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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 251
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it? Page 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Henry... as long as your eyes are open, which it appears to be, and you are ready for whatever happen, which appears you are, then my man, .... enjoy that ride. We only have one life, do whatever makes you happy.
Never mind what anyone says.
Hope your ride is fire crackin', lips smackin', hip shakin', earth quakin, awesome.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 252
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 9:46:05 AM

Pig must have really gotten jerked around in the past.


You are incorrect. I simply stated what I disagreed with about the scenario and why, and it snowballed from there, to the point of being told my desire to *not* be in the same scenario was deserving of sympathy, which is absolutely absurd. I still find nothing wise, beautiful, or romantic about this, and won't ever allow it in my own life.

It's just utterly mindblowing to know that if the tables were turned, there would be an avalanche of "kick him to the curb" posts, but for reason, this woman is being given the benefit of the doubt.

I can't stand game players on either side of the spectrum. They need the shit kicked out of them, not to be embraced.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 253
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 10:37:32 AM

can't stand game players on either side of the spectrum. They need the shit kicked out of them, not to be embraced.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TMwz6hIypU.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 254
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 11:47:41 AM
charminc wrote---
Henry... as long as your eyes are open, which it appears to be, and you are ready for whatever happen, which appears you are, then my man, .... enjoy that ride. We only have one life, do whatever makes you happy.
Never mind what anyone says.
Hope your ride is fire crackin', lips smackin', hip shakin', earth quakin, awesome.


haha. I agree^

No doubt the teasing suggestions of everlasting fellatio are quite compelling<
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 255
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 11:55:36 AM
It seems Pig and I are on opposite sides of every issue here. But that doesn't mean he's wrong, nor that I'm wrong. We just have different viewpoints. Nobody needs to ascribe dark emotional scars to his perspective.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 256
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 1:27:22 PM
I still haven't recovered from the pain in my balls from hearing about the guy who tried to hook Henry's date, in his VERY presence! So because of this bias, I have kept out, mostly!

But, I agree with most of what PIG says, simply because he has paid me to do so! ..can't beat those free Disney Passes! :)..j/k

I do agree, however, that letting a game playing dame take advantage, and play games isn't a good thing. But since I grew up with a devil in my head whispering "hate the game, not the player", I can see the other side as well. Mainly said below:



From Ohenry's POV, I just can't see the problem. He's aware he may get hurt, is enjoying it for what it is and even though she's acting up, she's not witholding sex. He's 60, she's pretty and he's keeping hold of his wallet. What's the harm?


I am all for living, and that means EXPERIENCING lots of crap, both good and bad! If he is getting the sex, and most of what he wants, I don't see the problem , except for the getting hurt and avoiding meeting better women, as Pig mentioned.

I thing he might be basing this on the fact that Henry mentions,"getting hurt", and yeah that is a bad thing, since it often takes mending time to heal. To play this so called game successfully( not sure if it is a game though), Henry has to NOT put himself in a situation to get hurt. If he does, then I agree with Pig that it might not be worth it.

Now if it was someone else in this situation, myself perhaps, I think Pig wouldn't make a big deal about it, because something tells me he would know who the predator in this game REALLY is :P. So it is subjective! If Henry goes along without getting emotionally attached, than I see nothing wrong.

Conclusion: go with the flow, don't get emotionally invested, and STILL be looking for something else....unless of course, she totally reforms, and they connect. Then it is happily ever after!



t's just utterly mindblowing to know that if the tables were turned, there would be an avalanche of "kick him to the curb" posts, but for reason, this woman is being given the benefit of the doubt.


Well , yeah of course, it is called by some, women's perogative! I got an A+ on a research paper (over 2 decades ago) about it my women's psych class. The professor who was a liberal feminist , gave me an A for the course. Apparently, she appreciated me pointing stuff out on a regular basis....EVEN the hypocritical stuff! :P

But since this is nothing new in "forum land", please continue with the argument, and pray Rockintrucker comes on!
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 257
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 1:28:20 PM

Nobody needs to ascribe dark emotional scars to his perspective.


It was a lame tactic to suggest I am coming from an irrational and angry perspective based on personal experience rather than simply coming from a place of logic, but, oh well.

I'm still waiting to hear why there's an optimistic "hey, anything can happen" attitude toward his situation with this particular woman, but not one for the idea of him finding someone else he can actually trust (because at this juncture he doesn't), who doesn't disrespect him before the relationship even takes off.

Anyone?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 258
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History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 1:42:10 PM
^^^Wasn't I being optimistic enough?

I think he should continue getting what he wants, or at least thinks he is getting, and continue to search and date.


It was a lame tactic to suggest I am coming from an irrational and angry perspective based on personal experience rather than simply coming from a place of logic, but, oh well.


Yes, I agree! It is "forum fighting cop out 101"! That often happens when people go by self help books, and what their private licensed therapist , called THEIR friends , tells them. Too many amateurs attempting to observe defense mechanisms in others, which in turn is a defense mechanism. :P (this isn't directed towards anyone in particular here btw)

But in this case, they might just subjectively be going by emotions (hope, romance,etc), while you are subjectively breaking it apart rationally, and logically with a "pro vs con " list.

On your list, the "con's" win, obviously. On my list, " pro's " win....because I am hoping Henry can continue WITHOUT getting emotionally vested. But of course my view is flawed, because I am hoping he is capable of not getting in a position to get hurt, that which he might not be able to accomplish.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 259
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 1:54:09 PM
I am still with Ohenry on this, would do exactly the same thing in his place.
I went thru the same thing last summer, 4 weeks of infatuation, infatuation not love. I knew it would be a trainwreck and it was. Then it was over, took another 4 weeks to get over it and moved on.

Pig if you want to apply logic to every woman you meet, that is your perogative and more power to you. But have you ever been in the situation where logic "got kicked to the curb" and it was all about the "here and now"?

We know what is happening, like Henry said it has been happening forever in our lives.



FYI, the phrase "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" when it comes to romantic relationships, is nonsense. It is not even remotely better."

FYI should have been IMO, because myself and it seems others do not agree.

I have read this thread with great interest since the Ohenry situation started being discussed, lots of interesting viewpoints
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 260
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 1:56:37 PM

^^^Wasn't I being optimistic enough?


I didn't see your post until after I posted mine, but yes, your is a balanced outlook for the most part. Oh, and I haven't had access to free Disney passes since the 90's, by the way....haha.



because I am hoping Henry can continue WITHOUT getting emotionally vested.


Judging by his posts, I'd venture to say he's already been sucked in. He's acknowledged that he envisions it turning out badly and getting hurt, yet sees something wonderful about it. To me, that's masochism, especially when you're aware that it could be avoided.

Again, if that's your thing, great. I know there are guys out there who enjoy getting their balls stomped on (literally) by women in heels. I don't get that either, but whatever floats your boat, I say. Just don't tell me I'm missing out on something spectacular when I don't see it that way.

Bottom line, I still think what she did sucked, no matter how anyone tries to slice and dice it.


Pig if you want to apply logic to every woman you meet, that is your perogative and more power to you. But have you ever been in the situation where logic "got kicked to the curb" and it was all about the "here and now"?


Where I was blatantly disrespected at the very beginning of it all?? No, and I do not feel I've missed out on anything as a result.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 261
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 3:59:11 PM
So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far and leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

T. Swift

Is the high worth the pain? I would have to say yes :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 262
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History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 4:05:03 PM
^^^^
I would avoid listing songs from a country music star, born in PA, that moves to NYC and writes a song called Welcome To New York". Something politically incorrect there, just can't figure it out yet!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIPFTeTA4fw
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 263
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 4:41:59 PM

I would avoid listing songs from a country music star, born in PA, that moves to NYC and writes a song called Welcome To New York". Something politically incorrect there, just can't figure it out yet!


She's a country music star? Huh. I never listen to country music.

I heard this song on the radio a lot a couple of months ago while I was painting my house. Catchy little tune. Interesting lyrics!

Politically correct?!! LOL Since when do you care about politically correct ?!

:))
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 264
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 4:59:50 PM

She's a country music star? Huh.


Country pop. She went to Nashville from the North.


Politically correct?!! LOL Since when do you care about politically correct ?!


I DON'T. LOL

But I do believe in being congruent ! :)

Yes, catchy little tune, indeed!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 265
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 7:11:04 PM

She teases, she flirts, she tells me to shut up, she refuses to hear compliments. She confuses, she confounds, she amazes, she astounds. She is woman.

Then...

Of course all women aren’t like that.

"She is woman" following all that implies that's how they roll. So why did you top off all that crazy description of her with "She is woman"? I think she's got your confused & contradictory. You're mad about her. ;)

Very few women are like that. And then, only when they are intending to play you like a violin. Which is not a bad thing.

Whoah, what? Not a bad thing? LOL. Oh my god. So she's intending to fvck with you, play you like a violin, and that's not a bad thing?

A violin exists to be played, that is it’s purpose in life. I am a man, a woman who can play me like a violin is rare, and wonderful to find.

Yeah, but intending to play someone like a violin, and ending up actually playing them like a harp are two different things. And also, just because someone is played in a particular scenario, doesn't mean they exist in all of life to be played by people. Some people indirectly are "asking for it". You are directly asking for it, which doesn't make it a violin playing scheme for the ages. One would be if you didn't really know until the end.

You’ve got that part right. Prettier by a country mile. And … she looks better with her clothes off than with them on.

Okay, I'll say this. If you HAVE gotten her in bed after her coming back, and you're porking her and letting her take control, while being fully aware that you'll never ride off into the sunset with her, as you're not led on to be -- OK. She's actually not playing you -- she's treating you like sh!t, but you're getting something out of the deal. If you're getting action, playing you would be leading you on. If you're not being led on, then you're not being played. It's more like role-playing. But watch out.

The moment you start believing that you can ride off in the sunset with her, and all this is just role-playing that will go beyond you getting your benefits -- then you'll be being played.

And I’ll tell you one more thing. I am a tight fisted SOB.

Sounds like you'll need it if she's pretty kinky in the bedroom, too! ;) With that aside, you're not going to be an SOB to her. She has you wrapped around her finger to do whatever the hell she wants you to do. Which to that, I say fine -- as long as you know you have no future with her and it's put in the perspective of just role-playing -- AND you're getting something out of the deal. If you have to jump thru hoops for the Possibility to even get anything physical -- THEN I would say you were in big trouble. Just don't let yourself Actually be played into thinking you have a of potential with her as an item, is all. You'll regret the whole "let the games begin".
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 266
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 7:21:53 PM
I do believe there is a portion of the population that has more respect for people who treat them poorly. Very interesting phenomenon, to me.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 267
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 7:25:46 PM
Some diamond merchant will be yelling CHA CHING!! any moment now...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 268
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 8:10:06 PM

I do believe there is a portion of the population that has more respect for people who treat them poorly. Very interesting phenomenon, to me.

I could more understand in a role-playing sort of way when they-dont-really-mean-it, etc. But yeah, it's weird if said person DOES mean it. I guess it's on the same level as some people having more respect for folks for being high-maintenance, in and of itself. Odd, but not at all as bad as having more respect for someone treating them/others like sh!t.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 269
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/12/2015 8:57:48 PM

I do believe there is a portion of the population that has more respect for people who treat them poorly.

I think "respect" isn't the right word. Maybe "desire" or "attraction" but those are both much different than respect.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 270
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 2:02:17 AM

I think I've been misunderstood here. I absolutely understand the allure of taking risks. Look at me. Do I look like someone who has played it completely safe their entire life? I just don't believe in taking *stupid* risks.

Taking a risk - taking one paycheck to Vegas to for a night of gambling.
Stupid risk - taking your life savings to Vegas for a night of gambling.

The relationship Henry has chosen to pursue has started with disrespect. That, to me, is the biggest issue here. Not the idea of taking a risk in itself.

Someone ignoring you for 22 days after two dates isn't a trivial matter to me. That's a very loud and clear "f*ck you". Unless there was a family emergency or a personal health issue of her own, I don't know of a single good excuse for it. Oh, she got "scared"? "Too much too soon?" Well, I would have to question the emotional maturity of someone her age who would bring those excuses to the table, and decide that vanishing for 22 days was the best way to handle it.

Anyone who would put up with this shit is letting desperation or masochism lead the way. There's no other way to put it.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 271
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 2:16:42 AM
OHenry, ur a grown man & have ur eyes wide open.

Enjoy the ride!

When the brass ring is within our grasp, grab it!
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 272
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 5:04:14 AM

And they called it puppy love
Oh, I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so

And they called it puppy love
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 273
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 9:17:09 AM
My odds are nil.
I'm mostly okei with it.
Women such as the one Henry is infatuated with
do not do women such as myself any favors.
While I do get the idea that Henry should pursue his
dream and I understand the encouragement behind it, I'm also
pretty sure if Henry was 15-20 years younger, most of the
people cheering him on would be asking him what he was
thinking inviting someone in who had previously treated him
so shabbily.

I've no problem taking risks and putting myself out there,
but that's no reason to put myself on the sloppy seconds list...
or maybe it is...I dunno.

OLD is not for the faint of heart that's for sure.
I'd rather a face full of honesty than a week's worth of fantasy.
But maybe I'm just old...hahahahaha!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 274
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 10:21:31 AM

BrownEyesBoo
Women such as the one Henry is infatuated with
do not do women such as myself any favors.

Basically, there are two kinds of women in this world. The ones you take home to meet your mother, and eventually marry. And the ones you brag about to your friends, and don’t want your family to ever hear about.

Sometimes, you find a woman who can cross categories. Rare. And a true jewel when you find her, to be treasured. My ex-wife was such a jewel.

BrownEyesBoo
I've no problem taking risks and putting myself out there,
but that's no reason to put myself on the sloppy seconds list...
or maybe it is...I dunno.

To me, the answer is “Yes, it is”.

Some interesting viewpoints here. Pig thinks I am letting some woman “stomp on my balls”, but that is just a matter of viewpoint, and he is certainly entitled to his. He was also upset about me saying that I felt sorry for him. So I will retract those words, and restate as, “I wouldn’t want to be like you.” Meaning, so unwilling to take a chance.

Joe thinks I’m not a real man because, in a previous incident, I let some other man flirt with my date. If he were here, I could show him the two knuckles on my right hand that are permanently indented where I broke them on some man’s face. Every time it gets cold, those broken knuckles hurt. It was not worth it.

NorwegianGuy thinks it’s okay if I’m getting sex, and not letting my emotions get involved. Let me assure you, it’s worth it. A million times over. And it’s even better when your emotions ARE involved. Don’t worry, you’re still young. If you’re lucky, eventually you will learn.

CT seems to keep on thinking this is going to cost me, as in money. Not everything is about money. She is not after my money. As I have said before, even if she was, she would not get any. I have also said that you cannot buy this kind of a ride. It is not for sale, anywhere, at any price.

If the devil had appeared before me, and offered me this kind of chance, in return for my immortal soul, I would have signed in blood. But I believe that the devil is just another fairy tale, like the Easter Bunny. There is no one who can sell you this kind of a ride. You just have to be lucky.

 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 275
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/13/2015 10:38:28 AM
Absolutely I do NOT think its about money.

The diamond quip I made was more about her dangling a relationship carrot to see how far you'll go.

At least short term.

I do think SOME women don't want to waste time dating exclusively for any period of time.

See, they have so many options.

They just want to flat out hear what your offer is right now, as in a marriage proposal or trip to Paris.

So you, you might equate that to a cost per se, but I think it's really her wanting to settle down ASAP and hoping you'll do whatever it takes to keep her.

If I am really infatuated with a girl, and we've been intimate, and she wants to see me again?

I'd be bothered that she doesn't care that I am monogamous myself.

That in and of itself speaks volumes. She's keeping her options open.

If you hadn't mentioned heartbreak, and said you were enjoying a FWB thing, nobody would bat an eye at this.

Are you not bothered SHE hasn't asked about being exclusive or monogamous?

Your experience struck a chord with me because I've seen this a few times.

Once with an ex...I gave her a ring to convince her to date exclusively. And yeah, we met online. All I'm saying is you shouldn't be manipulated into 'doing whatever it takes' to date someone exclusively.

She may be of the opinion that the right guy will do anything to keep her.

Rant over:)
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?