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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 48
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Why do some people rush things?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
People with instant love, that went on to work out after they found they really did like each other, rarely talk about how many times before that, that they felt the same way about someone and it didn't work out. Some people are in love with love/lust, they need that first feeling of euphoria when everything tingles and stars flow from their eyes. Sometimes after a plethora of this they start backing up and thinking, wait a minute here, why does this always end so badly. Someone who needs the first flush isn't going to be around long once that turns into knowing each other. Those who fell quickly and lasted, would have done so if they'd taken their time too. If it's not lasting through time, then it's obviously a serial string of lust followed by moving on to the next high. Of course there's always exceptions, but mostly I've found when people talk about instant highs, they aren't really talking about the other person, they are talking about the newness, the attention, the excitement without knowing the person, and once they know the person then the fantasy is ruined because no one usually lives up to that lustful fantasy.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 49
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Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/6/2015 10:49:47 AM

_shakti_
Without the phrase 'humping my leg' would it have sounded hostile? I usually say that it feels like they are trying to inhale me whole.


You are correct, it was the phrase “humping my leg” which made your post sound hostile (at least to me).

Everyone has to move at a speed that seems appropriate to them. It takes 2 to make a relationship, and if those 2 are on different pages, moving at different speeds, it probably isn’t going to work out. But I really feel like if you’re six weeks into dating someone, you ought to try talking before giving up.

I also think this “kicking to the curb” is a rather hostile thing to say. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that if this gentlemen has invested time, energy, emotions into you (the OP) over a period of 6 weeks, he just might deserve a little more respect than that. Words do matter, you know. When the posters here say, “kick him to the curb”, they are revealing a lot of hostilities. Why not say, “end this relationship” instead?

For example, BlondeAngel says:


if he doesn't have the ability to "dial it down", she needs to exit


Can you see how “she needs to exit” sounds much less hostile than “kick him to the curb”?


DeeTriState
I know people who have met and married in three weeks. I also know couples who met at a bar, got drunk, slept together that night and have been together for 25 years. The trick - IT WAS MUTUAL.
If both of you feel the same way, it doesn't matter. Problem is when you don't.


This is it, in a nutshell. And we covered this pretty thoroughly, back on the first page of this thread. Then again, if we didn’t rehash everything over and over, what else would we be doing while sitting around bored out of our skulls? (smile)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 50
Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/6/2015 8:45:37 PM
The term, "kicking him to the curb" is much less offensive to me than someone who makes constant sexual innuendos and thinks they're being witty.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 51
Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/6/2015 8:48:17 PM
daynadaze

You are so right and often the people cited as being together years after the quick overnight falling in love and marriage thing, are not necessarily happy but together for all sorts of reasons other than love.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 52
Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/7/2015 7:45:28 AM
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that if this gentlemen has invested time, energy, emotions into you (the OP) over a period of 6 weeks, he just might deserve a little more respect than that. Words do matter, you know. When the posters here say, “kick him to the curb”, they are revealing a lot of hostilities. Why not say, “end this relationship” instead?


I'd also wonder why someone would date a person for 6 weeks if they were "not into them"? Are they being used as a "place holder"? Something to keep you occupied till something "better" comes along? Not saying you did that OP, I'm just making a general observation.

Some people are only attracted to people who treat them like carp :0(
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 53
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Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/7/2015 9:49:57 AM
that sounds fishy ;-) LOL
 LittleLadyMaxine
Joined: 4/11/2014
Msg: 54
Why do some people rush things?
Posted: 1/7/2015 11:40:08 AM

I also think this “kicking to the curb” is a rather hostile thing to say. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that if this gentlemen has invested time, energy, emotions into you (the OP) over a period of 6 weeks, he just might deserve a little more respect than that. Words do matter, you know. When the posters here say, “kick him to the curb”, they are revealing a lot of hostilities. Why not say, “end this relationship” instead?

For example, BlondeAngel says:


if he doesn't have the ability to "dial it down", she needs to exit


Can you see how “she needs to exit” sounds much less hostile than “kick him to the curb”?


- Better yet, let people make their own decisions. While I do dispense some tough love on these forums, I try to stop short of telling people to drop someone. I'll be the first one to admit, sometimes it's hard to do!

--------Gary and Marie
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