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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 126
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it? Page 6 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
My odds are ok ( for short term shenanigans, those are the only offers, ugh, never inspirational)( though I choose not to actively search, nor am truly open to it these days, do not want to think about other people's needs right now, maybe when my life is so settled in a groove it is painful) because... I do not expect, nor want particularly, to be married, fight over money, be Siamese twins, on a tandem bike, in some 3 legged race.

Even when I was in ltrs, the coupleness of it drove me to boredom. It could be ok with the "right"(unicorn) person. My exes I chose because they were independent types, not smothering at all, usually I had to search for them as they would disappear.

They dealt with couple ennui by being sullen, doing the minimum and generally being hard to rouse, even if I gave them stuff, they just took it all for granted because I was stealing their freeedom, like mine wasn't being totally bored into oblivion by them..at least I made an effort whilst they graced me with their showing up, flirted on the sly...meh, and me so formerly loyal.

I think it made me try harder, when they were aloof, but I am beyond that now...lots 'o crazy
doormat stuff in my prior life, feeling responsible, trying to change people.

I learned a lot from stepping back and saying wth?

Now, my serenity, clarity and satisfaction is higher than before, no need to mess with that now, maybe later, you never know... but lately I just think it is not time for that.

So, in a nutshell, ltrs can only be better for me the the future, being more clear eyed, so in that sense I am optimistic, as well as guarded towards my peace.

However, I think it is misguided to focus on money, things like that...just do not share finances...cuz you will never find a person you value to spend time with.

That is all I expect, shared experiences and interests, not entwining lives with demands, though if it serious, you do expect a certain amount of consideration when major events happen, naturally. Emotional giving is most important.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 127
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 2:40:20 AM

a few were really bad. (In my opinion) She found good points in all of them. (Including the one that was married)


^^^ If I wanted really bad and/or married I could have a harem.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 128
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 6:44:47 AM
My odds seem much better IRL, I seem to meet nice appearing men regularly and we exchange phone numbers, in coffee shops if we are both regulars, at social gatherings and even at my workplace. But we rarely follow up with the actual phone call.

I think it's similar to the fear/indifference we feel online when we meet someone that seems to be a potential match, but we put the brakes on for one reason or another.

I'm not sure if it's my age demographic, and the fact that most of us have 'been there, done that', several times.

Personally, I am tired of stroking the egos of men I meet. If I meet someone who can give and take in a conversation, not carry the whole thing, and does not expect to be the final authority on every issue, I will be very much interested.
 rhinestonesky
Joined: 6/9/2015
Msg: 129
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:51:48 AM
Where I live the odds are good but the goods are odd.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 130
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 8:30:11 AM
Your odds are a reflection of your state of mind. If you think you are not going to meet anyone. You will not. If you think that you have to be mad over hills right off the bat when you meet a person, then you will fail.

How about infatuation. I personally do not fall in love quickly. It takes me time. But list is a wonderful emotion that I pay close attention right off the bat. No lust, no interest in my part. So if you simply start with lust, that one in a million turns to be 1 in ten. And if those that you lust, through first or second dates, you end up sleeping with one. Then your odds are much better.

So I believe that if you put the work, you can achieve anything. That also means coming to the middle when it comes to relationships, and truly giving of yourself.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 131
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 8:36:49 AM
They should change the seeking "casual sex" option on dating sites to "short term shenanigans" haha love it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 132
view profile
History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 10:20:44 AM

Olivoil
I seem to meet nice appearing men regularly and we exchange phone numbers

But we rarely follow up with the actual phone call.

I think it's similar to the fear/indifference we feel online when we meet someone that seems to be a potential match, but we put the brakes on for one reason or another.

I never “put the brakes on”, unless my calendar is already full. Women often “put the brakes on” me, but that’s okay, there is always another one. Living in the 4th largest metropolitan area in the USA is wonderful, I really feel for those of you out in the sticks. Unless, of course, you’re a beautiful woman like KJ, in which case you could live in Antarctica and men would still come calling.


Olivoil
Personally, I am tired of stroking the egos of men I meet.

I am trying very hard to remember the last time a woman “stroked my ego”. I think that must have been back in the Precambrian Era.


InnerGorilla
lust is a wonderful emotion that I pay close attention to right off the bat. No lust, no interest on my part. So if you simply start with lust, that one in a million turns to be 1 in ten. And if those that you lust, through first or second dates, you end up sleeping with one. Then your odds are much better.

+1

VolkanoKing
They should change the seeking "casual sex" option on dating sites to "short term shenanigans" haha love it.

And what’s wrong with “short term shenanigans”?
I met my ex-wife out drinking, dancing, club hopping. It was most definitely “short term shenanigans”. Hell, we used to argue good naturedly about who picked up whom. And that “short term shenanigans” lasted 27 years, and most of those were good years.
 Mummymania
Joined: 6/22/2015
Msg: 133
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 10:50:22 AM
Ohenryx, at your age, do you ever get tired of serial dating? How can you stand going out with so many different women? The effort a person has to put in to get to know one women is enough to tire a guy out. And yet you do it so often and so seamlessly it seems. Heck, I get bone weary just reading about your exploits.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 134
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:05:13 AM
Why should he get tired of it, Mr. Mummymania?

If it feels like an effort to get to know someone then you shouldn't do it. Rather simple, really.

But I like Mr. Ohenry's attitude. :)



****And God Bless America, Mr. Ohenry.... but darned f you Texans aren't a smooth and charming bunch! ;)
 Mummymania
Joined: 6/22/2015
Msg: 135
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:07:42 AM
Yes more power to him Ms. KJ. I just don't get where he finds the energy.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 136
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:31:47 AM
^^^^^^ ?Wheaties?
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 137
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:35:55 AM


Yes more power to him Ms. KJ. I just don't get where he finds the energy.


It's like gambling.

Those rare jackpot moments keep you motivated and in the game , despite feeling like bad investments at the end of the year.

I imagine coffee dates and meet and greets will be more lucrative once Uncle Sam becomes my employer.

Hahahahahaha
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 138
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 2:17:42 PM
"I don't hate or even dislike you VK, but I hate these type of stories. Don't you realise you have just become part of the problem?"

It's OK if you DO hate me or dislike me..I can live with it!

Also, re:lectures or analysis about my personality/attractiveness. No one knows me better than I know myself-I am fully aware of my choices and attitude. There isn't anything anyone can say that I don't already know. I have CHOSEN not to date. It's a choice, not just some sad sack thing I decided to sink into and die in. I chose to remove myself from a non-functioning system. And I have felt much better the past 3 years by focusing on more positive aspects of my life. Much is getting done at the moment and life is very very good. Just got thru with some outdoor home improvements projects..I wish I could post photos!

As far as full body shots, my ass looks like a giant, giant duck. MASSIVE. I can barely get it all onto the chair..well, I cant. It splays out like a raft about to burst, and my boobs hang down to my crotch. And I wear diapers, which...PU. Need attending. Get it? ATTENDS!!!!

Oh, what else. Oh, meeting people from the forum..I never even thought about doing that. To me, this forum is a place to come and share ideas and experiences in-not a place to socialize and meet people from.

Mmm....and...Oh yeah. RL is back in fashion..it is? Far as I can tell, the world has left that far behind. The big problem is, you can say to yourself that you want to get back into "real life"....but then you realize everyone around you is still very much plugged in, eyes down, tablets on..just going out to get lunch right now, I ran into dozens of people staring at phones, ipads and kids screwing around with tablets.

The rest of the world is still in love with their own personal half life.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 139
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 3:08:18 PM

Just got thru with some outdoor home improvements projects..I wish I could post photos!


Photoshop your face into the outdoor projects, and they are legit photos.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 140
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 4:13:38 PM
Why ruin a good photo with my face. Haha
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 141
view profile
History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 4:17:13 PM

I don't hate or even dislike you VK, but I hate these type of stories. Don't you realise you have just become part of the problem?


Oluben, you opened yourself up for another Doc line !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX-qP76Kclk

But yeah , I was being polite. It is actually innocent men who are having their time wasted .


Funny thing is, I get the feeling that people are so fed-up with the fickleness of OLD that if you can hold your own IRL you have even more chance of forming a relationship than before internet dating.


Secret of success: Always do what others aren't doing. And do what others do, BETTER than they do it!

I think you can get the meaning pertaining to dating, somewhere in there :)


But more women in their twenties now flirt with me than when I was in my twenties. Living in a lively, mainly-rental, multi-cultural part of London, I do come across many women who don't have the cultural hang-ups about age us native born Brits (and possibly North Americans do).


Yep, yep. I am so happy that I am sometimes amazed, and shocked how horrible aging isn't. Age has been much better than I suspected. When I was in my 20's I was stuck with just women being interested in me that were my own age or a bit younger( sometimes too young). Now I have much younger (sometimes too young also ;)) ranging up to older than me. I am afraid sometimes that I might wake up from this dream!

Just like you, I can jump into the cultural groups that don't have too much taboo on age (location, location, location)...in fact I belong to those groups myself.

I also don't mind attractive 40 something women( or even 50?), because they like sex, often lots of it. Although, my gal is quite a bit younger( don't ask lol), she is from a culture where they are more mature for their age, so it is all SWELL.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 142
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 4:30:55 PM

VolkanoKing:
As an experiment, I opened two accounts recently. One, was me. Recent photos, witty, fun, unique profile.

The second I used a photo from a Russian dating site, with a gorgeous blonde woman. Wrote a very very boring, almost nothing profile. Listed her as 34. Then I set them both loose.

Ms. Russian lady was FLOODED with responses. FLOODED. For days on end. My profile...barely a reaction. Mostly scammers, at that.


I can relate. Earlier this year I wrote THIS in my blog. It is about an experiment I did 13 years ago.


Llove2LaughToo:
During the summer of 2002, I took a break from one of the many online dating websites, and created a dating profile at Match.com. Six months later, and after sending out lots of emails, only dated two people. One date with each person.

I tried to connect with those that I felt maybe we could 90% match. After multiple profile intro revisions, I was about to give up. I even asked some of my female friends and co-workers to help me with my profile introduction. Nada, zilch, zero. Nothing worked.

At the time I was 46 years old.

At the end of 2002, Fox began promoting their new reality show, Joe Millionaire. (A 28-year old heavy equipment operator courts twenty prospective mates under the guise that he has inherited nearly $50 million.)

I was so frustrated with the lack of responses to my profile at Match.com that during the height of Joe Millionaire's promos, I decided to run an experiment. I figured I had nothing to lose, no one was responding to my emails. Would I get a different outcome if some sort of incentive was involved?

I created a fake profile on Match.com using one male picture from "International Male" clothing magazine. The profile intro was very brief:

"It was of a 40 year old man going on a business trip, looking for a companion to travel with me to Japan, Paris, Hawaii and the Caribbean".

The plan was just to have the profile on the site for women to read, I never intended to email or reply to anyone. And I never did. I felt guilty after I created the profile, so the profile was inactive/hiding for a few days.

On Sunday night, after getting my emails on Match.com ignored the entire weekend, I decided to activate the fake profile live online.

On Monday evening, I arrived home from work to find my inbox full of replies, dozens of emails. To my surprise, the fake profile received emails from all over the nation, women of all ages replied. I even received long romantic emails from some of the local Philadelphia women that had previously ignored my emails and real profile. Some of them were telling the fake profile, in explicit terms, the things they planned to do to me, no holds barred, if they were selected as my companion. I could not keep up reading the hundreds of emails that kept filling up my inbox.

On Thursday night, and before my inbox reached the 900th emails, I went from feeling guilty to getting pissed off, and deleted the fake profile. The experiment lasted only four days.

Some of my female friends and co-workers were sympathetic when I told them what I did, others were very upset with me. Most just reminded me that I knew it was coming. The experiment left a bad taste in my mouth, so I stopped online dating for a while.
 Mummymania
Joined: 6/22/2015
Msg: 143
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 5:10:42 PM
Luv2laugh, you created a profile where you were in your prime, wealthy, model looks, well dressed, and we're willing to take a volunteer on an around the world trip free of charge, and you were surprised at the result? Really?
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 144
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 5:24:43 PM

Mummymania:
You created a profile where you were in your prime, wealthy, model looks, well dressed, and we're willing to take a volunteer on an around the world trip free of charge, and you were surprised at the result? Really?


Call me naive, but at the time I had been dating online on and off for only two years. It was a given that the profile would receive emails. I was shocked at the number of responses, almost 900 emails in four days, especially from the local women that ignored my real profile.
 Mummymania
Joined: 6/22/2015
Msg: 145
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 5:53:55 PM
Philadelphia is not New York City. Is a town filled with a number of women lacking finances and education. I am surprised you didn't get more responses from the local gals.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 146
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 6:30:34 PM

Another thing to note: Russian lady said her highest age range was 40. She got LOADS of men over 50 trying to score a date. Out of curiosity, I had her ask why they did not go after women their own age (46-55). Most of them said they "get along better" with younger women, and that women their own age were "too old and dried up."

Gals...curious where all the men are your age..they are hitting on the younger women! (Duh!)


Yes, your fake Russian profile drew horny old guys who consider women their own age too old and dried up. And I asked who would want guys who consider women their own age too old and dried up. So?

You’re always trying to poke me, Oluben, begging for attention. So what do YOU think the point was? That a hot Russian model’s pic on a profile would get more messages than VK’s???? No sh!t.
 sibyll01
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 147
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:12:02 PM
The secret to happiness is low expectations. I try to not think about such things as thought in such speculation is counter-productive [at best] & depressing[ at worst].
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 148
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:13:34 PM

I also don't mind attractive 40 something women( or even 50?), because they like sex, often lots of it.


Amazing, I feel the exact same way.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 149
view profile
History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:15:09 PM

a few were really bad. (In my opinion) She found good points in all of them. (Including the one that was married)
^^^ If I wanted really bad and/or married I could have a harem.


I see your point, and her children did complain about him. He was only a companion for her, and that was all she wanted. Just a side note, his wife found out-and kicked him to the curb. They ran around for a year before he died of cancer. From what I was told, his wife was an old stick-in-the-mud, and never wanted to go anywhere. He did. And they went-EVERYWHERE.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 150
view profile
History
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 9:17:10 PM
First, let me think all of you for your kind remarks, they are truly appreciated. Truly.


VolkanoKing
RL is back in fashion..it is? Far as I can tell, the world has left that far behind. The big problem is, you can say to yourself that you want to get back into "real life"....but then you realize everyone around you is still very much plugged in, eyes down, tablets on..just going out to get lunch right now, I ran into dozens of people staring at phones, ipads and kids screwing around with tablets.


If you look for the negative, all you will see is the negative.

I work in downtown Houston. Terrible place. I pay $150 a month to park, you have to pack a lunch or pay exorbitantly to eat, and not particularly well. Most people around Houston will only come downtown if they have jury duty. Panhandlers abound. Walking around is very dangerous, drivers suffering road rage are liable to run you down on purpose. You have to assume that every driver is heavily armed, because this IS Texas, and many are.

But there are moments. Today on my lunch break I walked over to the credit union, about 6 blocks. Riding down in the elevator, there were 3 young people in their 20’s riding with me. Two women, one man. The women, who were attractive, were totally absorbed in their smart phones. The young man was looking back and forth between them, trying to figure out an opening gambit, and failing. I caught his eye, and gave him a rueful smile, and he just shrugged.

One for you, VK, two attractive woman, plugged into their smart phones, ignoring a young man.

But …

On the way back from the credit union, standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change. Coming across from the side street, a beautiful young woman. Tall, long legs, very attractive, maybe 30 to 35. Probably not used to downtown life, she was wearing the short skirt and the high heels, but was having a little trouble navigating in them. She saw me looking and gave me a small smile instead of a glare. I said, “Doesn’t that breeze feel wonderful?” She gave me the kind of smile that could light up several square blocks, and replied, “Oh, yes, it does. It’s so much nicer than it was yesterday.” And then she walked on down the street, and I was left standing there thinking, “Life is good.”
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