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 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 440
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?Page 18 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

Really?? Is that what science and documented research says or you just know better than their findings. It’s pretty clear, women with a high number of sexual partners are more likely to divorce. Why is that??

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html


This posters blog hardly seems like a credible source of info.

https://www.blogger.com/profile/12927698533626086780

You might as well have posted the opinions of people on twitter or FB...lol
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 441
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 4:29:20 PM
^^^^^^^^
+1
Never mind the fact that it has less than NOTHING to do with the topic either...LOL

Just another troll, amusing themselves by trying to engage in some kind of flame-war thinly disguised as a "quasi-debate"...
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 442
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:08:27 PM

If you ask a person that you barely know how many people have you slept with, chances are, you're NOT going to get an honest answer, due to the nature of the question...


Only if they have something to hide!! Yep, honesty is a big part of this whole topic and thats what makes it so interesting. This question is truly character revealing yet you continually try and disprove (unsucessfully) that little fact.


But you're 100% right on the money about that being a good way to weed out those that don't have appropriate boundaries and those who do....
As I said earlier, it would eliminate them fairly quickly for myself and yes, I agree, that's a time saver....


Boundaries according to who? If I interpret this my way, the fact that you even consider that this question is "out of bounds" suggests to me that you have something to hide. Again, its proof point that you have some moral objection behind the number and it smells of dishonesty!! You know, reading more and more of this simply reinforces the need for this question to be asked.

As for elimination and time saver, at least you and I can both agree to that one!! Its endgame for sure and I'll happily move on to the next one!!
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 443
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:24:48 PM
I was just thinking of a few other questions that I don't think anyone asks, I know I haven't, but the answers might be revealing....if answers honestly -

1). Have you ever smacked your partner?
2) Have you ever beat your partner?
3) Have you ever cheated on a girl friend/boyfriend?
4). Have you cheated on your wife/husband?
5). How much to you really drink? Drugs?
6). Do you have a criminal record?
7). Do you pay your child support on time?
8). Do you disparage your ex wife/husband in front of your children?
9). Do you with hold visitation with your child's mother/father?
10) What is your current relationship like with your ex?
11). How do you get along with your parents? Sisters? Brothers?
12). Are you a child molestor?


These are just a few that popped in my head, there are more. I want to know the honest answers to these questions long, long before I'd even consider asking "how many have you slept with". There are far more important things to know about someone other than how many they banged.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 444
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:28:05 PM

These are just a few that popped in my head, there are more. I want to know the honest answers to these questions long, long before I'd even consider asking "how many have you slept with". There are far more important things to know about someone other than how many they banged.


You know what? At the start of this thread I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly on that. After reading some of the responses here, I'm not so sure. Honesty is a big one in my books and this question seems to bring that (or lack thereof) out quite quickly.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 445
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:36:46 PM
You know Silver, we had a few back and forth comments and then shared a chuckle in another thread, I don't think you're an idiot or anything....far from it in fact. I kinda like you. So my take on this is - you are totally enjoying the back and forth. You toss it out, "they" lob it back and we have a tennis match of sorts and its fun to partake and sorta fun to watch. You do know that we, the royal we, will just do what we want anyway. The next time I get laid, I'll phone you and we can share a glass of wine and I'll tell you whether it meant something to me. :-)

But the questions I posed...how the hell do you ask those???
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 446
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:48:37 PM

Boundaries according to who? If I interpret this my way, the fact that you even consider that this question is "out of bounds" suggests to me that you have something to hide. Again, its proof point that you have some moral objection behind the number and it smells of dishonesty!! You know, reading more and more of this simply reinforces the need for this question to be asked.


As I stated before this question is none of anyones business. It's not a question of being dishonest or hiding anything. The question is highly subjective and judgmental. Lets examine why a man would ask this question.

Is he attempting to find out if I've had enough experience that he feels I'll be a good candidate sexually?

Is he worried I've had enough experience to then judge him should he get the chance to bed me? Will I know his penis is smaller then average or his performance is subpar?

Is he concerned a lack of partners will mean I don't have the bedroom skills of Xaviera Hollander? Or the oral skills of Linda Lovelace?

If the question is about STDs it's prudent to be tested prior to engaging in sex with someone and a refusal is certainly a red flag...

The elephant in the room is why does he need to know?
Someone who's adamant about knowing my sexual history is throwing up a huge red flag and I refuse to indulge such insecurities. I never kiss and tell, even on myself.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 447
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:55:22 PM
If a man goes to bar or club with the intent of trying to "pick up" a woman and he meets a lady, they hit it off and decide to make a night of it and just before they light it up he asks "how many men have you slept with?" said no man ever.

I'm pretty confident in my ability to judge the people who would be in my social circle. If I were to approach a lady down by the docks at 1am and she's receptive, I'm betting this is not a fingers and toes kind of gal.

If I have to fire off a "how many have you slept with" comment then I'm making bad choices in the ladies I'm interested in.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 448
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/30/2015 6:07:15 PM

You know Silver, we had a few back and forth comments and then shared a chuckle in another thread, I don't think you're an idiot or anything....far from it in fact. I kinda like you. So my take on this is - you are totally enjoying the back and forth. You toss it out, "they" lob it back and we have a tennis match of sorts and its fun to partake and sorta fun to watch. You do know that we, the royal we, will just do what we want anyway. The next time I get laid, I'll phone you and we can share a glass of wine and I'll tell you whether it meant something to me. :-)


Dammit - someone who gets me!!!

Ya on all counts...........I'll take you up on that glass of wine, too, Blue.

After that confession, I don't think I really have much to add now.............lol.............

Have a great weekend, everyone!!
 Mentisnow
Joined: 6/29/2014
Msg: 451
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 1:05:49 AM
I would say: pick a number then multiply it by 1000, subtract 1000, then add 100,000. I would then laugh to my hearts content and walk away.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 452
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 1:12:23 AM

m_church said:
Ok, so then, why have women asked me?


No clue, I have never asked a man how many women he's slept with.


m_church said:
...if the guy has slept with a lot of women prior to her, then he's probably found something he likes doing and will continue doing...


Hahahahahahaha! Too funny...found something he likes doing...lol. I'm pretty sure all men like having sex...rofl.

When I live in "If" land I consign myself to perpetual singleness. No one wants to have to pander to another's paranoid, insecurities and suspicions . Many people one day meet "the one" and settle down. I'd rather let him show me what kind of man he is rather then make assumptions on a body count. My worth as a person isn't summarized by how many men I've been intimate with why would I place that onus on a man?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 453
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 2:24:58 AM

No one wants to have to pander to another's paranoid, insecurities and suspicions . Many people one day meet "the one" and settle down. I'd rather let him show me what kind of man he is rather then make assumptions on a body count. My worth as a person isn't summarized by how many men I've been intimate with why would I place that onus on a man?


Nicely put, geek....+1


Boundaries according to who? If I interpret this my way, the fact that you even consider that this question is "out of bounds" suggests to me that you have something to hide.


And if I "interpret" this question MY way, you're a puerile boundary-less individual who needs to be taught manners...So, what's your point???
LMAO

And btw...ask away....not sure exactly how you plan on knowing whether or not they're telling the TRUTH, of course, as I already previously mentioned, perhaps attempting to track down and interview all of her previous lovers??? Or do you have some kind of "spidey sense" equivalent???? LOL
Or maybe if she's good in bed, you'll just assume she's lying by telling you she's had two lovers in her Life?
Get a grip, man....TOO funny....But hey!!! Whatever gets you through the night!!!!

As far as anybody "getting you"...please, you're NOT that complex, my friend, NOR that subtle.....but, you ALSO weren't the only poster involved in this thread and coming onto a discussion board and being argumentative for it's own sake and attempting to bait and flame other posters...well, not only a complete waste of valuable time, imo, but, I guess for me I would rather read a good book, so, knock yourself out!!!
For the most part your argument holds NO water and your "logic" is questionable at best....But good to see that you're making friends! LOL
See? PROOF that apparently even TROLLS can form relationships...I'm sure that you'll be an inspiration to others....;-)

@ mchurch....
I have never asked that question of a man before and don't know anybody who has/does so I can't help you with that either....

As far as the whole job thing...well, I'm sorry that's such a downer for you, but I'm FAIRLY certain that the majority of people don't find that to be either an intimate or intrusive question, and it's definitely NOT on the same level as asking someone how many people they've had sex with!!!
But you don't have to believe me...just do an informal poll of people that you encounter and see how well the sex question goes down....Should be QUITE interesting!!!! Ummm, don't forget the ice pack!!! LOL

As far as dating when you're unemployed...well, for myself, it's really a no-brainer...If I'm unemployed, my priority is to find a job to support myself, like adults are supposed to do, unless retired and/or independently wealthy,whether or not I have savings as that WILL eventually run out.Worrying about finding a potential partner, especially if my self-esteem is not up to par, which it normally isn't when I've been unemployed, is just a distraction ...ime

Also...the reality is that adult relationships ARE and SHOULD be conditional...Note, I said RELATIONSHIPS, NOT feelings and/or love....
It's guaranteed that we WILL be "judged" by a potential partner, otherwise, why have ANY preferences, standards, boundaries, values, etc.?? It's called being discerning and using your good judgement. If I met a man who was EVERYTHING, or even mostly what I'm looking for and he happened to be currently unemployed but showed initiative and a desire to find other employment, then I could deal with that, no problem, As long as he's not looking for a meal ticket, that is. If, however he is NOT interested in finding work and thinks that moving in with me is the solution to his financial dilemma, then, no, not interested...Not because of his lack of employment, but simply because that kind of behaviour isn't in line with my personal values.
It's really just a question of finding that person who "fits" with us and shares our values... jmo
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 455
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 10:18:35 AM
God, I can't believe this is still being discussed.

OK, let's look at my "past behavior" and "future behavior".

My "number" before I got married at age 22 - Four, including my ex husband. Was married for 20 years. So what does that "predict" about my "future behavior" after my divorce?
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 456
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 10:23:39 AM
Look, if someone has the nerve to ask ..How many have you slept with?

Just say NONE!!
.., there wasn't much sleeping going on..giggity giggity wink wink. ;)
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 457
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 11:26:33 AM

Only if they have something to hide!! Yep, honesty is a big part of this whole topic and thats what makes it so interesting.

You're treating it like You Deserve to know the answer -- again, on a question that's not merely personal, but answers taken that are skewed by most who ask it into the adult years. I agree someone shouldn't lie about it (but it wouldn't be an indicator of a liar when it's that type of question; but still not a good idea) -- they should just not answer the question. ("How many guys have you slept with?")

However, in some questions, one can be put in position where refusing to answer it would be Assumed in the Bad Category. That's totally unfair. In those situations, giving an Untrue answer, to some degree, Is Ethical. ("So, have you slept with more than 12 guys?")

Again, some folks are too Obsessed with a number, and are Inaccurate at making judgement calls on it when they are. Combine that with it also being personal -- it's a stupid question to ask.

It'd be better to ask questions about how they roll, if you wanted to get personal -- not being superstitious, and pretty much regardless of their age or years single, you being obsessed about a number in and of itself.

Marcy: "You and Rick are like peas and carrots. You guys have been seeing each other for a long time!"
Alice: "Yeah, I know... he's really great. A great guy."
Marcy: "So, what's he like in bed?"
Alice: "Oh, I haven't slept with him, even though it's been almost a year. I can't sleep with him until we're like engaged or married, knowing he'll be my last."
Marcy: "What? Why? I don't get it..."
Alice: "Well, I've already slept with 14 guys since I was 17. I've used up all my 'fuel'... I don't want to hit the 15 mark when single -- I'll feel like a whore."
Marcy: "You're almost 40, Alice. And you've been single for a long time, as you wisely didn't get married to those two guys who were great as regular BFs, but not for the long-haul. You have a lot more years than I or most of our friends in the single-scene... of course your # is going to be higher. Are we in high school? What bafoon wouldn't understand this concept?"
Alice: "You'd be surprised. My age has very little to do with anything... or how much I've been single. Some guys are obsessed about the 'number' in and of itself. You can only use so much of that fuel tank, otherwise some guys will judge you as too easy. The number itself gets to them -- it's a stigma. It isn't about going thru the 'story-problem' and evaluating whether I'm 'easy' or not. It's a sub-cultural thing that affects some guys, unfortunately."
Marcy: "Well, Alice... if a guy's going to be that Immature -- and more importantly, that INACCURATE, if you're pegged by a certain question where you have to answer, what is unethical about giving an Inaccurate answer? I mean, it's unfair..."
Alice: "Well, said guys won't see it as them taking answers/numbers Inaccurately & skewed with Unfair results. Thus, they can't make that connection."
Marcy: "Yeah, but how are they going to find out? A time machine, stalking you? Objectively, it's not their right to know at all, and it's unfair to put someone in position with a particularly phrased question where no-answer is Assumed-Bad. They're obsessed about a number like a high-schooler -- not how easy or non-easy you Actually are."
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 458
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 12:28:07 PM
When asked how many men I have slept with, I answer with an honest "zero". Nothing to hide here, not even in the closet.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 459
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/31/2015 12:45:21 PM

As far as anybody "getting you"...please, you're NOT that complex, my friend, NOR that subtle.


Yeah I’d never guess he was flame baiting for attention. :/

No need to tip toe around creepers. I go with this:


None of your fukking business.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 460
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/1/2015 12:53:15 AM

None of your fukking business.


If I were to ask, that's the answer I'd expect. Or words to that effect anyways.

I'd be more concerned that they are STD free than worried about how many.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 461
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 7:56:01 AM
I can't resist taking one more dig at some of this drivel........



For the most part your argument holds NO water and your "logic" is questionable at best


This coming from the wingnut psychologist with the degree from a Cracker Jack box? TOO FUNNY!!!!




well, not only a complete waste of valuable time, imo


Au contraire, my fine wingnut friend!! You (and Sunshine) have contributed greatly to the entertainment of this thread, and while you would rather read a book, you still had time to write a ton of drivel for me to play with and laugh at!! For that, I do thank you!! MOST entertaining, and quite funny!!!!!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 462
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:18:36 AM

My "number" before I got married at age 22 - Four, including my ex husband. Was married for 20 years. So what does that "predict" about my "future behavior" after my divorce?

By itself, probably nothing. But it's part of a bigger conversation and bigger body of knowledge that one tries to gain about someone they're dating...and the idea of course is to be objective and fair when interpreting that information.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 463
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:36:16 AM

I'd be more concerned that they are STD free than worried about how many.

And that's what the Number-Demanders fall back on as their excuse when it boils down to it: "Well, I don't want to sleep with someone who's got a million STDs, or even one..." But that's not really the underlying reason. It's a catalyst to push the question, sure -- but it's not The reason at all.

Pretend in the near future nobody has STDs (or even the flu, yay). Do you really think the number-demanding guys aren't going to care if 23-year old Sally, got ball-banged by 100 dudes? Of course they are. They're going to be pretty much just as upset. Mormons aren't going to go around banging away, either. It's not about STDs, when it boils down to it. It's just Possession Issues. It's the red-headed step child to Jealousy that he/she has, being a number-demander.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 464
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:38:14 AM

Just say NONE!!


Or potato, why does it have to be a number?

or
or
or

Or you could say - I've had more c*ck than John Waynes revolver.

or you could say - why do you have to ask a stupid question so early in the dating game
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 465
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 2:20:33 PM

This coming from the wingnut psychologist with the degree from a Cracker Jack box? TOO FUNNY!!!!


Ahhh the ad hominem argument of someone without an, otherwise, leg to stand on!!!! LMAO

Yes, you have amused me as well,....
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 466
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 7:15:20 PM

Just say NONE!!


If they're a virgin at my age I think I'd be meeting them at a church or convent and calling them "Sister (name)".
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 467
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 2/2/2015 8:17:30 PM
I was asked this question once... I said none since my ex-husband and before him I don't remember. The guy laughed.
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