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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 151
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it? Page 7 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Purple, this is where your mum and I differ.

I would prefer the man in an unhappy marriage get a divorce then start going out with me rather than me being 'a home wrecker'.

Though perhaps by the time I reach the same age as your mum I may change my mind.
Many women, have no preference for married or single.

There is a lot to be said for being the mistress. All the good bits without having to wash his socks,
if you are not concerned for the woman washing his socks.

He had better be in a good financial position though.
I doubt mistresses go dutch.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 152
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 9:34:33 PM
SeaLady111...this is definitely *your* season.
I predict you'll have your new boyfriend inside of 90 days!
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 153
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 9:56:45 PM
Yeah-women are staring at celphones too, and missing opportunities.

Well, the two women in the elevator did not WANT the opportunity..they didnt care about the guy next to him.

Nice story about the woman on the street, but I am not a young, sexy gal in a short skirt and high heels. Nobody cares if I interact with them.

Also, that sort of chitchat is not welcome in LA, you'll be looked at as if you were nuts. There is a HUGE rule here about personal space. I've tried to make small talk with men I've been interested in, like at small parties, and they literally turn and walk off, like I hadn't even said anything. People have really mastered the art of ignoring you here. They just really don't care.

Regarding Houston..totally sounds like downtown LA, which is an armpit.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 154
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 10:01:51 PM
90 days????

OK I will synchronise my watch.

Now where is my marine chart of Tahiti...
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 155
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 10:03:10 PM


I've tried, feebly, to make small talk with men I've been interested in


Ya know...

If I'm throwing darts and she says, 'Hi. I'm Janet. What do you do for a living?'

That's not small talk, lmao.

Tell me you like my cleft chin or drop a hanky in front of me :)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 156
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 10:54:40 PM
quote]I have never dated a "10" according to society's standards.

I have twice ltr; left many people confused with a side by side visual.

"Drool all you want fellows, she's going home with me!"

Alas, Pride goeth before a Great Fall.

MOL: Mary Ann, no contest.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 157
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:04:23 PM
I did compliment him. I went up to him and said "I like your style" ..he was dressed in a nice hat and clothing, ala 1940's style. He mumbled thank you, averted his eyes and actually walked off.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 158
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:09:07 PM
^^^
You showed enough interest, IMHO

The right guy would have taken the hint :)
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 159
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:13:44 PM
Also, that sort of chitchat is not welcome in LA, you'll be looked at as if you were nuts. There is a HUGE rule here about personal space.
------------
I understand that perfectly. I do not want to have some random person come up to me and start talking to me. Even if it was Helen of Troy, She'd have needed to make me an offer I couldn't refuse right off the bat before I'd be interested (and even that is moot now). What could possibly be so interesting as to know a random stranger would be thrilled to hear about it?

------------
I've tried to make small talk with men I've been interested in, like at small parties, and they literally turn and walk off, like I hadn't even said anything.
------------
Maybe getting to the point a little faster would help. I only pay enough attention to small talk to be able to say uh huh on cue, until the person goes away or I go away.


-----------
They just really don't care.
----------
Not necessarily. They may not care to talk to people, but that doesn't mean they don't care. I've helped people having seizures on the train, tried to keep a cop from kicking a homeless guy off the train when it was snowing and in general, will help someone who needs help. I just have no interest in pointless chit chat with random strangers. Why someone would presume I want to chit chat is beyond me.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 160
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/8/2015 11:28:25 PM
I dont walk up to random men in the street.

I am referring to those "moments" when you can smile and say something nice, make a little joke.


And I get to the point when I approach them at parties. He was alone, and I walked up to him and complimented him on his dress. He mumbled, turned and walked off.

I can't be any more quick and direct than that.


I was also stuck all day in jury duty. I decided to say hello and say a few words to one of the men that was sitting near me. Zero interest, he shut me down and walked off.

So, these are not "random men off the street." They are situations where one has the chance, in a reasonable moment, to say some small thing, some very small, simple, direct, to the point non time wasting thing, cheerfully and with a smile. I am not sitting passively hoping someone "gets the hint"..as with online dating, I actively was involved in initiating conversation, being pleasant, arranging dates quickly and anticipating having a good time.

"I just have no interest in pointless chit chat with random strangers. Why someone would presume I want to chit chat is beyond me."

Again, I do not turn to random strangers on trains and on the sidewalk and try to "chit chat"..I would never presume, ever, that ANY stranger wants to hear anything from me. This city has me well trained. My mouth is shut almost always, and no eye contact.
 Mummymania
Joined: 6/22/2015
Msg: 161
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 9:15:00 AM

Again, I do not turn to random strangers on trains and on the sidewalk and try to "chit chat"..I would never presume, ever, that ANY stranger wants to hear anything from me. This city has me well trained. My mouth is shut almost always, and no eye contact."


Wonderful place you live. Wonderful people. I wonder if some of them have rubbed off on you.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 162
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 1:00:38 PM
Volcano.

I suspect that an unsuspecting man having a woman of your high calibre, pay him a compliment with a smile threw him off balance.

Some people are not able to accept a compliment and coming from someone like you they probably were still pinching themselves hours later.



Keep doing it though.

I like talking to people in elevators.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 163
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 1:05:22 PM

I like talking to people in elevators.


Suggested opening line:

"So, do you like going up, ......or going down"?
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 164
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 1:17:51 PM
While there are many people that are stuck in there own little world permanently. I must admit that sometimes I got things going on trying to figure them out in my head. It might be work related or something like that. while out in public I might not always pay attention to what people say. I'm sure I'm not the only one that it happens to. Later and sometimes much later it downs on me what was said or the opportunity I missed.
You never know if that person had something on his/her mind at the time.

Saying that, I have started lots of conversations in public some lasted for a while, Others were a sentence or two. Its not as bad as it might seem no matter where you go. I must admit I act more in the outgoing manner when at work. On personal time I tend to do my own thing and not bother with others.
If people not into talking just shrug it off and talk to someone else.
I find many people have no idea how to interact with others even when they try.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 165
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 1:56:36 PM

VolkanoKing
Nice story about the woman on the street, but I am not a young, sexy gal in a short skirt and high heels. Nobody cares if I interact with them.

VK, to me, and many others here, you ARE a “young, sexy gal”. I am really not sure why you don’t get that.


Seki1949
MOL: Mary Ann, no contest.

Not so fast, my friend! It is most definitely a contest, if it weren’t a contest, and one of truly epic proportions, why would we be still debating it 50 years later?

MaleFeasance
I do not want to have some random person come up to me and start talking to me. Even if it was Helen of Troy

Really? Even if it’s a beautiful woman?

You can turn in your man card now. The first window, on the right, accepts returns.


sealady111
Volcano.

I suspect that an unsuspecting man having a woman of your high calibre, pay him a compliment with a smile threw him off balance.

I have known many men who were completely thrown off kilter by receiving the slightest attention from a beautiful woman.

Not me, though, I completely expect it, and am only surprised when I don’t get it!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 166
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 2:35:47 PM
^^ wasn't it you Henry who had the young woman at the coffee shop sass you? That was attention.. but you used KILTER. I like that word, we don't use it enuff.
I dislike strangers coming up and trying to engage me in conversation. Worse yet when they attempt to join me. Solitude is welcome at times :)
To answer the contest Q.. Lovie
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 167
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 3:34:56 PM
The Professor


And always happy to see men vote for MaryAnne over Ginger.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 168
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 5:29:28 PM
I'd rather segment the population and then look at the odds. I believe if you lead a passionate life in other aspects of your day to day, your energy will attract. To me this is not a sacrifice, learning about others as we work for a common purpose or enjoying the same activities. For most of this, i have engaged in meetup dot com. Many introverts find people. Needing some lone time to process your thoughts is not equivalent to being lonely all the time. So many ways to meet people, unless you live in a very very small town with no night life or festivities! Then relying upon the internet only, does decrease your odds. As for being really really special, i think i need to work on myself to be that. My lesson has been that you cannot change someone else's really bad behavior, but you also cannot expect everyone to be perfect and meet a long list of "musts". A lot is chemistry, but that needs to be only a part of it all. I feel the urge to be with someone, but i have male and female friends who believe that their urges are gone. For them, i recommend, natural hormone replacement:)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 169
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 9:12:14 PM
"How many people have you met throughout your life that you know, from the perspective of now, were really, really special?"

I remember agreeing with someone I was in a relationship with that what we had was rare. Probably one in a million. The population of Canada is only 35 million. Not good odds even when I was young.

In my sixties, I think I am luck to have had 2 amazing loves in my life.

I believe that there is nothing abnormal about being in your sixties and not wanting/needing another relationship.
At this point in my life, I don't want to cohabitate with anyone. I have a full life that I am quite happy with. The thought of being in a relationship at my age makes me tired just thinking about it. I don't have the energy to compromise at my age. I have had my two special relationships that didn't take compromise. I have no chance of finding another.

Rather than being unhappy about being alone, I feel blessed with all life has given me and continues to give me.

I live 6 month in one country and 6 months in another. 10 years ago I started to hear that once I was in a relationship with men I was dating, I would give up travelling. I choose my freedom to come and go as I please. I know it confuses many people that I can be happy spending the rest of my life alone, but that is okay.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 170
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 9:38:26 PM

I believe that there is nothing abnormal about being in your sixties and not wanting/needing another relationship.
At this point in my life, I don't want to cohabitate with anyone. I have a full life that I am quite happy with. The thought of being in a relationship at my age makes me tired just thinking about it. I don't have the energy to compromise at my age. I have had my two special relationships that didn't take compromise. I have no chance of finding another.

Rather than being unhappy about being alone, I feel blessed with all life has given me and continues to give me.


I had a conversation a few weeks ago that covered this very ground. I was looking forward to my next great love and she was more or less "why bother." I don't think it is a sex/male-female thing: I've read similar from both sides in these threads. However, It is something I don't understand.
Perhaps it is just perspective: having lived in a marriage that was lacking in intimacy (of any sort) I came away with a hunger that cannot be quenched by my company alone. Those that have had great relationships - perhaps their thirst/hunger was slaked.

As for talking to strangers - yes, there are times my head is in the clouds and intrusions into my space are not only unwanted they are, indeed, intrusions. So, I fully understand the same in others. However, there are times I find it natural to strike up a conversation with strangers with a comment, an aside, an observation, and see where it leads. As I evolve into more of a dater I do wonder where it might lead.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 171
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 9:43:01 PM
Oh, MaryAnn v. Ginger?

MaryAnn by several lengths - that is the face and person I would want to see first thing in the AM. But, will you forgive me if I admit to fantasizing about Ginger?

I want the girl (woman) next door in my bed - she only gets better as time eclipses our youth. Ginger rarely ever gets better - but in out dreams is there forever.

TK
[self identifies too easily with Gilligan. Alas


SKIPPER!!!]
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 172
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 10:06:29 PM
"Perhaps it is just perspective: having lived in a marriage that was lacking in intimacy (of any sort) I came away with a hunger that cannot be quenched by my company alone. Those that have had great relationships - perhaps their thirst/hunger was slaked. "

I have wondered that myself.
I think that I know I have been loved, and I know I have loved both mentally and physically, so that takes away the search to prove myself to myself. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe not.
It has been quite a few years since I have seen a man that I wanted to persue a relationship with. I wonder if I met someone who peeked my interest would I change my mind. I doubt it but only the future will answer that question. Either way life is good.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 173
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/9/2015 10:24:17 PM
Really? Even if it’s a beautiful woman?
-----------
Only if she were to make me an offer I couldn't refuse without any pointless chit chat games that I'm supposed play. However, that doesn't happen much in real life except in movies and in any case, I wouldn't be able to a woman up on that now anyway. So, what she looks like makes zero difference.

---------
You can turn in your man card now. The first window, on the right, accepts returns.
--------
I can't. My gf took it, said I can't use it and won't tell me where she hid it.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 174
What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/10/2015 3:05:27 PM
^ Stop trying to pick a fight, you... you bully! :P
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 175
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What do you think your odds are? Why? Are you o.k. about it?
Posted: 7/10/2015 3:09:57 PM
LiliMarleen- glad you found a partner and happiness

I'm an optimist & hope I will have someone to share life with--I'm not ok with the prospect of singlehood :)....though my work in teaching and research fill a lot to time.
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