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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 34
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?Page 2 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

Can you see it from my point of view though? I will obviously get judged on previous behaviour


Yes.

Which is people need to know themselves, rather than just plowing through life unchecked and engaging in any behaviors which they may be judged harshly for, IF they are the type of person who does care what others think about them.

Obviously, if they don't care about what others think about them, they can do whatever they like without worrying about any future repercussions.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 35
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 11:03:28 AM
^^^ Norwegianguy. it's not funny. It's a fact. Men and omen do not have the same average. A promiscuous women can have dozens of partners. A hooker, thousands. She makes up for the women who have had a few. 8 out of 10 unattached random males will have sex with the same woman if given the opportunity. In contrast it is not likely that more than one woman in 20 will have random sex with the same male.

All the more reason to think twice about who you are having sex with. I'm a male and don't apologize for it. I have little interest in a woman who has been promiscuous in the past. I know myself and, unlike some males, don't pretend her sexual past doesn't matter. Also, I have never met a woman who would be impressed that a man has had several partners. They are more likely to admire a male who showed commitment in the past. Nothing earth shaking in any if this. It crosses all cultures around the world....Asian, East Indian, Latin, Arab, etc.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 36
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 11:41:21 AM
This is a self esteem issue, young lady. Why aren't you listening? Someone get CTRLvector in here.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 37
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 11:43:01 AM

Maybe you should try dating women you don’t consider liars, and/or women who aren’t in the habit of letting their sexual history slip out in “casual conversation.”



??? How the hell am I supposed to know if they are liars without engaging in some conversation (i.e. a date?). Granted, I go in with eyes wide open, but I really won't know anything about them until we have a few chats.

In the meantime, my preconcieved opinions tend to serve me well - I'm sticking to my mantra and agree with this poster above:



I have little interest in a woman who has been promiscuous in the past. I know myself and, unlike some males, don't pretend her sexual past doesn't matter.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 38
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 11:44:47 AM
^^^ Norwegianguy. it's not funny. It's a fact. Men and omen do not have the same average.

You're wrong. It's simple math. That's how skewed people get when it comes to a sensitive subject.

I'll even go with the false stereotype that men sleep with tons 'o women, while not many women do the same. Yes, the average is still about the same if you have about the same men & women.

Let's go with a microcosm of just 10 men and 10 women in the world, so we can do the math in our heads: 10 Men, 10 women

1 Guy has sex with ALL 10 women
9 Guys are chumps, have no sex at all
AVG # of women slept with for Men: *1*

10 Women sleep with the 1 stud guy pointed out above
AVG # of men slept with for Women: *1*

Play with the numbers all you want. If you have an equal amount of men & women -- the AVERAGE is always going to be the same. One with little math skills can see it -- but hey, just look it up if ya don't quite get it off the bat. :)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 39
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 11:48:48 AM

While I will never ask my date how many she has slept with, if I do find out through casual conversation it is a high number it will make me question her character and convictions, and ultimately how faithful she will be longer term. Its definitely a knock against her.


Typical double standard that defines women as sluts and men as studs. And it's just a crock of s h it.

I've slept with women that had not that many partners and women that had plenty of partners. In the end it did not amount to anything other than the woman who had more experience was much better in bed pleasing me, and finding what she wanted to please her. Also, the amount of partners NEVER defined their level of fidelity.
To me your number are not important, fidelity is. I've known women with a high libido, that then because they did not meet anyone interesting, they remained celibate for two years.
 WestCoastRed
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 40
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:07:24 PM
Honestly, it doesn't bother me when men ask that. It almost always comes up at some point. They are always shocked by how low my number is, and sometimes question whether I am telling the truth, to which point I usually stop speaking to them. Why am I going to waste my time with a man who doesn't believe what I say?

Think about it like this, the right guy won't care and will accept you and whatever your # and anything from your past. The bigger question is why you have no problem telling people on a forum your #, yet find it difficult to tell a man you potentially might sleep with? If it's just a matter of you not knowing him well enough, then tell him you will talk to him about it when you know each other better.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 41
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:19:21 PM
This is the easiest question in the world to answer...

"How many men have you slept with?"

"Not enough."

Make sure you have a camera ready to capture their reaction face...
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 42
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:19:57 PM

The bigger question is why you have no problem telling people on a forum your #, yet find it difficult to tell a man you potentially might sleep with? If it's just a matter of you not knowing him well enough, then tell him you will talk to him about it when you know each other better.


Good question. Perhaps because to a certain degree we feel some anonymity here, we express stuff that may not express any other place, or work. It's like a secret family of people that have some inner connection to each other. We are all fascinated with the human condition, with all the good, all the bad, all the drama and all the stories that entails.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 43
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:26:52 PM
I would never answer that question because it's nobody's business, and also because a lot of men have this double standard (slut vs stud) and can't handle it when a woman has had some experience. Madonna/whore complex does exist. I get tested for STDs and as long as I'm clean, it's all good in my book.

I like the "not enough" answer, lol, I'll try that one next time.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 44
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:28:27 PM

I like the "not enough" answer, lol, I'll try that one next time.


That's a fantastic answer. I like it, too.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 45
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:31:38 PM
Sheesh...

This double standard crap is almost as bad as that other thread that attempted to connect homosexuals to pedophilia.

Utter rubbish.

Don't ask, don't tell regarding number of partners.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 46
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:37:24 PM
Or possibly some are implying that experienced individuals are non-monagamous and thus not relationship worthy?

Too many cpu cycles being spent here.

Shutting down.......

Summon CVector to draw the logic diagram:)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 48
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 12:46:14 PM

I'm just really worried - what if this comes up again? What do I say? I'm not proud of my number but it is what it is...


My response to that question would simply be:

"If you'll pardon me for not answering your question, I'll pardon you for asking it."
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 50
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 1:19:05 PM
Mchurch...wise posting. Especially concerning the STDs.

There is the ideal world and then the real world. In the real world a person's past does indeed matter and a person's past is the greatest indicator of future behavior.

Women would do best to limit their number of partners...for health reasons. It is indeed true about those commercials. You are not just being filled with fluid from a male but also from the consequences of his activity with all his partners...their partners, etc. Russian roulette. I went through nursing college until
I got engaged without sex because I saw firsthand what some of those consequences are.

From a relationship perspective. Men are men. Possessive of their woman. Whatever you tell your mate today about sexual history, details, etc. will not be forgotten. Almost all males have a passive aggressive nature to them. Some are socially well adjusted and are good at controlling it...some never are. Some can be abusive either physically or in interaction. Always best to convey any sexual information in generalities rather than specifics (unless you have a STD...Herpes, hepatitis, genital warts,..the list goes on. Then inform your partner). Be specific about sexual past and it may come back to negatively impact your relationship.

We women are masters at deflecting certain questions about our past. This is one area when the reverse of the stereotype male/female questioning occurs. Men often are trying to figure out what we want to hear (does this dress make me look fat? What are you thinking about?, etc). In contrast, when it comes to sex we are very aware of male ego and where to guide the conversation if possible.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 51
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 1:45:59 PM
Smirk at them, touch the tip of their nose or pinch their cheek or do something else to let them know you are talking down to them, and tease,

"It doesn't matter how many. I KNOW I've slept with more men than you ever will in YOURRR lifetime."

Everyone has free license to treat an ***hole as if they are an ***hole. When they act like one, they give away that free license. Of course,it always helps to couch it in humor.

some women actually lower their number of sex partners by not counting the fellows who..."you know". the drunken flings, the releases of stress, the guy in between relationships, the hookups on NYE, the friends who became the FB during summer break. Some women view "fooling around" as not being a relationship, and so it doesn't count. I've had some ex's who surpised me by not counting our time together, until I realized how they had viewed our time together.

meanwhile, if someone likes sex enough to go out and do something about it...why date a prude? If someone asks, it could very well be a red flag. If someone thinks your high mileage "means something" and yet they date you anyway...do you really think its b/c you impressed them to think differently about you? double standards are usually a sign of limited thinking....and you may fall inside that limit, rather than be an exception to their rule.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 52
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 1:51:54 PM

If men are going to think that I automatically lower my number, it doesn't really matter whether I tell the truth 'cause they will mentally add more to it. So I question what the point of the question is in the first place...


You DO?? Yoo hoo……! Have you read any posts on your thread?? Why are you inventing a problem that ISN’T THERE. You must lie because the truth screwed you over in the past and men will think you’re lying anyway….so much more dramatic than having boundaries and simply choosing to walk away. DUH.

Someone with those CSI google skills….I’m suspecting this OP and the one from the sex, drugs-and-booze-autistic-teacher thread are the same person. They both post the exact same vacant headed way. “I don’t get it….I’m scared….I love inventing drama….”


What if a guy asked you Who had the biggest d!ck that you sucked? Why do you have to tell them that? Why is there some lie vs telling the truth situation? You just tell them that's none of their concern!


I can’t! I must be honest, no matter what! They will think I’m lying anyway! Oh woe is me! Oh pooh! Does c0ck sucking count as sex? Bummer! :( *throws self on bed in wailing fit*


Typical double standard that defines women as sluts and men as studs. And it's just a crock of s h it.


Thank you. I dislike obtuse men.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 53
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:06:50 PM
You know - you could just respond with some outlandish number and a wiry half smile. That would be a way to turn the tides of the uneasy feeling with regard to the question. While sating the general desire behind the question - which would probably be prompted out of physical interest.

At least I have to believe that, there is nothing about you that signals any great degree promiscuity, and you have the cute girl next door look going on. So id wager the question had to do with trying to see how open you are about it.

Edit: lol ya that double standard. Guys get STDs too, making them sluts too. Actually guys are inherently slutty, which kind of should be a position to turn the argument in favor of women.
 LittleLadyMaxine
Joined: 4/11/2014
Msg: 54
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:10:54 PM
How do you answer a man who asks you, "How many men have you slept with?" - Just say, "You'd be my first!" Sarcasm is your friend ;)

---------Gary and Marie
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 55
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:11:39 PM
If a woman were too ask me how many women I've slept with, which I can't recall if one ever has, I would probably be inclined too giving a joke response at first. I've joked over the years that I'm still a virgin. Or the complete opposite that I may have slept with over 50 different women. It's sometimes just fun seeing the facial expressions of some when they hear those extreme scenarios...lol. But seriously, is it really anyone elses business but yours?
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 56
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:25:11 PM
m church, I"m a nurse, I'm well aware about the nature of STDs. It is also true that the majority of sexually active people have some kind of STD that they don't know about because they never have any symptoms. HPV and herpes for example. Most STDs will not kill you, except maybe Hep C and HIV if you don't get treatment. HPV can cause cervical cancer but if caught early it is mostly easily cured. I'm not taking this lightly at all, but I'm also not going to be super paranoid about catching STDs. If you are careful and don't hang out with prostitutes, drug users or other "high risk" groups, you will be OK. I'm a lot more worried about other diseases that are not transmitted sexually, like pertussis, the flu, tuberculosis, ebola (lol).
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 57
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:29:31 PM
I don't know really when I lost count, but I figure approximately about the same I just have a general idea of a count I started to keep, but didn't keep up with. The actual number I have no idea if it is below or above 50.

Sort of like a patchwork of mostly slutting around in south Florida. As was custom to becoming a true Floridian. So how did you keep track?

And I agree I never say the actual number I always give a modest number because im STD free and youth and alcohol were really the culprits - I have since repented for my sins, therefore I don't believe the number to be representative of myself anyway. That’s a relatively acceptable delusion right?

Though speaking of STDs I remember a rich ex of mine who came from a prestigious family. And this sister has a PhD, and is articulate and well spoken.

You would never guess genital warts but-------- HPV doesn’t discriminate. – Really poignant of why not accepting status as a rule to base sexual hygiene is the best method of approach.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 58
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 2:37:51 PM

There is the ideal world and then the real world. In the real world a person's past does indeed matter and a person's past is the greatest indicator of future behavior.


...perfectly said!!

On that basis - I WILL judge you if I find out you've been the town bicycle.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 59
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:00:39 PM
^^^^

Oh DEFINITELY!!!!

Because people don't change at ALL throughout their ENTIRE lives?!?!?!?!?

Sorry...Dr. Philism's aside....MANY people of my age were sexually promiscuous in the 80's and have the STD's to prove it...and guess what????
Quite a few who didn't jump on that train STILL ended up with a "parting gift" from a partner or the ONLY one night-stand they EVER had in their lives....

Almost without exception, ALL of them have gone on to have loving, monogamous relationships and those who slept with more people prior to marriage behaved NO differently, and were no more likely to cheat OR have an STD...

Anybody who believes that a person's past sexual behaviour is an accurate indicator of their likely future behaviour is trying out a pithy sound byte for a talk show, nothing more, nothing less, imo And they are borderline delusional about human behaviour...People DO and are capable of LEARNING and changing their behaviour, especially if there are negative consequences...
Such as desiring a REAL connection with someone after having MANY not-so-real ones with a variety of partners beforehand...and realizing that you DO want "more" than just a fast fvck....

I believe that actually getting to know someone before you jump into bed with them will give you all the info that you need about a person...without the need for invasive questions or pre-judgements....

Unfortunately there's just NO cure for narrow-mindedness and/or ignorance...
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 60
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:08:15 PM
Dee, you said it perfectly. I was a "good girl" before I got married, never slept around, was always faithful, had been with three guys, and I STILL ended up with "parting gifts". But some dumb dude is going to judge me? Just another way guys want to control women's sexuality. Shaming them and calling them "town bicycle". Hope these guys end up jerking off to internet porn instead of getting laid by "sluts".
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