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 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 25
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History
starting to lose faithPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
So here's a profile that looks good, is well written but hasn't gotten the OP anywhere in the 1+ year he's been here. So it's probably time to shake things up.

If your main photo and header have been up for a while you should change both. By now, most women in your area have already seen you, recognize you and don't care to look again. That you want to change. Get a new main photo, show the same broad smile you have now, but go solo - nobody else in the shot.

Header is cute, but something romantic might work better. Work it around your love of travel and the offer of adventure.

But the "adventure" part might be overdone. You've been here, and you've been there, and you've been seemingly everywhere. Almost gives the impression of being rootless and your lack of relationship experience doesn't help matters. Almost every photo shows you in an exotic location. It might be better to tone that down, show photos of you in everyday life, the domesticated Andrew, the Andrew who can offer security and a sense of home to the reader.

May as well give it a shot. You already know that the approach you've taken thus far doesn't work.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 26
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/6/2016 1:22:33 PM
The adventure part may be a bit overdone, but having lived in Germany for 7 years, it is very easy to travel to other countries for a long weekend or even for a daytrip or dinner to France. It is a different mindset because of the geographics of the area due to the close proximation of one country to another. Holidays abroad to the middle east or Africa are very easy easy to arrange.

But I agree, show the more domestic side of you.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 27
view profile
History
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/6/2016 1:53:23 PM

Hi everyone,
I have read lots of tips about how to produce a decent profile and, as far as I can see, I have all the boxes ticked: I am smiling on all but one of my headshot photos, I have used humour (or at least tried to), I have put some information that could lead to open questions, my spelling and grammar is very good and contains no "txt spk". I have no kids, no ties, I have a good job with prospects, and I have all my own teeth!


The problem is that you think you have all the boxes ticked, but you don't have any boxes ticked. If your goal is to find a date, you have to create a profile that sparks romantic interest and attraction, not a profile like the ones you see up meetup.com when someone needs a hiking buddy.
 jaja808
Joined: 12/11/2015
Msg: 28
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/7/2016 1:00:35 AM
I've got it all figured out..... OK here is why your profile sucks. Your humor is not humorous. The first sentence of the first paragraph in your about me section made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, the one about cyberspace. Your second paragraph about IT I wear sandals, not ties... my eyes didn't want to read it all. It's like I automatically started skimming for the important part and felt sleepy. Third paragraph says "I'm old, want to be young, not happy with ones self". 4th paragraph: Music blah blah, talking about age again last sentence, not accepting ones self. Last paragraph, broken mouse, keyboard statement= low self esteem again, not happy with ones self and talking negative.

Every time you put yourself down a women is less attracted to you. Every time you try to make yourself sound less old, it sounds really, really lame.

Your profile is full of I, I, I, I's, laced with negative self talk, and ageism. If I had to take a lucky guess and I could be wrong, you put up all of your travels and hobbies and accomplishments as a large wall. The large wall says "Look at all this, I am worthy" but the protective wall might be blocking you from making yourself vulnerable enough to open up. It's just you rattling off a bunch of things that make you cool, but it doesn't paint any picture for an opening in your life for someone else. You don't mention that you like pina colata's and getting caught in the rain, but you do brag about everything else. You remind me of a robot and love does not compute. Love like you have never been hurt and make your profile reflect that sentiment.


edit: and I agree with Coma White the above poster. I think that is what I was getting at, but couldn't explain it.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 29
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/7/2016 3:29:44 AM

Hi there! What's a nice girl like you doing in a cyberspace like this?


You wouldn't meet her, if she wasn't here.


I am a self-employed IT consultant by trade, but I consider myself to be an atypical one - I have never worn a tie and short-sleeved combo, and I wear sandals only on foreign holidays (and never, ever with socks!).


I like this.


I may be 43 on paper but I don't feel anywhere near my age.


Get rid of this.

This seems more like a peacock's call for younger women. Keep your options open.


I have a very active lifestyle (I train at a gym regularly, I am a member of a martial arts club), and every few weekends I volunteer as a motor sport marshal. I go snowboarding once a year (except when I'm carrying injuries from a previous similar holiday) and, as you can see from my photos, I like to travel to unusual places. My next holiday will be in Antarctica (honest!).


Now, that's interesting! Do update us on that experience...



My music collection ranges from metal to classical, via Canadian rock (not Bryan Adams), French electronica, German darkwave and Scandinavian bands starting with "A". My film tastes are equally diverse: James Bond, Tarantino, science fiction, and, strangely, anything French or Korean. TV favourites include The Apprentice, Top Gear, Doctor Who, sitcoms, stand-up comedy, (and I know I'm showing my age here!) The A-Team and Knight Rider.

Here are a few random facts / conversation starters about me:
> When I was 10, I had a plaster cast signed by the broadcasting legend Johnny Ball. I got really upset when I couldn't show it off to my school friends because it had to come off before the summer holidays finished.
> I once played the piano in the c**ktail bar at the Hilton. The piece I played was my own composition.
> A long time ago, on the way home from a particularly heavy night out, I and my friends nearly got arrested for trying to steal a 40-foot flagpole.
> I learned Spanish in a week in preparation for a 4-day break in Lloret de Mar.
> I did a bungee jump for charity which I thought would also cure, or reduce, my fear of heights. It didn't.


I like the anecdotes.


If you've got this far, then your keyboard and mouse are probably broken. If they're not, and you would like to know the origin of my username (it's nothing to do with sun tans, Reservoir Dogs or mobile phones), or if you want to know why pigeons can't go to the movies, write me a message. What's the worst that could happen?!


You could always message them. Find another way to be more inviting. Maybe you can include the type of women with whom you'd like to share your adventures, like another traveler?
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 30
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/7/2016 4:47:30 AM

I've got it all figured out..... OK here is why your profile sucks. Your humor is not humorous. The first sentence of the first paragraph in your about me section made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, the one about cyberspace. Your second paragraph about IT I wear sandals, not ties... my eyes didn't want to read it all.


I liked the bit about Antarctica.



It's like I automatically started skimming for the important part and felt sleepy. Third paragraph says "I'm old, want to be young, not happy with ones self". 4th paragraph: Music blah blah, talking about age again last sentence, not accepting ones self. Last paragraph, broken mouse, keyboard statement= low self esteem again, not happy with ones self and talking negative.

Every time you put yourself down a women is less attracted to you. Every time you try to make yourself sound less old, it sounds really, really lame.


Well, yes, he wants younger women and he thinks feigned self-deprecation is going to get him laid. They always resort to the tiresome cliche "I don't feel like my age" bull-corn. They look their chronological age, but their mental age is never caught up.



Your profile is full of I, I, I, I's, laced with negative self talk, and ageism. If I had to take a lucky guess and I could be wrong, you put up all of your travels and hobbies and accomplishments as a large wall. The large wall says "Look at all this, I am worthy" but the protective wall might be blocking you from making yourself vulnerable enough to open up. It's just you rattling off a bunch of things that make you cool, but it doesn't paint any picture for an opening in your life for someone else. You don't mention that you like pina colata's and getting caught in the rain, but you do brag about everything else. You remind me of a robot and love does not compute. Love like you have never been hurt and make your profile reflect that sentiment.


You know, I didn't look at this way. If he's traveled, what experiences did he glean from them and what is shared on the profile? A new perspective? A love for culture? Cooking? Relating to people? He related to a monkey (pictured in the last photo), and I don't know anything about that experience. There's never a story with these adventures. Good point.

His lack of relationship experiences could be what deter attention, too. You're right, there seems to be one great disconnect here.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 31
starting to lose faith
Posted: 2/8/2016 1:44:48 AM
You need some dressed up, looking good pics. Your interests field should be specific, and don't repeat stuff there in text, unless enlarging upon the whys you are passionate about it.
In general, its nice to have a conversational tone about "why" you like something, vs rattling off a list of likes.
Focus on what you are truly enthusuastic about, distill it down, revise your text, avoid redundant words.

The title with the shoes, nah, get another one. Are women shoe diggers? Tone is a problem. It is subtle, but women don't care for a salesguy/ braggart/ a self congratulatory tone, at least it puts many off. We all have been subjected to that in person, not a fan...

"Hi there! What's a nice girl like you doing in a cyberspace like this? "

If you are going to be funny, this bland humor, nah, try again. Girl? Are you msging women your age? Not upbeat, vaguely condescending/ negative, talking down to audience.

"I am a self-employed IT consultant by trade, but I consider myself to be an atypical one - I have never worn a tie and short-sleeved combo, and I wear sandals only on foreign holidays (and never, ever with socks!). "

Defensive, bland humor.

"I have a very active lifestyle (I train at a gym regularly, I am a member of a martial arts club), and every few weekends I volunteer as a motor sport marshal. I go snowboarding once a year (except when I'm carrying injuries from a previous similar holiday) and, as you can see from my photos, I like to travel to unusual places. My next holiday will be in Antarctica (honest!). "

Talking as if to couch surfing hicks? Explain why you love something, that might be interesting.

"My music collection ranges from metal to classical, via Canadian rock (not Bryan Adams), French electronica, German darkwave and Scandinavian bands starting with "A". My film tastes are equally diverse: James Bond, Tarantino, science fiction, and, strangely, anything French or Korean. TV favourites include The Apprentice, Top Gear, Doctor Who, sitcoms, stand-up comedy, (and I know I'm showing my age here!) The A-Team and Knight Rider. "

Claiming to be eclectic, touch of age self hate. Braggy tone continues.

"Here are a few random facts / conversation starters about me:
> When I was 10, I had a plaster cast signed by the broadcasting legend Johnny Ball. I got really upset when I couldn't show it off to my school friends because it had to come off before the summer holidays finished.
> I once played the piano in the c**ktail bar at the Hilton. The piece I played was my own composition.
> A long time ago, on the way home from a particularly heavy night out, I and my friends nearly got arrested for trying to steal a 40-foot flagpole.
> I learned Spanish in a week in preparation for a 4-day break in Lloret de Mar.
> I did a bungee jump for charity which I thought would also cure, or reduce, my fear of heights. It didn't. "

I would tighten up the text, it is ok but not that illuminating, more sales.

"If you've got this far, then your keyboard and mouse are probably broken"

So we are illiterate?

". If they're not, and you would like to know the origin of my username (it's nothing to do with sun tans, Reservoir Dogs or mobile phones), or if you want to know why pigeons can't go to the movies, write me a message."

Chances are nobody really cares.

" What's the worst that could happen?!"

Bragging, selling vs talking with a person. Put information about whom you wish to meet here. Sorry to be harsh, but tone is picked up on.
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