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 Irisheyes00000
Joined: 12/6/2014
Msg: 51
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...Page 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

sounds like they're trying to be polite and impersonal.


There was nothing polite or impersonal about what he said to her. It was rude and very very personal. There was no need whatsoever to mention her body type as a problem. Unless Someone shows up for a date looking extremely different from their pictures or trying to pull themselves off as someone they are not, there's never a reason to get rude about what they look like. A simple 'I don't think we're going to be a match' would be fine. Or 'I am just not attracted to you'. And if they want more, then you can elaborate. But that should never be the first thing out of someone's mouth, and it is certainly not polite and impersonal.
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 52
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:07:29 AM
I agree with you, if you want someone that's in good shape than you should be as well. I went on a second date with a guy and he said that sit ups are great for the stomach and that kind of made feel me uncomfortable being said during eating dinner at a restaurant. The guys profile didn't indicate that he wanted a woman who was fit so I kind of felt hurt, although on the phone he mentioned he doesn't like women that are 50 + pounds big, which I am not. I truthfully may be 10 pounds overweight than I would like to be but I have a sit down job and have been putting in a lot of overtime. He did say after the date that he will call the next evening but I really don't know if I should continue to see him. He never tried to hold my hand or initiate a kiss on the second date. I am confused and really don't know what to do. His girlfriend passed away from cancer in July and 1 month late he's on this dating site, maybe he just wants to date me for therapy. He indicated that going out is like therapy for him. Any suggestions?


There are some men who have washboard abs who seek bbw's. So these individuals don't have that expectation of 'bring what I bring to the table'. I am average height at 5'6" but find men who are 5'2" tall super cute and do chase them. I don't expect them to be taller and am quite happy with their petite size.

Okay, in your profile you have you teenaged child as the main point of interest. Your main image should be of you alone. Regarding the sit up man, was his stomach tight? He obviously knew what your body type was on a the second date otherwise he wouldn't have gone out with you. I too wonder if a small handful of these men have hidden agendas where they are looking for a shoulder to cry on or someone to bounce ideas off of because nobody else will listen.

I think the sit up man was rude stating that sit ups are good for the stomach. Even 8 year old children know that. It's the message he is conveying that is not so polite and I hope you moved on or were okay with accepting him as a friend only. I was not okay accepting the man as a friend and he got quite upset asking,"Why can't women just be friends with me". He did want eye candy and no matter how much I work out I will never be that because of lack of facial symmetry.

P.S. Physical activity cures depression but crying into a pint of Haagen Daz makes it worse!
Does it look like I cry into a pint of Haagen Dazs? But I will admit I do look forward to my daily dose of frozen blueberry ripple Greek frozen yogurt.


She - (the OP)

Said to he - (the overweight person)

I said that a page prior, if you read her profile.


Where are you getting this from? I am not that insensitive and feel if things aren't gong to work out it's better to be soft about it. Who wants to give someone a complex? Not me. I don't want to be remembered that way. Thanks for the insinuation.

The reason my profile states I am no longer looking for slim/slender men is due to the fact most on here had issues with that so I changed it to 'not overweight' and added 'is that better folks?' for other forumites. I guess that wasn't made clear enough without spelling it out. Sorry about that.


PS- I mean this as a compliment- ur profile shows u as a quirkly little thing- don't u dare change urself or ur ad to attract some stuffed shirt who wants a P.C. b1tch- BE YOURSELF!
vvvvv
this young lady is a refreshing breath of air, more real than 80% of the folks in here IMO. So what if she is kissing a mammal, most of you EAT mammals! And her lil ditty about earwigs makes her ad unique & interesting!


Thank you. I am quirky and am glad finally someone read between the lines. Regarding that sweet blue bareback rat, I loved her so much. We had a mutual respect and had a bond like most dog owners have with their dogs. Rats are clean, intelligent, and can be trained to use a litter box. That little girl was my love and no amount of money could save her from what ailed her though I tried in vain. PS: I have seven more rats (dumbos, patchwork hairless, and standard earred). :)

 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 53
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:10:49 AM

There was nothing polite or impersonal about what he said to her. It was rude and very very personal.


She - (the OP)

Said to he - (the overweight guy)

OP: You're fat guy, get abs.
Guy: Aww im butthurt now.

She walks off
Guy waddles off

I said that a page prior, if you read her profile. Wonder if it will catch on.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 54
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:14:43 AM
Halcyon Skies:


And yet you have an average build---NOT a slender one. You should either become what you're seeking, or relax your expectations accordingly. If you can request someone slender, so can he. You have no room to complain.


After looking at your pictures I found it odd you're always saying a persons expectations shouldn't be too high and one should try to find their equal, yet your SO looks to be in his 70s or 80s, ( my apologies if it's your dad)...what if he had that mindset, and never pursued you because he thought you were too attractive, young, active?? People should be able too seek whatever they wanna seek!
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 55
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 9:31:23 AM
I took another look, and I was wrong. OP is slender, not average. Two of her pictures show this the best.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 56
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 12:47:51 PM
After looking at your pictures I found it odd you're always saying a persons expectations shouldn't be too high and one should try to find their equal, yet your SO looks to be in his 70s or 80s, ( my apologies if it's your dad).


My SO is 65 and I'll be 56 next month. He's not particularly photogenic, although that may be because he has gray hair and combs it straight back. He looks much younger in person, and no one who sees us together would ever mistake him for being in his 70s or 80s.

I'm surprised you're only 47---you look a good ten years older than that to me. You already have a slack jawline and a double chin. Your beard doesn't hide it. At age 65, my guy's jawline is way firmer than yours, so you're hardly in a position to be cutting him down. I shudder to think what you'll look like in 18 years.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 57
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 2:05:16 PM
OP, you are dodging a bullet. The creep who said that to you was dissing or "negging" you--trying to create a power dynamic where he comes out on top. You are supposed to feel bad about yourself and also you are supposed to look to him for affirmation of your worth as a person. NO ONE says something like that without having an agenda.

If you find yourself "trying" to make something work, it wasn't meant to be. This is different from gladly making the small compromises we all make for the sake of our loved ones--these don't seem like an effort, they don't feel like "trying." Be better to yourself and maybe take some time to consider why you didn't see this person as the creep he really is.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 58
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 2:54:15 PM
^^^nice sock puppet, but the syntax & grammar is way too telling. (I just glanced at ur posting history)

You have way too much time on ur hands...
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 59
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 3:12:26 PM
Sorry, BAngel, but to whom were you referring?
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 60
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:02:29 PM
Come on Halcyon, Forumfella may have poked you but everyone knows your guy looks a good 25 years older than Forumfella....I don't care how he combs his hair.

As to body type, find what you like and don't worry about what some putz says.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 61
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:10:03 PM
I am average as well, though becoming more and more addicted to yoga is changing things. But I don't like the gym rat types, and would honestly prefer an average guy myself. A bit of paunch and imperfection is attractive to me. Plus, I find someone so focused on their external appearance to be a MASSIVE turn off. I can usually tell those types before I have to meet them though.

That said.. many years ago, I dated a guy that I really liked. We were out walking once, and he said- "you sure take up a lot of room on the sidewalk, I'm not used to that". Wtf?! I dropped his hand and laughed hysterically! Like who says that?? It still makes me laugh to this day. He just said that he's used to dating really petit women, and didn't mean anything offensive by it.

He ended up finding someone else, and she fits his physical ideal. Brunette/petite, so be it. Well, I've no idea why, but for years he kept coming back. To talk, and see if I still had a thing I guess? Not entirely sure, but we still talk to this day. Often actually. And he ended up sharing with me that he realizes now that the physical type isn't as important as he once thought. That his views on attraction have changed/shifted/evolved, which was really interesting to hear about.

Anyway, I've kinda been there Op. I didn't mind not fitting his ideal, because in a way I could tell he struggled with it. And that was enough of a compliment to me, if that makes sense?

I may have missed where you've already said it, but are the two of you still dating?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 62
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:13:54 PM

Come on Halcyon, Forumfella may have poked you but everyone knows your guy looks a good 25 years older than Forumfella....I don't care how he combs his hair.


BM, I never claimed he looked younger than Forumfella. Obviously you have a reading comprehension problem. Read my post again a few times until it sinks in.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 63
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 6:38:36 PM
Oh come on. "...at age 65, my guys jawline is firmer than yours..." Oh please.

You have a nice looking partner, he fits you, you get along, he's your man...no need to defend. But hey, he looks old, so what. This isn't the first time someone has mentioned this and it's only done to pizz you off and it works. Maybe remove his picture and no one will pick on you, at least about him.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 64
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 7:18:25 PM
Oh come on. "...at age 65, my guys jawline is firmer than yours..." Oh please.


In reality, my guy is 18 years older than Forumfella, making him old enough to be Forumfella's father, so obviously he doesn't look younger than Forumfella. I do think Forumfella looks old for his age (47) and most likely he will look older than my guy does when he turns 65, judging from his jawline now.


You have a nice looking partner, he fits you, you get along, he's your man...no need to defend. But hey, he looks old, so what. This isn't the first time someone has mentioned this and it's only done to pizz you off and it works.


It's easy for you to claim he looks old when you don't show your own photos---however, I have a good memory, and I recall what you looked like from your previously posted photos. You're actually in your 60s, and you look older than he does. Why you'd keep attacking his looks is anyone's guess.


Maybe remove his picture and no one will pick on you, at least about him.


Tell ya what, Welshie. I'll remove his picture after you post yours. That seems like a pretty fair trade to me.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 65
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 7:22:26 PM

Come on Halcyon, Forumfella may have poked you but everyone knows your guy looks a good 25 years older than Forumfella....I don't care how he combs his hair.


BM, her man is 20 yrs older than FF. Personally, I think he looks fine so don't include me in "everyone". Why do you care so much? She's happy with him.

FF, I'm an old, fat broad and not offended by what HS says. Let's say I want a slim man. The reality is that it won't be easy. People, in general, wouldn't feel any qualms telling me that I would need to be able to offer what I'm seeking. Doesn't offend me. I live in reality and know that men tend to be more attracted to slim women. Yes, thank goodness, there are exceptions. We see them every day. It still doesn't change reality.

As for the OP, I think she can want whatever she wants. I also think she has a lovely build.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 66
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 7:39:30 PM
Oh ffs, my point was...by HS's logic, only good looking people should go after good looking people, but her guy obviously didn't follow those rules and went after her, regardless of the fact he looks a helluva lot older than her, and yet they're happy together..so if people want to have the patience to wait for what they want,(as joe and wolf said) let them
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 67
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 7:41:26 PM
I'm glad she's happy with her man. I think it's awesome she has someone to love and that loves her.

I'm pretty realistic too, I know any man I date or mate with will be grey haired, if he has hair, and will have wrinkles and maybe a bit of a tummy. I don't mind that, and I've never been attracted to skinny guys, I like an average sized guy or one with a little meat on his bones. I'm not a size 2 and never was but I'm happy to stay a size 8 and yes, I have wrinkles too. We all do at this age or Over 45. As to body type, we are going to run into people that don't find us attractive for whatever reason, so what.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 68
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:11:32 PM
Oh ffs, my point was...by HS's logic, only good looking people should go after good looking people, but her guy obviously didn't follow those rules and went after her, regardless of the fact he looks a helluva lot older than her


You're way off the mark, Forumfella. I consider him and myself to be about equal in the looks department. We're both average-looking people.

As I stated before, he's not very photogenic and looks younger in person than he does in his pics. Moreover, I was the one that went after him--not the other way around. I initiated contact with him, and asked him out first.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 69
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 8:17:13 PM
As much as I think HS is very ascerbic, I'm inclined to agree with her.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She find him attractive. Kudos and good for her.

If she is happy with his appearance, so be it and more power to her:)
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 70
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:20:46 PM
halcyon,
spot on about Blue Moon. If I remember she is an ageing biker kind of lady with red hair. No close up shots ever but likes to spend her time criticising every one else, especially about age, when she lies through her own teeth. No pics up and is supposedly looking for someone on POF. 50??? Oh yeah right.

However why do you have such a detailed profile up when you are not looking for anyone, show your current partner and have casual/no commitment stated? Just confused.

To be fair to Forumfella, I see much younger people with a bit of a slack chin and at 47 it is not uncommon and he looks normal for that age.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 71
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:30:08 PM
that you like slim shorter men of around 5'2" must really hearten some men and I must say is unusual. Do you like to mother them when you are 5'6"?? . For most of us, a guy shorter than we are, is a real dealbreaker and can make us feel uncomfortable.
If you want slim or slender then say so. Don't worry about flack from anyone else.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 72
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:59:18 PM
Petula, you don't have a picture up anymore either. And you lie about your age as well....by more than 10 years. At least I admit it. And didn't you admit to a guy giving you herpes at one time as well? If you want to drag up old stuff, we can all remember many past posts and many past profiles. Actually, you've had far more profiles than I . So, keep them coming. So don't rag on about me when you are just as guilty. And confused, you're always confused.

As stated, I'm happy that Halcyon has a man she loves and who loves her. I'm happy Angel has a man. I'm happy for all the folks that have found someone to love and who loves them. We all came here looking for someone to love and some of have decided to look elsewhere or just move on with a full life and let whatever happens happen.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 73
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/27/2014 11:07:42 PM
However why do you have such a detailed profile up when you are not looking for anyone, show your current partner and have casual/no commitment stated? Just confused.


Petula, since I prefer to see whom I'm talking to in the forums, I think it's only fair that others be allowed to do the same. For intent, when I selected "isn't seeking a relationship or any type of commitment" from the drop-down menu, it showed up in my profile as "casual dating/no commitment" even though I'm spoken for and am not interested in dating anyone.


To be fair to Forumfella, I see much younger people with a bit of a slack chin and at 47 it is not uncommon and he looks normal for that age.


Actually, it's not common in people of his age that have always been slim. I mainly see it in overweight individuals and those that have lost a lot of weight.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 75
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/28/2014 5:41:29 AM
We seem to be all caught up on the actual wording of the rejection instead of just understanding it was a rejection.

As simple as it gets. Don't matter the "reasons" they give for an action but, the action itself. When you see their backsides walking away, doesn't it really matter the reasons why?
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 76
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/28/2014 5:47:27 AM
So let me get this straight. He walks upright and a male and you actually care what he thinks? I know I'm getting older when I see younger chicks that put up with crap. Does he have a golden magical p-his that we should all be love with?
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