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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "I like you but am not attracted to your body type..."      Home login  
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 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 102
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...Page 5 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

When I see women who hides behind baggy clothes and is afraid of her feminine beauty what's really hiding isn't a body but a negative inside self image.


Yeah my ex of 5 years had that problem, she was born in Egypt so that wasn't good, but moved to the UK after 6. Then getting made fun of and whatnot in school for being really tan. That was what caused the insecurity and the fear to mount a defense like that. But she was absolutely beautiful.

I mean really the perfect body - hourglass shape naturally 34 D. I always felt so bad for her, I tried hard to make her feel comfortable, but she had that wall up, secure and fortified. Haha, I mean if she knew what I was worth in actuality, she would have known

I had the better deal...

Personally im more attracted to mind than body after the initial ok of it. I am on my way to better physical shape every day. As long as I am attracted that's all I care about, and average, athletic, busty, slender all are fine really.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 103
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/28/2014 8:35:33 PM

So what is a person to do when they hear this especially if two people get along well, find each other facially attractive, but one states they are not attracted to the other's body type?

If they are saying they aren't attracted to your body, as opposed to some in-depth discussion about girls/guys/attraction they mention their ideal body type which is not yours (big difference) -- then they're not attracted to you. At Best, they just lack Enough attraction, but have enough mild attraction to say, be FWB or something -- but nothing serious.

Does the person work out, tone up and loose weight to make it work or do they stay the way they are and hope somebody else will come along who accepts them?

If this question arises from your own personal situations -- you're not in position to have to work out, really. You have a flat chest -- and maybe a flat arse, which I could see being not a guy's taste. If your butt is too small & flat, you could do some butt exercises I guess -- but you're not going to get it done in time for That guy who just mentioned it to ya. Should you get a boob job? Well, maybe your pics (and IRL) by your clothing/style make you look flatter than you really are, and you just need to enhance it visually like many women. But, if you are really flat, sure -- a boob job could be an option if you're not poor. But again, that's not going to be resolved for That guy who just mentioned it to ya.

Another thing could be Staunch stretch marks on a gal. Nothing you can really do there, unless (I'm assuming) one's rich. It is going to knock a gal's attraction level down. Some guys don't care that much, some guys do a lot. Varies.

For fat girls, it's the working out thing. "Investment Property", basically. A friend of mine had one of those -- it worked out for him. A dazzling pretty face, but she was about 150lbs overweight (no exaggeration). She was tall and had broad shoulders you could see the potential. It worked out for him a year later after she lost about 125-150 pounds... but she became HOT as hell, and, well, decided to get porked other hotter guys (understandably).

Yes, for overweight women -- many times they don't have to be "fat" per se. In our overweight nation where we blame everything else except our choices & diet -- "fat" would mean a lot. But for overweight women, many times it doesn't take being the American version of "fat" to degrade her looks. It will get into the face usually to make her facial looks less appealing... and it will also much of the time give her a worse Shape.

It's best to get in shape to be attractive (and for obviously other positive benefits) for yourself and to others in general -- not to chase a particular boy. A particular boy rejecting you can be used as Motivation, sure. But it's GOOD to hear why they reject you. Way better than BS trying-to-be-nice responses.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 104
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 12:33:10 AM
but no he says 'you have a very nice (...)'. Sheesh....


Was he referring to your backside (bum)? ??
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 105
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 1:45:33 AM
I like earwigs. I always save them and put them outside when I find them.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 106
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 4:18:09 AM
Don't take the above criticisms above seriously considering the sources. Someone either accepts you "as is" or should move on. By the way about 3% of the population has a perfect body and they are called models. The others are believing they are perfect. If he calls you ever again insult him about one of his body failings to bring down his big fat ego because I can guarantee you he isn't all that and should be put in its place.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 107
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 5:35:26 AM
While Jesse & Hal make excellent points, IMO the OP has a natural, earthy, quirky beauty/personality.

I'm generally very pro makeup etc. (the things Jesse suggested) but in this case, no. The OP wants to attract one guy who will love the rat she kisses & get her curious way of thinking.

That type of man will be quirky himself & won't be attracted to the traditionally groomed little black dress chick.

IMO she's a younger version of our Volcano King, sort of & she needs to attract a man who goes for her type.

There are dating sites for (no offense) nerds, animal lover, vegans/vegetarians, hi IQ folks, etc.

I think OP would do way way way better on that type of site.


I do think the guy who made those comments to her was kinda rude, he should have said it was nice to meet you but we are not a match.

I disagree w/ hotdog shop's statement "By the way about 3% of the population has a perfect body and they are called models."

There is no such thing as a perfect body, there are many threads about height & weight, bla bla bla, being healthy, aesthetics, u name it. And many models have some sort of figure or facial flaw that they either "fix" or "flaunt" (does anyone recall Lauren Hutton's teeth?)

No matter how much I ever dieted or exercised, I would never look a certain way, aside from age, body type is what I was born with, but that being said, even meaty (or some may say flabby/out of shape, whatever, I am so past that) women have men who admire their body types & are disgusted by the average model today.

I still say OP should be herself & attract into her life that one guy who is turned on by her- AS IS for her mind & appearance :0)
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 108
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 6:32:09 AM
She says she does not want an over weight man, but what does that mean exactly? It is kinda vague. I think that blond has the gist of it, she should find someone who would love her for being her, but at the same time, she could find someone to love because they are who they are too. It goes both ways, people.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 109
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 7:38:14 AM
This is for the people who don't get this females requirement for weight. She may be 10-15 lbs overweight tops. Her experience has been that men who respond to her have a distorted view of their bodies, thinking they only have a 10 lbs overweight problem but in reality they have 50 extra pounds with a beer gut that is repulsive. She would not be attracted to that nightmare so she believes putting slender preferred would at least get men answering her profile anywhere near a healthy weight. Women don't get turned on by punjabs when they are not punjabs themself.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 110
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 7:50:24 AM
I couldn't be with such person. If they are with me, and say that, and still want more, then they are emotionally manipulative. These are the type of people that always find flaws with the other person. There's always something wrong, to which then they can create a exit strategy, or use and manipulate more.

If I meet someone that I am not physically attracted with, I simply do not escalate and I do not go there. To do that, would be cruel.
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 111
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 8:42:04 AM
If this question arises from your own personal situations -- you're not in position to have to work out, really. You have a flat chest -- and maybe a flat arse, which I could see being not a guy's taste. If your butt is too small & flat, you could do some butt exercises I guess -- but you're not going to get it done in time for That guy who just mentioned it to ya. Should you get a boob job? Well, maybe your pics (and IRL) by your clothing/style make you look flatter than you really are, and you just need to enhance it visually like many women. But, if you are really flat, sure -- a boob job could be an option if you're not poor. But again, that's not going to be resolved for That guy who just mentioned it to ya.


Flat chest is right but I am not ashamed of it nor do I feel I have to enhance what's there. I present myself to the world the way I am and cannot imagine having a foreign object placed in my body to attract men along with some scar that wasn't from a necessary incision. I also have no problem being different from fuller chested women. IMO if we all looked the same, the world would be a boring place.


Another thing could be Staunch stretch marks on a gal. Nothing you can really do there, unless (I'm assuming) one's rich. It is going to knock a gal's attraction level down. Some guys don't care that much, some guys do a lot. Varies.


I escaped these as did my mother and sister and we've all had two children. No stretch marks here - not even one. I think stretch marks happen to a small percentage of women, not the other way around. What's interesting though is even though I've had two kids, my waistline looks smaller than yours. I think having kids increases a woman's waist in some cases, but what is a man's excuse?

@Blondeangel: Thank you for seeing me how I am and reading between the lines.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 112
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 8:49:21 AM

This is for the people who don't get this females requirement for weight. She may be 10-15 lbs overweight tops. Her experience has been that men who respond to her have a distorted view of their bodies, thinking they only have a 10 lbs overweight problem but in reality they have 50 extra pounds with a beer gut that is repulsive. She would not be attracted to that nightmare so she believes putting slender preferred would at least get men answering her profile anywhere near a healthy weight. Women don't get turned on by punjabs when they are not punjabs themself.


In case you haven't noticed, the OP did change her profile from:


What I am looking for is a man who has a slim/slender build


to:


Seeking a man whom is not overweight


There's a big difference in the two, IMO. While the OP is NOT overweight, she's not slim/slender, either. In her first example she came across as a hypocrite by expecting men to have a body type she didn't offer them in return. In the second example, she is offering them the same body type as what she expects. This should help the OP eliminate any further misunderstandings.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 113
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 9:04:10 AM
OMG...Have you all lost your marbles....shaming this girl about her body image?
The OP....is slim/slender build.... in my opinion...I don't want to start a battle on here with a few of you women but she definitely looks as thin if not thinner than "you"..
I don't care if you are 50 pounds over weight...If this bf says he's not attracted to you....say seeya!
Never let anyone treat you bad or make you feel less because they are morons...
Remember.....True love accepts you as you are and doesn't insult you or pick on you.
Good Luck!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 114
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 9:20:48 AM
"boob job?" Aw yes, that was a helpful suggestion. If only more men would get penis implants.
sheesh..
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 115
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 9:51:37 AM
^^ fire and Ice

No, true love does not accept you as you are. I am not a robot but love a man for a reason. I don't accept smoking, drugs or him being abusive, disrespectful...for poor hygiene or being a fat slob. Millions of people have been madly in love only to one day fall out of love...nothing abnormal about it.

This is different from expressing one's opinion to a non partner. Most of us have the social skills to be cordial and politely express that we are not a match. No need to give the 'why'. We just wish them the best and move in in life.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 116
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 9:53:14 AM
OP, I think you should look for animal/rodent lover groups, & all kinds of quirky things, ? mensa? I am assuming u have a Hi IQ...

go to entomology exhibits/clubs/forums, any of the unusual things that interest you, even if an online forums. Even hang out w/ vetenarians, etc.

I agree w/ Fire & Ice, I can't grasp anyone in this thread hinting u have too much weight etc. I think the boob comment was a joke. Your breasts match ur body type.

All kinds of men like all kinds of body types, I wouldn't worry about that

I'd scour meetup groups too for ur interests even if u have to travel a bit.

Give ur rat an xtra kiss from me & tell her/him my 8 cats say hello, LoL.

I once had a cat who was friendly & kind to our hamster, they used to sit next to eachother...
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 117
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 10:01:57 AM
Maybe the OP could find a rat pack with which to hang out.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 118
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 10:18:03 AM
I present myself to the world the way I am

That's certainly not the attitude you showed in the initial post. You asked if one should work out to look better for someone else, when what that person said was correct and also crushing to hear. You don't really have to do that as far as working out's concerned, unless the guy's a big gym freak. The only other exception would be having too flat of an ass, and working that out to give it more umph for those who are ass-men, when the rest of the body is lanky/flat in coordination to that -- that's about the only "exercise" that would really apply. In a nutshell, you're not in any "need for exercise" to make any staunch differences in positive looks, is my point.

along with some scar that wasn't from a necessary incision

Actually, it's not the 90s anymore. They can look Really good and incredibly hard to tell. I know flatter women would like to believe they're bad and would Not want them to be good (let's just be honest) -- but they certainly can be Amazingly better now. And many times not massively Huge either. But that's a whole other discussion.

No stretch marks here - not even one.

That's good. Was just throwing that out there as "body type" where exercise wouldn't be anything ya could do (and not so cheap & feasible to fix like a boob job).

I think having kids increases a woman's waist in some cases, but what is a man's excuse?

Excuse for what? Not being attracted to a gal who's hormones/chemical changed after having a kid, where it's easier to be more chubby while still loving her (calorie hefty, not so healthy) "home cooked meals"? That's not an excuse for a gal -- except maybe taking more time VS another gal due to more adjustments to get back in shape. Neither man nor a woman have an excuse over time.

Almost always the "I'm attracted to your face, but not attracted to your body" = she's fat, but she still maintains a decently attractive face. Said woman hearing that brutal honesty shouldn't continue to see him hoping for any Relationship or anything. She shouldn't get in shape for HIM, but maybe as an alarm to get in shape for herself -- in which many of her interests are going to be good-catch guys.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 119
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 10:26:35 AM
I remember reading some fellow's whine last week about, "why can't people be honest and up front about why they don't want me?" And here's 5 pages of attitude, opinions, reflections of organ length and boob size...sometimes honesty is overrated, if I heard this many people tell me exactly what was wrong with me, I might actually believe it :)
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 120
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 11:14:39 AM

No, true love does not accept you as you are. I am not a robot but love a man for a reason. I don't accept smoking, drugs or him being abusive, disrespectful...for poor hygiene or being a fat slob. Millions of people have been madly in love only to one day fall out of love...nothing abnormal about it

Sooooo...I guess that proves my statement then...
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 121
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 12:07:39 PM

I think the boob comment was a joke.


I don’t think so. There were other insulting suggestions in that post but alas, none could be done in time to please the d!ck not attracted to OP’s body type. If all that crap was meant as a joke, it was not funny and in very poor taste.


Actually, it's not the 90s anymore. They can look Really good and incredibly hard to tell. I know flatter women would like to believe they're bad and would Not want them to be good (let's just be honest) -- but they certainly can be Amazingly better now.


Why do “flatter” women like to believe they’re bad and not want them to be good…since we’re being “honest” here? Not want them to be good? WTF? Why…because if we believed they were good we’d all have to rush right out and get some for pig men who care about nothing but the way our tits look? SMH

You’re not a doctor, are you? A plastic surgeon? A nurse? A candystriper? Have you had the surgery yourself? You know any kind of surgery can be potentially dangerous, no matter what decade it is. Implants can leak and become infected, some women have allergies, some surgeries are done incorrectly, etc. I just recently saw an episode of “Monsters Inside Me,” where the woman’s breast implants almost killed her. Please refrain from throwing around such asinine “advice” so blithely.

OP you’re smart, I agree with you totally about inserting foreign material in your body. There is no need to go to ridiculous lengths to try to please guys you don’t want to have anything to do with anyway. Most women do not have that pathetic desperation so many men seem to. Any guy who has a problem with YOUR BODY can go drop dead.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 122
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 12:36:27 PM
^^ new girl crush
Maybe the men suggesting the surgery could post a picture of them in a thong .. btw, I have read that botox can tighten the boys
Easy to see why some people are single - I swear
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 123
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 8:34:23 PM

Maybe the men suggesting the surgery could post a picture of them in a thong .. btw, I have read that botox can tighten the boys


Yes, I've heard of scrotal botox. I think Clooney is a pioneer:

http://heavy.com/news/2013/06/george-clooneys-balls-are-leading-the-scrotum-tightening-movement/
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 124
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 8:57:57 PM
WTF!? Kinda makes ya wonder how loose those suckers are to warrent a needle filled with a poison being inserted into your nut sack.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 125
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 10:32:21 PM
There were other insulting suggestions in that post but alas, none could be done in time to please the d!ck not attracted to OP’s body type.

Insulting how? By her OP, she was saying that it's crushing being told by a guy that he's not attracted to her body type. Thus, she was clearly insinuating what should She do if that happens? Work out, etc? She was applying it to herself -- or in the very least asking it to be applied to herself as an example by her insinuation. Thus, me pointing out that no, she doesn't need to work out (unless she had a flat ass, which I guess a bit could do but that probably wouldn't be the problem anyway) -- and that as far as body type's concerned, if there was some stretch marks, yeah, one's SOL on that one without a lot of cash... and that if she is very flat chested in reality, a boob job could be in order to enhance it (but it's not going to solve it for HIM).

How is that any more offensive than saying "Yeah, you could work out for a while as you're overweight, but it's not going to solve it for Him"? She's asking the question about body type! One isn't supposed to point out where they're fine and where they could use improvement? Her question was "Should one improve?" Again, she's asking about it. It's not insulting to respond about what a woman can do to improve her body when the question is about potentially improving her body.

Why do “flatter” women like to believe they’re bad and not want them to be good…since we’re being “honest” here?

Because of hissing responses like this, which is even worse...

You know any kind of surgery can be potentially dangerous, no matter what decade it is. Implants can leak and become infected, some women have allergies, some surgeries are done incorrectly, etc. I just recently saw an episode of “Monsters Inside Me,” where the woman’s breast implants almost killed her. Please refrain from throwing around such asinine “advice” so blithely.

There are a lot of boob jobs that are Bad. Cheapo really bad quality ones, of course. The point wasn't about safety (even though its a lot better than it used to be). It's the Look. They don't have scars. That's what I was responding to. With a quality one that doesn't need to be done in Hollywood -- you're not going to deal with scars. Many people without "oh, she's got fake t!ts" have them. A woman going from the chest of a 10 year old boy to B Cup makes her more attractive. The topic's about body attractiveness and questioning about what a woman can/should do if/when a guy tells her that's the (sole) reason. My response? Good boob jobs aren't uber-expensive anymore and they do them differently where no, they'll be very hard to notice. And yes, I've seen more than my fair share of quality ones first hand. Have you?

Again, it's a positive thing one can do if they're explicitly flat chested and they're worried about guys not being attracted to their body-type (see OP). If they have money, they could possibly do something about strong stretch-mark damage if they're worried about guys not being attracted to their body-type. How is it insulting to point that out? It's not like I changed the subject to body-type and guys rejecting them on it and what's-a-girl-to-do! That's the Original Post! :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 126
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I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 12/29/2014 10:48:14 PM
I have read that botox can tighten the boys.


Mine are not hanging at all. It could be because I've always worn briefs and not boxers.


vvvvv Welcome back to the cesspool Karma.
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