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 AUTHOR
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 76
TinderPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I guess that means I am not a modern woman. I skip right over profiles that feature dogs prominently - especially the yippy, yappy, ankle biting sorts.

 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 77
Tucker Tinder
Posted: 12/1/2015 9:47:23 PM
Tucker,

You would have no trouble with doggie Tinder.
I am certain you would have your dance card full.

And Tucker, pay no attention to that woman named Spot.
What a silly name for a person or dog.


______________

QUESTION FOR KARMA.
What do you do when you see a friend's husband or boyfriend on Tinder.
Show your friend how the app works?
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Tucker Tinder
Posted: 12/2/2015 12:51:23 AM
I was rather shocked that guys my age have to be more
than half of their age to find a date with women
their age or older 56-68.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 79
mothertucker!
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:58:24 AM
gosh, any gal who look's like spot's photo can call herself anything she wishes. just hopefully not late for dinner. and everyone can breathe easy, I won't be trying to hump her leg at the table.

do pooches even have dance cards? I'd thought they'd sniff a fire hydrant to see who's around. As a potential date once told me decades ago, "checking the pee-mail".

As for showing a friend that their bed-buddy's getting swiped around town...yeah, that's gotta be tough. I suppose the solution would be to go to the friend during a boring period of time and say, "hey, lets check tinder for who's hot in the area!" and accidently find the person. I mean, don't lady friends swipe tinder together for fun?

if a guy my age has to be more than half my age to get a woman half his age....and they leave their houses at the same time of day...at what time do they meet in the middle? I never was good at these math problems.

as for whether its a hookup app or a dating one....I suppose those who focus only on looks and have little room for personality, tend to find themselves in a short relationship. maybe that's where the rep comes from.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 80
Tinder
Posted: 12/2/2015 12:59:26 PM
>>>>a_djentleman you hit the Tinder experience right on the head. although you did forget: "the kiddos in the pics are not mine". Hmm why not just exclude the photo with the kids that aren't yours and save the explanation.<<<<

Pretty sure it's code for, "On the fast track to you buying me a ring and shooting a baby into me."
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 81
Tinder
Posted: 12/2/2015 2:39:10 PM
a_d You are 38, no children with a good job and a good gene pool.

Of course child free women in their thirties see you as a good potential husband and father.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 82
Tinder
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:50:19 PM
QUESTION FOR KARMA.
What do you do when you see a friend's husband or boyfriend on Tinder.
Show your friend how the app works?

------

I've seen quite a few boyfriends/fiances/husbands of friends on Tinder (which keeps confirming to me that age doesn't matter when it comes to cheating, because they are all older guys in their 40s and 50s). I never went straight to their female partners to tell them - I was always way too stunned, thinking that they were this happy couple and BOOM, here he is trolling for ****. I always contacted a mutual friend and asked her if the cheater is still with the woman he's cheating on. In all but one case, they were, and my friend and I were thinking of the best way to tell the unsuspecting woman. In the end, it was always my friend who would tell them, because I didn't want to get involved in the drama. In one case, where the dude was hitting on me on Match, his girlfriend contacted me and asked me tons of questions and got mad because I'm supposedly "not even his type". WTF? Blame the ***hole, not me, I didn't even respond to his message. She also unfriended me on Facebook. Women can be pretty stupid in that regard, blaming other women for their douchebags' behavior.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Tinder
Posted: 12/2/2015 9:43:07 PM
Seems to me that there are too many inactive accounts, creating too many people. At least POF alerts you as to whether or not there is any activity in the profile.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 84
Tinder
Posted: 12/3/2015 7:10:43 AM

Every so often (maybe once a week) I will have a match. They either
1- Don't respond to my message
2- Never message me
3- Message back and forth a couple times and vanish


I was able to have a few dates with women from Tinder. But the above was a common experience for me.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 85
Tinder
Posted: 12/3/2015 9:13:03 AM
>>>>You are 38, no children with a good job and a good gene pool. Of course child free women in their thirties see you as a good potential husband and father.<<<<

Except there's this period of time where you flirt, date, develop chemistry, court, have fun, fall in love, become friends & partners, experience life, meet each other's respective family, move in together, travel, sort your finances, get married, plan for the future , THEN decide when to bring kids into the picture, take IUD out, carry on.

Swipe right > make babies = creepy. Instant turn off, ladies.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Tinder
Posted: 12/3/2015 11:54:08 AM

And Tucker, pay no attention to that woman named Spot.


Actually I think that it is a rather clever name. We had a person whose name on a gaming site was Cton and no one could figure out what it meant or stood for, it turned out to generate a great deal of conversation and interest....anyway the problem with busting someone on tinder is that are you sure it is really him or her putting up that profile/picture? There are so many pictures of so many people in social media now a days that setting up a profile with someone's picture probably wouldn't be hard.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 87
view profile
History
Tinder
Posted: 12/3/2015 1:32:38 PM

Tinder IS shallow because that is the ONLY thing it's based upon - looks. That's shallow. Period.

What is "it"? Writing to someone, showing interest of someone you haven't even met. Yes. MUTUAL attraction. That's where you start off, because that's how we're made and that's how it works. You're not going to know if they're a sweet guy or girl, if they're responsible, level-headed, etc off the bat. But at least you can get the LOOKS part out of the way Quick, and have more to talk about without a biography of a profile (just key notes that one can put in, that can play a role in unliking/unswiping them).

Looks is the #1 thing for both genders. But you don't have to think about it much. It's the #1 thing to "get an interview". We step away from those we're attracted to due to turn-offs or incompatibilities, but looks gets us in the door to be in Position to potentially get the ball rolling. Tinder's a great idea because it cuts to the chase to talk to someone -- and Requires a gal to Also at least be attracted to the guy to get messages.

Why do you feel the need to think that a natural component of attraction is shallow? Finding someone you'd like to potentially mate with in the future is not shallow, it's a starting point.

I agree. People are turned off by it because they don't like their looks being "judged" but they themselves do it, we all do it fluidly. And one doesn't have to be consciously thinking about mating with them -- it's just basic (sexual) attraction. It's a REQUIREMENT, but some people don't get that.

One can make arguments against Tinder for not having more filters/info to fill out, since it's already gotten popularity. It has an age range... one could put in height range, job category (unemployed, in college, has job, has career), has kids (yes part time majority, yes part time minority, yes full time, no) -- all playing a role in Basic datability that one can filter like it's age. It has text one can write, and as with this place, basically none can be written anyway.

But Tinder's greatest Strength is a mutual-attraction requirement and leaving all the details to conversation. Just as people are over-sensitive about their own looks being judged (sorry, everyone assesses them naturally without thinking), on the flip side there's a legit reason not to over-judge based on a billion details in their profile. A picture can also express what Type of person they are, too. They're not mug shots.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 88
Tinder
Posted: 12/3/2015 4:49:24 PM
^
Awful lot to write for what essentially boils down to "obvious statement is obvious". Of course, relationships are based on mutual attraction.

The biggest benefit I've gleaned from Tinder's perfect and to-the-point system is how absurdly hideous I am despite thousands-upon-thousands of right swipes on my part, therefore "mutual attraction" is impossible. Guess I'll make a martini and watch some Netflix. ¯\(°_o)/¯ I wonder if they've got 'the Elephant Man' or 'Mask'.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 89
view profile
History
Tinder
Posted: 12/6/2015 4:32:56 AM
Just another fad that will fade out and another will take its place. Wash, rinse, and repeat.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Tinder
Posted: 12/6/2015 9:26:14 AM

Just another fad that will fade out and another will take its place. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

I don't think so at all. It's been around long enough not to be a fad, it's not a new concept, and has maintained popularity. New little apps like it have sprouted up, but haven't made people run to 'it' and also away from Tinder. Some places don't have to be constructed that well to be around forever (POF) -- it's all about the # of people using it and getting that foothold, while being easy & simple to use and manage.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 91
Tinder
Posted: 12/6/2015 6:41:52 PM

I don't think so at all. It's been around long enough not to be a fad, it's not a new concept, and has maintained popularity.


...well...I agree, but...

like dating on Craigslist, Tinder has devolved into a "hookup" app.

Went to the bar on Friday night and my phone blinked to life with all sorts of Tinder activity.

I have a screenshot of a...scary conversation...that ended when she said, "Dic pic or your not real".
...but the better conversations still boiled down to the same or similar.

Am I getting old? Whatever happened to people that just went to the bar to have fun? Is everything about sex, now? Am I supposed to be sleeping with women like Charlie?

I assume that I am the problem here...

My conclusion is that...
...I guess I'm a figment of my own imagination?

But, in order to have an imagination, don't I have to be a real person?
Am I evidence of Imagi-ception?


Can I just be the male version of the lonely cat lady? Only, with alcohol instead of cats.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 92
Tinder
Posted: 12/6/2015 8:08:05 PM

Except there's this period of time where you flirt, date, develop chemistry, court, have fun, fall in love, become friends & partners, experience life, meet each other's respective family, move in together, travel, sort your finances, get married, plan for the future , THEN decide when to bring kids into the picture, take IUD out, carry on.

Swipe right > make babies = creepy. Instant turn off, ladies.


^^ Women have a biological clock and nowhere near as much time to take things slow when in their 30's.
You are a man.
Your biology is completely different.

Many women in their 30's realise their time is running out and they do not have time to 'waste' on spending years with someone who is not seeking the same.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 93
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 9:25:56 AM

Women have a biological clock and nowhere near as much time to take things slow when in their 30's.
You are a man.
Your biology is completely different.

Many women in their 30's realise their time is running out and they do not have time to 'waste' on spending years with someone who is not seeking the same.


If you've reached a point in your biological timetable where you don't have the leeway left to take the appropriate time to invest in developing a stable, loving relationship, marriage (optional), and household, then you've probably dragged your ass too long in the dating arena. You either need to:

1. Just get artificially insemenated already if it's so utterly important that it's your particular vagina that the baby falls out of, and then go seeking relationships perhaps with those who might be in a similar place in life (a.k.a. Good luck dating as a single mom).

2. Maybe consider the option of adoption instead of pushing things so deep into your lifetime to give yourself some flexibility and not have a higher risk pregnancy approaching fourty years of age.

or

3. I don't know, how about considering just not having kids? Again, no one should be more aware of their biological clock than women themselves. I'm a guy and I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'm probably never going to have the option to raise a family. I got delt a shitty hand, and I'll live with it... simply find happiness elsewhere. There's a lot of pros to not having them, and the Earth could use a few less of us anyway.

If you're a reasonably attractive, reasonably intelligent, reasonably employed woman and can't lock down a decent guy over the course of ~two decades from college to your late thirties, then I don't know what to tell you. I haven't had a date in over two years and that's not for a lack of trying. The vibe I get from modern dating is that women on the average are extremely resistant to the idea of actually going on dates, you know, physically meeting with and talking to other human beings. Who are you gonna blame?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 94
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 9:41:43 AM
All fine ideas but don't expect the world to adhere. Women will continue wanting a family and their own children, as they have for the history of humanity. Same goes for having religious beliefs and whatever else irritates you.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 95
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 9:57:56 AM

Tinder has devolved into a "hookup" app.


Actually, when Tinder polled their users, some 80% of them reported they were looking for relationships and not hookups. This echos a study that a university conducted on it's students on the phenomenon of "hookup culture" and they got the same percentage, men and women alike. Most expressed dissatisfaction with hookups in general.




Can I just be the male version of the lonely cat lady? Only, with alcohol instead of cats.


For sure. Welcome to my world. You can do fun things like send out hundreds of women who ignore you utterly, and awkwardly try and slip that you're single and looking into conversations with your worthless friends who don't have any single women in their respective social networks. #foreveralonefun
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 96
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 10:03:26 AM

All fine ideas but don't expect the world to adhere. Women will continue wanting a family and their own children, as they have for the history of humanity. Same goes for having religious beliefs and whatever else irritates you.


Want all you want, but after your ovaries go all Detroit economy, you're done. Lots of women will end up on my little list of unfortunate realities while they procrastinate either way. No skin off my back... like I said, I've already resigned to the fact I won't have an opportunity to procreate. I'm fine with it.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 97
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 11:13:43 AM
I wasn't talking about me. My profile is blank and inactive... And I'm not on tinder. I was talking of the women you contact.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 98
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 12:06:55 PM

I wasn't talking about me. My profile is blank and inactive... And I'm not on tinder. I was talking of the women you contact


I wasn't referring to you either, just women who might be of the logic "Coffee tomorrow, cohabitation by next week, married in January, pregnant in April." It just seems hasty to me, and a recipe for future divorce. Don't get me wrong: I'm all about finding a life partner and not messing around casually dating. I just think it's worthwhile to spend the time making sure you're with the right one. Sometimes that takes a bit of time is all.

As for the women I contact, I ONLY contact those who are open/undecided about kids and those who don't want them. I'm not bugging women who are sure they want them.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 99
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 12:13:44 PM

your post suggests women are to 'blame' for their singledom AND to blame for yours


Only in the cases where it might be true. Every situation is different. Like I said above, not my target audience anyway. My lack of success is due to being ugly I'm sure.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 100
Tinder
Posted: 12/7/2015 1:37:39 PM

I've seen quite a few boyfriends/fiances/husbands of friends on Tinder….. I never went straight to their female partners to tell them….

I always contacted a mutual friend and asked her if the cheater is still with the woman he's cheating on. In all but one case, they were, and my friend and I were thinking of the best way to tell the unsuspecting woman. In the end, it was always my friend who would tell them, because I didn't want to get involved in the drama


You have got to be kidding! You didn’t want to “get involved” in the drama?? According to you, you started the whole thing! by alerting your “mutual friend” to the “cheater(s)” (after discussing and speculating on the condition of their marriage/relationship and deciding for yourself what is best for them, of course) why didn’t you just “left swipe” and mind your own business?

well then what happened? Your buttinsky friend went and told various mutual friends that their SO’s pics were “cheating” on Tinder and….. did they all divorce? break up? kill him? punch your friend out for not minding her own business? What did she decide was the “best way” to tell them?
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