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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you dec      Home login  
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 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 50
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
And you're right, I should have expected it, I have been watching the forum trolls the passed couple months, and really should have known better, but I'm foolish and bored. I just thought it might be a constructive put down instead.. silly me..
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 51
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 1:56:52 PM
Maybe even a switch up to the last 25 threads about age......... go harp on them a while, rofl, I'm sure some are though.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 52
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 2:25:46 PM
I think it takes balls to post an opinion that could potentially be rejected as nonsense or leave yourself vulnerable to negative perception. I don't really worry myself too much with regard to making the best impression every time, but I say what is on my mind regardless.

You shared your opinion, it got negative responses, in the end its water under the bridge and regardless of what anyone says. There is merit to the idea that some guys use POF as an easy platform to pray on women using the superficial nature of POF to his advantage. But I don't know if they are as prominent online as they are in reality. Guys who are players, are players because they evolved the means naturally. A player actually has a disadvantage online, if he doesn't rely mostly on physical appearance to do the playing or whatever.

I think the biggest issue are fake profiles, messaging fake profiles and thinking they are real, or profiles that are created for other reasons outside of preferred online dating etiquette purpose. And I think there is a lot of trickery, but I think players work better in reality, at least its easier for me to pick up women in reality (a lot easier) and I don't consider myself a player.

But yeah, there are a lot of odd profiles. And if they seem odd, too good to be true, or anything that triggers common sense to question the legitimacy. It stands to reason there is trickery going on. Try to be the first to message new women that appear, get an idea of the profiles that just sit there. That way you have a better idea of legit users versus fake users.

Fake profiles taking legitimate female users is conceivable. But its more likely the female user would eventually catch on after attempts to meet are postponed and the reality behind male models or female models become more true to life. Yeah, those people probably don't have social networking issues, or problems finding dates, so shoring up what POF has to offer is kind of like scraping the bottom of a barrel when that's not typical feed for the 10/10 physical appearance endowed person.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 53
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 2:35:31 PM

I'd like to present this scenario to the ladies



I'm no lady, but I'll tell you what I think.



Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...



According to your join date,
your profile is less than forty five days old.

Your "unique perspective" comes up on these forums a bunch.
Perhaps not in dating over thirty, but in ask a girl or broken hearts, lots of places.
All over, all the time. Everyone has heard of "Pump 'em and dump 'em" scenarios.

So for it being an unique perspective, it's not.

Ramblings of a lunatic ,
seems to fit better,
if I was in charge of deciding.


I might be in a unique position knowing so many people in my area, and thus no one else may have been able to connect the dots until now.


You have to admit, ^^^^ that sentence is leaning toward the lunatic side of the sanity scale.
Just grab the handles and put another quarter in the slot. See for yourself.





(I consider myself a solid 4, maybe a 5 on a good day)


That may be true, but if we were to rate the way your profile represented you....
It would be a one, maybe a two after a couple of drinks.
 cynicallyjaded
Joined: 11/19/2014
Msg: 54
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 2:40:21 PM
Again nothing to do with the point of the post, you got distracted again....

STRLVector, Right, well what got me onto it, contrary to what the negative posters think, was over the holidays friends and family got together, and the topic of here came up. And as I said in the OP was they had similar experiences, and even with some of the same individuals. So yeah there's merit to what I was trying to get at. I just didn't know it would strike such a chord with certain old (and obviously more cynical than I) users on here..:D

I do still firmly believe there should be a subset of articles available that do prepare people for online dating. Possibly presented by the sites themselves. And also warn them to not post on the forums cause most are not there to help. I'm still going to collect a collaboration of articles and evidence to be able to present to those I know who will be coming to a similar scenario as this place offers.

I should have left my personal viewpoint out of the post, as it detracted the trolls straight away to the whine section.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 55
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 12/31/2014 2:49:45 PM
I think POF is a relatively dead website, in that it sits to collect money at cost of minimal operating maintenance.

When the reality is there are a lot of options that could be added in terms of creating a user base with the option to look for same sex friends. And with regard to the LGBT specific needs with transsexual and bisexual orientation as a specific option, opposed to being limited for no reason outside of the programming being too painful to modify to that degree.

But yeah, I think potential hazards of online dating are understood in terms of women meeting men in public places. I just don't think the level of fraudulent trickery is understood for how pervasive it actually is. I would be surprised if every women I talked to online was actually a women, just like I would be surprised if every women I talked to provided legitimate pictures. Though I have a good track record, I know there have been some fairly obvious fakes.

I guess what I mean is the information will probably fall on deaf ears as a result of effort. And statistics that are backed by anecdotal evidence wont be well received due to a lack of credible data.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 56
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 1/1/2015 3:43:30 AM
Nice try at starting a new topic but your thoughts have been ranted forth before, with few satisfactory conclusions.
If people suggest the dissatisfied leave OLD, they just ignore it. I think they probably need an indirect way to contact women and wouldn't have the gall to try to talk to her in real life.

Your thesis is trite and redundant as nice guy rants go, but maybe you don't know cause you are divorced with kids and now dating again, and don't realize the rigors of dating over 40, on top of the usual dating hurdles.
Its not fun for a lot of people.



I'd like to present this scenario to the ladies, and wonder if they have ever had the same thoughts or conclusion? You might consider this a rant, and you would be right, for why else would I have even thought of this crazy sounding scheme?

The scenario happened before OLD.


I might be in a unique position knowing so many people in my area, and thus no one else may have been able to connect the dots until now.

Are you for real...


I have come to the firm realization of the possibility that there is a small community of "hot" guys who are getting all the dates.


Mais, non!


Coming across that they want a relationship but are actually riding the gravy train of easily targeted (for them) women who log in.

You connected these dots, did you?



The same women are being circulated to the same set of 50-100 or so guys in the area who have well written profiles, good pictures, saying they have a better job, and possibly a nicer car.


The idea! It makes me livid, who'd have thunk?



But in this venue of presentation they do not even entertain the below average males like myself since they do have these options.


That's surprising. Everybody knows women should distribute themselves evenly to all the men who exist in the world, and beckon. They should be a law by god..oh there are laws to that effect in effect in parts of the world...



And I don't care how many times you don't want that in your profile, when an attractive man sends you a message, you fall right for it every time.

Yeah, that attraction swindle, the oldest con game in town, like a fool...if only they were enlightened, they'd seek unattractive, thin skinned guys who are insecure, even if those guys turn into controllers and abusers (because insecurity breeds manipulation)and are irritating like sand in your shoe.



I was talked into coming on here by a female friend, who brags endlessly about their success on here.

Perception is a funny thing. She calls it conveying info, you call it gloating by an ugly girl who just owns a vagina and should shut up.



She is able to date up, so yes for her it's like a dream come true, even if there's no long term stick around from the guys, she's still under the illusion of successful dating, and the more power to her for that.


Well that sounded sincere "even though shes a frump, she get's men wanting to pump and dump..."typical jingle sung by bitterbros.
The derisive condemnation is really an attractive trait, along with the ageist, sexist,racist overtones...



I've actually run across many people on here that I have already known in real life. Having owned 5 retail/coffee shops some of a social nature affords me the luxury of having met a plethora of people, especially in my area.


So, if the claim by the nice guy is a sparkling personality to compensate for a lack of glamness,you should have had opportunities to do your charm sleight of hand.


Some of which are on the same physical level as myself who now will also not entertain dating at their level with the new found 'success'.

Maybe these gals don't see themselves as you see them.


So this is not just a sole case study, I've spoken with several ladies in person all with the same or similar stories. (As a side note everyone I spoke to was 35-45) And yes some of the names of guys they stated were similar.


Quite a dragnet you ran there, gee...nice anecdotal evidence to cover for your lack of an inbox.


I know what you're thinking, 'There has to be physical attraction.'. And I agree, but you should consider the alternative then. Why is the guy on a higher level dating me?

"So just cuz he has a bigger house, better car, is a better looking sex partner, wth???"



Would that then not work both ways for a permanent relationship? Why yes, yes it would, and you would be correct in the assertion that there needs to be a physical attraction, therefore you should also come to the realization that this guy is not after you for a permanent situation.

So by virtue of being frumpy, a guy is automatically a commitment person, and never misbehaves? Sounds self serving, pretty common.


Now after that how much more attractive would the other guy have been? Still happy with being used as long as the guy is hot, right?

I'm assuming adults can deal with their choices. You are just arguing out of self interest, than any concern that is selfless.


Guess I can't blame you there, if a hot gal wanted to use me a few times and then not call again, at least I would have been able to say I had the hot gal, right? Not really, see where my point is going?


You seem conflicted.



No offense but I know my limitations. (I consider myself a solid 4, maybe a 5 on a good day) I know what I have achieved in the passed. I know my physical level, I am not trying to fool myself or anyone else.
However women seem to not want to date their level when there are clearly a small subset of options presented to them that are willing to use misrepresentation to obtain their end goal.

Clearly these gals think they are not on the same level or are just not into you. Imagine that possibility.



Obviously there's always the option to date down, and even then it's often difficult. As often times instead of dating down women will just prefer a higher level of an alternate ethnicity. (not saying that's wrong, but it creates an un-even playfield for us ugly white guys) I've only been here a few months, and I've never had this much trouble getting a successful date, ever
Another awkward suspicion.



Don't blame the profile, I've tried several variants, and no the profile review was no help. All I got was the same old gal who corrects everyone else's spelling make fun of me, rofl.. I got some constructive criticism that I took note of from a younger gal and a younger guy that I appreciated. (not using names). So now I just have a basic 'email me or don't' style profile since no one read the novel length one I had anyhow. I'm not here for a profile review, I'm just pre-empting some scenarios of blame the profile game.

Just ugh with your attitude.


So what say you ladies? Is there any merit to things I have pointed out? Or am I just a lunatic? And at what point do others come to the same realization?

Ever considered you have an unattractive personality?


Correct me if I am truly off base here. I know it won't change anything in the way the world works, I'm mostly really just looking for validation in my observation. rofl...

Yes, that's typical of these blaming women for having the temerity to have choices and to exercise them. When they don't get validation, they slag at women as average, slutty, too dumb to know what's going on, shallow, old, etc...

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 1/1/2015 8:27:42 AM
Women tend to look for successful, attractive men. No secret there. They would like a man who is tall, and reasonably fit (flat stomach, not a “six pack”). He should have hair, and good teeth. (No one wants to kiss a person with bad teeth, face it.) They don’t necessarily want movie star good looks. The younger Robert Redford was a turn on for many women, but conversely, many women think Tommy Lee Jones quite attractive, despite his pock marked face.

The younger she is, the more likely a woman wants a man who is “hot”. Older, more mature adult women will still want “attractive” (see above paragraph), but will also be emphasizing other qualities. Do you have a real career, not just a job? Doctor, dentist, lawyer, airline pilot. “Manager” is good, so is “director”, Vice President even better. Whatever your career or job title, you should drive a nice car, you should own a nice home. You should be able to afford dining in a nice restaurant (not Olive Garden), and not flinch if she asks for the wine list.

Now given all of the above “qualifications”, what percentage of the male population is going to qualify? 20%? Nah, get real! Okay, 10%? Maybe, but probably not. Not when you factor in everything listed above. 5%? Yes, that sounds about right.

So, what women (mature, adult women) want for a relationship is a man who is in the 95th percentile or above. 1 out of 20.

Now before all of you ladies get your panties in a wad (that is, if you wear panties … But I digress …) Yes, I’m quite well aware that the inverse ratio is even worse. Men, men of all ages, not just mature men, desire a woman who looks like a Playboy centerfold. So what men desire is the top 1%, only 1 out of a hundred will qualify. But the key factor, the really important difference between the men and the women, and I cannot emphasize this too much:

Men are much more willing to settle.

There, I said it. Men may secretly desire that woman who is in the 99th percentile, but the great majority of them are realistic enough to know that isn’t going to happen. Unless, of course, they’re willing to pay $1,000 per hour for the pleasure of her company.

But a large number of women are not going to be that realistic. Why? Because they have been told all of their lives not to “settle”. Their mothers told them, their girl friends told them, the popular media (women’s magazines, TV shows, movies) all tell women “never settle”. “Prince Charming is out there, wait for him.” And don’t forget that women, as a rule, are much more competitive about this than men. Men compete at sports, at work, but not about who has the most attractive girl friend or wife. Whereas women do tend to talk about how attractive or successful their boy friend is, and even discuss their sex life and whether their boy friend / SO is good in bed.

So what happens? You have a really large number of women competing for a relatively small number of men. And some of them (I will not hazard a guess, but “some”) will stoop to stealing a man away from another woman. Once you understand this key fact, and accept it, it’s not hard to see that women, some women, would rather date the “winner”, even if he is not even close to being exclusive with her.

I think this is what the OP was trying to get at.

I have my flame retardant suit on, go for it!
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 58
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 1/1/2015 9:21:56 AM
No need for flame retardant. The OP is still just producing another variation of the nice/average guy rant, peppered with jabs and insults about women's choices all thru it

"When an attractive man sends you a message, you fall right for it every time. "


Heh. Again, he fails to understand basic human nature. People like attractive people. It is hardwired into our DNA to seek out traits that represent health, symmetry and reproductive value. This is not a choice, it is biology.

It's like saying I "fell for" eating again just because my stomach is empty. Or I "fell for" getting a job because it's necessary for survival.

Whoops! I "fell for" the cute guy who just walked by.

The OP is here to grind women into the ground (not particularly original, BTW), trying to prove their behavior wrong because it does not suit him or benefit him. He's going to disagree with everyone who won't "prove his point." We will be accused of "digressing" "not seeing the point" and other spew flowing thru the mouth (fingertips?) of a man who comes on here admitting he's fairly unattractive and could very well be "a ranting lunatic."

OP, I've asked similar men with similar issues (there are plenty of them on here) to offer some ideas on what to do next. YOU think there is a problem. And it needs to be fixed. And you know women are not going to change their behavior, any more than men are going to.

So...what do we do next? Instead of wasting your time hitting up against our "attack force" why don't you offer up some solutions, right here, right now, in the face of women not changing.

Mandatory "be nice to nice guy" meetings? Mass punishment? Beatings?

Go ahead. Waiting for your proposed solutions.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 59
Unique perspective on prospecting, or ramblings of a lunatic, you decide...
Posted: 1/1/2015 10:40:25 AM
Is there any merit to things I have pointed out? Or am I just a lunatic?


Actually those 2 questions are unrelated.

There could be merit to those items AND you could be a lunatic at the same time.


I've tried several variants, and no the profile review was no help.


No surprise there.
I haven't read every post in that Forum, but I have yet to see a guy come back and post that his inbox is flooded with replies and first messages from women after making suggested changes.


I've only been here a few months, and I've never had this much trouble getting a successful date, ever.


The last couple of years have been very tough for men in online dating sites. Women overall just do not reply and initiate messages like they used to years ago. If one was to compare it to a retail clothing store, there are way more window shoppers now, versus prospective customers who come in, look around, and at least try a few items on before deciding to buy or not buy.


Online dating is catalog shipping.


A large part of the problem.


I agree with VK too, these same redundant rants are getting so tiresome to pick through


And yet, pick through them, people do, over and over and over again.
Compelled by some unforeseen force.
Rather than ignore them or vote to delete them.


Still waiting for a constructive perspective from the ladies that isn't a personal assault...


Better find a comfortable chair to wait in.


Men, men of all ages, not just mature men, desire a woman who looks like a Playboy centerfold.


While men of all ages may indeed "desire" a woman who looks like a Playboy centerfold, "mature" men will also realize that a woman does not HAVE to look like a Playboy centerfold to be physically attractive, and will not spend a lifetime seeking the centerfold to the disregard of other attractive non-centerfolds. Which is not necessarily "settling", since the Playboy centerfolds may not have much more to offer than their airbrushed bodies, which the "mature" man realizes will not sustain a deep and meaningful relationship for very long, it at all.
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