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 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 61
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?Page 3 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
^^^. Spot on Dee.

I can't imagine being asked that question nor answering it. It's juvenile and oh so high school. And all this bullshyt about "it's relevant because someone may have been abusive or traumatized her in the past"....and?? This is important how?? The number of sexual partners is relevant here....please explain how. I can't believe that to any adult male....and no male under 30 has responded in this thread so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are all ADULT males, that when you meet a woman of over 30, you're concerned about her sex number. Really?? The one doing the most yammering is 45, do you know how juvenile you sound? You actually want to know how many men your 45 year old date has slept with? Do you have a magic cut off number?? Do you do the math over dinner or wait until dessert is served? Unless she's charging by the hour or the blow job, who cares, she's a healthy female and hopefully she had a healthy sex life. Numbers...for crying out loud, some people are so stupid .
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 62
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:27:32 PM

Anybody who believes that a person's past sexual behaviour is an accurate indicator of their likely future behaviour is trying out a pithy sound byte for a talk show, nothing more, nothing less, imo And they are borderline delusional about human behaviour...People DO and are capable of LEARNING and changing their behaviour, especially if there are negative consequences...


Rubbish!!

Why would sexual behavior be any different than any other human behavior? In addition, sexual behavior can often be linked to, and an indication of, more serious upbringing issues (and I'm not going to get into examples of those - I'm sure you can find plenty of extreme examples where this is linked!).

I'm not going to go as far as saying all those that have had lots of partners have upbringing issues, but it certainly does call into question what prompted the promiscuous behavior and what her upbringing/past was like.


Unfortunately there's just NO cure for narrow-mindedness and/or ignorance...


...absolutely agree on that one............VERY narrow minded if you don't think past sexual behavior won't be an indicator of future behavior...........
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 63
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:29:52 PM
As far as past behavior being an indicator of future behavior.....I had very limited sexual experience and only three sex partners before I got married back in 1992. Based on that, that would mean that I'll be a "good girl" until I die right? WRONG. During the entire course of my marriage, I had always wondered what it would be like to be with different men because I never got it out of my system. So when I divorced after 20 years, I made up for lost time. Now I'm satiated and don't have the urge to get naked with right away anymore. The guys who are so concerned about a woman's number need to marry virgins - but don't be surprised if they get the itch later on.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 64
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:40:03 PM

Hope these guys end up jerking off to internet porn instead of getting laid by "sluts".



Really?? The one doing the most yammering is 45, do you know how juvenile you sound? You actually want to know how many men your 45 year old date has slept with?


Oh my.........seems I struck a nerve and bunched up a bunch of panties on this one.........

Let me guess - you all have high numbers.................and I didn't even have to ask!!! LOLOLOL!!!

Have a great weekend all!!
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 65
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:41:53 PM
I personally like women like Karma. All I want is to be just one more, just like the rest of her one night "love story's". JK............
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 66
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:55:46 PM
Nope, I don't know if I have high numbers or low numbers as I've never discussed it with an actual adult where we sat around and compared. I was married for a long, long time and didn't cheat. Like I said, is there a magic number? I've always thought this was the stupidest question and no ones business. I've never asked it of a guy either. If he has a clean bill of health, I'm good with it. And what someone did in their 20's has no relevance on what they do in their 40's or 50's. I smoked dope, had sex, took other drugs, drank booze every chance I had and partied hardy before I settled down, got married and had children....you know, grew up. And this has a bearing on my life now?

Date men, not boys.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 67
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 3:57:41 PM
You two are like the creepy booger eating boys in school who do anything to try to get a girl’s attention.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 68
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:10:42 PM
Date men, not boys


Ahhh!!!! There it is!! The "your not a REAL man unless............" line. This one was common with single moms who would cry and whine when guys won't buck up and pay for them and some other guy's kids........

Now I see its applied unilaterally to the guys who won't take those overly "experienced" ladies..........

LOL........some things never change............


You two are like the creepy booger eating boys


Na....I flicked mine. That way I could always look up on the ceiling and admire my handiwork.........
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 69
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:12:31 PM
I'm going to use "Don't ask, don't tell" if anyone ever asks again.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 70
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:13:45 PM
Some men seem to have this very easy formula (usually the ones that have a "low number" and are envious that women have an incredibly easy time getting sex at the drop of a hat - that's what most men wish they could pull of).

Slut = any woman who has had more sex than I have (which is 95% of all women)
**** = a slut who won't have sex with me

The truth probably is - and most men hate the reality of THAT - even average women can get sex effortlessly and with men that are handsome. Men, even the handsome ones, have to work much harder to get sex. And that just seems to bug them to no end. The men that complain about women with "high numbers" (probably anything more than two) are the ones that have not had much sex and it bugs the crap out of them. Insecurity and jealousy.

And yes, I have a "high" number (double digits) and it's been fun. But now, I got it out of my system . I haven't had sex in months (by choice mostly), and even though I have dates planned this weekend, I am not going to get physical because I don't have the urge anymore. I have experienced all that I want to experience sexually, and while I still perk up when a hot young guy messages me and wants to get it on, I've been declining. So much for past behavior future behavior again.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 72
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:20:26 PM
Yes, date men, not boys.

I've only dated men and none have asked that question. I've always thought it was a juvenile question asked by 18 or 20 year old boys (almost men) like in the OP's original post. My response to her was - date men, not boys.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 73
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:27:49 PM

Say (as I do when men go into their life stories and it's really sometimes TMI): "The past is the past. What does it matter?"

This. A woman can be careless and get an STD/get pregnant from sleeping with one guy and can sleep with 100 and do it safely. Numbers don't mean much of anything. What people do between relationships is their business. What really matters is if your health is affected....if it's not then it makes no difference.

Tell him you'll ask if you want to know his business as well.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 75
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:33:49 PM

The men that complain about women with "high numbers" (probably anything more than two) are the ones that have not had much sex and it bugs the crap out of them. Insecurity and jealousy.


OK lets get something clear - I'm not the one complaining. Its you ladies that have your panties in a bunch about some of us males that won't date women with high numbers. From my point of view I just simply dump and go on to the next one. No harm, no foul - and I certainly won't complain if you want to judge me because I think this way.

And just one other thing.......do you really think I would be writing this stuff, in this manner, on this site, if I WASN'T getting my fair share of sex?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 77
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:46:07 PM
Clearly hitting a nerve with both genders here.. and excuses being made.
I find my Life more mellow when I don't have to make ANY excuses for my behaviour.
Personally I don't find it a stupid Q.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 79
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:02:42 PM

I'm 25, and my number is lower than friends but it's 10 -


^^^^ you and your friends I must say have keep busy in those 25 short years of life....

As I might have those big numbers like you.... but being a Catholic then... did keep my thingy under raps plucking anything that was female.....but I still feel that is quality that counts in those that count in the long run... & still now......jmo
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 80
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:03:42 PM
When men ask me this question I tell them it doesn't matters or I'd rather not discuss it.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 81
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:18:57 PM
No m church, you are completely not getting it. I was married for 20 years, my sex life then was boring and routine, and due to the lack of variety before I got married, I wanted to finally experience what I had been missing for 20 years. Guys of different ages, ethnic backgrounds, etc. As far as sexual acts, I'm not very "crazy" or into outlandishly weird stuff. I'm pretty "vanilla" actually. But now I have experimented and experienced different men, and now I know what I really want and focus on that. I can now tune out the other distractions because I have experienced them already and I know now for sure they are not my thing. Now I'm open to experience new things with the guy I really want to be with once I meet him.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 82
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 5:44:58 PM

Posted by silverhawk_tkn:
"...I WILL judge you if I find out you've been the town bicycle..."

Hey, wait one darn cotton-pickin' second there! ;-)
It takes balance, skill, and strength to ride a bicycle well. LOL.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 84
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:08:43 PM
l1ghtm3up...the wonderful thing is that time is clearly on your side. :-)
You will almost certainly find a great guy who trips your trigger soon.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 86
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:36:34 PM
guy as I think he has heard about me from a past boyfriend and wants me for one thing.


Hmmm, not because im perverted or anything, but, mind clarifying?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 87
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:46:39 PM
I'm a nurse, I'm well aware about the nature of STDs. It is also true that the majority of sexually active people have some kind of STD that they don't know about because they never have any symptoms.

Here's the thing: It's not about STDs, really. Otherwise, if one's Not a virgin, the question would be "Are you clean / when's the last time you got clean screening results?" Not to say that's not a concern one has -- but there's an overarching elephant in the room -- one that made religious-right people freak out about the HPV vaccine (which they did Not like) -- a Cultural thing. Even if one's not a traditionalist, underneath it all -- many will want the other person's # to at least not be High -- regardless of clean test results. Think about it. Say there was an injection and it killed all STDs across the board -- even new ones. It was a magic wildcard or whatever. You think suddenly guys would be like "Oh, it's cool you slept with a ton of guys!"

The movie clerks had a great argument about the guy's GF getting mad at him for sleeping with a bit too many women, while she hasn't with men ... then he asked how many d!cks she sucked and she said 37. His issue wasn't disease -- it's not like he'd have her get a screening and she came out 100% fine he'd be like "Oh, that's cool." Let's just be honest. It's the visual of her chugging c0ck in his mind. :) Her NOT being with him. That's what the issue is really about, even before the advent of STDs in our modern age. STDs were a god-send to punish those who fooled around too much (hence some people not liking an HPV vaccine).

Why would sexual behavior be any different than any other human behavior? In addition, sexual behavior can often be linked to, and an indication of, more serious upbringing issues

Here's the problem: Just like some reasonably bright folks can't understand that the average "number" for a guy is going to = the average "number" for a girl, they're also going to jump the gun on bad assumptions -- influenced by their "gut" -- or culturally-ingrained disdain of someone having sex with someone else before -- if outside of JUST a boyfriend or girlfriend. And even dislike if they had more than 1 with BF/GF when we're talking young adults barely out of high school.

If one really wants to see how many is too many -- well, that's a function of how many years they've been single & active in the dating world. Then you have The Clerks' notion of "sucking 37 d!cks", so actual sex isn't required either. It gets complicated, right? Why? It's an EMOTIONAL issue that's going to taint things.

That's not to say that if a 25 year old guy had sex or oral sex with 100 women, or a 25 year old gal did the same -- that wouldn't be a red flag about them. Or if they're 35 and a virgin, that that wouldn't be a red flag as well.

But let's face it -- it's not really about "danger" or any objective/accurate assessment. Some Insecure people are going to Falsely apply a mere # -- without a storyline -- to "what is kosher" in their Emotional Mind, when it's "too high" in their own book -- even when it's not on some (objective) high fringe #.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 88
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:50:25 PM
Let's put a silver lining on that clean gal that made her fortune at the ranch in Nevada...

Her next boyfriend will be dazzled by her experience:)
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 90
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 7:17:37 PM
^^^
You're so young. You should be having fun and not taking this stuff toooo seriously.

Don't let your sense of self worth be decided by some a$$ clown.

You have plenty of time to find someone that doesn't make you overthink things:)
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 91
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How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 8:07:11 PM
My girlfriends say you should take the guy's number and divide it by 2. I personally never tell my number. It's no one's business but my own. My boyfriend knows I haven't had sex unethically (an attached guy, a sister's ex, a person to elevate myself in life-teacher, boss, etc), so the fact sex occurred is a moot point. You aren't a bad or "loose" person because you experimented for a couple of years. You'll find a guy who won't judge you based on a number. There are guys who will, and that's ok. Just don't date those guys.
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 92
How to answer 'how many men have you slept with?' question?
Posted: 1/2/2015 9:47:30 PM
I can honestly say I'd like the answer to be zero -find an awesome person and live happily ever after -but things happen.
I think it's best to focus on each other and not bring such things into a relationship unless very important.
I want to think about one person -forsaking all others in that regard.
The question is often asked out of insecurity -and can be the beginning of even more insecurity. Comparisons often follow -even if not expressed.
People want to know that they are first in the mind of their significant other -and that's a good thing -so it is wise to make them first and avoid unnecessary references to others who have had your heart or body.
I would not want to be with someone who wanted less.
I personally view a committed romantic relationship -and the other person -as sacred. One should avoid bringing anything into it which would distract from it, make that sort of love less exclusive or otherwise desecrate it.
It's important to feel someone you commit to isn't likely to cheat -is serious about commitment -but an interrogation about past relationships is not the best way to go about that.
I know another would have some sort of past, but I would not feel insecure if the relationship was good and I had no reason to doubt the other was committed to exclusivity -but I would not want to consider certain aspects of their past even if they were perfectly innocent.
I know they would probably have loved another deeply -and would even hope they had the opportunity when so many live in loneliness -but that is theirs. I can appreciate it, but would want to be their focus as I would respect them by focusing on them.
Perhaps they may have experimented without any sort of emotional attachment -but as long as that was not presently the case, that is also theirs.
It is a sort of jealousy -but jealousy isn't always a bad thing. It is not a jealousy of others, but a jealousy for the purity and strength of the relationship.
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