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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of se      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 67
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm going to go with crazy because I think it's too much drama and
too much too read.

Besides, people make up stuff all the time in here...I never know what's
true or what isn't. I only respond if it's interesting or funny. The POF
PHD doctors in here crack me up as well.

So, yeah...I'm going with crazy.
:o)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 68
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/5/2015 5:49:32 PM
I don't think I have a PhD, i'm working on a bs basically , it says it in my profile I talk about what I know, not what I think I know. And I never said anything about a specific diagnosis. I was actually trying to get help from people who were into abnormal psych. Not discuss DSM,


When you try to force your perspective, even though you may think you're right, you are the one that comes across as the heavy and the abuser. So walk away. Move on.


Don't you think that after an experience like that the victim would be traumatized and not thinking clearly? When I see an act of violence, abuse, whatever - I report it, I don't care. Especially if I am the only party that knows. And she may have been lying about the whole thing but what kind of psycho would do that.

And this context not to me, but her mom. She lives with her parents for one thing.

At least for me, its my perspective, I feel forced by it. I don't like to be put in a situation like that. Where I feel like my word, or action could have changed something bad.

Am I supposed to think its ok to hear my neighbor beat his wife a few times a week too?
Should I just let that go, or at least knock on the door and ask them if they

I don't understand the problem here, if you went to a police department and filed a report - then it would be a serious matter.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 69
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/5/2015 6:36:17 PM
But you didn't report it, you texted ( texted I imagine that was a treat) her MOTHER!
I have moved to the camp of this guy is a loose cannon
You fib, since you told her Mother you aren't the only person who knows
Wait for the restraining order
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 70
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/5/2015 6:51:05 PM
Yeah her mother, who lives with her, that a guy she is dating raped her.

So you could live with that then Ouija? The girl gets raped and you say don't say something- what happens when she gets raped again ? Or worse? Raped and beat up? You think this guy is stable?

How would you handle it then? Since its so easy to argue against. Keep a rapist on the street, why not? If anything the text helped out

Give me one example of how this is a good idea to let slide. And no im not going to go to the authorities with it. Shes had her parents a bail her out of plenty before that's why she still lives with them. That and rent out here is steep.

States have a wide variety of mandatory reporting

Defining Sexual Violence: How does your state define sexual assault crimes?
•Mandatory Reporting: When — and how — you're required to contact the authorities.
•Confidentiality Laws: Are conversations between victims and counselors kept confidential?
•HIV/AIDS Testing of Sexual Offenders: When testing is allowed — or required.
•Statutes of Limitations: Is it too late to prosecute a crime committed years ago?
•Termination of Rapists' Parental Rights: Does your state allow rapists' to have parental rights like custody and visitation?

1 in 5 female college students is sexually assaulted during her time in school.
You think those numbers are acceptable?
The high rates of campus sexual assault are due mostly to a small percentage of men w=ho assault multiple women.
Meaning like repeat offenders,

So small number of men raping a large amount of women, wonder where they should have been?

Your right I didn't call the cops, I told her mom so she could take care of it. But answer that question. What would you do?
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/5/2015 7:36:26 PM
My Goodness, young man you need to get a life. let them figure it out by THEMSELVES.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 72
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/5/2015 8:09:46 PM
Oh, wow, you again I think you're repeated by everyone?

So we got another person down for -
'doesn't matter if she gets raped again or hurt worse, the right thing to do is stay silent about it'

Got it.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 73
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/6/2015 2:37:34 AM
I got upset at her and said all that because she tried to turn it from "rape" into "taken advantage of." And im so tired of getting screwed around by her. My brother saw her and her reactions and didn't believe she was raped, I didn't either at first I questioned her till I saw the stain.

Anyway I think she was trying to invoke something out of me, I don't know. She can be very hard to read when shes upset, still it seemed like she was making it up as she went along. Because my brother was around for both those incidents and he heard about the stuff and said the same thing.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with this girl, but her mom got the message. The girl came over to my place started yelling at me, I yelled at her telling her I can't ever believe any word that comes out of her mouth. I told her to get out of my place, she gets all weird with me like jumping onto the floor and groveling wanting to have sex.

Turns out she just denied it and said I was out of my mind. But this is what I wrote. . .
This is Bobloblaw the guy (name) dated some time ago - (name) was raped last night by (2minuteman,) she isn't taking it as serious as she needs to. She wants to take superficial action. That is why I feel accountable to break her trust. Because its what happens after I do nothing that I cant live with - sorry for being an agent of such heart-rending news
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 74
He really needs to get a life
Posted: 1/6/2015 8:29:06 AM
I don't think vector can "fix" anything here....and frankly.....I think this chick is completely screwed....I hope vector can find some peace without her in his life.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 75
He really needs to get a life
Posted: 1/6/2015 11:16:51 AM
I think it’s beyond cruel, that you would text your friend’s mother to tell her about her daughter’s rape. I couldn’t imagine being the mother of a young woman, what it would be like to read that in a cowardly text message, and wonder if it’s true, and wonder what I should do, why didn’t my daughter tell me herself, is she hurt, is she all right….what the fvck were you thinking….oh let me guess, you were thinking about YOU.

You railed on and on about how you were going to lure this rapist, beat him up even though he’s bigger than you, make him swallow blood and spit teeth, punch him in the ribs, big bad you, but you didn’t even have the GUTS to meet with your friend’s mother in person, in a quiet setting, and gently tell her what her daughter had told you…and WHY you were betraying your friend’s trust and confidence in you, because you supposedly care and are worried about her.

If she didn’t respond to your text message, you were gonna email her the news about her daughter’s rape at HER WORK. Then when you supposedly found out she got your text, you wrote on here, “hahahaha.” What the fvck is funny about it?

IF this story is true, I don’t believe you give a damn about her. She was raped…YOU can’t sleep…YOU can’t deal with responsibility of knowing…..YOU are “implicated”… YOU have to do something, YOU YOU YOU. You don’t care about her!

When you were “comforting” her about the rape, what did you say to her besides demanding she go to the police? Let me guess….you went on a raving lunatic, “I’m gonna kill him, let me at him!” scream fest, JUST like you did on this thread. Did you even ask her if she was all right? Was she hurt? Did she want to go to the hospital? Does she need anything? What can YOU do for HER? And don’t go on NOW and say you did those things, because after four pages of your chest thumping bravado, there is no way I’d believe you.

When she justifiably got angry with you for breaking her confidence, destroying her trust, by sneaking a cowardly text message to her mother about her rape, instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I was worried about you and didn’t know what to do,” instead of being a decent human being, a decent FRIEND, you told her she could “go get raped all day long,” and get out of YOUR life??

That was absolutely the best thing you could do for her. Now stay the hell out of HER life, because NOBODY needs friends like you.


I don't like to be put in a situation like that.


Aw. Poor YOU. Passive aggressives LOVE to play victim.


I told her to get out of my place, she gets all weird with me like jumping onto the floor and groveling wanting to have sex.


Oh for fvck’s sake.

Get some professional help.
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 76
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/7/2015 12:30:54 AM

****UPDATE******

The girl was raped by the scumbag in her car, so everyone who basically said - you're overstating the severity of these huge red flags. Maybe there is something to it, evaluation is key, conclusions are not. So just in case I wasn't given the credibility I deserved - its a damn good thing I'm going into this profession.~ Vector, msg 45

She has a skirt that has his nut on it, but she said she washed it. Actually she came over with it still on. No injuries, aside from rape. The guy lasted like 60 seconds. Thats why she downgraded rape to "took advantage of" ..I explained no that wouldnt hold up in court ... your both law students~ Vector, msg 47

I know where the school is and I know what time it starts. I will get his number/email from her phone. And uh, I can be pretty descriptive as a guy whos mind is broken, not a tough sell given my experience, but I don't think it is. I think beating a guy for raping a women is the right thing to do, screw the law. ~ v, msg 47


 So yeah, I think ill post this and not care about authorities. A threat of violence on a POF website because a girl got raped? Oh wow, lets see.... I wonder if i've had worse things to fear in my life...... i dont know this kindergarten country, i swear to god.~ Vector msg 51

 Just because I want to beat the guys face and teeth in doesnt mean im going to do it, that would really put me away. That is why I took the time to devise a less painful method of humbling him. I wont wind him that bad till I hit him in the kidney, then he will be willing to listen im sure.~ V, msg 56

I say fk the PR, lets get some justice. Just have to figure out a way to do it, im getting his email/phone number off her - thats step 1, then step 2 is her flipping out on me if he says anything, step 3 will depend upon if he does. Then step 4 will depend on that.

But there is an escalation of force protocol made up by my brain. It just sucks, because its hard to gather intel when the person who has it all is afraid of the guy im trying to get info of. Im pretty sure she doesn't want me doing all of that, but she shouldn't have left me 1 of 3 people ~ V, msg 58

 I just figure if a deck the guy a good couple times, he will kinda understand rape is bad. I just need to do it right~ V, msg 53






Vector you want this woman; she rejected you yet she thought you enough of a buddy to confide in you.
You are driven to an insane state after learning she has sex with a guy you consider a “scumbag” while she rejects you.
She was not raped; that is your conclusion, not hers.
The fact that you have threatened him with physical harm, and you have the where-with-all to carry out said threats could get you minimally one year in jail. You cannot threaten to harm others; that is a crime.

Criminal threats is the crime of putting someone in fear.
California Penal Code 422 PC defines the crime of "criminal threats" (formerly known as terrorist threats).
A "criminal threat" is when you threaten to kill or physically harm someone and
that person is thereby placed in a state of reasonably sustained fear for his/her safety or for the safety of his/her immediate family,
the threat is specific and unequivocal and
you communicate the threat verbally, in writing, or via an electronically transmitted device.1
Criminal threats can be charged whether or not you have the ability to carry out the threat...and even if you don't actually intend to execute the threat.2
Penalties
Penal Code 422 PC is a wobbler, which means that prosecutors may file it as either a misdemeanor or a felony.  If you are convicted of the misdemeanor, you face up to one year in a county jail.  If you are convicted of the felony, you face up to four years in the California state prison.3 Using a dangerous or deadly weapon increases your sentence by one year.4
And because a criminal threats conviction is a "strike" under California's
three strikes law, you must serve at least 85% of your sentence before you are eligible for release.

PENAL CODE 
SECTION 422-422.4 
422. (a) Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which
will result in death or great bodily injury to another person, with
the specific intent that the statement, made verbally, in writing, or
by means of an electronic communication device, is to be taken as a
threat, even if there is no intent of actually carrying it out,
which, on its face and under the circumstances in which it is made,
is so unequivocal, unconditional, immediate, and specific as to
convey to the person threatened, a gravity of purpose and an
immediate prospect of execution of the threat, and thereby causes
that person reasonably to be in sustained fear for his or her own
safety or for his or her immediate family's safety, shall be punished
by imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed one year, or by
imprisonment in the state prison.



You have, in this ridiculous thread which is merely a statement of your jealously over a woman you cannot have, placed your entire career in jeopardy.
Print this entire thread out and take it to your therapist. Hope that you will not get arrested.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 77
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/7/2015 8:53:28 PM
Im not worried about that, just seriously tired of bullshit like this. And I want her? lol no. I want her to stay away from me with that shit. Especially since shes still interested in him, if hes that impulsive and potentially dangerous I don't want to know about it.

Do I think she was raped? I doubt it, I don't know what she was doing but its not cool to lie about shit like that either. I don't know what the point was of saying that Especially to me, she knows I hate hearing about shit like that.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/7/2015 9:15:15 PM
CTRL: Vector, I've been out for the evening and just checked the forum and caught the tail end of this thread. I haven't read each post. My understanding from previous posts is that you are recovering from PTSD (and I assume from the medication threads comorbid major depression). I can appreciate that you are very upset and concerned about your friend - rightfully so. I gather that the three of you are students. Could you go to the University tomorrow and ask to speak to a sexual assault advocate/counsellor. They are very experienced at handling these issues and they could be your ally in this process. Given your PTSD - a stress disorder, you will need to make sure that you try to balance your responses to this crime with your need for a more grounded mental health state. This is not an either or situation. You clearly have learnt to reach out for help in the past, and it would be prudent for you to do this again. Your friend CTRL needs help and so do you my friend. Take good care.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 79
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 12:50:47 AM
meh im fine with it - id much rather it of been her lying about it, then it actually happening. To me that word rape represents a disgusting act of violence in the most invasive and perverse way. Anyone capable of doing something like that, they get a little something special in prison.

Sex offenders and men who assault women are the lowest form of criminal. And you would think that a bunch of felons would have no moral imperative but you'd be wrong. She knows what she did, and she knows how I feel about that sort of thing. I think she was screwing with me. But it doesn't matter anymore because I had her number blocked, and if she comes over ill just leave her outside, till she goes away.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 80
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 9:57:56 AM
CV
Seriously, I would like to echo what flaneur has just said.
Nobody here disagrees with you about sexual violence/assault. I think most of us find dating/relationship violence,including coerced sex, to be just as rephrensible, maybe even more so because it violates an already existing bond.

While it sounds completely unlike you,perhaps you are right to sever from this woman,perhaps your bond with her has become toxic?
But please, speak to someone IRL who has the training/capabilities to help you. Someone who specializes in sexual violence victims-which INCLUDES those close to the person actually assaulted.
Cindy O
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 81
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 10:04:47 AM
Oh yeah shes been toxic I would rather mainline some damn toxic waste than deal with that crazy women again. At least theres a chance it could turn me into a super hero.

Shes had it, I can't deal with the stuff that comes out of her mouth. I've never had to deal with someone so twisted, for apparently no reason. Or at least one I sure as hell can't figure out.

This is why after everything I just get my closure - send out my survey to see what I need to improve on and move on. But the email friendship didn't stay that way so then that happened, and im good on it all. Blocked and spam marked.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 3:24:05 PM
CTRL: I am very concerned about you. You are not listening. You are not in a good place right now and you need to get some help. I've been following your posts on the forum, you've identified that you have:

-developmental trauma
-combat trauma
-medical trauma
-school stressors
-past gf issues
-current gf issues
-current friend issues
-family issues
These ae a lot of issues for someone to hold and deal with. Your posts have become increasingly chaotic. I'm very concerned about you CTRL. Please contact your mental health professional (or the counselling service at your University) and show them your posts of the last month. Something very serious is happening with you and can only get worse if you don't get the professional help you need.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 3:37:47 PM
CTRL flooding these forums is clearly a cry for help. Dude, get into some form of PROFFESIONAL help to defuse that mental time bomb in your head. Your high IQ is betraying you.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 84
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 4:06:31 PM
current gf issues? no

I think im doing well actually, that friend who has been a friend who was a gf that I broke up with not even a gf I was with her for 4-5 dates and that was it. Not the fwb friend I havnt been in contact with that one. But im not in contact with either of the now.

I think anyone would avoid contact with ex that wants to be friends out of the blue and had a lot of weird problems. That don't seem to add up or make sense

Sometimes my posts are joke posts, meaning they wont make sense or very little sense mostly humor
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 85
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 10:14:46 PM
forumfellathesequel

I am with you. These long winded postings are so tedious I don't bother to read them, but some do, obviously.
You made me laugh about the snowblower lol!!
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 86
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/8/2015 11:29:23 PM
No it was about questionable actions that seemed abnormal - but calculative - and that's when I thought I would ask to see if others could make sense out of it. But it was mostly a problem of posing the question right. Not that it would have mattered.

A cry for help? No, this is just a place to kill time. I can see how my candid way of talking comes off as odd. I mostly like to joke around, so if you always take me seriously, then don't. But as for the legitimacy, I don't know what that girl was doing or what is real. I just thought since I broke up with her and she wanted to be a friend it would be a****move not to.

You know what is annoying? It's being expected to perform without fail a process that requires chance to succeed. Not effort. Though, the other person doesn't understand the difference between opportunity and effort.

Also I never said I had a high IQ so I don't know why that keeps coming up.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 87
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/9/2015 1:22:44 AM
Like I said I don't know whether it actually happened, my brother said she didn't sound sincere. I noticed that too. Which is why I thought she was lying. but then got upset when I said that so I backed off the issue.

But its hard to say. and the things the guy did don't even make any damn sense. You know insulting a photo that she sent me first. I don't know if anything it proves how gullible I can be. When im not paying attention, I tend to give friends benefit of the doubt before they earn honesty

I don't really care about her behavior, im just glad its not subject to effecting me. I was trying to figure out that other behavior that seemed dysfunctional and was but for other reasons.

My behavior stateside has been fine, I was recently the victim of domestic assault from a psycho ex who kicked the shit out of my door and scratched under my eye. I denied she scratched me - she said she could have and they arrested her as I asked them not charge her for any wrongdoing on my property .

Anyway... long story short is, I put up with a lot of crap from that girl, and I wouldn't consider myself dangerous so speak for what you know. I have a problem with rape, specifically do not like it, it aggravates me. So deal with it
 str2015
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 88
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 1/10/2015 7:50:19 PM
This is a great post and I think it's cool you care enough about your friend to post it, I liked it alot, helped me figure out some stuff about a recent break up, thanks... :)
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 89
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 5/10/2015 6:25:25 AM
Oh vector :)

Well assume all behavior serves a purpose or function of some kind, firstly.

Probably good idea to just of kept the hell out of it because she likely will go through stages of thinking he is treating her well and liking him and then treating her bad and not liking him, if you say something that is turning her away from him or insulting him and then she sees him as good, it will make her resent you possibly.

I'd think of it more in terms of how to monitor your own behavior and be helpful and there for here rather than analyze his behavior and give definite instruction, which she probably won't follow anyway.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 90
Passive aggressive complex - Malicious intent to dissolve sense of self worth? Or am I just crazy?
Posted: 5/10/2015 7:28:09 PM
Anyone else notice that Aradia is back as Siennarh and Ctrlvectors old posts are getting revived? *groans*

Yup its me.
LeChat or Pew or Penny, Penny, Penny?
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 91
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