Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "I like you but am not attracted to your body type..."      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 176
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...Page 8 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

When I am lean and healthy looking ... I attract men who want me for all the wrong reasons..

Nice guys are oftentimes intimidated by women who look like you, so at that point, you may need to be more ASSERTIVE!

Congrats on ur weight loss & yes as we get older...for many of us we do 2x the work for 1/2 the results!

Happy New Year, enjoy & love the body u r in, we only have one & we all have to take care of ours!

Love how OP is using the rat pic- it is adorbs- OP I think after Valentines Day, things will pick up!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 177
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 8:06:03 AM

The female athletes with the leanest, densest muscle look more masculine, though they can still have some feminine qualities (like Venus Williams).

There's a fitness model who's from the area I grew up with - she did some bartending so we worked together a while by the name of Nicole Costa (you can google her, she's fairly famous in that field). Beautiful girl, who to me is extremely feminine and very fit - but during WBFF bodybuilding competitions can look a lot more masculine (for a model) - that would be dependent on her training and diet before competition. Then poof - she can look much softer for bikini or fitness portfolio.

I consider her a better example of lean dense muscle but still very much feminine looking. Venus has looked a lot like a man to me at times...

Bottom line is we are healthy of course - and happy with who we are first. The only time I'd want to change for someone else is if I wanted to improve something and they supported the improvement - still it would have to be my wanting it to happen that would be the primary motivation.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 178
view profile
History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 10:51:08 AM
It's all but impossible to change one's body type other than possibly lose or gain some weight. One can certainly not change his/her pheromones.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 179
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 11:52:17 AM
When I was in my 20s, I was skinny and had no curves. Body type wise, I resembled Twiggy. I was flat chested and just a stick. Never exercised back then, just walked a lot. I was a s0-called skinny fat. Then when I had my first child at 30, I grew some breasts, and my hips became a little wider. After my second child at age 37, I really got the curves - butt, hips, breasts, fuller thighs. And that shape has gotten me by far the most attention from the opposite sex. I keep those curves tight and firm by lifting weights and other exercises. I want to be in shape, even with curves, not flabby. I will never be a stick again even if I tried, because my hip bones are just much wider than they were before I had kids. Also, people never believe me how heavy I am. I wear a size 4 in pants and still buy clothes in the junior department, but I'm HEAVY. I'm around 140 lbs at 5'4". There, I outed my weight.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 180
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 11:56:56 AM

What possessed me to ask him was when he shared that women on facebook were showing signs of jealousy, blah, blah and it occurred to me that I had been friend zoned. If someone has romantic interest in someone else, they wouldn't share this information.

I don't think that Friend-Zones people. He could be creating distance. Or a "neg hit" (make a girl want you more by being friendly-critical). If you're not chasing To go out with him, but he's wanting to meet up with you, even with him saying that -- no, he's probably not looking for a new friend... but maybe just a FWB. Think of it another way: What if the gal in your position had kids, and he has none -- and you notice that he talks about other gals -- and you ask him how he sees you, and he says "Well, you do have kids of [this-age], and I like you, but that's not my style, ya know?" = I'd bang you, I like you, but not for a Relationship -- you're not my Type for that. Now, as you described him, he's aloof, much like those who love rats & earwigs (lol) -- so you can't nail it down Exactly what he's thinking.

I would have followed that up, if I was in your position, with "So you mean you Just want to be friends... as in purely platonic? Or that I'm not your ideal type, therefore wanting to set the tone that you just don't want things to progress toward a Relationship?" Especially since you said you don't use dating sites to find new friends -- I'm kinda surprised you didn't ask a clarification question when he said that! After all, he hit you up on a DATING site, and wanted to see you more than once!

But going back to the "toned" thing -- don't get caught up with it or take it as a "hit". All toned means is lean meat -- as in no flab or fat, especially when it comes to a gal. You're thin from your pictures. Although maybe not Optimally "toned", it's not enough for a difference of Type. He wasn't being very accurate, so don't take That as a hit. It was just his way of saying "I'm not all That attracted to you." And you not asking a follow-up on That part too is a bit surprising. If people can talk about conspiracy theories & ear-wigs, surely clarification questions on what-they-mean on some important statements should be No Problem! :)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 181
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 12:27:32 PM

I wear a size 4 in pants and still buy clothes in the junior department, but I'm HEAVY. I'm around 140 lbs at 5'4". There, I outed my weight.

You can be a tiny thing and weigh a lot if you have a decent amount of muscle mass. Then people bigger than you with no muscle mass can be 10-15lbs lighter. That's why they say never go by the scale number so much as the way your clothes fit you as you change your diet and add exercise. A lot of the time you become thinner in inches but either maintain or gain weight.

At 5'4" you must have a LOT of good muscle mass. And the cool thing is all that muscle just burns fat consistently so long as you continue to build it.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 182
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 12:37:24 PM

Nice guys are oftentimes intimidated by women who look like you, so at that point, you may need to be more ASSERTIVE!


Be careful with how you assert in regard to the nice guy, assertion could cause their fragile psyche traumatic and getting the nice guy out of the fetal position requires typically hot chocolate, cookies, and (insert effeminate object) to finish the joke, got lazy sorry.


I consider lean muscle the most masculine type.


Lean muscle is low weight high volume, it isn't the same as getting ripped or cutting. Which might be the confusion here. Lean muscle, provides definition, without much strength. Bulk or cut provides strength muscle, with varied levels of bodyfat percentage.

Barry Bonds lean? No, bulk muscle or ripped would be the right application of muscle type with regard intensity/frequency.

No guy goes to the gym thinking, yeah I want that lean look. They go in thinking, I want bulk muscle, and then usually cut down if they stuck out the process long enough.

But ive worked out for most my adult life outside of serious injury and phys rehab
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 183
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 3:19:12 PM
WomanInProgress, I know, but I've been so brainwashed into thinking that if I weigh more than 125 lb at my height, I'm fat and too heavy, and my BMI is at the upper end of normal. I try to ignore the scale, but I do get frustrated when I'm in the 140 range. I also gain several pounds right after a workout session, because the stressed muscles retain water. I should get rid of my scale and just go by what I look like in the mirror and how my clothes fit.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 184
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 7:38:14 PM
BMI is a horribly inaccurate method of determining anything without being subject to a great degree of error. First, BMI only accounts for one type of bodytype. Meaning busty type women, or short stocky men don't translate any useful information.

BMI also doesn't account for the weight of muscle, I have been overweight for having too much muscle (not by a great degree) when I purposely built myself around specific agenda.

Really the best method is taping to assess bodyfat percentage. Otherwise as far as the BMI is concerned. its generally somewhat accurate. And hasn't been updated since whenever it was created, so it isn't relative to, todays bodytypes as opposed to older generation bodytypes.

Soldiers today weight a lot more individually, than they did in WW2. And BMI is only a sensory way of depicting health concerns with weight.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 185
view profile
History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/1/2015 7:43:03 PM
Karma...Obviously you're carrying some muscle mass cause I had guessed you at 125. The waist/hip ratio is what is catching the guys attention. What the mirror says and how your clothes fit matters more than the scale as long as your clothing size hasn't increased dramatically. Keep up the good work.

I don't believe in the BMI either as I'm around 29.8 on that. That's at the absolute upper end of overweight. Currently, I'm 5'7" and 190 lbs. with a 46" chest, 34" waist, 17" biceps, and 25" thighs.

I was still overweight on the BMI even in my best shape at 170 lbs and the height/weight charts say the same thing. A skinny fat person would register closer to normal.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 186
view profile
History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:38:01 PM
"I like you but I am not attracted to your body type." I hear it all the time....white men think that if I weigh more than 90 pounds I am fat, and black men don't think I'm "thick" enough. Ah.....it is what it is.
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 187
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:00:11 PM

"I like you but I am not attracted to your body type." I hear it all the time....white men think that if I weigh more than 90 pounds I am fat, and black men don't think I'm "thick" enough. Ah.....it is what it is.

I went on dates with a couple of different middle eastern men and they told me I was too thin which really surprised me. You're right, it is what it is. There is a saying that says, "I am not here to decorate your world," which can be perceived in many ways.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 188
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:23:08 PM
None of us have objectives to decorate anyones world. Valid point,op. Heck I know a guy that only dates the "bbw" type. Goes to show guys are as human as women are. Funny how we get labled as so visual and only want slender women.

I won't name names but a certain female poster in this thread has the picky obsession in a guys looks, age and body. So based on that observation, I think it's women that are the more visual gender.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 189
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:29:24 PM
blueguy, pretty sure you are talking about me, so go ahead and say my name. Yes, you bet I'm picky about looks. Guys have been picky about looks, age, breast size for eons, so why not apply the same standards to them? And welcome to how women have been objectified since FOREVER.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 190
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:40:14 PM
I see we have an annoying feminist here. Get off ur high horse. The whole women have been objectified for years is bull. It's women that makes themselves feel that way. Did you read what wrote about the guy I know and who he dates?

I think ur bitter and jaded. You were married at one point with kids and ur ex left u for a younger woman. So, this is all about revenge. Plain and simple.

You give speeches to women of how they need to be obsessed with men's looks. But I think u need help. 😷

Do what you have to do with ur life, I could careless. But do note many quality guys avoid picky and materlistic women. I wouldn't want a woman who is only with me for my physical appearance. Not right.

Hope one day you'll be a happier person. But only you decide that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 191
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:43:03 PM
^^^Karma, you fed the troll. You know that's just going to keep him from going away.

Oh look, I was right.

I don't know any man who wants to date or sleep with a woman he's not interested in actualy looking at. When it goes in the opposite direction though, holy crap - now it's a problem. It's always harder for the one who's not making the choice. I want to be attractive to the guy I'm dating, I'd much rather be single then with someone who's so so about me.

I suppose the guys who whine about having to be good looking would be OK with someone dating them to kill time or out of pity or boredom or because they are getting something from the guy - why else would a woman date a man she's not attracted to?

They'll get over it. We did.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 192
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:57:00 PM
Uh oh! The feminist police is here, take cover guys!!!! Karmas partner in crime has arrived.

Women in progress, your the one starting up with me. Now shoo old timer lol. And you got some spots on ur face. Ever thought about getting that looked at?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 193
view profile
History
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:10:16 PM

blueguy, pretty sure you are talking about me, so go ahead and say my name. Yes, you bet I'm picky about looks. Guys have been picky about looks, age, breast size for eons, so why not apply the same standards to them? And welcome to how women have been objectified since FOREVER.


Women and men have been "objectified" since humans have existed. Women will always have more social value though. The human race only survived because men are biologically programmed to reproduce with attractive females and women's instincts lead them to men that help them and their offspring survive and thrive. There's no reason not to be picky about looks if you're looking to settle down with someone. You shouldn't be unrealstic, but you shouldn't settle for a slob.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 194
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:19:43 PM
Attraction is important, I get it. I really do. But I'm just seeing a trend on here from women saying they will only date guys with model looks. That to me is unrealistic especially if ur in the hunt for someone younger than u. I've fell in love with a woman who is cute looks wise. See this is why people are still single from this day on is because they are so looks obsessed. It's either all or nothing women have these days. Just shallow.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 195
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:23:41 PM
Actually blueguy, I left my husband, he didn't leave me. He's on here on POF too, and he will not date younger women. He specifically states no one under 40. Here goes your theory. But it's the typical response from men who can't fathom that women have standards.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 196
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:37:18 PM
Lol. Oh please. Everyone has standards. Nice try with the cheap shot there karma. U probably left him cause he's not the model u want.
I think everyone should have standards you don't know me. I can't belive ur still trying trying to debate with me on this ridiculous subject. Most people just give up and go away. In fact, I really like it if u did went away.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 197
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:48:25 PM

I think everyone should have standards


Do you know how easy it is to argue the affirmation of standards as being relevant?

What is more plausible:

Men and women will date and be with the opposite sex for any reason, because standards don't exist.
or
Men and women will date and be with the opposite sex, for reasons that specifically appease them, as observed every time in reality.

Everyone has standards, even people you think shouldn't, have, by simply refusing to accept anyone as though standards were not relevant
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 198
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 7:00:22 PM
Aww, but the poor guy is trying so hard to be relevant to topic.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 199
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 7:58:45 PM

There's no reason not to be picky about looks if you're looking to settle down with someone. You shouldn't be unrealstic, but you shouldn't settle for a slob.

Even if you're not looking to settle down with someone this is true. If I'm not attracted to a guy, I'll happily stay single - but then again I don't think being single is the end of the world like some do, so in my case it's fine.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 200
I like you but am not attracted to your body type...
Posted: 1/2/2015 8:54:09 PM
Lots of singles enjoying non-monogamity. Bravo.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "I like you but am not attracted to your body type..."