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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Why do so many men end up with unkind women      Home login  
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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 126
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Why do so many men end up with unkind womenPage 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Clooneystutor

Your argument is so refreshing , I agree with you, but let's tackle the root of what makes a woman intitled to insult a man, disrespect him as a human being. These women are from divorce family, They see Father as money/goodtimes/ materials things. They did not bond with father as a family; loving, strict, and disiplinarian. When Mom and Dad meet they are verbally combatant, if Dad lose his job, and can't sent money for child support, then mom hurls all the kind of insult in the book to him or sue him.. These women model is their mom on how to treat a man. Really and trully it has nothing to do with the stars Mars/Venus. I met a lots of divorce women at place work, >> new man-- is so sweet good, bought me this n that, and bad mouth the previous guy. that becomes a pattern, I am happy for them because my life is easier at work for awhile, then back to square one again.

"Let's stay in touch and see if we have a chemistry"
I define Girly Girl that she doesn't do the game of REALITY, that mutual interaction with someone is an effort and energy to make a chemistry.
Let me give an example my late husband was 2x divorce, and he is treating like his former ex wives verbal combatant, we did not go to therapy counselor or whatever, I put him in his place, to treat me kindly... I believe that people change for better, for they have that goodness in there inner core.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 127
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/26/2015 6:54:47 AM

We teach people how to treat us.

If you're with an unkind man, or woman, for any length of time, it's due to your own lack of boundaries and failure to get out of an unhealthy situation

Correct, Lili. However, there are women out there who are so Machiavellian, they can conceal their duplicity from a man indefinitely.


I imagine many of these men are the husbands that rushed into a marriage based on her beauty.

Not blaming her, but nurturing a relationship takes 2, and sadly, men often focus on bringing home the bacon.

I've been on several dates where a gal has said she left the guy because he was not attentive enough, yet she has 2 engineer sons and is a 'girly girl'. I'm thinking...what can I offer you the guy before me didn't? A comedian? I asked Girly Girl what she like to do for fun and was told, "Let's stay in touch and see if we have chemistry". Well, if you don't have interests, except staying pretty, it appears, I just don't get that script she's running. lmao

So many dimensions going on with this that really gets to the core of Mars/Venus and why marriages often fail.

I am dating my ex husband. So he tells me sometimes what made him fall in love w/ me when we met in 1982.

Background- I met him shortly after he got out of the NAVY (off topic, he wanted to address BBE on some of his posts to Clooney & myself)

After 4 years as a young man being out on the USS Independence in the Indian Ocean, he met me in a bar while I was w/ a female friend & 2 other guys were buying us drinks ;0P

He said he first noticed my appearance, but thought I was sweet as I conversed w/ him. He brought up things I forgot.

He said after the 1st date or 2 I bought him a stuffed animal of a Seagull dressed as a sailor. When we went on dates, he paid for most of it.

I never asked to go here or there & I also cooked for him while living at my parent's house. After a few dates, we went to an amusement park in NJ & I ended up buying Season passes for BOTH of us, because it was more economical if you were going to go 2 or more times.

His family liked me & my family liked him.

Back then I was not as formed as I am now. Now I have more specific interests, am not as sweet & generous AT THE BEGINNING.

I like sci-fi, psychological thrillers, psychology. sociology, biology. I like animals/cats, tiny houses, some level of travel.

If I were starting over again, I would not expect a man to share all of my interests. I would expect him to have similar background, be emotionally available, have similar intellect.

But if his intellect is on my level & he is selfish, doesn't know how to treat me, no go.

If he knows how to treat me but is a dullard, no go.

For me it was always more about conversation & treatment than height, looks or $$, altho I like a man who shares.

So I can imagine a man w/ a Trophy Wife who is boring.

What I do resent is any assumption that a woman who is attractive or grooms herself is dumb, has no interest or intellectual capacity.

PS- My partner feels men who are Veterans are a brotherhood & should support each other & honor each other, rather than argue, even Navy vs. Army, as his older brother was Army. Clooney said nice things to me in an email & we appreciate him & feel he embodies the spirit of a patriot.

...? ;0P
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 128
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/26/2015 11:26:39 AM
I just don't run into anyone that I would deem "unkind" to their partner, male or female. Sure, we all have a bad day and snap at our children or spouse, but its rare, at least it should be rare. But overall, I've only been involved with friends and family that seem to have good relationships. Maybe that's why they are still married and I have very few friends that have divorced. So to me, the OP's post wasn't remotely what I see in real life.
 Bachelorette.Number1
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 129
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/26/2015 8:07:05 PM
I would reply to this that you can't be sure what's going on.
It may look ****y, and perhaps it totally is, but maybe the guy's been a real jerk for the past 5 years.

Or maybe she's sick of being walked on and is overcompensating.
Maybe his mom is a real bothersome idiot for the past 20 years and he won't say a word to her about it....
Maybe the woman's mom is in the hospital and dying from cancer and he's been totally unsupportive.

Maybe he makes her pay all the bills and keeps his money to himself.
Maybe he's a real bonafide wimp and she's sick of it and is doing this to get some life outta him.
Maybe on the ride to wherever you saw them, the guy had a total freak out road rage incident that scared the crap out of her and now she's stuck at the f'ing restaurant trying to get through the meal.

Maybe he tore up her credit cards because she's a spendaholic and now she's pissed.
Maybe he works 80 hours a week and she feels forgotten.
Maybe he told her she looks fat in those pants.
Maybe they got in their car and she apologized.

This is why I think it's kinda none of our business.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 130
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/28/2015 6:00:03 PM
^^^
Didn't the Red Deer area get rated as the place with the most cheaters?The men go work up north and the women get hook ups.I feel sorry for those guys.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 131
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:30:34 PM
I still say, given the time of year that this topic was started, that perhaps the OP just had the misfortune to observe couples having a bad day and reacting to holiday stress/hecticness.
I do not, in my day-to-day life and activities, see much example of women being unkind to their men.
Cindy O
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 132
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:42:27 PM
Yes, all the "cheaters" voluntarily turned themselves in and of course they were all women. :/
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 133
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:33:20 PM
Ashley Madison said 29,000 Calgary women signed up in the first year.Paying site.Figure the demographics for men that travel related to work.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 134
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:49:34 PM
^^^
And why wouldn't you trust their stats?What has led you to disbelieve them?Sylvan Lake,Red Deer,plenty of people.POF,CL and a smartphone and no problem within the hour.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 135
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/1/2015 7:17:11 PM
For all the why questions I ask, I don't ask generalizations in regard to gender.
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 136
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/3/2015 3:17:34 PM

calguy14 says...

Ashley Madison said 29,000 Calgary women signed up in the first year.Paying site.Figure the demographics for men that travel related to work.


I am 99.9% positive that any female on Ashley Madison is either 400lbs and being ignored by their husband, or a prostitute.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 137
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/3/2015 3:37:23 PM
^^^
Didn't word of mouth make them popular in Toronto?No doubt there are hookers and trannies.My bet is women 40 and up with a traveling husband making 150k is common.He screws around and she knows it,has no intention of ditching the place.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 138
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:14:16 PM
So many men wind up with unkind women because so many men wind up with women, period. When so many men get involved, some of the women are bound to be unkind. Men who keep women at arms length don't have those kinds of problems.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 139
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:41:51 PM

Men who keep women at arms length don't have those kinds of problems. [/qquote]
yes this is true and a fair amount of them are busy meachin' around free online dating sites looking for opportunities to "pump and dump".
The really dedicated "arms' length" men are, one or a combination of ;
celibate
asexual
gay
or willing to pay for sex.
Just sayin...
Cindy O
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 140
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:46:17 PM

The really dedicated "arms' length" men are, one or a combination of ;
celibate
asexual
gay
or willing to pay for sex.
Just sayin...
Cindy O


Seeing as this is the over 45 forum, why leave out "old and tired"?
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 141
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:49:35 PM

Maybe they are masochists


In some cases, I'm sure that while you witnessed them being berated you didn't witness the woody in their pants. Some guys get off on being humiliated HUGE ( pardon the pun ).
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 142
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:57:35 PM
yeah, DB, I missed that one.
Consider "old and tired" added to the list.
Good point, too, that for some guys being ripped on is foreplay...
Cindy O
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 143
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 12:58:16 PM

We teach people how to treat us.

If you're with an unkind man, or woman, for any length of time, it's due to your own lack of boundaries and failure to get out of an unhealthy situation.


I agree with this.

If a person is so willing to extend themselves as an obliging doormat, then they will allow unkind people to enter their domain, every time. Sometimes, it takes a very nasty experience or hitting rock bottom to realize this; others are aloof to taking responsibility of their own pain and suffering.

Once a person establishes personal boundaries and reealize the full importance of creating and utilizing them, they may respect those of others and realize they're doing them the disservice of continuing unhealthy situations.

Love or hate responsibility, but it's the kindest thing some can do for themselves.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 144
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 1:04:56 PM


Kids soak up everything like a sponge. EVERYTHING. How it affects them can't always be immediately identifiable - but one thing for sure, the "Do as I say, not as I do." method of parenting doesn't work. At all. We all need/need to be parental figures to help keep that moral compass straight, and it starts with our own actions, not words.


This is the most lucid and poignant piece I've ever read of your posts.

And every word of it is true.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 145
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 1:36:08 PM

The really dedicated "arms' length" men are, one or a combination of ;
celibate
asexual
gay
or willing to pay for sex.


I think I can agree with that. So what does that mean to you Cindy? What is your concept here? My guess is that you dislike men so much, you want to see how many cementheads post after this assuring all of the women that they are real men and thus disgracing themselves. I don't much like real men either so on with the show!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 146
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/5/2015 6:07:29 PM

I wonder if you guys are fully aware of how needlessly confrontational and win-at-all costs your culture is deemed to be by others. War on drugs, war on terror, war on inequality - why start so many wars that you can't hope to win?


Ha ha….those aren’t real “wars,” that’s political pandering. They hope to “win” money; and they do. It’s all about money. Those plastic talking heads can become passionate advocates for anything if there’s enough money in it.


Not so long ago, I saw an internet article about the most sexist ads ever. I'm no "white knighter" but these ads made me cringe. Just outlining the concept of each ad would get an executive fired today but they were all passed and in heavy circulation at one time (latest one in the seventies).


You think the ads were bad…watch an American TV show from the 70s. When I was a kid I used to like the detective show Columbo. Recently I caught a bit of an episode, where Columbo is describing a dead woman, supposedly a suicide…she was so gorgeous, she had such a great body, why would she kill herself?? I can’t even discuss that…it was disgusting to me.


Not enough men complained then and look where it got us.


There’s no reason for men to complain, it’s not about them and doesn’t affect them.
During the NFL playoffs, I heard one of the announcers say that the players doing those anti-domestic violence spots were forced into being politically correct. He obviously didn’t care that everyone knew he thought it was bullsh!t. NFL players can get fined if they don’t make themselves accessible to the media. It doesn’t take a genius to make the connection.


I think both men AND women have to start complaining now......


Maybe they will, but I wouldn’t count on any real change.
 lizzinstuart
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 147
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/7/2015 9:13:09 AM
I agree and all my brother and guy friends are with witches and all the sweet girls at home by themselves
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 148
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/7/2015 9:25:12 AM

So what does that mean to you Cindy?

Not much. Why should it?

My guess is that you dislike men so much,

Your guess would be extremely wrong.

I don't much like real men either

I'm sure they are devastated to hear that.

On the original topic, I still say-given the time of year this thread was started-that the OP just happened to witness some situations of tired, stressed-out people behaving somewhat badly. I do not see an "epidemic" of unkindness towards men. I do see women feeling more free to show contempt to contemptible men. I think we are ALL-all PEOPLE!- more expected to earn respect based on our personhood and our character, not just because of our particular gender.
Cindy O
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 149
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/7/2015 9:44:26 AM

Not much. Why should it?


It shouldn't, nothing at all.


Your guess would be extremely wrong.


Well, I guess you had me fooled. I'm curious. What exactly do you gain by tricking everyone into thinking that you are a man-hater? Does the Andrea Dworkin Fan Club send you green stamps or something?


I'm sure they are devastated to hear that.


God knows how they deal with that big a tragedy.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 150
Why do so many men end up with unkind women
Posted: 2/8/2015 10:33:04 AM

What exactly do you gain by tricking everyone into thinking that you are a man-hater?

Everyone doesn't think that. Far from it.
Just people who are already haters.
Cindy O
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