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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you dec      Home login  
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 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 26
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I'm sure a good number of women come straight to this site out of long marriages and are in a spot. Having them run across the wolf pack straight away would not be very fair to them. I would think it be in the site's best interest to have some form of coaching in place to set an awareness to certain practices that they have to have knowledge of by this point. It's what they are in the business of. I would think it wouldn't need to be much, maybe at least a mention of useful articles, or even a tasteful informational video much like their coaching videos for profile creation.

I've never even heard of Skype as an option on here. No one has brought it up. But I don't see how that would alleviate this problem, it's still real people, they are just multi-dating and telling women they are looking for relationships to lead them on and take advantage.

So far the ladies on the attack above were on the wrong track, I was complaining about the men not about the ladies. But it seemed they were poise to assault to begin with. I learned my lesson on that one, and will most likely not be posting much as a result. I was simply stating my personal disposition to make it clear I understood boundaries and issues, not as a complaining or 'whine' about responsiveness that you guys are used to seeing.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 27
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/30/2014 11:13:41 PM
Yeah Skype is a good way to figure out if they are who they say they are. I took my photos with a webcam, and it works good as a less awkward way of meeting for the first time. If the option is available that is.

I don't know if there is any way to implement any course of action that could ever weed out profiles like that.

Use best judgment, try to message newer users.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 28
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/30/2014 11:31:05 PM
Another beta male whining about why do the bad boys get the girls and us average good guys get nothing.

Just like men, women want excitement. They love good looking men. LOVE THEM. Just like men love good looking women. People want to f@ck good looking people.

Sometimes people get what they want, sometimes they get screwed over. Bad choices are made, spur of the moment choices are made...fantastic orgasms are had, and later, sometimes tears fall.

And, sometimes you score. True love. Yay.

Such is life.

What I'd like to know is why why why do men especially sit around grousing about this unchangeable aspect of human nature? Simply as an opportunity to p@ss on women? Because it tears them up inside to think about women getting screwed over by someone else...or...just getting screwed by someone else?

Is any of this your business, really? Who gives a crap what is going on. The only thing you can control is yourself and your reactions. You're never going to solve this particular dilemma. Not ever.

Geez. The endless bagging on women and who they choose to f@ck.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 29
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Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 12:47:04 AM
^^^VK sounds pissed off...
thats a first! Usually she is mellow.
Honestly, I couldn't read OPs initial post.
wall o' text crit me for 99999 dmg.
But I think I got the gist of it from the other posters.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 30
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 2:01:05 AM
I think its the same thing, users join the website and are hit with a bunch of potential. Thinking that all the users are legitimate, which isn't the case. Not realizing that if enough time is spent, you start to notice that people come and go, but there are people who always stay. A lot of the times they are very attractive, but they don't go away.

Could be adoration they are after, could be they established some type of situation they could leech from. Could be that they are liars and live vicariously through images. Its not that far fetched to think this type of deceit happens regularly. Not that many people are truly honest, by way of either physical appearance or life achievements. And honesty it is a hard standard to abide to when there seems to be a deficit in access to women for men. Or at least that the competition seems to be some mysterious 6' tall guy who looks like Thor and is progressively having sex with all the local women on POF. But that is more of a paranoid type of concept than one that could with any recurrence rate be observed. There may be players, but not in terms of online dating. Players work on site with live women who are easier to talk to when they are caught off guard. Not behind a website, where women can be picky and are never caught off guard.

I think if you take the actual users, and the actual meets. You will find more often than not compatibility issues on the first date. But after that, I think you will find that the standard for a relationships that lasts vs ones that fade out early are just as common place as ones secured through other methods of finding dates.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 31
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 3:46:25 AM

You're right, but there's a lot of recent divorce's that are severely vulnerable, and should have some sort of preparation for being thrown into this type of situation, wouldn't you say? Or other women who may fall victim to this?


Seriously? You're killin' yourself here, man. Can't get the dates you want, so you're going to become savior to all the stupid women here who can't protect themselves? People do read these forums. I wouldn't be looking for an increase in your messages any time soon.

SunshineGirl was right early on in this thread: "Not being hot is NOT your biggest problem. Trust me."

You know some of us tend to focus on other people's lives and "issues", real or imagined, when we don't want to face our own lives and handle our own problems, right?
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 32
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 4:06:00 AM
Actually we can blame your profile. I'm from the same region. It was over 50 degrees on Xmas with rare December sunshine, over 60 the day after. You could have gone to the Katy Trail on the St. Chuck riverfront and asked people to take a photo of you. I hiked about 8 miles with my dogs on Xmas, many of them on a trail with good numbers of people. Rode my bike about 15 miles the day after Xmas and saw good numbers of babes. Those alpha males who get all the girls might have outside photos. Contrary to cynical posts on here, not all girls prefer muscleheads with indoor gym photos or metro male models in indoor photo studios.

You shouldn't claim this site is hopeless until you get closure from having decent outdoor photos and messaging a bunch of seemingly compatible girls.

St. Charles County is full of divorced soccer moms who might be easy. Lots of cigarette smoking suburban redneck, "rich white trash" if you don't mind moms, smokers, rednecks or racists. Watch out though, you probably know St. Charles County has an extremely high STD rate.

My favorite Internet photo of all time is Brian Moran, a St. Charles resident.

The Ferguson angle could give you street cred, a tough guy alpha image.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 33
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 7:13:18 AM

No offense but I know my limitations. (I consider myself a solid 4, maybe a 5 on a good day)

I see that as your biggest boat anchor dragging you down. Your over-confidence in your own self-image. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - ALWAYS. You don't get to choose how others see you.

If you think something needs a change - it's up to you to do it. Nobody else. Complaining in here does nothing. Figure out what factors you can control - and control them. Your OWN choices for who you find as 'attractive' is the easiest place to start - not whatever anyone else thinks. How many hundreds of profiles of women that are obese or have bad hygiene or simply can't write coherent sentences have YOU turned down? Every finger pointed around here still has three pointing back at them.

Instead of being a 'victim' or your own circumstances - change them! Deploy an exercise regimen. Train for a better job. Do what you can do to make yourself better - and stop worrying about finding needles in haystacks.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 34
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 8:50:08 AM

For the record, I get messages consistently, more than any of my male friends I have spoken to
So I'm curious, do *you* date up or down ?

In your view, are there also a set number of 'predatory' women who just use less attractive men for nights out on the town and such, only to throw them away and move on to the next when they get bored?

I said successful, meaning relationship spanning from it
That isn't everyone's definition of successful, you know.

Stop ignoring the point of the post, which was the predatory behavior of local men, or did you not get that, you were too busy focusing elsewhere, or ready to toss out the same old flames.
Honestly, after reading what all you wrote- that is not the point that stood out to me either. But I won't belabor things.

Even if what you say is true.. so what? I mean, I acknowledge that there are men on here who troll for hook ups- so? There are women who make it easy for men to act like that, and who then expect it from others- so? There are all kinds of things going on that I don't want to take part in- so?

Why even place your focus on these things? I don't understand.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 35
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Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 8:56:46 AM
Your perspective on the average intelligence of women is pretty revealing.

We've been female our whole lives (well, most of us). So the whole "phenomenon" of super-hot guys coming on to us for a short-term thing is pretty common.

Any woman over about 21 who says she has been "used" is simply excusing her own sexual behavior--because she has been socially conditioned to do that.

We may love the fling with the hottie (at least until he opens his mouth one time too many).

What on earth makes you believe women are so stupid?
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 36
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:21:22 AM
OK so I'm finding the general consensus is that people are fine with this practice. They are ok with the deceit, and it's part of life get over it, right?

And stop trying to focus on me, I'm not the point here, I was only using supporting spewing from my perspective, again yer too used to blasting people for complaining to see what I was getting at.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 37
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:22:20 AM
But who cares? Lol. Why do you insist on focusing on it??
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 38
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:27:00 AM
WHy would it bother you if I did? Hitting a personal note?
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 39
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:27:40 AM
Haha what? You're the one who is bothered by something you have absolutely NO control of, lol.
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 40
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:29:15 AM
guys do me a favor and vote this thread to be deleted..... most of you are making me ill thinking people don't want to care about subjects..
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 41
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:40:56 AM

SunshineGirl__: Sorry, I wasn't trying to be insulting, I live in Ferguson MO, it's the normal here. Life is slightly different here than in Maine..


Oh really…how long did you live in Maine?

What’s the “normal” there? Hot white women dating hot guys who aren’t white? What are you trying to say?


I'm sure to those who live in the more entitled areas would be prone to jump at that as a racial undertone, but I assure you it is not.


Ha ha….I called you entitled so you called me entitled back. Too bad you don’t know what it means. Please clarify how Maine is an “entitled area,” and how that relates to white women dating non-white men?

As for the “racial undertone” to what you posted….it’s blatant:


As often times instead of dating down women will just prefer a higher level of an alternate ethnicity. (not saying that's wrong, but it creates an un-even playfield for us ugly white guys


You’re upset because you believe that when women you want who don’t want you can’t get hot white guys, instead of “dating down” to give you a chance, they date laterally to non-white hot men, leaving you out in the cold on the uneven playfield….which is REALLY what this thread is about.

Please explain how you know who women who don’t want you are dating? Are you stalking them?

Qura:
What on earth makes you believe women are so stupid?


I think he’s HOPING women are so stupid… “Oh please….protect me, beta male, from those dirty, dirty sexy hot alphas!” (nod to VolcanoKing:))
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 42
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 10:43:56 AM
All you regular forum beatdown crew might want to decide being creative some time and provoke some topics of thought, instead of only insulting others, I've seen the history on some of you, and it seems that is all you do all day.... just a thought, try it some time..
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 43
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 11:07:46 AM
Regular former beat down crew? I think rational minds are well accepted, though I've been accused (and rightfully so) of creating bad threads or posts in regard to poor perception in context to something.

I voted to delete per your request. I don't think its a bandwagon type beatdown. I think its more about something else I dunnno
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 44
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 11:11:35 AM
CTRL Your posts were fine, it was the flaming posts that are getting to me. Instead of a viewpointed input, they are choosing to insult. That is counterproductive.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 45
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 11:59:58 AM
Yeah I was just saying don't worry, instead of causing people to raise an eyebrow higher than the next. Ive actually offended people in more dramatic ways. Ways that caused me to consider that I might be impulsive in connecting abstract things that make me look relatively insane.

Im also saying you can be a regular too, formers, were certainly not perfect. At least I've never made claims to impossible feats never achieved.

There is a lot of trickery going on, so being vexed as to the behavior associated with women can be a maddening experience if you don't take it with a grain of salt and an understanding that nothing makes sense.

I message this girl I think twice, and recently she messaged me out of the blue, not remembering I had messaged her. And I didn't respond

So think about all the angles of insanity that could be theorized as potential reasons. I thought I was being ignored, and then I did the ignoring because I lost interest. Don't try and make sense out of ignored messages or things like that or fake profiles or competing against anyone. Just sell your product, do the best you can, grain of salt = profit
frustration = deficit
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 46
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Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 12:31:14 PM
OP, the problem you are encountering here is that your initial post and theory is flawed and comes across as whiny. It has been echoed by many many men before you and many on the forums are sick of whining and men trying to find an external excuse for their lack of success here. The simple answer, is no, there are not a small group of men getting and bedding and using all they women here.

Are there players on POF? Of course. I've actually met three women in my area who "dated" the same guy who was a player. But that's the minority. You can come up with any accusation you want whether it be players, liars, broken people, people here just for validation etc. and that will certainly exist in some users. However, I think most are here to date and try to meet someone for a relationship.

Your problem is the classic one men experience here and I will repeat my comments from innumerable other similar threads. Your profile is utter crap. Your pictures are horrid. Your username is terrible. Your write up is bad and negative. Honestly, you could not have much of a worse profile. I suggest a complete rethink and rewrite. And then go to the profile reviews section of the forums.

Online dating is catalog shipping. We are presented with (initially) a picture and then if that grabs our attention we read what someone has written. Now we all want to be attracted to the person we date or end up in a relationship with. Physically.,mentally and emotionally. Convey something in your profile that women would find interesting. Get some good pictures that show you at your best, with good lighting and composition and maybe in different settings or doing something interesting. Write something interesting or unique that attracts a woman and makes her think you are worth getting to know. Have a look at my profile and those of other forum men who have some success here. See the difference?
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 47
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 12:59:09 PM

I consider myself a solid 4, maybe a 5 on a good day


As Danimal said, this is your biggest problem, I hate the whole rating system...but to then use it on yourself? If you think you're 40% too 50% worthy compared to the next guy, why complain cuz a woman thinks so and doesn't choose you??
Smile in your pics, you look so sour and b1tchy women are probably afraid to bother you

I agree with VK too, these same redundant rants are getting so tiresome to pick through
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 48
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 1:08:22 PM
Still waiting for a constructive perspective from the ladies that isn't a personal assault...
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 49
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Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 1:31:56 PM
Hey, the way you asked this question, "ramblings of a lunatic" was a permissible answer. Why are you complaining that most people decided to go with this option?
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 50
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 1:48:13 PM
And you're right, I should have expected it, I have been watching the forum trolls the passed couple months, and really should have known better, but I'm foolish and bored. I just thought it might be a constructive put down instead.. silly me..
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