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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50      Home login  
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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 51
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
For every LDR you hear about, there are 1,000 others that did not workout.
 pro100pk2
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 52
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/11/2015 2:16:20 PM
Love for all ages :)
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 53
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/11/2015 2:40:34 PM
^^^^^ Yeah, ok. I'll buy that.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 54
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:13:40 PM
flaneur

Just wondering why your guy does not visit you occasionally in Toronto? It is all well and good that you can pay for your own flights but it seems all one way with all that. I would want the guy to at least offer to pay for an airfare now and then.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 55
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/12/2015 5:49:33 AM

I would want the guy to at least offer to pay for an airfare now and then.


That's probably why it's flaneur going out with this guy and not you, correct?

I highly doubt any reply/answer/explanation to you, from her, will stop you from "wondering".
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 56
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/12/2015 11:50:29 AM
^^^^ what harm is that question? Flanuer has been posting about that guy for a very long time. Why publicly post something you don’t want to discuss?

It doesn’t surprise me, though, that any suggestion of a man contributing financially to a “relationship” is met with hostility. :/
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 57
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/12/2015 2:56:26 PM
While he's not on one side of the country, he IS within 150 miles of where I am now living, and will be within 20 of where I [potentially] plan to live.... and he's down here at least weekly with his 'baby'... (he is in first 6 months of starting up new business and is down here frequently on distribution of product duties... )
I have to go up that way at least once a month during 2016 to explore the various towns and university/working in the future options, seek rentals and respite/community care needs for my son...

Not knowing any of his details - I made contact with him because we had interests (and it appears values) in common, and I wanted to 'favorite' him so that when "I" was available to date, he might be also....

So as it turns out, we've got all the timing and opportunities to take things slowly [he's also only 6 weeks out of a 4 year relationship so I could even be a rebound friend] over the next year until I relocate...

So while I was not desperate to be in a relationship, and open to the prospect of waiting, it turns out that my decision to contact him - despite the odds of actually connecting seeming futile - have paid off for both of us in this case...

So 'why' do people with a distance between them make contact??
I think simply; because sometimes, some people take an optimistic chance....
 sapphiresky242
Joined: 11/17/2015
Msg: 58
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/12/2015 2:58:08 PM

It doesn’t surprise me, though, that any suggestion of a man contributing financially to a “relationship” is met with hostility. :/


Hope you weren't serious with that statement. If you were, have you read these forums?

Before I was married my fiancé was transferred and it was a ferry ride back and forth on the weekend. It got pricey after awhile. We managed. Now that ferry ride is $75.00 each way. Still pricey.

I know a couple (not married, not engaged) that are like Flanuer in that she lives in Vancouver and he lives in LA. She does the majority of travel as she can take her work with her as she is self employed. I've not asked "who pays" as its not my business. They seem happy and have been doing it for 9 years.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 59
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/12/2015 4:24:09 PM

flaneur

Just wondering why your guy does not visit you occasionally in Toronto? It is all well and good that you can pay for your own flights but it seems all one way with all that. I would want the guy to at least offer to pay for an airfare now and then.


To answer your question, yes Peter does visit me in Toronto. I currently spend mid Dec to March and June-Sept. in San Francisco. I am still working, so I do my research while I'm in SF. When I'm in Toronto, I travel extensively. I'm often out of town 3 nights a week. So, if Peter were to visit me in Toronto for 2 weeks, I would be gone for 6 days. Not very appealing for him. He has joined me on a few trips (Stratford, Montreal, Ottawa) but frankly, I'm lecturing all day and I'm tired in the evening, so it's not much fun for him. When he does come to visit, 2 weeks in the late Spring and two weeks in the Fall I make sure I'm not traveling on those dates.

There is no reason for Peter to pay for my airfare or any of my expenses when I visit him, I'm completely capable of covering my own expenses. However, we do have our own financial system.... the third wallet (my idea!). He or I will carry a third wallet that we each stock with an equal amount of cash and we use it for all of our mutual expenses, gas, movies, groceries, restaurants etc. I can't be bothered keeping track of who spends what...so this system works for both of us.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/13/2015 3:43:59 AM

It doesn’t surprise me, though, that any suggestion of a man contributing financially to a “relationship” is met with hostility. :/


Do you actually define my statement as hostile? And do you actually think my statement has anything to do with the financial contribution of said boyfriend? I didn't bring up ANYTHING to do with money. NOTHING.

How about this one for ignorant comments......

Why is it that the women are the ones bringing up money when talking about relationships? (sounds pretty ignorant and arrogant, doesn't it?)

If you actually knew me, I actually believe money, and the beliefs surrounding it, is one of the biggest problems in this world. Not just dating.
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 11/29/2015
Msg: 61
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/13/2015 4:41:25 AM
I really like the third wallet idea. That's the best dating tip Ive read on here in years :)
Its amazing how something so simple could relieve the tension of expenses.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 62
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/13/2015 7:18:35 AM
Another name for the third wallet is joint bank account, which is what a lot of couples use to pay for mutual expenses. The only difference is most people won't do a joint bank account unless they are co-habitating.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 63
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/13/2015 3:37:15 PM
Thee are many possibilities here. Far beyond the scope of my typing inclinations.

Just a few are one party REtired or close to it.

Available funds and the time to travel/fly/drive on a "regular" basis.

Access to "buddy passes". Roughly, flying at 10 to 20 cents on the dollar but it IS flying standby. Not for the weak of heart or folks on a fixed timetable. Usually means a crack of dawn or late night flight.

An attitude of not being tied to a certain City because of friends, relatives, kids etc.

For anyone, with many years left in the workforce but a decent job that they "enjoy"? Probably not a good idea unless and until they have exhausted all the local possibilities.

Not something I would do with a regular Fish but have done twice with Forum Fish back when the school was much larger and people were more civil and less bitter and it was much easier to see the "real them" from their Forum input. One is still a good friend 7 years later.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 64
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/13/2015 8:04:25 PM
Longer than a 2hour drive for me is too far.

Love the third wallet idea.
Have done it with femal friends.
No reason why it shouldn't work with a lover.
Unless one or the other does not want to contribute.
 crookcatcher3
Joined: 12/9/2015
Msg: 65
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 4:29:57 PM

Longer than a 2hour drive for me is too far.



Where's the sense of adventure? Sometimes the risk is worth the results. One of the better times I've had in recent memory was a 1K mile road trip.

Caught a guy breaking into a car, got ran off the road by a vacationing family....could of swore Clark was driving but it may have been Eddie. Got to see a local legend put the youngin's to shame on the dance floor and had a great time dancing myself although it's uncertain whether the younger crowd was a appreciative of that as I was. Never the less it was a great time. :)
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 66
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 4:45:33 PM
CC I have driven 1,000km to meet a man and he was not as advertised.
Shame as I was hoping to be invited to stay the weekend.

2 hours drive to meet a stranger is enough for me these days.
Unless the location is somewhere spectacular and I want to enjoy that as well.

Just checked Sydney to Townsville.
Once flew 2100km for a date. (Not a first meet)
He sailed up I flew.
A lovely holiday romance.

Edit
vvvvv
I hope so too.
For all of us.
 crookcatcher3
Joined: 12/9/2015
Msg: 67
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 4:59:15 PM

CC I have driven 1,000km to meet a man and he was not as advertised.


That's unfortunate to have happened. :(

I guess sometimes the journey is the best part, not necessarily the results. It's not easy as we get older. We all have our wants, desires and expectations. I think the problem arises when we fail to realize those that we meet have those same wants, desires and expectations. Sometimes it's us...sometimes it's them. Should the day ever come when the planets align and you're holding your mouth just right those two individuals will forget all the failed attempts, or at least I'm hoping. ;)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 68
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 5:09:44 PM
walts
You are correct in that I would want the guy to make an effort to visit me in my hometown, occasionally. It is not the money but the principle. Like Flaneur I can pay my own way, it is not the point.

Have another drink and relax.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 69
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 5:13:55 PM
wow Diana!! You travelled 1000kms to meet a guy you had not seen?? I hope you enjoyed the journey at least!!

I would not want to drive 2 hours to meet anyone, half way is what is fair. You then have the two hours drive home again if things don't work out and if they do, you still have the distance problem. I don't get why people bother to contact others at such a distance unless they just want a "distant" relationship.
 sapphiresky242
Joined: 11/17/2015
Msg: 70
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 5:20:17 PM
I flew from Vancouver, Canada to London, UK to meet a man in Wales. I paid my flight, stayed at his home for 2 weeks and we both went to France for a week as well. That was 10 years ago. The cost of my trip was about 2 grand all in but what I gained was priceless. Sometimes you can't put a price tag on things. Always choose the adventure.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 71
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 5:24:20 PM

I don't get why people bother to contact others at such a distance unless they just want a "distant" relationship.


Perhaps because they don't want to "settle" for what's available nearby?

Did you receive a memo that guaranteed your ideal most compatible match is close by?
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 72
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 6:09:56 PM
Letitia his location was enroute on a trip I decided to take to visit friends and family who are further on.
The main purpose of the trip was to meet him.
But I just continued on and met up with the others earlier.

We had talked for hours each day for over a month.
I knew he was in between jobs and staying on the family farm till he got back on his feet.
He seemed like my soul mate. We discussed everything.

Turns out his photo was about 20 years old. I did not recognise him at all.
The between jobs had been a very, very long time between.
And he had a regular spot at the bar in the pub next to the TAB.

After 1 drink I walked back to my car and he said he 'wanted to take me in the car park'.
Grabbed my hand and put it on his erection to prove how much he liked me.
I jumped in my car and drove away very quickly.

He kept messaging me wanting to know when I was coming back to town.


 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 73
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 6:43:40 PM
# 72 Castle.... Sounds like you've just been stiffed by love.... Again.... Yet I do admire that no matter how hard things get you just get back in there and keep trying. You are both positive and inspirational.

If you're ever looking for a hard time, other than here on the forums now you know where to go. And, keep in mind size and ridgidity of a member's middle doesn't at all equate with depth of character or ones love for another. But, I am also thinking you and the other ladies here already know this.

But, also keep in mind that a hard man is good to find. Especially when combined properly body to mind. Even though you're doing a lot of seeking, and failing to find...

Why change a thing?.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 74
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 7:41:34 PM
But Doremi.
You are in America.
And the thought of giving up makes me sad.



Crook... I have taken your advice and changed my location to where I have an investment property and where I may retire.
Initial search men within 100miles
+/-14 years


= 10.

Will leave it up for a couple of days.
Who knows.

 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 75
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 12/14/2015 9:33:42 PM
This was something that had bothered me for a while, I have had men who lived far away and the first thing they say is travel is no issue ...but it always ends up an issue...mainly cause they don't wish to met. They are lonely or bored or both and want someone to entertain them. Funny one such guy (initial contact was 4/08) still calls me every six months--bare in mind I was in a 4-year relationship and he would call and ask if I was still involved and when I said yes he would say-I respect that and then hang up...yet we have never met --we talked about it and he would disappear so now I just sorta grin and listen to him for a bit-it's not really hurting anything. Another guy I did met when I went to Vegas-but he originally contacted me on Myspace and then we were to met and he all at once changed his status to "in a relationship" then when he broke up with them he sent me a message...I was already on my way to Vegas and he lived a few hours away--wanted me to come to his home to visit before going back to TN--I wasn't able to and then three months later he was married to another woman ....he sent me a friend request last week on Facebook...again I just sorta grin...I figure they have something that keeps them from wanting something real and so I don't put much time and energy into things after these two....I actually tell men who aren't close that I won't have any emotional connection with anyone until I meet them...sorry it is just the way things have to be...you want to make an effort to meet me ok...Ill meet..

...but things just got a lot easier...I just got a job with an airline ...Yippee!!!! (who wants to met???? just kidding)
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