed).

I think of many scenarios that get better without discussing the issue at hand.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 550
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 9:15:39 AM

I write about racism because it affects my life and the lives of those I care about. Because it has shaped how I experience and see the world and myself, so by understanding racism I understand myself and the world better. It has little to do with trying to make whites look bad or making some kind of appeal to them.


Racism is a very difficult topic to talk about because many people that are racist, do not consider themselves racist. It is a fear of the "otherness" of people that are different than YOU. For instance, I have encounter my share of racism for being Hispanic in the United States. It's quite different than those of blacks, since it is at times more subtle, and at other times more blatant. For instance, my brothers from Mexico, the little brown guys with Maya and Astec blood who's family has lived in America long before Columbus came to America is labeled an Illegal. This person cleans all the toilets, digs the ditches, picks the fruit and vegetables from coast to coast, yet is seen as a pariah of society and it's marginalized.

What also happens is that if you are a Hispanic, your pay is about 70 percent of what the average anglo would get. Also, in many professions it's harder to get in, because you are being profiled as something else.

I was not aware of the amount of discrimination that exist in England until I listened to an interview with the actor who played Martin Luther King in Selma, who is originally from Nigeria, but grew up in London.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 551
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 9:19:26 AM


Name me one problem that get's better by not talking about ?


Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.

The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 552
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 10:16:56 AM
"Name me one problem that gets better by not talking about (it)"

>>>sometimes, tho, a problem doesn't get better by only talking about it. sometimes, it gets better because both sides listen, as well.

some problems--death, the weather--won't get better no matter what. but we can work around them. sometimes that;s the only "help" there is.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 553
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 10:34:49 AM

Name me one problem that get's better by not talking about ?


Name me one problem you've made better with your eight f*cking pages of babble.
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 554
view profile
History
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 4:06:32 PM

What do men want ? Women. Period. No long list. No games. They just want women and will find most women sexy.


No, no, no, not true.

I don't find most women sexy at all. I find women with nice, tight, fit asses sexy. A nice face and hair are good too, but I could care less about boobs.... though nipples are important. Rotten teeth are out as well.

Dude, you are a very odd duck and have some serious issues. The world really isn't against you. In fact, the world, for the most part, really doesn't give a shit about you. Get over it....

 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 555
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/5/2015 6:53:23 PM

No one is preventing your from as expressing, as such. I'm equally entitled to say that whatever is HER reasons, they're only HER'S to assess -- regardless of what others think.


I realize my viewpoint is unlikely to affect someone's reasons not dating a certain group of people. I would only state my viewpoint in a public forum like this or when someone asked for my advice.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 556
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/6/2015 5:04:36 PM

1. Being unfaithful: you either get over it or you don't, details won't provide relief.

Well, you would talk about it though, right? I would say the positive of not talking about it (mentioning it) would be to avoid disaster. As in -- don't tell the wife that you banged the babysitter if the babysitter's going to keep her mouth shut! :)

But once it's known -- yeah, I think they should talk about it. Some forms of cheating are more forgivable than others. Not all of it is simply banging the babysitter (although that's a common fantasy lol).

3. Mentioning the loss of a child to their mother, why the shanking?

You're right. Last time I was babysitting I lost one of the mother's children. I am NOT mentioning that ever again. Instead of me saying "Yeah, I don't know where Timmy is. I brought him back here from the park. I figured he just went to his room...", I mistakenly told her I lost him at the park. Boy was she mad! Ain't talking about what happened the next time it happens! :)

I think communication about a problem is a good thing. I think talking about it too much after it's hit a certain point is where it's run out of steam.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 557
view profile
History
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/6/2015 11:30:11 PM


2. Impending death: You are already dying (as are all of us), you don't need to acknowledge your own mortality daily, nor when having a terminal illness.


"On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on

[Chorus]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone"

Sometimes it's good to talk about death even when it's impending, it can be therapeutic for some.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 558
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/8/2015 6:13:22 AM

Well, you would talk about it though, right? I would say the positive of not talking about it (mentioning it) would be to avoid disaster. As in -- don't tell the wife that you banged the babysitter if the babysitter's going to keep her mouth shut! :)

But once it's known -- yeah, I think they should talk about it. Some forms of cheating are more forgivable than others. Not all of it is simply banging the babysitter (although that's a common fantasy lol).

Talking about something that won't change is futile, you either sincerely forgive someone for a moment of weakness or you walk out of the relationship. Sometimes you have to forgive people for your own sake, not theirs.


You're right. Last time I was babysitting I lost one of the mother's children. I am NOT mentioning that ever again. Instead of me saying "Yeah, I don't know where Timmy is. I brought him back here from the park. I figured he just went to his room...", I mistakenly told her I lost him at the park. Boy was she mad! Ain't talking about what happened the next time it happens! :)

I think communication about a problem is a good thing. I think talking about it too much after it's hit a certain point is where it's run out of steam.

You misunderstood, I'm speaking about parents who have had their children pass away. The death of a child is a lot more mournful than that of an adult. Parents feel sorrow for the life the child never got to live.

Talking about the passing of a child is never easy and I find it unnecessary.

I do grievance counseling and I don't find it helpful to talk about death, I find it helpful to talk about the good times sans their death, it is therapeutic improvement versus re-living the loss.


Sometimes it's good to talk about death even when it's impending, it can be therapeutic for some.

You may be right, it may be helpful to some.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 559
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 6/8/2015 10:09:58 AM

Name me one problem that get's better by not talking about ?


You may think the silence is an audience listening; however it's just an empty room.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 560
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History
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 8/26/2018 8:15:12 PM

"I like you but I am not attracted to your body type." I hear it all the time....white men think that if I weigh more than 90 pounds I am fat, and black men don't think I'm "thick" enough. Ah.....it is what it is.


The only men who've ever expressed a distaste in my body type to my face were either Black or Latino. "You are too skinny", "I like thick girls", etc. I might care more if I was into them but honestly, I'm not checking for Black or Latino guys. Sure, there are some who I find to be good-looking but I am more attracted to White and Asian men, who tend to not mind petite frames in my experience.

Re: The topic. I would never tell someone I didn't like their body type. WTF says that? I remember I fooled around with a super-skinny half White/Japanese guy last autumn with a stunning face (GREAT bone structure) but his body was not my thing. Hell, we could share pants and my waist is 25 inches. He was what I'd call a "butterbody". It was uncomfortable to do stuff because he was SO bony and skinny. For sexual reasons, I prefer some meat on the man's bones. In moderation of course.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 561
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 8/28/2018 9:27:07 AM
Find someone who likes you how you are
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 562
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 8/28/2018 10:50:08 AM
People who say they like you but don't like your body type,
don't like you.

Find someone who does like you.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 563
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What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 8/28/2018 11:40:51 AM
I've been told a couple times by guys that I'm kind and nice and have a great personality and am fun to be with but I'm just not what they are looking for physically.

I grew up with a guy who I really liked and we were friends since we were babies but every time he got a girlfriend I was dropped like a rock. I finally one day told him how I felt and he said sorry but though he liked me as a person, I just wasn't his type. I asked him who his type was and he told me "more girly girls" snd that I was "too much of a tomboy" then he quit talking to me and avoided me for the rest of high school.

My friend growing up was 5 feet 2 and the opposite in looks of me. She was short, skinny and blonde. I was skinny until about Grade 9 then I started developing a lot of curves and I was really tall with dark hair. There were many times guys I liked would go for her.

Then there was a guy when I was 18. We hung out together all the time, we both worked at a bar together and I thought we were really hitting it off. Then he made out with my friend at a party and I was upset, didn't talk to him the next day. I was at another party a couple nights later and had been drinking so my inhibitions were a little bit down and I asked him why he went for my friend and didn't he know I liked him? He said yes, he did know I liked him and gave me the whole speech saying I was one of his favourite people to hang out with but my looks just weren't his type, he was sorry but he liked blondes and I asked "Skinny blondes?" And the look he gave confirmed it.

The thing is, I look in the mirror now and I don't see someone who is horrible-looking. I think I actually look okay, especially when I smile. My body is on the overweight side but I do have curves in the right places. So I do think that I could be attractive to some men. But the guys that are into me I have no interest in. I've tried to not to discount the guys based on their looks but often the personalities don't click with me either. I have a physical type I'm attracted to too so I really have no reason to blame guys who in the past weren't attracted to my type.

I'm in a fwb situation at the moment and the guy does sleep with other women. I'm pretty much sure he's not really that into me physically or romantically but at the same time he is a good friend to me and has been there to talk to when I needed someone to talk to. And the sex is so good, I can't imagine ever having better sex. He's moving away soon though so after that point we will probably never see each other ever again. And I will never bring up my insecurities because I would hate for things to end abruptly because I fess up to feelings so I will just wait for things to end naturally when he moves, hopefully just be Facebook friends or something and eventually I can wean myself off of talking to him. But since I began with him I've felt a lot less lonely and alone so I'd rather the status quo than nothing at all.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 564
What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build
Posted: 8/28/2018 3:05:18 PM

n the me too era.. A guy making any sort of move is a now a life risk, as you have to ask for consent for literally everything. Even dating applications like Bumble have given the power to the women to make any sort of moves first to help further this... In short guys don't mind because it quickens things towards their end goal which is always, without fail, no matter what he tells you, SEX.


Until I was in my forties I was super skinny. In fact, I was the 00 who struggled to find clothes. But even with that MEN of all races liked me. Yes, a lot of black men thought I was too skinny but a lot of them didn't care. White men were more attracted to me when I was thinner but white American men didn't want a long-term relationship but they did want sex.
I have finally gotten a girly body. I still get men of all races interested in me except Asians.
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